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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:20 pm
by najma
Mahtab Qadr wrote:ham se jaaya na gaya
un se bhagaaya na gaya
un/gay
in do me se kisi lafz se shuru karna tha,aap ne =hay=seshurukiya hay.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:29 pm
by Mahtab Qadr
sher to tafreeh e taba ke taur par likh dia tha magar aap chahti haiN to isi tarah chaliye aap ki baat par amal karte haiN :)
un se bhagaya na gaya
ham se jaaya na gaya.
"ham"
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:31 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
ham ko manzil tou kujaa koiee nishaaN tak nah milaa,
qaafilah aaj bhii hei garm-e-safar kyaa keeje.
qaafilah / keeje
Nazir.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:37 pm
by najma
qaflay manzil pe aaa k luT gaey
manzilon k faaslon se poochiye
manzil/ poochiye
manzil
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:05 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
manzil-e-shauq kii jaanib thay ravaaN ham lekin
raahbar jis ko samajhte thay wo rehzan niklaa.
raahbar / niklaa
Nazir.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:17 pm
by najma
rah-bar samajh liya hay tuje, gard-e-karawaaN!
chalte raheN gay ham bhi, jahaaN tak Ghubaar hay
najma
chalte/hay
"chalte"
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:34 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
chalte rahenge jaanib-e-mazil hameshah saath
dushwaar raastah hei tou rehne bhii deejiye.
( /dushwaar / deejiye )
Nazir.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:40 pm
by najma
baRe wucuuq se dunya fareb detii rahii
baRe khuloos se ham e,tibar karte rahay
shaukat wastii
baRe/ rahay
"baRe"
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:54 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
baRe Haseen thay alfaaz us sitamgar ke
wafaa kaa naam liyaa aur be-wafaayii kii.
{wafaa / kii)
Nazir.
Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:57 pm
by najma
wafa ka nam zamane meiN hogaya nayab
ye ach,cha kaam zamane meiN hogaya nayab
najma
ye/ nayab
"ye"
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:07 am
by Abdullah Nazir
yeh zindagi bhi Ajab imtihaaN hei dunyaa meiN
qareeb jiske maiN houtaa hooN, door houtaa hei.
"ye"
Nazir.
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:10 am
by najma
yaqeen karne ko karloon maiN unki batoN par
magar wo roz naee baat suna detay haiN
najma
magar/ haiN
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 10:13 pm
by najma
mere dil ki dhaRkanoN se tira Gham hay aashkaaraa
keh yehii Gham-e-mohabbat mire dil ka hay sahaaraa
najma
keh/sahaaraa
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:56 am
by najma
sara_j wrote:kaha betaab hoker meri rooh-e-jawaidaani se
keh haasil roshni ker is fazaaye aasmaani se
hmmmmmmmm :P
aap ne sher ko -------
ab bataiyye ham =say=se she,r kahaan se laeiN?
Daal diyana uljhan meiN--------------
acha sochen gay
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 6:22 pm
by najma
sara_j wrote:najjo ji aapke liye aek shair bilkul taza ustadji ke qalam se
keh bhool jaaouN na maiN apni baat us ne kahaa
khayaal rakhyiye ke milnaa zaroor hei kal bhii
khayaal / bhii
hmmmm
ye huee na baaaaat ustadanah
khayal-e-yaar ne choRaa na saath jeetay-jee
gayaa, to saath mirii ruuh ka dhuwaaN lekar
nafis ahmad siddiqui
gaya/le-kar