nigaah Khud pah jo Daalee to yeh huwaa ma'loom!

[Sarwar A. Raz]

yaaraan-e-bazm: tasleemaat!

ek taazah t^araHee Ghazal HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat hai. miSra' hai:

"nah ibtidaa kee Khabar hai, nah intihaa ma'loom"

aaj kal t^abee,a't Ghazal-goyee kee jaanib maa,il hai, HaalaaN.k maSroofiyat ma'mool se ziyaadah hee hai. aap ne sunaa ho gaa keh :chor choree se jaataa hai, lekin heraa-pheree se kab jaataa hai!:. meraa mu,a'amilah bh`ee aisaa hee samajh`iYe! aap kee raaYe aur tabSireh kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa.

maiN ne is Ghazal meN ek lafz^ us kee ma'mool kee bunat se haT kar baaNdh`aa hai. naYe likh`ne waaloN se darKhwaast hai keh woh is lafz^ kee nishaan-dehee karne kee koshish kareN. shaayad is se kuch` HaaSil ho jaaYe!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
==============================
GHAZAL:

nigaah Khud pah jo Daalee to yeh huwaa ma'loom
"nah ibtidaa kee Khabar hai, nah intihaa ma'loom!"

siwaaYe is ke naheeN kuch` bh`ee baa-Khudaa ma'loom
hameN to apnaa bh`ee yaaro naheeN pataa ma'loom!

ma,aal-e-shikwah-e-Gham, HaaSil-e-du,a'a ma'loom!
Ghareeb-e-shehr-e-wafaa kaa i'laaj? laa-ma'loom!

KhizaaN-gazeedah bahaaroN ne kyaa kahaa tujh` se?
ma,aal-e-gul naheeN kyaa tujh` ko ai Sabaa! ma'loom?

ik u'mr kaT gayee ummeed-o-naa-muraadee meN
ab intiz^aar hai kal kaa, so woh bh`ee kyaa ma'loom!

bas itnaa jaante haiN dil kisee ko de aaYe
bh`ale-bure kee Khabar kyaa hameN bh`alaa ma'loom?

naheeN hai kuch` bh`ee talaash-e-sukoon se HaaSil
maqaam-e-i'shq kee ham ko hai har adaa ma'loom!

bh`ale hee tum ko nah ho apne a'ashiqoN kaa pataa
hameN hai Haal tumhaaraa Zaraa Zaraa ma'loom!

paRaa hai soch meN "Sarwar" maqaam-e-i'brat meN
yeh kyaa Ghazab hai keh ma'loom bh`ee hai naa-ma'loom!
=======================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal per meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

JahaN tak aapke sawaal kaa taAalluq hei:

"maiN ne is Ghazal meN ek lafz^ us ke ma'mool kee bunat se haT kar baaNdh`aa hai. "

MaiN souchkar bataaunga ke kaunsaa lafz uske maAmool se haTkar hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Sarwar A. Raz]

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb: tasleemaat!

Ghazal kee paZeeraayee aur daad-o-teHseen ke liYe dilee shukriyah qubool keejiYe! jahaaN tak :us lafz^: kaa ta,a'lluq hai woh :naYe likh`ne waaloN: ke liYe hai jaisaa keh maiN ne Khat^ meN waaZ^eH kar diyaa thaa. aap se yeh pooch`ne kee maiN kaise gustaaKhee kar saktaa hooN? taubah, taubah, Khudaa, Khudaa keejiYe!

baaqee raawee sab chain boltaa hai!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[poet]

janab a raz sahib
aap ki ghazal paRhi.
buhat umda kalam hay. ji too chahta hay ka har sher par alag alag tabsira karain. lakin
main kahan aur ya wabal kahan.
har sher tawajoo khainchta hay.
la maloom agarchah darust tarqeeb nahi samjhi jati. lakin is main aisi kamal muharat kay sath aap nay ya tarqeeb istamal ki hay ka ujab ka ahsad hi nahi hoota. aur hamaray khiyal main shari ki zuban hi darust hay. saqa hazrat zaroor iatraz farmain gay. lakin ham is par aap koo bhar poor dad daytay hain aur is tarqeeb koo bilkul justified samajhtay hian.
hamari janib say buhat ziada dad qabool farmain

[Sarwar A. Raz]

janaab :poet: SaaHeb: aadaab!

tavajjuh aur daad ke liYe mamnoon hooN. aap ne tabSirah par likh`aa hai keh :maiN kahaaN aur yeh wabaal kahaaN?: to a'rZ hai keh ta'meeree tabSirah :wabaal: kab se ho gayaa hai? aap tafSeel se tabSirah keejiYe taa.k fikr par mazeed dareeche waa hoN. maiN intiz^aar karooN gaa.

aap agar buraa nah maaneN to a'rZ^ karooN gaa keh aap ko apne Roman imlaa par tavajjuh kee Z^aroorat hai taa.k aap ke paRhne waale diqqat kaa shikaar nah hoN. aap ne kayee alfaaz^ aise likh`e haiN jin ko samajh`ne meN mujh` ko bh`ee mushkil pesh aayee. micaal ke t^aur par :tarqeeb: (tarkeeb), :saqah: (ciqah), shari (shaa,i'ree, waGhairah.

maiN aap kaa dil se shukr-guZaar hooN keh aap ne meree Ghazal kee paZeeraayee kee. ummeed hai keh aa,indah bh`ee aap se niyaaz HaaSil hotaa rahe gaa.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[Rehana.A]

Mohtaram Sarwar Sahib!

AAp ki yeh ghazal kisi aur forum par bhi nazar nawaaz ho chukee hey bay had pasand aa,i humaien is ko paRhnay ka moq,aa anayat karnay par aap ki mamnoon hoon buhut shukriya aap ka.

[Shummu]

Wah Sarwar sahab bahut umda ghazal hamesha ki tarah..is baar qawaafee saaamne ke the magar jis mahaarat se aapne unka istimaal kiya hai woh qaabil-e-taareef hai...har sher khoobsurat hai khaaksar MATLA to wah wah wah..... naacheez ki dher saari daad haazir hai ...qubool farmaayein :)

Talib-e-dua,
Shumaila