koyii shaam ghar bhi rahaa karo... taraHee Ghazal

[Raji]

Azeezan-e-bazm:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

bohat arSe ba'ad is bazm meN apnii koyii taKhleeq pesh kar rahii hooN is yaqeen ke saath ke shayed aap apnii aaraa aur rehnumayii se navaaz deN. .

mamnoon-o-talib-e-dua
Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal mujhe nazar nahiN aarahi hei is liye us per kuch tabSirah karnaa naamumkin hei. Urdu kii image banaane ke b'ad jab Photobucket, aur Shack waghairah ke tavassujt se uski link dii jaay tou hum us picture file ko nahiN dekhsakte kiyunke yeh companies Saudi-Arabia meiN blocked heiN.

Iska aek Hal yeh bhi housaktaa hei ke aap apnaa kalaam roman meiN bhi likhdiyaa kareN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:

Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

aap ne meree taKhleeq par nigaah kee yeh dekh kar be-Had Khushii hoovii.

maiN ne file size ke baRe hone ke pesh-e-nazar ise image hosting site par upload kiyaa thaa lekin yeh baat mere bhi dekhne meN aayii hai keh un sites par uploaded images ke links nah dikhne kee bohat se logoN ne shikayaat kee hai jo aap kee vazahat ke baad ab samajh aayii hai.

maiN ne post edit kar ke use isee post ke saat attach kar diyaa hai jo Khush-naSeebii se ho gayii hai.

yahaN par iskaa roman version bhi post kar rahii hooN.
umeed hai keh aap kee rehnumayii mujhe zaroor mile gee.

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua

Zahida Raees :Raji:

Ghazal:
~~~~~
chaahe do ghaRee hee Khushii mile, gham-e-dil ko dil se rehaa karo
yeh heN chand lamHay Hayaat ke, inheN be-sabab nah buraa karo

nah kisee se dekho gilaah karo, nah kisee se Khud ko Khafa karo
yahaN chand pal ka qayaam hai, yahaN aaKhirat kee baqaa karo

nah wafaa karo, nah jafaa karo, sadaa aagayii se bachaa karo
yeh moHabbateN bhi fareb heN, sadaa door in se rahaa karo


nah kisee se dekho buraa karo, jo karo to sab se bhalaa karo,
tumheN raas aayeNgii nekiyaaN, koyii kaam naam-e-Khuda karo


yeh jo zindagi kee bisaat' hai, ise maut se hee to maat hai,
bhala mar ke kiskee baqaa hoovii, ise jeete jee nah fanaa karo

yeh jo Khwaab raah-guzaar heN, yahaN weHshateN bhi hazaar heN
yahaN har ghaRee meN hai feSlaah, yahaN hoSle se chalaa karo


yeh nagar nagar, yeh galii galii, kahaN tum se hoNge yeh aashinaa
youNhii besabab nah phiraa karo, koyii shaam ghar bhi rahaa karo****

nah KhamoshiyoN kaa sabab koyii, to sukoot kiyoN rahe darmiyaaN?
kabhi apnii baateN kahaa karo, kabhi meree baateN sunaa karo


meree weHshatooN ke junoon meN, teraa aks Khwaab-o-Khayaal hai
koyii raastah bhi nah paaho ge, mere sang tum nah chalaa karo

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki yeh TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

chaahe do ghaRee hee Khushii mile, gham-e-dil ko dil se rehaa karo
yeh heN chand lamHay Hayaat ke, inheN be-sabab nah buraa karo

Pahle miSreA meiN Lafz "chaahe" kii alif ko giraakar "ch'he" paRhne kii Zaroorat pesh aarahi hei aur usi lafz kii "ye" ko bhii giraayaa jaarahaa hei. Nateejeh ke Taur per lafz ki Sauti Haalat bilkul badal jaarahi hei. Is miSreA ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
(mile do ghaRi ki khushi agar, gham-e-dil ko dil se rihaa karo)
maAnavi liHaaz se bahut achchaa sheAr hei. Waah waah.

nah kisee se dekho gilaah karo, nah kisee se Khud ko Khafa karo
yahaN chand pal ka qayaam hai, yahaN aaKhirat kee baqaa karo

Yeh maTlaA bhi jis Had tak maiN samajh paayaa hooN bahut khoob hei, waah waah.

nah wafaa karo, nah jafaa karo, sadaa aagayii se bachaa karo
yeh moHabbateN bhi fareb heN, sadaa door in se rahaa karo

Shayad pahle miSreA meiN lafz "aagahi" jo TibaaAt kii ghalaTi ki vajah se "aagayi" hougayaa hei. Yeh maTlaA bhii bahut hi achchaa hei lekin is meiN yaas o naumeedagi kooT kooTkar bhari houi hei. Dunyaa meiN rehte houe ham dunyaa se alag nahiN reh sakte. Ye sach hei ke baAZ Haalaat insaan per acar andaaz houkar usko majboor kardeti heiN ke wo naaummeed houjaaye. Phir bhi aek Had tak hans boul kar jeene meiN hii bhalaayi hei.

nah kisee se dekho buraa karo, jo karo to sab se bhalaa karo,
tumheN raas aayeNgii nekiyaaN, koyii kaam naam-e-Khuda karo

Pahle miSreA ko yooN kardeejiye tou behtar houjaayegaa:
(nah kisi ke saath buraa karo, nah kisi ko khud se khafaa karo)
aur doosre miSreA ko yooN kardeejiye:
(tumheN raas aayengi nekiyaaN, koyii kaam behr-e-khudaa karo)
bahr-e-khudaa = khudaa ke liye.
Note: aapka meri raaye se muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei. Aap meri her baat ko rad kardene kaa Haq rakhti heiN.

yeh jo zindagi kee bisaat' hai, ise maut se hee to maat hai,
bhala mar ke kiskee baqaa hoovii, ise jeete jee nah fanaa karo

Bahut khoob, waah waah.

yeh jo Khwaab raah-guzaar heN, yahaN weHshateN bhi hazaar heN
yahaN har ghaRee meN hai feSlaah, yahaN hoSle se chalaa karo

Pahle miSreA meiN "khwaab raahguzaar heiN" se mafhoom adaa nahiN hourahaa hei. Is liye aap is miSreA ko yooN karsakti heiN:
(jo nazar meiN raahguzaar heiN, wahaaN weHshateN bhi hazaar heiN)
aur doosre miSreA ko yooN kardeejiye:
(jahaaN her qadam nayaa faiSlah, wahaaN HauSleh se chalaa karo)

Mafhoom ke liHaaz se sheAr bahut achchaa hei. Waah Waah.

yeh nagar nagar, yeh galii galii, kahaN tum se hoNge yeh aashinaa
youNhii besabab nah phiraa karo, koyii shaam ghar bhi rahaa karo****

Lafz "yeh" kii takraar ke baavajood , achchi gireh hei. Bahut khoob.

nah KhamoshiyoN kaa sabab koyii, to sukoot kiyoN rahe darmiyaaN?
kabhi apnii baateN kahaa karo, kabhi meree baateN sunaa karo

"nah khamaousiyoN kaa sabab koii" kii ibaarat mei do lafzaoN "agar" aur "ho" ki kami meHsoos hourahi hei lekin sukhan fehme is ibaarat se yeh muraad le sakte heiN = agar khamoushiyaoN kaa koi sabab nah hou"..
SheAr bahut achchaa hei waah waah.

meree weHshatooN ke junoon meN, teraa aks Khwaab-o-Khayaal hai
koyii raastah bhi nah paao ge, mere sang tum nah chalaa karo

is sheAr meiN shuTr gurbah hei yani pahle miSreA meiN tiraa kee munaasibat se doosre miSreA meiN "rahaa karo" nahiN aasaktaa. Is liye mere khayaal meiN pahle miSreA ko yooN kehnaa behtar hougaa:
(miri weHshataoN ke jujnoon meiN, bhalaa kaun hei miraa hamsafar)

Aakhir meiN phir aek baar kahungaa ke aapko meri her baat ko rad kardene kaa Haq hei.
Dobaarah, is kaamyaab koushish per meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

dil kee ghehrahiyoN se aap kee mamnoon hooN keh meree is koshish, jis se keh maiN Khud hee mutmaheen naheeN thee ko aap ne itnee tavajue se dekhaa aur apnee besh-qeemat, muKhliSana rehnumayii se navaaza.

mujhe aap kee aara se mukammal taur par ittifaaq hai. aur Khushii bhi hai ke jis taraH se maiN is Ghazal ko dekhnaa chah rahii thee ab aap kee rehnumahii ke ba'ad is kee Halaat Hasb-e-Khwahish hee hoovii hai.

aap kee daad aur renumahii ke liye ek baar phir dil kee gherahiyoN se shukriyah adaa karnaa chahatee hooN.
is yaqeen ke saath keh yeh silsilah aahindah bhi jaaree rahe gaa.


mamnoon-o-talib-e-dua

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Raji]

Ghazal:
~~~~

Final Version:

mile do ghaRi ki khushi agar, gham-e-dil ko dil se rihaa karo
yeh heN chand lamHay Hayaat ke, inheN be-sabab nah buraa karo

nah kisee se dekho gilaah karo, nah kisee se Khud ko Khafa karo
yahaN chand pal ka qayaam hai, yahaN aaKhirat kee baqaa karo

nah wafaa karo, nah jafaa karo, sadaa aagahii se bachaa karo
yeh moHabbateN bhi fareb heN, sadaa door in se rahaa karo

nah kisi se dekho buraa karo, nah kisi ko khud se khafaa karo
tumheN raas aayengi nekiyaaN, koyii kaam behr-e-khudaa karo

yeh jo zindagi kee bisaat' hai, ise maut se hee to maat hai,
bhala mar ke kiskee baqaa hoovii, ise jeete jee nah fanaa karo

jo nazar meiN raahguzaar heiN, wahaaN weHshateN bhi hazaar heiN
jahaaN her qadam nayaa faiSlah, wahaaN HauSleh se chalaa karo


yeh nagar nagar, yeh galii galii, kahaN tum se hoNge yeh aashinaa
youNhii besabab nah phiraa karo, koyii shaam ghar bhi rahaa karo****

nah KhamoshiyoN kaa sabab koyii, to sukoot kiyoN rahe darmiyaaN?
kabhi apnii baateN kahaa karo, kabhi meree baateN sunaa karo

miri weHshataoN ke jujnoon meiN, bhalaa kaun hei miraa hamsafar
koyii raastah bhi nah paao ge, mere sang tum nah chalaa karo

(Zahida Raees :Raji:)