jazaka Allah

Salam yaaraan e bazm, leejiaye aik oar sher likh rahaa hooN iss par tabaa aazamai ki jiaye. dam miraa niklaa tairay waaday ke saath tairi ghabrai hoee haaN ki taraH hay na kamaal ka sha'er? Laikin is sher meiN bhi iSlaah kar di gayee aor aik lafz tabdeel kar ke iss shaer ko haqeeqat ke qareeb tar ka...

Haali ne shaer yooN likhaa thaa baarhaa daikh chukay tairaa farab aye zaalim ham se ub jaan ke dhokaa naheeN khayaa jaataa oar iSlaah meiN Zaalim ko badal kar dunya kar diyaa. Jis se shaer yooN hogayaa. ub khud hi meHsoos kijiaye ke kia faraq parhaa. baarhaa daikh chukay tairaa farab aye duniya ham...

Hashmat Usmani wrote:

muhammad_19k wrote: Zalim ki jagaa jo lafz layaa gayaa woh bhi failun (2 2) ke wazn par hai.

oops!!! maiN ne jald-baazii meN Ghaur se nahiiN paRhaa...shitaanii kaam kar baiThaa ... sorry!

Janab koi baat naheeN. iss taraH to hotaa hi hai

meiN iSlaahi shaer paish kar daitaa hooN

Mohtaram Janab Hamid Baaqri Sb, Assalaam o alaikum mohtaram mohammed khawar saahib masha allah badee mehnat kee hai aapnay. bahut kuch aapki is mukhlisaanah kaushish kay baaray mei.n ustado.n nay kaha hai .mazeed kuch kehnay ko baaqi nahi.n hai.chu.nkeh hum khud aik taalibay ilm hai.n. hum apni dilk...

Salam Hashmat Usmani Sb, is khel meiN hiSSaa laine ka shukriyaa. mere Khayaal se lafz-e-"zaalim" ko lafz-e-"dost" se tabdeel kiyaa gayaa hogaa kiuN k dhoka to zaalim se nahiin khaayaa jaataa bal koii dost hii daGhaa de kar baa'is-e-qalaq ban saktaa hai. ji aap bilkul theek farmat...

Salam Saraa ji, khawar sahib adaab arz hai, ye acha silsila shuru kiya hai Jawaid bhai aur aap ne is se dimaagh per zor aur souchne ki salahiyet baRhti hai Iss silsalay ka sehraa bhi Jawaid SaHib ke sir hi jaataa hai. ;-) lekin aapne jo likha vo tou Haali ke ashaar paRh ker bhi tou hum bata sakte ha...

Tamam Ahl e bazm ko Salam! Kissi jagaa parhaa thaa ke sha-eri ka ustaad woh sha'ir hotaa hai ke jis ke shaer meiN ko bhi lafz tabdeel karne se us ke sher ka Husn jaataa rahay ga. Yaani Alfaaz pehle hi iss khoobSoorti se pro-aye hotaiN haiN ke un meiN tabdeeli un ke Husn meiN bigaaR to paidaa kar sak...

Saraj ji,

aap ke mashwaray oar daad ke leeaye shukriyaa.

mamnoon,
Muhammad Khawar.

Khawar sahib kal jald bazi mein ye jawab likh di thi dobara ghaur karne per mujhe lafz 'yun' ke istemal mein koi na-munasibat nahi lagi balke misre ko badalne se shair ki khoobsurti jaa rahi hai. mere khayaal mein filwaqt aise hi rehne deti hoon, kisi aur ne abhi tak kuch nahi kaha masalan jawaid b...

Mohtaram Jawaid Sb, Adab o tasleemat, MaiN Amuman taFseeli ya tanqeedi tabsaroN se gurez karta hooN jiski kaii wojuHaat haiN. Awwal tou meri apni maSroofiyaat, doosrey mujhe Khadsha bhi lahaq hota hai keh kahiN mera tabsarah kisee naye saathee ki hommt nah toR dey ya unki dilshiknee ka sabab nah bun...

Agar aap shaer No. 3 ki tashreeH se mutamain haiN to phir theek hai. Shear No. 4 ke leeaye, mairay zahn meiN kuch iss taraH ka khyaal aa rahaa hai. haal e dil tanhaayi mein tujh se kahun aa bhi ja ub tao bahaanaa choR de. aap yaqeenun mujh se behtar soch sakteeN haiN ke aap kyaa khyaal paish karnaa ...

Saraa ji, aap ki ye aazaad ghazal bohat achhchhi koshish hai :-), aazaad se mairi ye bilkul muraad naheeN ke qafiyaa o radeef se aazaad balke aazaad meiN ne :independent: ke tor par istemaal kiyaa hai. :-) ye walay ash'aar bohat shaandar haiN. 5. jab talak dil mein lahu baaqi rahe "koee kaese d...

Salam Janab Muzaffar Sb, aap ki HoSla afzaai ke leeaye bohat mamnoon hooN. Allah taaalaa aap par rehmataoN oar naimatoaN ki baarish kare. aap se aik baar phir darkhaast kar rahaa hooN ke mujhe ye zaroor bataayaa karaiN ki konse do aik shaer nisbatan beHtar haiN :grin: apne jo nuqaat uthaa-aye haiN u...

Yaaran e bazm, kuch waqt faarigh thaa to sochaa ke pichlee moshairoaN meiN likhaa huwaa asaatazaa ka kalaam hi paRh looN. toa ustaad e mohtaram janab Abudullah Nazir SaHib ki uss ghazal par nazar paRi jis se muzaffar SaHib ne ye taraH miSraA diyaa hai. Ustaad e mohtaram naa saazi-aye tabiyat ki waj...