"urti hai gul ki neend naseem-e-bahaar se"

[Ibn-e-siddique]

Assalam-o-alaikum

kuch arsa qabl Josh Malihabadi saHib ki zameen meiN aik ghazal likhi thi, aap sab ki aala basaaratoN aur intiqaad-o-aiHtisaab ki nazr kar rahaa hooN :

rastay jo munsalik the mire koo-e-yaar se
ab tak aTey hue haiN voh dil ke ghubaar se

maaloom ye hua hai mujhe hijr-e-yaar se
koi sazaa nahiN hai baRee intizaar se

maana visaal shauq ki manzil ka hai naqeeb
phir bhi khayaal-e-yaar ghaneemat hai yaar se

andoh-e-aashiqee ne bahot kuch dia hameN
kuch kam nahiN milaa hai gham-e-rozgaar se

kis kis ko le rahaa hai ye apni panaah mein
pooche to koi is dil-e-jaageer daar se

kuch dostoN ko taaqat-e-goyaaee kia milii
dil daagh daagh kar gaye lafzoN ke vaar se

kuch log jab gaye miree mehfil ko choR ker
mujh ko lagaa ke patte gire shaakhsaar se

is aashiqee mein Haal miraa ye hua ke log
pehchaante haiN pairahan-e-taar taar se

kyuN guftgoo se aaj bahot jhaR rahe haiN phool
shaayad Tehel ke aaye haiN voh laala zaar se

ahl-e-chaman ki shaan-e-nazaakat hai kia nabeel
"uRti hai gul ki neend naseem-e-bahaar se "

shukria

Amjad

[Anmol]

Adaab, Amjad Sahib!

rastay jo munsalik the mire koo-e-yaar se
ab tak aTey hue haiN voh dil ke ghubaar se

Raste bhi sanwar jayeNge, inshaAllah. Matla bohot pasand aaya.

maaloom ye hua hai mujhe hijr-e-yaar se
koi sazaa nahiN haiN baRee intizaar se

Well said. Very nice sher. ChaleN koi to mera hum'khyaal shaks mila jise meri tarah intezaar pasand nahiN. Jaane kaun log hote heN jo kehte heN k intizaar meiN maza hay. Hum to kehte heN, intizaar jaan'leva hay.

maana visaal shauq ki manzil ka hai naqeeb
phir bhi khayaal-e-yaar ghaneemat hai yaar se

Naqeeb means what? Something like naqaab? :? Aur wese mujhe ye sher samajh nahiN aaya. Bhala yaar se zyada khyaal-e-yaar ghaneemat kyooN lagta hay aap ko?

andoh-e-aashiqee ne bahot kuch dia hameN
kuch kam nahiN milaa hai gham-e-rozgaar se

Hmm i remember, is sher ki asl soorat ye thi,

Kuch aashiqi ne bhi hameN ruswa kia bohot
Aur dukh bhi bohot mile heN Ghum-e-rozgaar se

I wonder why u changed it? I liked the old one. May be your new version's 2nd misra is not that clear.

kis kis ko le rahaa hai ye apni panaah mein
pooche to koi is dil-e-jaageer daar se

Waah waah, "dil-e-jageerdaar" ki tarkeeb bohot khoob lagi. 8)

kuch dostoN ko taaqat-e-goyaaee kia milii
dil daagh daagh kar gaye lafzoN ke vaar se

Bohot khoob. Aap ko goonge dost banane chahye they na.

Takraar-e-lafzi se sher ka lutf dobala ho gaya.

kuch log jab gaye miree mehfil ko choR ker
mujh ko lagaa ke patte gire shaakhsaar se

Oho kaun log heN woh? zara hum bhi to suneN.

is aashiqee mein Haal miraa ye hua ke log
pehchaante haiN pairahan-e-taar taar se

So sad.

Lekin ab naya pairhan silwa lijiye, rasm-e-dunya bhi hay, moqa bhi hay aur , dastoor bhi hay.

kyuN guftgoo se aaj bahot jhaR rahe haiN phool
shaayad Tehel ke aaye haiN voh laala zaar se

HeN? Zyada sawaal jawab na kijiye, phooloN k sath kaaNte bhi to hote heN, kahiN kuch der meiN un k jhaRne ki baari na aa jaye. Wese aap un k Tehelne ki adat kum karwayye, agar woh kitchen meiN zyada Tehelna shru ho gaye to phir choolhe ki tarah tapish ugalne lageNge.

ahl-e-chaman ki shaan-e-nazaakat hai kia nabeel
"uRti hai gul ki neend naseem-e-bahaar se "

Waah waah aap tazmeen k ashaar hamesha hi bohot Khoob likhte heN. Go k aadha credit to misra-e-tarah ke khaaliq ko jana chahye, lekin jaane kya baat hay k har baar aisa lagta hay k is misre ke sath misra joR kar aap ne isey Khoobsoorat bana dia hay.
Kafi tareef ho gayi, nahiN??? ya ab ye bhi kahooN k ghazal bohot pasand aayi? Chaliye keh hi deti huN, akhir murawwat bhi koi cheez hay na.

Seriously, no jokes. You always write very well.

[Ibn-e-siddique]

Adaab, Amjad Sahib!

va'aadaab Anmol saHiba :)

Raste bhi sanwar jayeNge, inshaAllah. Matla bohot pasand aaya.

pasandeedgi ke liye shukria :)

Well said. Very nice sher. ChaleN koi to mera hum'khyaal shaks mila jise meri tarah intezaar pasand nahiN. Jaane kaun log hote heN jo kehte heN k intizaar meiN maza hay. Hum to kehte heN, intizaar jaan'leva hay.

jee jee bilkul intizaar to bahot takleef deh hota hai, ab dekhiye na mujhe apni salary ka poore maheene intizaar karna paRta hai :x , tab jaa ker kahin milti hai

mazaaq bar.taraf she'r ko pasand farmaane ke liye bahot bahot shukria

Naqeeb means what? Something like naqaab? :? Aur wese mujhe ye sher samajh nahiN aaya. Bhala yaar se zyada khyaal-e-yaar ghaneemat kyooN lagta hay aap ko?

naqeed ke maa'ni haiN, khabar dene vaala, ya pata dene vaala. visaal se ishq ki manzil ka ta'iyyun hota hai, aisa mera khayaal hai jise maine she'r mein baandha , aur meHboob ka khayaal meHboob se zyaada acha hota hai, kyunke khayaal meiN meHboob jhagRaa nahin karta, gila shikva nahin karta , naak mein dam nahin karta ;)

Hmm i remember, is sher ki asl soorat ye thi,

Kuch aashiqi ne bhi hameN ruswa kia bohot
Aur dukh bhi bohot mile heN Ghum-e-rozgaar se

I wonder why u changed it? I liked the old one. May be your new version's 2nd misra is not that clear.

dar.asl pehle yehi she'r tha jo aap ne quote kia, magar phir maine socha ke gham-e-rozgaar bhi gham hai, aur dukh bhi gham ko hi kehte hain, to gham se gham milna kia baat hui ? is liye khud hi doosri soorat likh di. agar aap ko pehli soorat zyaada pasand hai to use hi rehne deta hoon.

Waah waah, "dil-e-jageerdaar" ki tarkeeb bohot khoob lagi. 8)

jee bahot shukria,

Bohot khoob. Aap ko goonge dost banane chahye they na.

Takraar-e-lafzi se sher ka lutf dobala ho gaya.

goonge be.shak na hoN, magar zabaan bhi to bahot zyaada na chalaaiN na ;), vaise Allah ka shukr hai ke mere dost aise nahiN haiN, ye to aik kaifiyat hai jise bayaan kia hai.

Oho kaun log heN woh? zara hum bhi to suneN.

ye she'r hamaari bazm-e-urdu qatar choRne vaalon ke liye kahaa hai :P

So sad.

Lekin ab naya pairhan silwa lijiye, rasm-e-dunya bhi hay, moqa bhi hay aur , dastoor bhi hay.

jee jee zaroor inshallah

HeN? Zyada sawaal jawab na kijiye, phooloN k sath kaaNte bhi to hote heN, kahiN kuch der meiN un k jhaRne ki baari na aa jaye. Wese aap un k Tehelne ki adat kum karwayye, agar woh kitchen meiN zyada Tehelna shru ho gaye to phir choolhe ki tarah tapish ugalne lageNge.

kitchen mein be.shak Tehel lia kareN, atleast khaana banaane se meri jaan to chooT jaaye gi , vaise bhi mujhe cooking aati hi kahaaN hai

Waah waah aap tazmeen k ashaar hamesha hi bohot Khoob likhte heN. Go k aadha credit to misra-e-tarah ke khaaliq ko jana chahye, lekin jaane kya baat hay k har baar aisa lagta hay k is misre ke sath misra joR kar aap ne isey Khoobsoorat bana dia hay.
Kafi tareef ho gayi, nahiN??? ya ab ye bhi kahooN k ghazal bohot pasand aayi? Chaliye keh hi deti huN, akhir murawwat bhi koi cheez hay na.
Seriously, no jokes. You always write very well.

tazmeen ke she'r ko pasand farmaane ke liye bahot bahot shukria. aur us se bhi zyaada shukria is qadar khoobsurat aur pur.lutf tabsira karne ke liye jis ne hameN bahot meHzooz kia :)

aap ka bahot bahot shukria, sadaa khush raheN

amjad

[Ibn-e-siddique]

sara saHiba

salaam arz hai

aap ne jis taraH her she'r ko daad-o-teHseen se navaaza hai, maiN aap ka bahot bahot mamnoon hooN

ghazal ko pasand farmaane ke liye bahot bahot shukria

sadaa khush raheN :)

amjad

[naheedv]

Assalam-o-alaikum

kuch arsa qabl Josh Malihabadi saHib ki zameen meiN aik ghazal likhi thi, aap sab ki aala basaaratoN aur intiqaad-o-aiHtisaab ki nazr kar rahaa hooN :

rastay jo munsalik the mire koo-e-yaar se
ab tak aTey hue haiN voh dil ke ghubaar se

maaloom ye hua hai mujhe hijr-e-yaar se
koi sazaa nahiN haiN baRee intizaar se

maana visaal shauq ki manzil ka hai naqeeb
phir bhi khayaal-e-yaar ghaneemat hai yaar se

andoh-e-aashiqee ne bahot kuch dia hameN
kuch kam nahiN milaa hai gham-e-rozgaar se

kis kis ko le rahaa hai ye apni panaah mein
pooche to koi is dil-e-jaageer daar se

kuch dostoN ko taaqat-e-goyaaee kia milii
dil daagh daagh kar gaye lafzoN ke vaar se

kuch log jab gaye miree mehfil ko choR ker
mujh ko lagaa ke patte gire shaakhsaar se

is aashiqee mein Haal miraa ye hua ke log
pehchaante haiN pairahan-e-taar taar se

kyuN guftgoo se aaj bahot jhaR rahe haiN phool
shaayad Tehel ke aaye haiN voh laala zaar se

ahl-e-chaman ki shaan-e-nazaakat hai kia nabeel
"uRti hai gul ki neend naseem-e-bahaar se "

shukria

Amjad

salaam janaab Amjad saahab,

aik taveel arse ke ba'd aap kee takhliq ko paRhne kaa moqa' milaa hai aur yaqeen kijiye ke be.had khushee huyee.
mashaa'allah aap ne tau kamaal kar dikhaayaa hai
daad qubool kijiye!

2nd she'r ke 2nd misre' meN shaayad aap se typo ho gayee hai aur aap ne "hai ko haiN" type kar diyaa hai, ise daikh lijiye!

mukhliS
Naheed

[Ibn-e-siddique]

Naheed saHiba

salaam arz hai

ghazal ko is qadar pasand farmaane ke liye bahot bahot shukria.

aur typo ki nishaandahi ke liye bhi. maine tas'HeeH kar li hai

shukria

Amjad