tarHi ghazal guz. no. 13 yeh ada bhi us ki ik qatil

[khozema husaini]

Haazreen e mehfil
assalam o alaikum
guz. no 13 ke misre per apni adna si koshish ke saath Hazir hua hoon aur ummeed karta hoon aap sabhi Khwateen o Hazraat apni aara senawaaz kar mujhe shukriyah ada karne ka moqa denge
Husain




Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Ghazal

1 yeh ada bhi uski ik qaatil ada ban jaye hai
dekh kar jab aaeene men Aks who sharmaye hai

2 qalb e deedawar pe koii taiGH si chal jaye hai
naaz se jab who chale hai aur kamar bal khaye hai

3 sun ke roodaad e mohabbat dil bohat lalchaye hai
aashna e ishq jab ho jaye hai pachhtaye hai

4 KHuwahishoN ko jama e ummeed kiyun pehnaye hai
waada e farda kare hai , kiya kabhi kal aaye hai?

5 ho gaeeN beKHwaab aaNkheN luT gaya kaif o qaraar
haye kiya kahiye keh dil ke saath kiya kiyaa jaye hai ?

6 soz e dil men kiyuN miri , aaKhir kami aati nahiN ?
chashm e giryaaN aab e baaraaN raat din barsaye hai

Husaini khandwi

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Khozema Husaini SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal paRhkar bahut khushi houi ke aapkaa andaaz-e-sukhan bahut hi dilkash hei.

1 yeh ada bhi uski ik qaatil ada ban jaye hai
dekh kar jab aaeene men Aks who sharmaye hai

Achchaa MaTlaA hei, waah waah.

2 qalb e deedawar pe koii taiGH si chal jaye hai
naaz se jab who chale hai aur kamar bal khaye hai

achchaa sheAr hei.

3 qiSSa e rangeeni e ulfat se dil lalchaye hai
aashna e ishq jab ho jaye hai pachhtaye hai

yahaN pahle miSreA meiN aap ne kahaa hei "qiSSa-e-rangeeniy-e-ulfat se dil lalchaaye hei" aur aap iske maAni yeh lenaa chaahte heiN "rangeeni-e-ulfat kaa qiSSah "sunkar" dil lalchaaye hei. Iski vajah se thouRaa saa ibhaam paidaa hourahaa hei.
Pahlaa miSraA yooN housaktaa thaa "sunke roodad-e-muHabbat dil bahut lalchaaye hei". Aap bhi ghaur keejiye ke pahle miSreA kii behtar Soorat kyaa housakti hei.

4 KHuwahishoN ko jama e ummeed kiyun pehnaye hai
waada e farda kare hai , kiya kabhi kal aaye hai?

SheAr kaa mafhoom zaahir hei

5 kiya yeh furqat ka acar hai ya keh shoreedah sari ?
aab Khaiz e behr kiyuN saaHil se sar Takraye hai ?

Is sheAr meiN alfaaz to achche isteAmaal houe heiN lekin mafhoom ki koii vaaZeH Soorat nahiN paidaa hourahi hei. Aab-khaiz-e-beHr kaa saaHil se sar Takraana, furqat ke acar yaa shoreedah sari se kyaa taAalluq housaktaa hei. Is liye aapko chaahiye ke is sheAr ki nacr likhkar us per ghaur kareN ke kyaa aap jo kehnaa chaahte heiN uski koii vaaZeH Soorat ikhtiyaar kii jaasakti hei.

6 ho gaeeN beKHwaab aaN kheN luT gaya kaif o qaraar
"haye kiya kahiye keh dil ke saath kiya kiyaa jaye hai ?"

Gireh kaa miSraA bahut munaasib aur qaabil-e-daad hei. Bahut khoob.

7 soz e dil men kiyuN miri , aaKhir kami aati nahiN ?
chashm e giryah aab e baaraaN raat din barsaye hai

Doosre miSreA meiN "chashm e giryah" ko (chashm-e-giryaaN) banaadeejiye. SheAr bahut hi achcha hei.

8 rehta hai qaaem Husaini feAl ka Husn o jmaal
Jism ki ronaq ka kiya hai jald hii Dhal jaye hai

MaqTaA mafhoom ke liHaaz se Theek hei lekin pahle lafz "rehtaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane ke javaaz ke baavajood Sauti iAtibaar se kamzour maAloom hourahaa hei. "feAl kaa Husn o jamaal" kii bajaaye koii doosri ibaarat isteAmaal keejie jaise "insaan kaa Husn-e-Amal". Mujhe maAloom hei ke sheAr meiN her baat kaa khayaal rakhnaa mushkil houtaa hei lekin taz'een-e-fikr kii koushish kii jaani chaahiye.

Aakhir meiN, aapki is kaamyaab TaraHik ghazal per aapko dobaarah dili daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[khozema husaini]

mohtarmah sara sahebah
aadaab
ghazal ki pasandeedgi ka bohat bohat shukriyah
Husaini

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Khozaima saaHib,

aapkii Ghazal nazar nawaaz huii aur yaqeenan bahot hii umda Ghazal kahii hai aapne. moHtaram Naazir saaHib ke tabsire ke ba'd aur aapkii tasHeeH kar lene ke ba'd kuchh bachtaa haii nahiiN kahne ko sivaaye daad o taHseen dene ke. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal par merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarakbaad qubool kijiiye. yeh ash'aar mujhe ziyada pasand aaye go ki sabhii ash'aar me'yaarii aur baland Khayaal haiN.

yeh ada bhi uski ik qaatil ada ban jaye hai
dekh kar jab aaeene men Aks who sharmaye hai

qalb e deedawar pe koii taiGH si chal jaye hai
naaz se jab who chale hai aur kamar bal khaye hai

sun ke roodaad e mohabbat dil bohat lalchaye hai
aashna e ishq jab ho jaye hai pachhtaye hai

ho gaeeN beKHwaab aaNkheN luT gaya kaif o qaraar
haye kiya kahiye keh dil ke saath kiya kiyaa jaye hai ?

soz e dil men kiyuN miri , aaKhir kami aati nahiN ?
chashm e giryaaN aab e baaraaN raat din barsaye hai

[khozema husaini]

mohtaram hashmat usmani saheb
aadaab
ghazal ki pasandeedgi ka bohat bohat shukriyah
Husaini