poet wrote:i dont under estimate any one. but mostly over estimate. so if u r sure u know me then u may keep ur confidence. this does not make any difference to me. but i am sure u dont know me as we have never been across before. and i was use to use different id. but this discussion is useless as we r conserned only with poetry
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
thanks much for the feed back
BTW, maiN ne apnee 2 maqaamaat par jo vazn ke ghalatiyaaN theeN, unheN dursut kar liyaa hai:
1. teree khawaahish ke sire = teree aarzoo ke sab sire...
2. meraa saayah ban ke mere saath rehti hai = meraa saaya ban ke mere saath hi rehti hai
lekin kyaa aap siwaye in 2 maqaamaat ke jin ko maiN ne dursut kar liyaa hai, aap vazn kee ghalati nikaal kar bataa sakte haiN ke nazm aagaaz hi se kahaaN par BE.VAZN hai? aakhir ko ilm seekhne se hi tau aataa hai
again thanks alot!
Naheed
naheed sahiba adab.
wasy too lagta hay jab aap gussay main na hoon too kay aur hamaray khiyalat buhat miltay hain.
ham nay aap ki sari nazm darust kar li hay. idara tha ka post kar dain gay. lakin aap kay lehjay ki talkhi mehsoos kartay howay apna irada tark kar dia.
aap nay doo misroon main joo tabdiliyan ki hain ba ain hi ham nahi bhi wohi ki thin
ab aata hain aap kay pehlay misray ki traf too hairat kay siwa aur kar hi kia saktay hain. aap sirf apni ana kay sabab ikhtilaf farma rahi hain.
aap ki nazm ka pehla misra hay
"apnay aap say bichRay howay"
aap is ki taqtee farmaiy. agar mufaeetun kay wazn par hay too " apnay aap " mufaeelun kasay bana. agar sustafaeelun ka wazn par hay too "apnay aap say " mustafaeelun kasay bana.
aaga aap ki nazm kuch yoon shroo hoo
" khud apnay aap say bichRay howay"
too misra mufaeelun say shroo hoota hay aur nazm ka wazn mufaeelun ban jata hay.
ghoor zaroor farmay ga.
kuch aur bhi muqamat a aah o fugaN hain
aap ki tawajoo chahtay hain.
aajiz koo ijazat
janaab Poet saahab,
sab se pehle tau ye kahooN gee ke meree nazm kaa vazn :maf.oo.laa.t: hai jisey gitigal composition meN :2221: tasavvur kiyaa jaataa hai.
ab aap iss vazn meN meree nazm ko daikheN aur mujhe bataayeN ke ye kahaaN behr se khaarij hai.
poet wrote:joo chahay aap ka husn a karishma saz karay
Poet saahab,
:P
mujhey zeyaadah khushi iss baat se hoti agar aap meree nazm jo ke baqol aap ke "aaghaaz hi se vazn se khaarij hai", ko vaqaai be.behr prove kar dete tau kam az kam iss se aap kee baat kaa bharam tau reh jaataa.
bahar.kaif, aap se chooNke ye pehli guftagoo naheeN thee, (haaN albatta, "poet" se pehli martaba mukhaatib thee ), iss liye maiN aap kee tamaam talkh baateN dar.guzar karti hooN aur ummeed karti hooN ke aa'iNdah aap se aik ache aur suljhe huve maahol meN baat ho gee.
muhtrama naheed sahiba ham aik kam ilm insan hain. hamaray ilm main aap ka bataya howa wazn nahi. albatta aik rukn kay izafay kay sath nazm mufaeelun main aajati hay. shayad ham chand rooz main aap kay batay howay wazn kay baray main kuch kahain.
aik aur bat hamian dar hay ka aap joo hamain smajah rahi hain woo ghlat hay. agar aap haiam pm kar kay bata dain too agar aap darust hoin too ham tasleem kar lain gay. ya hamara aap say wada hay.
aur ham aap kay pm ka intizar karain gay.
Farz keejiye pahle meisreA meiN:
faa'ilaa'tun fa'ilaatun
Doosre misreA meiN
fa'ilaatun
teesre misreA meiN fe'lun
(phir isi daayire ko qaayim rakhte houe)
chauthe misreA meiN faa'ilaatun
panchweN misreA meiN fa'ilaa'tun
aur chaTe miSreA meiN fa'ilaatun....fe'lun
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Is Tarah se beHr ke daayire ko TooTnaa nahiN chaahiye. (yeh meri shakhsi raaye aur raghbat hei, is se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.)
Baharhaal khayaalaat ke iAibaar se mujhe aapki nazm bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
adab nazar sahib
ham say rabitay ka sooch rahay thay lakin masroofiyat nay hamain ijazat na di.
ham bhi is nazm kay wazn kay baray main kuch arz kar kuchkay hian aur naheed sahiba nay us ki kuch toojih bhi peesh ki hay. agar aap aik nazar us koo bhi daikh lain too ham aap kay mamnoon hoo gain.
ham ya jan'na chahtay hain ka ham kis had tak darust hain
poet
