Ghazal _ Zindagi ki inteha

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:46 pm

Assalam o alaekum

is bazm kay dostoN ki khidmet maiN pehli haziri per aik ghazal pesh kerta huN.

umeed hay aap apnay khayalat say zarur nawazaiN gay

wassalam
Sohail Malik

Post by **yasir shah** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:53 am

Sohail Malik saaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

aap kaa maHfil meN khair maqdam kartaa huve ummeed raKhtaa hooN keh ab aap aatay raheN gay -Ghazal Roman meN bhi paish kar dete to tabSirah karnaa aasaan ho jaataa ,,khair, ab yooN hi sahee:

1-pahlay miSre' meN "nah" ki aawaaz ko KheNchnaa durust naheeN aur Phir yeh maqaam bhi "naheeN " kaa hay -miSra' durustee chaahataa hay ,,aik Soorat daiKh leejiye:

"intihaa-e-zeest kab hay zindagee ke haath meN "

"kab" ki takraar ke siwaa charah naheeN

2-khoob hay ,, "ik ajnabee" ko "hay ajnabee" se badal deN

3-yahaaN bhi aap ne "nah" kaa Ghair.mozooN isti'maal kiyaa hay neez miSra' bhi Ghair waaZeh hay ,she'r yooN bhi badlaa jaa saktaa hay :

"jab se bai.naam-o-nishaaN honay lagay ham hosh meN
zindagee ki Dor day dee bai.khudee ke haath meN "

4- miSra'-e-caani ko yooN raKh kar "ashk ki zanjeer ho gee zindagee ke haath meN" miSra' oolaa ke liye Phir se tafakkur keejiye

5-"eezaa milnaa kaj rawee ke haath meN" cheh ma'nee ast ?

6-yeh she'r bhi kamzor hay

7-yeh bhi Ghair.waaZeh hay

8-bhaaree murakkab-e-iZaafee ke baawajood takhayyul nazar-e-caanee chaahtaa hay

Malik SaaHib ! mumkin hay meraa yeh tabSirah aap ko giraaN guzray magar kyaa yeh is se ziyaadah mufeed naheeN keh meN "aNdhaa.dhuNd daad " day kar chaltaa banooN -

khudaa karay zor-e-qalam aur ziyaadah-

yasir

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:15 am

yasir shah wrote:Sohail Malik saaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

aap kaa maHfil meN khair maqdam kartaa huve ummeed raKhtaa hooN keh ab aap aatay raheN gay -Ghazal Roman meN bhi paish kar dete to tabSirah karnaa aasaan ho jaataa ,,khair, ab yooN hi sahee:

Aap kay purtapak khair maqdam ka maiN mashkur huN. Koshish keruN ga keh ayeNda roman maiN bhi likha keruN.

yasir shah wrote: 1-pahlay miSre' meN "nah" ki aawaaz ko KheNchnaa durust naheeN aur Phir yeh maqaam bhi "naheeN " kaa hay -miSra' durustee chaahataa hay ,,aik Soorat daiKh leejiye:

"intihaa-e-zeest kab hay zindagee ke haath meN "

"kab" ki takraar ke siwaa charah naheeN

Aap ka aiteraz note ker lia hay dekhiay aur dost is baray maiN kia kehtay haiN.

yasir shah wrote: 2-khoob hay ,, "ik ajnabee" ko "hay ajnabee" se badal deN

Aap ka yeh mashwara ehsan laga hay inshaAllah yuNhi badal duN ga.

yasir shah wrote: 3-yahaaN bhi aap ne "nah" kaa Ghair.mozooN isti'maal kiyaa hay neez miSra' bhi Ghair waaZeh hay ,she'r yooN bhi badlaa jaa saktaa hay :

"jab se bai.naam-o-nishaaN honay lagay ham hosh meN
zindagee ki Dor day dee bai.khudee ke haath meN "

Aap jis andaz maiN termeem tajweez ker rehay haiN us say maani bohat badal jaey ga zera ghour fermaiay

yahan rah e saluk maiN khird ki nakami ko ujager kerna maqsud hay jab keh aap ki mujawizzah tajweez say mafhoom bohat nichli satah per aa jaey ga aur zaat maiN hi ulajh ker reh jaey ga.

yasir shah wrote: 4- miSra'-e-caani ko yooN raKh kar "ashk ki zanjeer ho gee zindagee ke haath meN" miSra' oolaa ke liye Phir se tafakkur keejiye

yahaN phir aap ki mujawizzah tajweez say mafhoom maiN zameen aasman ka ferq ho jaey ga zera ghour fermayiay khayal ko

jis terah peham derd apna ehsaas kho deyta hay issi terah pehm halat e ghulami bhi ehsaasay beybasi ko kaat daiti hay (yahaN kaatnay ka lafz mitanay kay hi maanoN maiN istemaal kia hay laikin chunkeh dusri teraf zanjeer hay is liay is lafz ka istemaal munasib laga).

Zindigi ki jagah ghulami kay saath baybasi hi ziada mozuN hay. kabhi yeh halat kissi ghulami maiN mubtila shakhz say baat ker kay dekhiay.

yasir shah wrote: 5-"eezaa milnaa kaj rawee ke haath meN" cheh ma'nee ast ?

jab koi kaj rawi ikhtiar keray ga to aik viscious cycle shru ho jaey ga equilibrium disturb honay ka aur pehlay woh dusroN kay liay eeza ka baes banay ga phir apnay liay. Chunancheh mashwera dey reha huN keh apnay ikhlaq ko darust ker lain aur is teRh pan ko khatam ker daiN.

kia baat wazeh nahiN hay?

yasir shah wrote: 6-yeh she'r bhi kamzor hay

Kamzor aap kis maani maiN keh rehay haiN agar kuch wazeh ker daitay.

maiN nay to sirf is haqeeqat ka izhar kia hay keh aaj duniya maiN jis jazbay ko ishq ka pakeeza jazbah keh ker zameen aasman kay qalabay milla diay jaatay haiN woh simple plain sexual desire kay siwa kuch nahiN aur Deen ki terminology maiN yehi baat nafs e ammaraH kay zumray maiN aati hay. Chunkeh is term ka istemaal aap naiN murawijah shaeri maiN kabhi dekha nahiN is liay yeh aap ko kuch ajnabi laga ho ga.

yasir shah wrote: 7-yeh bhi Ghair.waaZeh hay

Aik baRi Wazeh aur eham haqeeqat ko bayan kia hay Zera ghiur fermayiyay

an ginnat sajday kis ko millay ...Adam ko jab fariishtoN ko hukam hua
Adam say kia manga gaya ........ bas aik sajida (tauheed)
is sequence maiN adam kay haath kia aya...... khilafat rabbani >>yeni is kainat ka nazm o nasq

kia yeh khayal ab bhi ghair wazeh hay

yasir shah wrote: 8-bhaaree murakkab-e-iZaafee ke baawajood takhayyul nazar-e-caanee chaahtaa hay

ab is kay pas manzer kay liay dobara wahaN jaeyiyay jahaN insaan ko farishtoN kay saamnay pesh kia gaya aur "ilm us asmaa" maiN aadam ki fazeelat batayi.

Ab zara sochiay keh kahaN to insaan ki kasht o khun ki fitrat say farishtay tazabzub maiN thay aur kahaN ilm ul asmaa ki fazeelat dekh ker woh yaksar khamosh ho gaey. yehi woh kaleed e intizam e kehkashan ka falsafa hay jo Adam kay haath maiN hay. Kabhi moqa milaa to is unwan kay teht inshaAllah kuch tafseeli tazkira ho ga kiunkeh yeh un khas nuktoN maiN say hay jinhaiN nazer andaz kernay kay baad hum arsh ki bulandioN say gir ker teh tul sara maiN ja pohanchay haiN.

yasir shah wrote: Malik SaaHib ! mumkin hay meraa yeh tabSirah aap ko giraaN guzray magar kyaa yeh is se ziyaadah mufeed naheeN keh meN "aNdhaa.dhuNd daad " day kar chaltaa banooN -

khudaa karay zor-e-qalam aur ziyaadah-

yasir

Ji aap ka tabsirah ser aankhoN per balkeh yeh to aik terah say acha hi hua keh is waastay pas manzer per roshni daalnay ka moqa mil gaya, aur ghalti kay baray maiN mera concept yehi hay keh yeh insaan ka part and parcel hay. Laikin khubi insaan ki yeh hay keh woh ussay qabul kernay ko tayyar rehay aur jo nishandehi kernay kay ehl millaiN un ki qadr keray.

Chunancheh aap kay mashweroN ka muntazir raha keruN ga

wassalam

Sohail Malik

Post by **yasir shah** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:06 am

Sohail Malik wrote:
yasir shah wrote:Sohail Malik saaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

aap kaa maHfil meN khair maqdam kartaa huve ummeed raKhtaa hooN keh ab aap aatay raheN gay -Ghazal Roman meN bhi paish kar dete to tabSirah karnaa aasaan ho jaataa ,,khair, ab yooN hi sahee:
Aap kay purtapak khair maqdam ka maiN mashkur huN. Koshish keruN ga keh ayeNda roman maiN bhi likha keruN.

yasir shah wrote: 1-pahlay miSre' meN "nah" ki aawaaz ko KheNchnaa durust naheeN aur Phir yeh maqaam bhi "naheeN " kaa hay -miSra' durustee chaahataa hay ,,aik Soorat daiKh leejiye:

"intihaa-e-zeest kab hay zindagee ke haath meN "

"kab" ki takraar ke siwaa charah naheeN
Aap ka aiteraz note ker lia hay dekhiay aur dost is baray maiN kia kehtay haiN.

yasir shah wrote: 2-khoob hay ,, "ik ajnabee" ko "hay ajnabee" se badal deN
Aap ka yeh mashwara ehsan laga hay inshaAllah yuNhi badal duN ga.

yasir shah wrote: 3-yahaaN bhi aap ne "nah" kaa Ghair.mozooN isti'maal kiyaa hay neez miSra' bhi Ghair waaZeh hay ,she'r yooN bhi badlaa jaa saktaa hay :

"jab se bai.naam-o-nishaaN honay lagay ham hosh meN
zindagee ki Dor day dee bai.khudee ke haath meN "
Aap jis andaz maiN termeem tajweez ker rehay haiN us say maani bohat badal jaey ga zera ghour fermaiay

yahan rah e saluk maiN khird ki nakami ko ujager kerna maqsud hay jab keh aap ki mujawizzah tajweez say mafhoom bohat nichli satah per aa jaey ga aur zaat maiN hi ulajh ker reh jaey ga.

yasir shah wrote: 4- miSra'-e-caani ko yooN raKh kar "ashk ki zanjeer ho gee zindagee ke haath meN" miSra' oolaa ke liye Phir se tafakkur keejiye
yahaN phir aap ki mujawizzah tajweez say mafhoom maiN zameen aasman ka ferq ho jaey ga zera ghour fermayiay khayal ko

jis terah peham derd apna ehsaas kho deyta hay issi terah pehm halat e ghulami bhi ehsaasay beybasi ko kaat daiti hay (yahaN kaatnay ka lafz mitanay kay hi maanoN maiN istemaal kia hay laikin chunkeh dusri teraf zanjeer hay is liay is lafz ka istemaal munasib laga).

Zindigi ki jagah ghulami kay saath baybasi hi ziada mozuN hay. kabhi yeh halat kissi ghulami maiN mubtila shakhz say baat ker kay dekhiay.

yasir shah wrote: 5-"eezaa milnaa kaj rawee ke haath meN" cheh ma'nee ast ?
jab koi kaj rawi ikhtiar keray ga to aik viscious cycle shru ho jaey ga equilibrium disturb honay ka aur pehlay woh dusroN kay liay eeza ka baes banay ga phir apnay liay. Chunancheh mashwera dey reha huN keh apnay ikhlaq ko darust ker lain aur is teRh pan ko khatam ker daiN.

kia baat wazeh nahiN hay?

yasir shah wrote: 6-yeh she'r bhi kamzor hay
Kamzor aap kis maani maiN keh rehay haiN agar kuch wazeh ker daitay.

maiN nay to sirf is haqeeqat ka izhar kia hay keh aaj duniya maiN jis jazbay ko ishq ka pakeeza jazbah keh ker zameen aasman kay qalabay milla diay jaatay haiN woh simple plain sexual desire kay siwa kuch nahiN aur Deen ki terminology maiN yehi baat nafs e ammaraH kay zumray maiN aati hay. Chunkeh is term ka istemaal aap naiN murawijah shaeri maiN kabhi dekha nahiN is liay yeh aap ko kuch ajnabi laga ho ga.

yasir shah wrote: 7-yeh bhi Ghair.waaZeh hay

Aik baRi Wazeh aur eham haqeeqat ko bayan kia hay Zera ghiur fermayiyay

an ginnat sajday kis ko millay ...Adam ko jab fariishtoN ko hukam hua
Adam say kia manga gaya ........ bas aik sajida (tauheed)
is sequence maiN adam kay haath kia aya...... khilafat rabbani >>yeni is kainat ka nazm o nasq

kia yeh khayal ab bhi ghair wazeh hay

yasir shah wrote: 8-bhaaree murakkab-e-iZaafee ke baawajood takhayyul nazar-e-caanee chaahtaa hay

ab is kay pas manzer kay liay dobara wahaN jaeyiyay jahaN insaan ko farishtoN kay saamnay pesh kia gaya aur "ilm us asmaa" maiN aadam ki fazeelat batayi.

Ab zara sochiay keh kahaN to insaan ki kasht o khun ki fitrat say farishtay tazabzub maiN thay aur kahaN ilm ul asmaa ki fazeelat dekh ker woh yaksar khamosh ho gaey. yehi woh kaleed e intizam e kehkashan ka falsafa hay jo Adam kay haath maiN hay. Kabhi moqa milaa to is unwan kay teht inshaAllah kuch tafseeli tazkira ho ga kiunkeh yeh un khas nuktoN maiN say hay jinhaiN nazer andaz kernay kay baad hum arsh ki bulandioN say gir ker teh tul sara maiN ja pohanchay haiN.

yasir shah wrote: Malik SaaHib ! mumkin hay meraa yeh tabSirah aap ko giraaN guzray magar kyaa yeh is se ziyaadah mufeed naheeN keh meN "aNdhaa.dhuNd daad " day kar chaltaa banooN -

khudaa karay zor-e-qalam aur ziyaadah-

yasir

Ji aap ka tabsirah ser aankhoN per balkeh yeh to aik terah say acha hi hua keh is waastay pas manzer per roshni daalnay ka moqa mil gaya, aur ghalti kay baray maiN mera concept yehi hay keh yeh insaan ka part and parcel hay. Laikin khubi insaan ki yeh hay keh woh ussay qabul kernay ko tayyar rehay aur jo nishandehi kernay kay ehl millaiN un ki qadr keray.

Chunancheh aap kay mashweroN ka muntazir raha keruN ga

wassalam

Sohail Malik

Malik SaaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

meN aap ke buland khayaalaat ki qadr kartaa hooN laiken HaZrat ! filwaqt yeh she'r meN chaahiyeN nacr meN naheeN ,, matlab yeh keh zabaan-o-bayan ki baRee ahamiyat hotee hay adaaigee-e-ma'nwiyat meN,,agar alfaaZ' aap kaa saath naheeN de rahay to taaweelaat kaa kyaa faaidah - lateef micaal yeh dooN gaa keh Pheekay Phal meN agar "sugar syrup" daakhil kar bhi diyaa jaa.ay to 'aam log to Khaa leN gay laiken shu'araa ko qudratee miThaas darkaar hay-

aap ki Ghazal meN "wazn" ,"zabaan-o-bayaan"(roz marrah ,muHaawarah ,lafzoN kaa chunaao waGhairah),"khayaal" ki kamzoriyaaN paaee jaatee heN jo mut'aali'ah aur mashq se door ho jaa.eN gee -

aap ke tabSiray ki raushanee meN un maqaamaat ki taraf ishaarah karooN gaa :

wazn ke liHaaz se aap ke 1, 3 , 4 ,6 ya'nee chaar ash'aar naaqiS heN ("nah" ke sabab)

zabaan ke muta.a'lliq kahooN gaa keh "sijday dainaa" ,, "sijday maaNgnaa" ya'nee "sijday ki lain dain" nah Sirf naaqiS zabaan hay balkeh khayaal bhi -sijdah nah maaNgaa gayaa nah diyaa gayaa ,,Sijdah karnay kaa Hukm huwaa aur hameN apnee bhalaaee ki khaat'ir sijdah ba.harSoorat karnaa hay-

"khudaaee baaNdh dee bandagee ke haath meN ",, aap hi bataaiye! meN yahaaN kyaa a'rZ karooN ,HuZoor ne to sun hi raKhaa ho gaa keh baaNdhaa kyaa kyaa jaataa hay !

"dard ke iHsaas ko kaaTnaa" ,,iHsaas bhi kabhee kaTtaa hay ?

"kis qadar eezaa milee is kajrawee ke haath meN" ,, bhaai yeh maHal bhi "........................kajrawee ke haath se " kaa thaa

aur aakhir meN khayaalaat ke mut'allliq kuCh kahnaa qabl.az.waqt hay laiken Phir bhi apnee raa,ay goshguzaar kar daitaa hooN

1-"hosh ki jab pairawee koi nishaaN nah day sakee
zindagee ki Dor dee hay bai.khudee ke haath meN"

--------------

2-"jab se bai.naam-o-nishaaN honay lagay ham hosh meN
zindagee ki Dor day dee bai.khudee ke haath meN "

Aap jis andaz maiN termeem tajweez ker rehay haiN us say maani bohat badal jaey ga zera ghour fermaiay

yahan rah e saluk maiN khird ki nakami ko ujager kerna maqsud hay jab keh aap ki mujawizzah tajweez say mafhoom bohat nichli satah per aa jaey ga aur zaat maiN hi ulajh ker reh jaey ga.

muHtaram ! meraa tajweezkardah she'r bandish ko chust karnay ki khaatir faqat lafzoN ki tarteeb ki tabdeelee aur aik aadh lafz kaa iZaafah hay wagarnah nah yeh "sha.'oor" meraa hay nah "she'r"- aap ko apnaa mutabaadil she'r nichlee sat'H kaa lagaa keh zaatee baat thee aur mujhay yeh pahlay hi Gharq naZ'ar aayaa keh bai.khudee ko hosh peh tarjeeH dee gaee thee

yaaddihaanee ke tor par nacree mafhoom liKh daitaa hooN :

"hosh ki pairawee jab koi nishaaN naheeN day sakee to zindagee bai.khudee ke Hawaalay kar dee"

ab nacr ho yaa she'r khayaal mutaqaaZee hay keh "kis ne ?" ba.eeN.humah , shaai'r she'r ko apnee zaat se hi mansoob kar saktaa hay - laiken aap ki tashreeH is she'r meN maujood naheeN hay

kaaT nah day gar Ghulaamee dard ke eHsaas ko
ashk ki zanjeer daiKheN bai.basee ke haath meN

jis terah peham derd apna ehsaas kho deyta hay issi terah pehm halat e ghulami bhi ehsaasay beybasi ko kaat daiti hay (yahaN kaatnay ka lafz mitanay kay hi maanoN maiN istemaal kia hay laikin chunkeh dusri teraf zanjeer hay is liay is lafz ka istemaal munasib laga).

Zindigi ki jagah ghulami kay saath baybasi hi ziada mozuN hay. kabhi yeh halat kissi ghulami maiN mubtila shakhz say baat ker kay dekhiay.

yahaaN ma'zaratkhwaah hooN ! mujh se aik "typo" ho gayaa- meN yehee kahnaa chaahtaa thaa keh "ashk ki zanjeer ho gee baibasee ke haath meN " raKh kar pahlaa miSra' sochiye kyooNkeh pahlaa miSra' shikastah Haal hay -"daiKheN" ko "ho gee" meN is liye tabdeel kiyaa keh "daiKheN", "fe'l" ko pairaa,ay meN "faai'l" ki Zaroorat hay magar "ho gee " ko naheeN ,, laiken Phir bhee faqat doosre miSre' ko daiKh kar sochaa jaa.ay to yeh aap ki tashreeH adaa naheeN kartaa

kyooNkeh ashkoN ki zanjeer bajaa-e-khud "bai.basee" kaa cuboot hay-is ke baawajood yeh miSra' kisee aur khayaal ki adaaigee ke liye kaaraamad caabit ho saktaa hay -u'mdah isti'aaray isti'maal kiye heN aap ne ,ya'nee "ashk ki zanjeer" ="aaNsoo,oN ki laRee" ,,"baibasee kaa haath"= " maayoos aaNkh "
waah !

aakhree she'r peh aap ki taHreer kaa muntazir rahooN gaa shaayed dimaaGh ki koi girah Khul sakay -janaab ! aap ki maHabbat meN aisaa tafSeelee tabSirah paish kar diyaa hay warnah furSat kisay hay !

aap ki deegar takhleeqaat kaa bhi intizaar rahay gaa-

yasir

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:35 pm

sara_j wrote:
Sohail Malik wrote:
zindagi ki inteha na zindagi ke haath mein
roz-o-shab ka hadsa hai kab kisi ke haath mein

aapne apnoN ko tou qabil kabhi samjha nahiiN
aap ka har faisla ek ajnabi ke haath mein

housh ki jab pairvii koi nishaaN na desaki
zindagi ki Dor di hai bekhudi ke haath mein

kaaT na de ger ghulami dard ke ehsaas ko
ashk ki zanjeer dekhein bebasi ke haath mein

aap apne khalq ko sahib zara behtar kareiN
kis qadar aiza mili us kaj rawi ke haath mein

hai ye khwahish nafse ammaraH ki na samjhe jise
ishq tou badnaam hai ab aashiqi ke haath mein

unginat sajde diye hain aek sajda maang ker
kya khudai baandh dii ek bandagi ke haath mein

jo kaleede intezaame kehkashaan samjhi gayii
voh likhi tehreer dekhi aadmi ke haath mein
Sohail sahib,

khushamdeed aur adaab arz hai.

aapki ghazal dekhi aur pasand aayi.

khaas # 1, 4, 5, aur 7 ziyada pasand aaye.

daad qubool keejiye .

agar roman typing mein koi ghalati hui ahi mujhse tou mazirat.

sara

Sara Sahiba
Aap kay is khair maqdam aur ghazal ki pasandeedgi ka bohat mashkoor huN. Umeed hay aap ki janib say yuNhi hosla afzai milti rehay gi. Agar koi kami ya kotahi dekhaiN to zarur agah kijiay ga.

wassalam
sohail malik

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:27 pm

Yasir Sahib aap ka mohabbat nama nazer nawaz hua

bohat innayet aap ki keh apni gonaguN masrufiat kay bawajud mujh nacheez kay liay itna waqt nikala jis per maiN azhed mamnoon huN.

laiken HaZrat ! filwaqt yeh she'r meN chaahiyeN nacr meN [naheeN

Kia khayal hay yasir sahib kuch ziada sakht alfaz nahiN istemaal ker liay ya aap kay khayal maiN is andaz maiN tanqeed bhi aadab e islah e adab ka hissa hay

aap ki Ghazal meN "wazn" ,"zabaan-o-bayaan"(roz marrah ,muHaawarah ,lafzoN kaa chunaao waGhairah),"khayaal" ki kamzoriyaaN paaee jaatee heN jo mut'aali'ah aur mashq se door ho jaa.eN gee

Phir baqi peechay reh kaya gaya hey

zabaan ke muta.a'lliq kahooN gaa keh "sijday dainaa" ,, "sijday maaNgnaa" ya'nee "sijday ki lain dain" nah Sirf naaqiS zabaan hay balkeh khayaal bhi -sijdah nah maaNgaa gayaa nah diyaa gayaa ,,Sijdah karnay kaa Hukm huwaa aur hameN apnee bhalaaee ki khaat'ir sijdah ba.harSoorat karnaa hay-

"khudaaee baaNdh dee bandagee ke haath meN ",, aap hi bataaiye! meN yahaaN kyaa a'rZ karooN ,HuZoor ne to sun hi raKhaa ho gaa keh baaNdhaa kyaa kyaa jaataa hay !

pehli baat to yeh keh lafz "sajdah" hay "sijdah" nahiN isaay darust ker lijiay.

dosri baat yeh keh sajdah alamat hay baRai tasleem kernay ki. Agar aap zera apnay ilm kay dairay ko wasee fermaiN to ilm ho jaey ga keh yeh lafz namaz kay sajday kay illawa kahaN kahaN istemaal hua hay.

Baat kuch aisay andaz kay laiN dain ki nahiN jo aap naiN azrah e tamaskhur bana lia hay yeh do mukhtalif muqamat per Quran e paak maiN aanay wali batoN ko yakja kia hay.

1. Jahan Allah nay farishtoN ko Adam kay samnay sajdah ker kay us ki baRai makhlukat per declare ki.

2. jahaN Allah nay kaha keh "hum nay insaan aur jinnat ko is kay siwa kissi kam kay liay peda nahiN kia keh woh meri abdiat ikhtiar keraiN"

Abdiat GHulami hay aur Apna chota pan aur malik ki BaRai tesleem kerti hay. Is ka symbolic izhar bhi sajday ki shakal maiN hota hay. chunanCheh allah nay barah e rast insaan ko hukam dia hay is maiN kuch indirect nahiN hay jaisa keh aap ferma rehay haiN.Ab is kay aagay maiN kia arz ker sakta huN.

Ab bandhna bhi aap ko pasand nahiN aya

bandhna aik wasee lafz hay agar aap is kay haath sirf sher bandhenay ya haath bandhnay tek mehdood ker daiN to phir maiN kia ker sakta huN

is ka aik maani qabu main laan ya takheer bhi hay

jaisay jo paltu janwer jab qabu main hotay haiN to woh aap kay haath bandhay huay hotay haiN aur aap un ki rassi pakeR ker un ko jahaN chahay lay jatay haiN.

"dard ke iHsaas ko kaaTnaa" ,,iHsaas bhi kabhee kaTtaa hay ?

katnay ka aik maani munqata kerna hay aur derd ki transmission nerves kay zeriay say hoti hay to agar maiN nay derd kay ehsas ko munqata kernay ki baat ki hay yeni us ki transmission block kernay ki to koN sa baRa juram ker dia hay Qibla. Urdu adab maiN to aap ko shuara aisi aisi dur ki kori latay nazer ayeN gay jis ka haqeeqat say koi taaluq nahin jaisa jigar ka khun aansuoN ki shakel maiN aankhoN say lahu ben ker tapkta hay.

"kis qadar eezaa milee is kajrawee ke haath meN" ,, bhaai yeh maHal bhi "........................kajrawee ke haath se " kaa thaa

Aap ki baat bhi theek hay keh haath say eeza milti hay

laikin aap phir bhul rehay haiN keh haath maiN ka matlab hay zer e asar hona aur jab kaj ravi kay zer e asar ho ker aap koi ghalat kaam kertay haiN to aap ko indirect eeza milti hay. yehi baat aap ko maiN nay pehlay bhi wazeh ki hay laikin aap ko pasand nahiN aa rehi.

quote]meraa tajweezkardah she'r bandish ko chust karnay ki khaatir faqat lafzoN ki tarteeb ki tabdeelee aur aik aadh lafz kaa iZaafah hay wagarnah nah yeh "sha.'oor" meraa hay nah "she'r"[/quote]

MashaAllah kia husn e zan paya hay sher ka kuch ka kuch ker diya aur ab bhi ferma rehay haiN keh sher aur shaoor ko aap nay kuch nahiN kai

"- aap ko apnaa mutabaadil she'r nichlee sat'H kaa lagaa keh zaatee baat thee aur mujhay yeh pahlay hi Gharq naZ'ar aayaa keh bai.khudee ko hosh peh tarjeeH dee gaee thee yaaddihaanee ke tor par nacree mafhoom liKh daitaa hooN :

"hosh ki pairawee jab koi nishaaN naheeN day sakee to zindagee bai.khudee ke Hawaalay kar dee"

Bohat shukria keh aap nay aik gharq shuda khayal ko bazyab kernay ki koshish fermayi. Barah e karam yehi mehrubani agar aap kalam e Iqbal kay saath bhi ferma daiN to aap ka Urdu adab per baRa ehsaan ho ga kiuN keh mosuf nay bhi aksar hosh ko bekhudi aur khirad ko dil kay teht samjha hay maslan

"shaur o hosh o khird ka muamila ajeeb hay
muqaam e shouq maiN haiN sab dil o nazer kay raqeeb"

ya

"guzer ja aql say agay keh yeh noor
chiragh e rah hay manzil nahiN hay"

ya

"darun e khana hangamay haiN kia kia
chiragh e rahguzer ko kia khaber hay"

aur aisi bohat si deegar fikri aghlat jo allama apni lailmi maiN ferma gaey to agar aap un sab ki islah ker daiN to aap yaqeenan is kay haqdar haiN kiunkeh aap waisay bhi........

Shair e mashriq kay saath aik hi buland uffaq per mojud haiN.

yahaaN ma'zaratkhwaah hooN ! mujh se aik "typo" ho gayaa- meN yehee kahnaa chaahtaa thaa keh "ashk ki zanjeer ho gee baibasee ke haath meN " raKh kar pahlaa miSra' sochiye kyooNkeh pahlaa miSra' shikastah Haal hay -"daiKheN" ko "ho gee" meN is liye tabdeel kiyaa keh "daiKheN", "fe'l" ko pairaa,ay meN "faai'l" ki Zaroorat hay magar "ho gee " ko naheeN

Mazrat qabool

ho gi wali baat aap ki baja hay laikin janab maiN to yahaN aik nazaray ki dawat dey raha huN logoN ko dekhnay kay liay phir ho gi kaisay mera maani ada ker paye gi

salaye aam hay waali baat hay

ashkoN ki zanjeer bajaa-e-khud "bai.basee" kaa cuboot hay

ashk kia sirf baybasi maiN hi nakaltay haiN?

zera ghour fermayiyay

u'mdah isti'aaray isti'maal kiye heN aap ne ,ya'nee "ashk ki zanjeer" ="aaNsoo,oN ki laRee" ,,"baibasee kaa haath"= " maayoos aaNkh "
waah !

Ji maiN to jamay maiN phula hi nahiN sama pa reha keh hazuR naiN bilaakhir mujh nacheez ki kawish maiN koi to achi baat dekh li werna to maiN raddi ki tokri DhunD raha tha

is ke baawajood yeh miSra' kisee aur khayaal ki adaaigee ke liye kaaraamad caabit ho saktaa hay

To hazur aap is sher kay markazi khayal yeni ghulami maiN baybasi kay ehsas ko ujager kernay ki koshish ko siray hi say nikalwana chahtay haiN.
Yeh zulm hay aur is per banda shadeed ehtejaaj kerta hay.

aap ki maHabbat meN aisaa tafSeelee tabSirah paish kar diyaa hay warnah furSat kisay hay !

Aji hum bhi aap ki muhabbat maiN ghulay ja rehay haiN kabhi izhar ka moqa to dijiay

aakhree she'r peh aap ki taHreer kaa muntazir rahooN gaa shaayed dimaaGh ki koi girah Khul sakay -janaab !

Bhai sahib pehlay jaeiyay kissi ghulami maiN mubtila insaan kay paas bethiay aur aur us kay dil ka haal sunaiN phir meri baat per ghour kijiay ga.

yeh band kemroM maiN beth ker aur ilm ul urooz ki chand kitabaiN peRh ker ya chand ghissay pittay sheroN kay peyt say mazameen DhunD ker jo shaeri aaj kal ho rehi hay issi nay to urdu adab ki lutia dabo di hay.

aap ki deegar takhleeqaat kaa bhi intizaar rahay gaa-

InshaAllah jald pesh keruN ga ....aap apna neshter tez rekhiay

wassalam

Sohail Malik

Post by **yasir shah** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:21 am

muHtaram Sohail SaaHib !

ab aap ki Ghazal ke Hawaalay se mazeed baat karnaa to fuZool hay balkeh waqt kaa ziyaaN hay -albattah aap ki do naee aGhlaat' ki nishaandihee meraa farZ hay-

1-"sijdah" aur "sajdah" donoN talaffuz hi durust heN- koi luGhat khareed kar raKh leejiye ,kaee maqaamaat par kaam aa jaayaa karay gee khuSooSan talaffuz ki durutee meN -waaZeh rahay keh aap ki kaee talaffuz ki aGhlat meN deegar GhaltiyoN ke muqaabalay meN nazar.andaaz kar chukaa hooN aur ab bhi Sarf-e-nazar karooN gaa-

2-khudaa raa Allamah Iqbaal ke ash.'aar ko apnee Ghalat' taaweelaat ki bheeNT mat chaRhaaiye woh "junoon-e-i'shq" ko "a'ql-o-hosh" par tarjeeh dete heN nah keh "bai.khudee" ko "hosh" par ,, "khudee" kaa qaail bhalaa aisaa kyooNkar karay gaa -

--------------------------------------------

Malik saaHib ! Ghazal aap ki milk hay har faiSilah aap ke haath meN hay aisay meN tabSirah kartay waqt meree seedhee baatoN kaa buraa mat manaaiye gaa- ab is laRee meN aap se ijaazat chaahooN gaa -

yeh leejiye al.widaa'ee gulaab :rose

khush rahiye
yasir

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:58 am

Yasir Sahib aap to bura maan gaey

Ager meri kissi baat say dil azari hui hay to mazerat khwah huN

ji aik baat dekhiay

1. Ghazal meri hay jaisay chahuN likhuN koi herj nahiN (yeh aap nay kaha aur hota bhi yuNhi hay)

2. Tanqeed aap nay fermai jo aap ka haq hay (kiunkeh is mehfil maiN sirf wah wah sunanay ki gharz say aana koi maqsad nahiN.)

3. aap ki tanqeed ka maiN nay jawab dia(jo mera haq hay) aur us maiN tees mumkin surtaiN theen jin teenoN ko main nay ikhtiar kia.

aap ki jo baat dil ko lagi us say ittefaq kia
aap ki jis baat say dil main shubah peyda hua usay mazeed logoN ki raey per cchoR dia
aap ki jis raey say ittefaq nahiN kia us per apna moaquf bayan ker dia.

ab aam tour per tanqeedi tabsira yahaN khatem ho jaata hay laikin kabhi kabhi woh do deegar rastay bhi ikhtiar ker sakta hay

a. baat ana ki jang ban jaati hay aur zatiat per aa jaati hay
b. koi asal ilmi behs chiR jaati hay jis say kai uqday khultay haiN laikin yeh tab hota hay jab fareeqain masbat soch kay saath agay beRhaiN.

badqismati say hamaray muamilay maiN shakel a. chal nikli jis ka mujhay afsus hay aur is maiN jis had tek meri khata hay us per maiN mazret kerta huN..

aap ka phul qabul hay aur aap jo dictionery bataiN gey wohi khareed luN ga.

aur khafa ho ker mat jaeyiay ga kiunkeh abhi to aap say bohat kuch seekhna hay.

wassalam

Sohail Malik

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:40 am

Janab Sohail Malik SaHeb,

aaj aap ki ghazal aor phir is par Yasir SaHeb ka taweel tabSiraa nazar se guzraa. chooNke waqt bhi thaa to socha ke apni bhi khetaa chalooN

1. matlaa meiN Yasir Sb ki tarmeem khoobSoorat hai. laikin mien kab ki takraar se bachne ke leeaye samajhtaa hooN ke aise khe meiN koi harj naheeN.

intehaa-aye zeest ho kyooN zindigi ke haath meiN
roz o shab ka HadiSa hai kub kissi ke haath meiN.

is par bhi ghor farmaa lijiaye gaa.

2. bohat achha sha'er hai. ik ko hae meiN badlane ka faislaa to aap kar hi chuke haiN.

3. Bohat khoobSoorat khyaal hai. pehle miSraa aap daikh leejiaye laikin dooSre miSra meiN "Dor di hai" se "Dor de di" bohat behtar hai.

4. iss sha;er meiN aap ki wazahat bhi sha;er ki taraH mubham lagi.

5. pehla miSra bohat shaandaar hai. dooSra miSra yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai. shayed radeef bohat mushkil hai. uss ki wajaa se mushkil ho rahi hai.

6. pehla miSraa yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai.

7. bohat zabardast khyaal hai. meiN hotaa toa doosra miSraa yooN kehtaa

" kya khudaai Daal dooN aor bandagi ke haath meiN?

meiN ye naheen jaantaaa ke ye aap ke miSraa se behtar hai ke naheeN laikin bus zahn meiN aayaa so likha diyaa. daikh leejiaye.

8. maqt'aa pasand aayaa.

mukhliS,

Muhammad K. Siiddiqui

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:17 am

Siddique Sahib
Bohat mamnoon huN keh aap nay ghazal peRhnay ki zehmat ki aur ohir apnay qeemati khayalat say bhi nawaza

yahan pehlay khayal aur phir shakel per baat keraiN gay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. matlaa meiN Yasir Sb ki tarmeem khoobSoorat hai. laikin mien kab ki takraar se bachne ke leeaye samajhtaa hooN ke aise khe meiN koi harj naheeN.

intehaa-aye zeest ho kyooN zindigi ke haath meiN
roz o shab ka HadiSa hai kub kissi ke haath meiN.

is par bhi ghor farmaa lijiaye gaa.

is sher ka khayal falsafah e khudi kay saath munsalik hay is liay mujawizzah tajweez is kay maani ko yakser badel day gi..... kaisay ? zera ghour fermayiyay

zindagi ki basis khudi hay aur us ka total control bhi khudi kay haath maiN hona chahihay, yeh zindagi ki inteha hay. Allama ka sher quote keruN ga

"ho ager khud nager o khud ger o khud geer khudi
yeh bhi mumkin hay keh tu mout say bhi mer nah sakay"

ab yahaN maiN nay apnay sher maiN is nakami aur mehrumi per afsos ka izhar kia hay keh zindegi ki inteha zindegi kay haath maiN nahiN hay isliay jo roz o shab kay hawadis haiN woh bhi out of control haiN.

Yahan Allama ka aik often quoted but least understood sher quote keruN ga.

"Khudi ko ker buland itna keh her taqdeer say pehlay
khuda banday say khud puchay bata teri raza kia hay"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. bohat achha sha'er hai. ik ko hae meiN badlane ka faislaa to aap kar hi chuke haiN.

kiunkeh is tabdeeli say kissi nazuk khayal per koi aser nahin peR raha tha is liay yeh tabdeeli maiN nay billa chun o charaN qabul ker li

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Bohat khoobSoorat khyaal hai. pehle miSraa aap daikh leejiaye laikin dooSre miSra meiN "Dor di hai" se "Dor de di" bohat behtar hai.

shuker hay keh aap is khayal ko jazb ker paye wagernah yasir sahib to beykhudi ko khudi ka mutazzad cabit kernay per bazid thay

aap ki termeem khayal per koi ferq nahiN Daal rehi aur chunkeh aap kay khayal say is terah is ki sakht behter hoti hay to yeh bhi qabool hay

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. iss sha;er meiN aap ki wazahat bhi sha;er ki taraH mubham lagi.

ab is sher ko aasan tereen sacr maiN likhta huN

ager ghulami khud hi waqt guzernay kay saath apnay ehsaas ko mitta nah dey to us say aik shadeed baybassi ka jazbah wajud pazeer hota hay( jis ki tasweer kashi baybasi kay hathoN main ashkoN ki zanjeer day ker ki gai hay)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. pehla miSra bohat shaandaar hai. dooSra miSra yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai. shayed radeef bohat mushkil hai. uss ki wajaa se mushkil ho rahi hai.

theek janab is sher per nazr e cani ker luN ga. waisay bhi yeh bherti ka sher hay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. pehla miSraa yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai.

saakht kay lihaaz say maiN aap say ittefaq kerta huN keh nazr e cani zeruri hay laikin khayal say dest berdar honay ko tayyar nahiN huN kiunkeh yeh bherti ka sher nahiN hay

is ki aik pehli surat yuN thi jo baad maiN badli zera dekhia

hay yeh khwahish nafse ammarah ki nah samjhay jissah

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7. bohat zabardast khyaal hai. meiN hotaa toa doosra miSraa yooN kehtaa

" kya khudaai Daal dooN aor bandagi ke haath meiN?

meiN ye naheen jaantaaa ke ye aap ke miSraa se behtar hai ke naheeN laikin bus zahn meiN aayaa so likha diyaa. daikh leejiaye.

yahaN aap ki mujawizzah termeem say khitab kernay waala maiN nahiN rehuN ga balkeh zaat e baari taala ho jaey gi jo maqsud aur munasib nahiN hay.

yahaN to sirf apnay saathi insaanoN ko maiN khud baat ker kay is haqeeqat ki yaad dihani kerwa reha huM keh woh apni hayciat e niabet ko pehchanaiN.

behr haal meray khayal say dosray misray ko dobara dekh hi laina chahihay kiunkeh muhawera theek nahiN beTh raha jaisa yasir sahib nay kaha tha

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. maqt'aa pasand aayaa.

shuker hay maqtaa aap kay zehn maiN ulajh ker nahiN reh gaya jaisa keh yasir sahib kay saath hua tha.

Ilm ul asma hi kaleed e taskheer e kainat aur niabet kay farayez seranjam denay ki quwat hay, ........ aur haath ki tehreer say murad yeh hay keh Allah nay yeh khubi insaan ka muqader ker di yeni atta ker di.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bohat shukria Siddique sahib eh aap nay baRi saaf goi say kaam laitay hua jis baat nay bhi ibhaam paida kia woh bata di.

aisi surat maiN do hi bateiN mumkin haiN
1. ya to khayal itna pecheedah aur mushkil hay aur qari buniyadi haqaeq jo mozu ki teraf ishara ker rehay haiN un say bekhaber hay.

2. ya shaer kay andaz e bayyan maiN kuch kami reh gai hay.

ab donoN maiN say jo bhi surat ho afer mucbat tereekay say behs beRhay to baat wazeh hoti hay.

Wassalam

Sohail Malik

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:09 am

Salam Sir,

my comments are in red text.

Sohail Malik wrote:Siddique Sahib
Bohat mamnoon huN keh aap nay ghazal peRhnay ki zehmat ki aur ohir apnay qeemati khayalat say bhi nawaza

iss meiN mamnoon hone wali koi baat naheeN. meiN smajhtaa hooN ke dostoaN ko eemaandaaraanaa comments dainaa farz hai.

yahan pehlay khayal aur phir shakel per baat keraiN gay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. matlaa meiN Yasir Sb ki tarmeem khoobSoorat hai. laikin mien kab ki takraar se bachne ke leeaye samajhtaa hooN ke aise khe meiN koi harj naheeN.

intehaa-aye zeest ho kyooN zindigi ke haath meiN
roz o shab ka HadiSa hai kub kissi ke haath meiN.

is par bhi ghor farmaa lijiaye gaa.

is sher ka khayal falsafah e khudi kay saath munsalik hay is liay mujawizzah tajweez is kay maani ko yakser badel day gi..... kaisay ? zera ghour fermayiyay

zindagi ki basis khudi hay aur us ka total control bhi khudi kay haath maiN hona chahihay, yeh zindagi ki inteha hay.

intehaa matlab, ehtetaam bhi nikaltaa hai. iss leeaye confustion ho jaataa hai. kyooN ke zindigi ke ehtetaam zindigi ke haat meiN nahee.

Allama ka sher quote keruN ga

"ho ager khud nager o khud ger o khud geer khudi
yeh bhi mumkin hay keh tu mout say bhi mer nah sakay"

mout se na marnaa muHawaarun to ho saktaa hai haqeetun naheeN

ab yahaN maiN nay apnay sher maiN is nakami aur mehrumi per afsos ka izhar kia hay keh zindegi ki inteha ( zindigi ki intehaa kia hai? ye shaer meiN wazeH naheeN hotaa. iss taraf bhi tawajja daini chahiaye . aap to zindigi par control ko zindigi ki intehaa samajhtaiN haiN. ye aap ka nuqta nazar hai. ko mout ko bhi to zindigi ki intehaa samajh saktaa hai. zindegi kay haath maiN nahiN hay isliay jo roz o shab kay hawadis haiN woh bhi out of control haiN.

Yahan Allama ka aik often quoted but least understood sher quote keruN ga.

"Khudi ko ker buland itna keh her taqdeer say pehlay
khuda banday say khud puchay bata teri raza kia hay"

daikh lijiaye agar aap samajhte haiN ke aap ka mafhoom adaa ho rahaa hai to phir theek hai. meiN aap ko bataa farz samajhtaa hooN jo meiN samjhaa

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. bohat achha sha'er hai. ik ko hae meiN badlane ka faislaa to aap kar hi chuke haiN.

kiunkeh is tabdeeli say kissi nazuk khayal per koi aser nahin peR raha tha is liay yeh tabdeeli maiN nay billa chun o charaN qabul ker li

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Bohat khoobSoorat khyaal hai. pehle miSraa aap daikh leejiaye laikin dooSre miSra meiN "Dor di hai" se "Dor de di" bohat behtar hai.

shuker hay keh aap is khayal ko jazb ker paye wagernah yasir sahib to beykhudi ko khudi ka mutazzad cabit kernay per bazid thay

aap ki termeem khayal per koi ferq nahiN Daal rehi aur chunkeh aap kay khayal say is terah is ki sakht behter hoti hay to yeh bhi qabool hay

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. iss sha;er meiN aap ki wazahat bhi sha;er ki taraH mubham lagi.

ab is sher ko aasan tereen sacr maiN likhta huN

ager ghulami khud hi waqt guzernay kay saath apnay ehsaas ko mitta nah dey to us say aik shadeed baybassi ka jazbah wajud pazeer hota hay( jis ki tasweer kashi baybasi kay hathoN main ashkoN ki zanjeer day ker ki gai hay)

maazirat chahtaa hooN abhi bhi muaamlaa paicheedaa hai.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

5. pehla miSra bohat shaandaar hai. dooSra miSra yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai. shayed radeef bohat mushkil hai. uss ki wajaa se mushkil ho rahi hai.

theek janab is sher per nazr e cani ker luN ga. waisay bhi yeh bherti ka sher hay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. pehla miSraa yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai.

saakht kay lihaaz say maiN aap say ittefaq kerta huN keh nazr e cani zeruri hay laikin khayal say dest berdar honay ko tayyar nahiN huN kiunkeh yeh bherti ka sher nahiN hay

is ki aik pehli surat yuN thi jo baad maiN badli zera dekhia

hay yeh khwahish nafse ammarah ki nah samjhay jissah

kon na samjhe?

clear naheeN hotaa. .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7. bohat zabardast khyaal hai. meiN hotaa toa doosra miSraa yooN kehtaa

" kya khudaai Daal dooN aor bandagi ke haath meiN?

meiN ye naheen jaantaaa ke ye aap ke miSraa se behtar hai ke naheeN laikin bus zahn meiN aayaa so likha diyaa. daikh leejiaye.

yahaN aap ki mujawizzah termeem say khitab kernay waala maiN nahiN rehuN ga balkeh zaat e baari taala ho jaey gi jo maqsud aur munasib nahiN hay.

yahaN to sirf apnay saathi insaanoN ko maiN khud baat ker kay is haqeeqat ki yaad dihani kerwa reha huM keh woh apni hayciat e niabet ko pehchanaiN.

behr haal meray khayal say dosray misray ko dobara dekh hi laina chahihay kiunkeh muhawera theek nahiN beTh raha jaisa yasir sahib nay kaha tha

ji aap theek farmateiN haiN mairi tajweez se aap ka khyaal badal gyaa hai.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. maqt'aa pasand aayaa.

shuker hay maqtaa aap kay zehn maiN ulajh ker nahiN reh gaya jaisa keh yasir sahib kay saath hua tha.

Ilm ul asma hi kaleed e taskheer e kainat aur niabet kay farayez seranjam denay ki quwat hay, ........ aur haath ki tehreer say murad yeh hay keh Allah nay yeh khubi insaan ka muqader ker di yeni atta ker di.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bohat shukria Siddique sahib eh aap nay baRi saaf goi say kaam laitay hua jis baat nay bhi ibhaam paida kia woh bata di.

aisi surat maiN do hi bateiN mumkin haiN
1. ya to khayal itna pecheedah aur mushkil hay aur qari buniyadi haqaeq jo mozu ki teraf ishara ker rehay haiN un say bekhaber hay.

2. ya shaer kay andaz e bayyan maiN kuch kami reh gai hay.

ab donoN maiN say jo bhi surat ho afer mucbat tereekay say behs beRhay to baat wazeh hoti hay.

Sir meiN behC naheeN balke sirf apna nuqtaa nazar bataanaa chah rahaa thaa. agar aap ko buraa bhi lagaa ho to koi baat naheeN. . meiN ne apnaa kaam eemaandari se kartaa hooN

Wassalam

Sohail Malik

Wasalam,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 6:08 pm

Mohterem Siddiqui Sahib

Assalam o alaekum

Bohat khushi hui keh aap nay abhi bhi jis baat ko theek nahiN samjha us say ittefaq nahiN kia halankeh jaan chhuRanay ka aasan terika yehi hota hay keh khamosh ho jaiN ya ittefaq ker laiN.

Behr haal aik baat to ab mujhay aap aur yasir sahib kay dalael say wazeh ho gai hay keh is ghazal maiN waqaei itna ziada ibham hay keh issay az ser-e-no dekhnay ki zarurat hay.

meray points aap green maiN dekh lijiay

----------

1. matlaa meiN Yasir Sb ki tarmeem khoobSoorat hai. laikin mien kab ki takraar se bachne ke leeaye samajhtaa hooN ke aise khe meiN koi harj naheeN.

intehaa-aye zeest ho kyooN zindigi ke haath meiN
roz o shab ka HadiSa hai kub kissi ke haath meiN.

is par bhi ghor farmaa lijiaye gaa.

is sher ka khayal falsafah e khudi kay saath munsalik hay is liay mujawizzah tajweez is kay maani ko yakser badel day gi..... kaisay ? zera ghour fermayiyay

zindagi ki basis khudi hay aur us ka total control bhi khudi kay haath maiN hona chahihay, yeh zindagi ki inteha hay.

intehaa matlab, ehtetaam bhi nikaltaa hai. iss leeaye confustion ho jaataa hai. kyooN ke zindigi ke ehtetaam zindigi ke haat meiN nahee.

ab aap ki wazahet say samajh aya keh ibham ki baRi wajeh yahaN hay.

Allama ka sher quote keruN ga

"ho ager khud nager o khud ger o khud geer khudi
yeh bhi mumkin hay keh tu mout say bhi mer nah sakay"

mout se na marnaa muHawaarun to ho saktaa hai haqeetun naheeN

laikin falsafa e khudi kay mutabiq yeh sirf muhaweray waali baat nahiN laikin is ki surat us terah bhi nahiN hay keh jissay hum kehaiN keh insaaN aaj kay chaltay phirtay insaanoN maiN aik lafani insaan ki shakel main chal raha hay.

yehi concept aap Allah taaala kay us bayan maiN dekh saktay haiN jahaN shaheed ko zinda kaha gaya hay aur woh bhi muhawera nahiN hay.

ab yahaN maiN nay apnay sher maiN is nakami aur mehrumi per afsos ka izhar kia hay keh zindegi ki inteha

( zindigi ki intehaa kia hai? ye shaer meiN wazeH naheeN hotaa. iss taraf bhi tawajja daini chahiaye . aap to zindigi par control ko zindigi ki intehaa samajhtaiN haiN. ye aap ka nuqta nazar hai. ko mout ko bhi to zindigi ki intehaa samajh saktaa hai. zindegi kay haath maiN nahiN hay isliay jo roz o shab kay hawadis haiN woh bhi out of control haiN.

yeh mehz mera nukta e nazer hota to maiN Allama ka sher kiuN quote kerta. zera ghour fermayiyay woh falsafa e khudi per aik bohat jamey sher hay

khudnager = self dependent
khudgar = self perpetuating
khud geer = self control

baat to self control say bhi beRh ker hay maiN nay to kinaye maiN sirf self control ka hi ziker kia hay.

aur yeh khudi jo hay yeh koi muhawerati ya khayalati concept nahiN hay balkeh aik haqeeqat hay jis ko naam dia gaya hay.

Yahan Allama ka aik often quoted but least understood sher quote keruN ga.

"Khudi ko ker buland itna keh her taqdeer say pehlay
khuda banday say khud puchay bata teri raza kia hay"

daikh lijiaye agar aap samajhte haiN ke aap ka mafhoom adaa ho rahaa hai to phir theek hai. meiN aap ko bataa farz samajhtaa hooN jo meiN samjhaa

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. iss sha;er meiN aap ki wazahat bhi sha;er ki taraH mubham lagi.

ab is sher ko aasan tereen sacr maiN likhta huN

ager ghulami khud hi waqt guzernay kay saath apnay ehsaas ko mitta nah dey to us say aik shadeed baybassi ka jazbah wajud pazeer hota hay( jis ki tasweer kashi baybasi kay hathoN main ashkoN ki zanjeer day ker ki gai hay)

maazirat chahtaa hooN abhi bhi muaamlaa paicheedaa hai.

Acclimatization ka concept to aap samajhtay hi hoN gey.

yeni agar aap kis tez bu waali jagah per jaeN to shru maiN to bohat tez bu aati hay laikin phir dheeray dheeray wo bu khatam ho jaati hay. us bu ko kon khatam kerta hay? us ko ko bu khud hi khatem kerti hay keh ziada der ehsaas dilaanay kay baad dheeray dheeray apnay honay kay ehsaas ko madhem ker daiti hay.

aisa kiuN hota hay? yeh aik natural defence mechanism hay jis kay zeriay insaan aik lagatar aser andaz honay wali cheez kay aser maiN ulajhnay say bach ker apni tawajjah aur teraf bhi lay ker ja sakta hay.

Ghulami bhi issi terah aik shadeed baybassi kay ehsaas ko janam daiti hay jo keh derd ka ehsaas hay. Laikin jab ghulaami puraani hoti chali jaati hay to log ghulaami maiN bhi dheeray dheeray us derd ko bhula daitay haiN, samjhota ker laitay haiN aur ghul ghul ker mernay kay bajaey ussi roz merrah ki ghulamana zindigi maiN normal zindegi guzarna shru ker daitay haiN.

Ya aik jangli panchi ka sochaiN jissay pakaR ker pinjray maiN daal dia jaey. pehlay to woh bohat ghamzada hota hay aur khana peena bhi chhoR daita hay laikin ahesta ahesta woh khana peena shru ker daita hay aur phir aik waqt aata hay keh chehkna bhi shru ker daita hay. agar is terah say acclimatization nah ho to phir to woh bechara sirf ghuT ker hi mer jaey, jab keh aisa hona bohat rare hay aur akser compromise hi ho jaata hay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

6. pehla miSraa yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai.

saakht kay lihaaz say maiN aap say ittefaq kerta huN keh nazr e cani zeruri hay laikin khayal say dest berdar honay ko tayyar nahiN huN kiunkeh yeh bherti ka sher nahiN hay

is ki aik pehli surat yuN thi jo baad maiN badli zera dekhia

hay yeh khwahish nafse ammarah ki nah samjhay jissah

kon na samjhe?

clear naheeN hotaa. .

Aap Theek ferma rehay haiN iss sher ko dobara dekhnay ki zarurat hay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir meiN behC naheeN balke sirf apna nuqtaa nazar bataanaa chah rahaa thaa. agar aap ko buraa bhi lagaa ho to koi baat naheeN. . meiN ne apnaa kaam eemaandari se kartaa hooN

Behs say meri murad discussion hay quarrel nahiN aur aap ki saaf goi ka mashkur huN bura mananay ki qaten koi wajeh hi nahiN.

Aap say guzarish hay keh ayendah bhi issi terah say baylag tebsira kertay rehihay ga kiunkeh aadmi is kay baghair nahiN seekh sakta(is baat maiN koi mubalgha nahiN hay) aur aap nay to tabsira bohat piyar say kia hay tanqeed kernay waalay to JeRaiN hi hilla ker rekh daitay haiN laikin ussay bhi berdasht kerna peRta hay kiunkeh aap kay asal dost aap per tanqeed kernay waalay hi hotay haiN. jhuTi tareef kernay waalay to is kay bar aks kai mertaba aaadmi ko merwa daitay haiN.

wassalam

sohail mailk

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:21 am

Salam Sir,

meiN maazirat chahtaa hooN ke aap ki itnee tafseel ke baad bhi meiN in nikaat se ittefaaq karne ki position meiN naheeN. ham donoaN ka zaaviyaa nigaah thoraa muktalif hai.

1. mujhe ub bhi intehaaaye zeest ki tarkeeb ki wajaa se abhaam meHsoos hotaa hai.

4. shaer meiN jo mafhoom aap farmaa rahaiN wo mujhe theek taraH se adaa hotaa huwaa mehsoos naheeN ho rahaa.

baaqi tau aap jaanteN haiN ke mujhe jaise kam ilm to Ghalib ke ashaar ko bhi laa yaani keh daiteN haiN.

. So agar aap mutamain haiN to sub theek hai.

mukhliS,
muhammad k. Siddiqui.

Sohail Malik wrote:Mohterem Siddiqui Sahib

Assalam o alaekum

Bohat khushi hui keh aap nay abhi bhi jis baat ko theek nahiN samjha us say ittefaq nahiN kia halankeh jaan chhuRanay ka aasan terika yehi hota hay keh khamosh ho jaiN ya ittefaq ker laiN.

Behr haal aik baat to ab mujhay aap aur yasir sahib kay dalael say wazeh ho gai hay keh is ghazal maiN waqaei itna ziada ibham hay keh issay az ser-e-no dekhnay ki zarurat hay.

meray points aap green maiN dekh lijiay

----------

1. matlaa meiN Yasir Sb ki tarmeem khoobSoorat hai. laikin mien kab ki takraar se bachne ke leeaye samajhtaa hooN ke aise khe meiN koi harj naheeN.

intehaa-aye zeest ho kyooN zindigi ke haath meiN
roz o shab ka HadiSa hai kub kissi ke haath meiN.

is par bhi ghor farmaa lijiaye gaa.

is sher ka khayal falsafah e khudi kay saath munsalik hay is liay mujawizzah tajweez is kay maani ko yakser badel day gi..... kaisay ? zera ghour fermayiyay

zindagi ki basis khudi hay aur us ka total control bhi khudi kay haath maiN hona chahihay, yeh zindagi ki inteha hay.

intehaa matlab, ehtetaam bhi nikaltaa hai. iss leeaye confustion ho jaataa hai. kyooN ke zindigi ke ehtetaam zindigi ke haat meiN nahee.

ab aap ki wazahet say samajh aya keh ibham ki baRi wajeh yahaN hay.

Allama ka sher quote keruN ga

"ho ager khud nager o khud ger o khud geer khudi
yeh bhi mumkin hay keh tu mout say bhi mer nah sakay"

mout se na marnaa muHawaarun to ho saktaa hai haqeetun naheeN

laikin falsafa e khudi kay mutabiq yeh sirf muhaweray waali baat nahiN laikin is ki surat us terah bhi nahiN hay keh jissay hum kehaiN keh insaaN aaj kay chaltay phirtay insaanoN maiN aik lafani insaan ki shakel main chal raha hay.

yehi concept aap Allah taaala kay us bayan maiN dekh saktay haiN jahaN shaheed ko zinda kaha gaya hay aur woh bhi muhawera nahiN hay.

ab yahaN maiN nay apnay sher maiN is nakami aur mehrumi per afsos ka izhar kia hay keh zindegi ki inteha

( zindigi ki intehaa kia hai? ye shaer meiN wazeH naheeN hotaa. iss taraf bhi tawajja daini chahiaye . aap to zindigi par control ko zindigi ki intehaa samajhtaiN haiN. ye aap ka nuqta nazar hai. ko mout ko bhi to zindigi ki intehaa samajh saktaa hai. zindegi kay haath maiN nahiN hay isliay jo roz o shab kay hawadis haiN woh bhi out of control haiN.

yeh mehz mera nukta e nazer hota to maiN Allama ka sher kiuN quote kerta. zera ghour fermayiyay woh falsafa e khudi per aik bohat jamey sher hay

khudnager = self dependent
khudgar = self perpetuating
khud geer = self control

baat to self control say bhi beRh ker hay maiN nay to kinaye maiN sirf self control ka hi ziker kia hay.

aur yeh khudi jo hay yeh koi muhawerati ya khayalati concept nahiN hay balkeh aik haqeeqat hay jis ko naam dia gaya hay.

Yahan Allama ka aik often quoted but least understood sher quote keruN ga.

"Khudi ko ker buland itna keh her taqdeer say pehlay
khuda banday say khud puchay bata teri raza kia hay"

daikh lijiaye agar aap samajhte haiN ke aap ka mafhoom adaa ho rahaa hai to phir theek hai. meiN aap ko bataa farz samajhtaa hooN jo meiN samjhaa

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. iss sha;er meiN aap ki wazahat bhi sha;er ki taraH mubham lagi.

ab is sher ko aasan tereen sacr maiN likhta huN

ager ghulami khud hi waqt guzernay kay saath apnay ehsaas ko mitta nah dey to us say aik shadeed baybassi ka jazbah wajud pazeer hota hay( jis ki tasweer kashi baybasi kay hathoN main ashkoN ki zanjeer day ker ki gai hay)

maazirat chahtaa hooN abhi bhi muaamlaa paicheedaa hai.

Acclimatization ka concept to aap samajhtay hi hoN gey.

yeni agar aap kis tez bu waali jagah per jaeN to shru maiN to bohat tez bu aati hay laikin phir dheeray dheeray wo bu khatam ho jaati hay. us bu ko kon khatam kerta hay? us ko ko bu khud hi khatem kerti hay keh ziada der ehsaas dilaanay kay baad dheeray dheeray apnay honay kay ehsaas ko madhem ker daiti hay.

aisa kiuN hota hay? yeh aik natural defence mechanism hay jis kay zeriay insaan aik lagatar aser andaz honay wali cheez kay aser maiN ulajhnay say bach ker apni tawajjah aur teraf bhi lay ker ja sakta hay.

Ghulami bhi issi terah aik shadeed baybassi kay ehsaas ko janam daiti hay jo keh derd ka ehsaas hay. Laikin jab ghulaami puraani hoti chali jaati hay to log ghulaami maiN bhi dheeray dheeray us derd ko bhula daitay haiN, samjhota ker laitay haiN aur ghul ghul ker mernay kay bajaey ussi roz merrah ki ghulamana zindigi maiN normal zindegi guzarna shru ker daitay haiN.

Ya aik jangli panchi ka sochaiN jissay pakaR ker pinjray maiN daal dia jaey. pehlay to woh bohat ghamzada hota hay aur khana peena bhi chhoR daita hay laikin ahesta ahesta woh khana peena shru ker daita hay aur phir aik waqt aata hay keh chehkna bhi shru ker daita hay. agar is terah say acclimatization nah ho to phir to woh bechara sirf ghuT ker hi mer jaey, jab keh aisa hona bohat rare hay aur akser compromise hi ho jaata hay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

6. pehla miSraa yaqeenun behtari chaahtaa hai.

saakht kay lihaaz say maiN aap say ittefaq kerta huN keh nazr e cani zeruri hay laikin khayal say dest berdar honay ko tayyar nahiN huN kiunkeh yeh bherti ka sher nahiN hay

is ki aik pehli surat yuN thi jo baad maiN badli zera dekhia

hay yeh khwahish nafse ammarah ki nah samjhay jissah

kon na samjhe?

clear naheeN hotaa. .

Aap Theek ferma rehay haiN iss sher ko dobara dekhnay ki zarurat hay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir meiN behC naheeN balke sirf apna nuqtaa nazar bataanaa chah rahaa thaa. agar aap ko buraa bhi lagaa ho to koi baat naheeN. . meiN ne apnaa kaam eemaandari se kartaa hooN

Behs say meri murad discussion hay quarrel nahiN aur aap ki saaf goi ka mashkur huN bura mananay ki qaten koi wajeh hi nahiN.

Aap say guzarish hay keh ayendah bhi issi terah say baylag tebsira kertay rehihay ga kiunkeh aadmi is kay baghair nahiN seekh sakta(is baat maiN koi mubalgha nahiN hay) aur aap nay to tabsira bohat piyar say kia hay tanqeed kernay waalay to JeRaiN hi hilla ker rekh daitay haiN laikin ussay bhi berdasht kerna peRta hay kiunkeh aap kay asal dost aap per tanqeed kernay waalay hi hotay haiN. jhuTi tareef kernay waalay to is kay bar aks kai mertaba aaadmi ko merwa daitay haiN.

wassalam

sohail mailk

Post by **Sohail Malik** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:44 am

meiN maazirat chahtaa hooN ke aap ki itnee tafseel ke baad bhi meiN in nikaat se ittefaaq karne ki position meiN naheeN. ham donoaN ka zaaviyaa nigaah thoraa muktalif hai.

1. mujhe ub bhi intehaaaye zeest ki tarkeeb ki wajaa se abhaam meHsoos hotaa hai.

4. shaer meiN jo mafhoom aap farmaa rahaiN wo mujhe theek taraH se adaa hotaa huwaa mehsoos naheeN ho rahaa.

baaqi tau aap jaanteN haiN ke mujhe jaise kam ilm to Ghalib ke ashaar ko bhi laa yaani keh daiteN haiN. . So agar aap mutamain haiN to sub theek hai.

Mohterem Siddiqui Sahib

Assalam o alaekum

Aap ki is tawajjuh per maiN aap ka phir say shukria ada kerta huN.

Koi zaruri nahiN hay keh kissi baat per do ashkhas muttafik ho sakaiN. Meray liay itna hi kaafi hay keh aap ki aara ki roshni maiN mujhay apni kai kotahioN ka ilm aur ehsaas hua hay. Soch kay dereechay issi terah khultay haiN. Aap ka maiN teh e dil say mamnuN huN aur ayendah bhi chahuN ga keh apni raey say bila takaluf agah ker dia kijiay ga aur maiN issi ko dosti ka haq ada kerna tassawer kerta huN.

Baqay e bahimi shaed issi ko kehtay haiN keh aap kai batoN per mukhtalif andaz say soch ker bhi aik dusray kay saath saath khush aslubi say chaltay haiN.

Aur jahaN tek ghalti ka taaluq hay to aik baat per apna eeman hay keh koi insaan khata say pak nahiN. Ghalib ki ghalti aaj ager hum nahiN nikaltay to us ki wajah sirf yeh hay keh woh merhoom haiN wegarna DhunDna chahaiN to wahaN bhi bohat kuch mil sakta hay.

khair andesh

Sohail Malik

Ghazal _ Zindagi ki inteha

Ghazal _ Zindagi ki inteha

Re: Ghazal _ Zindagi ki inteha