kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Raji
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kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN

Post by Raji »

SuKhanwaraan-e-Mehfil,
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

apnii ek aur adnaa see koshish ke saath HaaZir hoovii hooN.
apnee aaraa aur rehnumYii se zaroor navaaziye gaa. bohat shukrguzar hooNgii.

dua'a go wa taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:






kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN
likh~e jo lafz kabhi zindagi ke lehje meN

ajeeb farq thaa pahele, abhi ke lehje meN
udaas lafz thay ab zindagi ke lehje meN

q:

yeh meree zid bhi ajab thee, keh zindagi ban kar
Khushii kaa rang bharooN, zindagi ke lehje meN

miTaa dooN teergii atraaf kee fiZ^aooN se
hawaa se baat karooN roushinii ke lehje meN

-----

jab e'itbaar bhi rishtooN se uTh~ gayaa meraa
yaqeeN ka aks milaa, bebasee ke lehje meN


voh jaanne kee bhi ab justujuu naheeN karte
milaa hai dard jinheN, "aagaYii" ke lehje meN


moHabbatooN se jo seraab kar gayaa sab ko
ajeeb payaas thee akcar usee ke lehje meN

q:

najaane kis liye ham chonkte rahe akcar
milaa jo rang tumhaaraa kisee ke lehje meN

samaa'atooN meN jo meHfooZ ho gayaa :Raji:
koYii tu baat thee us meN, usee ke lehje meN

(Zahida Raees :Raji: )
Last edited by Raji on Tue Aug 01, 2006 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Meree sha'iree se mujhe jaan Lo
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
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Abdullah Nazir
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Bahut khoob

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o azeezi
Raji SaaHibah,

Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal Aam Taur per pasand aayi jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

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Ibn-e-siddique
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Post by Ibn-e-siddique »

zahida behen

salaam arz hai

ghazal ki zameen bahot umda hai, aur aap ki kaawish bhi laaiq-e-teHseen hai. is liye meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai.

bas itni si guzaarish hai ke aap ke is she'r meiN shutur gurbah hai :

hamaree zid bhi ajab thee, keh zindagi ban kar
Khushii kaa rang bharooN, zindagi ke lehje meN

is she'r per Naheed saHiba mehfil-e-sukhan meiN tajveez de chuki haiN jo ke bahot munaasib hai

isi taraH apna kalaam hameN sunaati raheN

shukria :)

amjad
Mire ash'aar ae Iqbal kyuN pyaare na hoN mujhko
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
jawaid badauni
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Re: kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN

Post by jawaid badauni »

Raji wrote:SuKhanwaraan-e-Mehfil,
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

apnii ek aur adnaa see koshish ke saath HaaZir hoovii hooN.
apnee aaraa aur rehnumYii se zaroor navaaziye gaa. bohat shukrguzar hooNgii.

dua'a go wa taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:




Ghazal:
~~~~~~

kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN
likh~e jo lafz kabhi zindagi ke lehje meN

ajeeb farq thaa pahele, abhi ke lehje meN
udaas lafz thay ab zindagi ke lehje meN

q:

hamaree zid bhi ajab thee, keh zindagi ban kar
Khushii kaa rang bharooN, zindagi ke lehje meN

miTaa ke teergii sab be-mehr fiZ^aahooN kee
hawaa se baat karooN roushinii ke lehje meN

-----

jab e'itbaar bhi rishtooN se uTh~ gayaa meraa
yaqeeN ka aks milaa, bebasee ke lehje meN


voh jaanne kee bhi ab justujuu naheeN karte
milaa hai dard jinheN, "aagaYii" ke lehje meN


moHabbatooN se jo seraab kar gayaa sab ko
ajeeb payaas thee akcar usee ke lehje meN

q:

najaane kis liye ham chonkte rahe akcar
milaa jo rang tumhaaraa kisee ke lehje meN

samaa'atooN meN jo meHfooZ ho gayaa :Raji:
koYii tu baat thee us meN, usee ke lehje meN

(Zahida Raees :Raji: )

Mohtarma Raji SaHibah
Tasleemaat

Bohat Haseen Gazal se nawazah hai aap ne. Zindabad. Itni dushwaar radeef meN sher kahna aasaan nahiN hota.

Sirf ek nuktey per tawajjo ka talib hooN. Shayad chaythey sher per aap ko nazar.e caani karna hogee. JahaN tak mujhe ilm hai Mehr ka wazn FEL hai MAFA nahiN. Zara dekh lijiyega. Agar bemehr ki jagah befawa kar leN to yeh masAla hi Hal ho jayega. KyooN keh bewafa lafz ka wazn wohee hai jo is miSrey meN aap ko darkaar hai. Mera mashwarah Galat bhi ho sakta hai. Is se aap ka mutaafiq hona laazim nahiN.

KhulooSkaar,
Jawaid
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Atiq-ur-Rehman Saffy
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Post by Atiq-ur-Rehman Saffy »

wah wah zahida sahiba bohot khoob
Atiq-ur-Rehmann saffy
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Re: kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN

Post by Raji »

jawaid badauni wrote:
Raji wrote:SuKhanwaraan-e-Mehfil,
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

apnii ek aur adnaa see koshish ke saath HaaZir hoovii hooN.
apnee aaraa aur rehnumYii se zaroor navaaziye gaa. bohat shukrguzar hooNgii.

dua'a go wa taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:




Ghazal:
~~~~~~

kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN
likh~e jo lafz kabhi zindagi ke lehje meN

ajeeb farq thaa pahele, abhi ke lehje meN
udaas lafz thay ab zindagi ke lehje meN

q:

hamaree zid bhi ajab thee, keh zindagi ban kar
Khushii kaa rang bharooN, zindagi ke lehje meN

miTaa ke teergii sab be-mehr fiZ^aahooN kee
hawaa se baat karooN roushinii ke lehje meN

-----

jab e'itbaar bhi rishtooN se uTh~ gayaa meraa
yaqeeN ka aks milaa, bebasee ke lehje meN


voh jaanne kee bhi ab justujuu naheeN karte
milaa hai dard jinheN, "aagaYii" ke lehje meN


moHabbatooN se jo seraab kar gayaa sab ko
ajeeb payaas thee akcar usee ke lehje meN

q:

najaane kis liye ham chonkte rahe akcar
milaa jo rang tumhaaraa kisee ke lehje meN

samaa'atooN meN jo meHfooZ ho gayaa :Raji:
koYii tu baat thee us meN, usee ke lehje meN

(Zahida Raees :Raji: )

Mohtarma Raji SaHibah
Tasleemaat

Bohat Haseen Gazal se nawazah hai aap ne. Zindabad. Itni dushwaar radeef meN sher kahna aasaan nahiN hota.

Sirf ek nuktey per tawajjo ka talib hooN. Shayad chaythey sher per aap ko nazar.e caani karna hogee. JahaN tak mujhe ilm hai Mehr ka wazn FEL hai MAFA nahiN. Zara dekh lijiyega. Agar bemehr ki jagah befawa kar leN to yeh masAla hi Hal ho jayega. KyooN keh bewafa lafz ka wazn wohee hai jo is miSrey meN aap ko darkaar hai. Mera mashwarah Galat bhi ho sakta hai. Is se aap ka mutaafiq hona laazim nahiN.

KhulooSkaar,
Jawaid


moHtaram janab-e Jawaid Badauni SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

Ghazal par aap kii aaraa dekh kar Khushii hoovii.
aap ne bilkul durust nukte kee jaanib rehnumayii kee hai. maiN ne mazkoorah miSrah ko hee tabdeel kar diyaa hai. umeed kartee hooN keh ab is meN vazan ka mas,halah naheeN hai.

miTaa dooN teergii atraaf kee fiZ^aahooN se
hawaa se baat karooN roushinii ke lehje meN


Ghazal kee pasandeedgi aur rehnumayii ke liye dil kee gehrahiyoN se aap kii shukrguzaar hooN.
umeed kartee hooN keh yeh silsilah aahindah bhi jaaree rahe gaa.

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:
Meree sha'iree se mujhe jaan Lo
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
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Post by riaz ahmed saraa »

Mohtarama Raji sahiba

aap ka kalaam pasand aayaa

daad qubool kiji'ae

Riaz
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Re: Bahut khoob

Post by Raji »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami o azeezi
Raji SaaHibah,

Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal Aam Taur per pasand aayi jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.




moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:

Adaab-o-tasleemaat,

aap ko meree Ghazal Aam taur par pasand aaYii yeh jaan kar Khushii hoovii. :-) weise kyaa hee achaa hotaa keh aap ispar tanqeedii jaahizah bhi lete aur is meN maujood kamiyoyN yaa KhamiyoN par rehnumayii bhi farmaate taa keh kam az kam iz meHfil meN post karne kee vajah hee poorii ho jaatee.

ho sakta hai keh aap ne apne maSroofiyat kee ziyadtee aur waqt kee kamii ke sabab aisaa kiyaa ho.

bahaHaaal aap kee aaraa ke liye bohat mamnoon hooN.

Umeed kartee hooN keh yeh silsilah aahindah bhi jaaree rahe gaa,

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:
Meree sha'iree se mujhe jaan Lo
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
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yasir shah
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Re: kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN

Post by yasir shah »

Raji wrote:SuKhanwaraan-e-Mehfil,
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

apnii ek aur adnaa see koshish ke saath HaaZir hoovii hooN.
apnee aaraa aur rehnumYii se zaroor navaaziye gaa. bohat shukrguzar hooNgii.

dua'a go wa taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:


behen Raji
assalamOlai'kuM

aap ki Ghazal peh apnaa aik Haqeer saa tabSirah paish kartaa hooN, shaayed mufeed caabit ho-






kamaal kaa thaa acar shaa'iree ke lehje meN
likh~e jo lafz kabhi zindagi ke lehje meN

she'r khoob hay



ajeeb farq thaa pahele, abhi ke lehje meN
udaas lafz thay ab zindagi ke lehje meN

"pehle abhee" ke darmiyaan Sirf "coma" naa.kaafee hay,,baat naheeN ban rahee-she'r meN tarmeem naaguzeer hay-


q:

yeh meree zid bhi ajab thee, keh zindagi ban kar
Khushii kaa rang bharooN, zindagi ke lehje meN

yakay ba'd deegray zindagee kaa bator qaafiyah teesree baar isti'maal bhalaa meHsoos naheeN ho rahaa ,,aakhir aik gannay se kab tak ras niklay gaa :lol:


miTaa dooN teergii atraaf kee fiZ^aooN se
hawaa se baat karooN roushinii ke lehje meN

pehlaa miSra' Gher.FaSeeH hay,, qite' kaa mazmoon aChChaa hay magar bayaaniyah tabdeel keejiye -

-----

jab e'itbaar bhi rishtooN se uTh~ gayaa meraa
yaqeeN ka aks milaa, bebasee ke lehje meN

"a'ks kaa lehje meN milnaa" naa.mumkin hay keh aik kaa ta.a'lluq Hiss-e-biSaarat se hay aur doosre kaa quvvat-e-goyaa.ee se,,farZ kartay heN keh yeh aap ki shaai'raanah ta.a'llee hay to bhi maZmoon sar par se guzar rahaa hay ,,ummeed hay aap madad kareN gee-






voh jaanne kee bhi ab justujuu naheeN karte
milaa hai dard jinheN, "aagaYii" ke lehje meN

behen !yeh "aagahee" hay ,,she'r bahut u'mdah hay baaqee Ghazal bhi agar jaandaar hotee to isay jaan-e-Ghazal kehtaa-

bahut see daa qubool keejiye-




moHabbatooN se jo seraab kar gayaa sab ko
ajeeb payaas thee akcar usee ke lehje meN

bahut khoob ,,kyaa kehne
"pyaas" kaa yeh wazn kabhee meree nazar se naheeN guzraa lekiN "pyaar " ke wazn se qiyaas kyaa jaa saktaa hay ,,naheeN to yooN kahye

baRee pyaas thee akcar usee ke lehje meN



q:

najaane kis liye ham chonkte rahe akcar
milaa jo rang tumhaaraa kisee ke lehje meN

pehle miSre' ko yooN keh kar deKhiye:
woh choNk jaanaa miraa be.sabab nah thaa hargiz



samaa'atooN meN jo meHfooZ ho gayaa :Raji:
koYii tu baat thee us meN, usee ke lehje meN


qita' bahut khoob hay -daad qubool keejiye-






(Zahida Raees :Raji: )
[/color]
behen !

zameen Ghazal ki bahut sakht thee ,,sakhtee meN ziyaadah haath radeef kaa thaa ,,aap ne zameen ko nibhaane ki bahut koshish kee laiken Ghazal apnaa tawaazun barqaraar nah raKh sakee,, yooN keh aap ke kuCh She'r bahut aChChay heN aur kuCh she'riyat se khaalee ,,laiken ab bhi aap is meN kuch tabdeeliyaaN kar ke isay aik shaandaar takhleeq meN tabdeel kar saktee heN-

faiSlah aap ke haath meN hay 8)

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
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