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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:07 pm
by Star Mind
Hashmat Usmani wrote:moHtaramii janaab-e-Zia saahib,

assalaam_o_'alaikum,

ummeed hai ki mizaaj-e-giraamii ba_Khair hoNge,

aapkii yeh nai aur iimproved version Ghazal kii yaqeenan behtareen hai. ab yuN kahiye ki is meN aap ne 4 chaand lagaa diye haiN. bahot Khoob. shukria share karne ka.

vaise, mujhe aapkaa vo original she'r ziyada pasand aayaa thaa jiska misr'a-e-saanii thaa:


mira andaaz e bayaaN aur nikhar saktaa hai

aur haN, ho sakta hai TYPO ho, magar mujhe lagta hai ki aapke maqt'e ke misr'a-s-saanii meN ek lafz "hai" type hone se rah gayaa hai. zara nazr-e-saanii kar lijiiyega. shukria.

ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal par aapko merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarak_baad, gar qubool uftaad!
W/Salaam,

MoHtarami Hashmat SaaHib,

ik baar phir aap ne is qadr fayyazi se kaam lyaa hai k mere paas alfaaz kam paRrahe haiN . bahut bahut shukriya
maiN aap ki raaye ka iHteraam karoNga :D . bahut bahut shukriya

MokhliS : Zia Baloch

Re: (Final version) Yeh gumaaN jo k tire dil maiN utar sakta

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:13 pm
by Star Mind
sara_j wrote:
Star Mind wrote: [
1. Yeh gumaaN, jo k tire dil maiN utar saktaa hai
Dil-e-a'aashiq peh qayaamat sa guzar saktaa hai :!:

waah! bohat khoob.

bahut shukriya saara ji :D

2. To chaman se bhi dabe paaoN guzar baad-e-saHar :!:
Waraq-e-gul bhi, tire haathoN bikhar saktaa hai :!:

bohat khoobsurat !

Thanks alot :D

3. Yeh jo rakhta hai khazeenoN ko chupaa kar teh maiN
Yeh samandar bhi mire dil maiN utar saktaa hai :!:

waah! bohat khoob!

nawaazish :D

4. YouNhi gar , daagh-e-jigar se miree taHSeel rahii :!:
Mira andaaz-e-bayaaN aur nikhar saktaa hai :!:

:D
8)

5. YouN na ho mujh se gureezaN, mire mahtaab-e-jahaaN:!:
Tire gaisoo se ulajh kar hi miraa bakht saNwar saktaa hai :!:

waah waah! mujhe ye shair bohat pasand aaya.

mujhey aap ki ye daad bhi bahut pasand aai. shukriya :D

6. To ne to ishq kiyaa hai, tujhey kyaa gham :Zia: :!:
Basar ab too yeh shab-e-hijr bhi kar saktaa hai:!:


MokhliS : Zia Baloch
bohat khoob zia saahib har shair lajawaab hai zor e qalam aur ziyada.


Saraa ji , aap ka tah-e-dil se mamnoon hoN, k aap ne meri is qadr Hosla-afzaai ki. bahut abhut shukriya

Re: (Final version) Yeh gumaaN jo k tire dil maiN utar sakta

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:24 pm
by Star Mind
Shummu wrote:
Star Mind wrote: 2. To chaman se bhi dabe paaoN guzar,baad-e-saHar
Waraq-e-gul bhi, tire haathoN bikhar saktaa hai :!:

3. Ye jo rakhtaa hai khazeenoN ko, chupaa kar teh maiN
Ye samandar bhi mire dil maiN utar saktaa hai 8)

4. YouNhi gar daagh-e-jigar se miree taHSeel rahi
Mira andaaz-e-bayaaN aur nikhar saktaa hai 8)

5. YouN na ho mujh se gureezaN, mire mahtaab-e-jahaaN :!:
Tire jalvoN se mira bakht saNwar saktaa hai :wink:

7. Na safar kar to, jafaaoN k safeeney maiN kabhi :!:
K wafaaoN ka samandar bhi, biphar saktaa hai :twisted:

8. Tire kooche ki hawaaoN ka acar hai pyaare :twisted:
Tira deevaana bhala kaise sudhar saktaa hai :roll:

9. Qaafila, faSl-e-bahaar-e-rah-e-ulfat ka Sanam
Jaras-e-dil ki Sadaa par hi tiher saktaa hai :!:

MokhliS : Zia Baloch
Wah bahut khoob Zia sahab..aap ki ghazal ke ye ashaar bahut pasand aaye..daad haazir hai..qubool farmaayein :D


Shumaila

Sumaaila SaaHiba, aap ki izzat-afzaai keleye , aap ka nehaayat mamnoon hoN :D . aap ko to taqreeba" sabhi asha'aar hi pasand aaye haiN. matlab k meri meHnat vasol hogai :D . bahut bahut shukriya

MokhliS : Zia Baloch