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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:49 pm
by Shummu
aag hai pani hai mitti hai hawa hai mujh mein
aur phir man_na padta hai ki khuda hai mujh mein
aur/meiN
Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:12 am
by Hashmat Usmani
maiN
maiN huuN aur afsurdagii kii aarzoo, Ghaalib!" ki dil
dekh kar tarz-e-tapaak-e-ai'hl-e-dunyaa jal gayaa?
Ghaalib
lafze-e-"dekh" ya lafz-e-"gayaa" se agla she'r marHamat farmaaiye, shukria.
Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:14 pm
by Shummu
log thak haar ke so jaate haiN lekin jaanaaN
humne khush ho ke tera dard sahaa shaam ke baad!!!
HUMNE/BAAD
Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:54 am
by Hashmat Usmani
ham
ham the marne ko khaRe, paas na aayaa na sahii
aaKhir us shoKh ke tarkash meN koii teer bhii thaa?
Ghaalib
lafze-e-"thaa" ya lafz-e-"aaKhir/aKheer" se agla she'r marHamat farmaaiye, shukria.
Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:53 pm
by Shummu
oops maine bhi sher likh diya tha aakhir se... maine delete kar diya :)
nahi us LAFZ se SHURU hona chaahiye :D
Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 4:34 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
thaa zindagi meiN maut ka khaTkaa lagaa hua
uRne se peshtar bhi miraa raNg zard tha
uRne / tha
Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 4:03 pm
by Shummu
tha ab tak maa'rka baahar ka darpesh
abhi to ghar bhi jaana hai yahaaN se
abhi/se
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 3:58 am
by Hashmat Usmani
abhii
abhii aatii hai boo! baaliiN se uskii zulf-e-mushkiiN kii
hamaarii diid ko Khowaab-e-ZulaiKha, 'aar-e-bistar hai?
Ghaalib
lafze-e-"hamaarii" ya lafz-e-"hai" se agla she'r marHamat farmaaiye, shukria.
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 4:56 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
hai mujh pe taa'na zan khud mera aHsaas
tamanna apni qeemat kho rahi hai
khusha ye tarz-e-taa'zeem-e-mohabbat
ye taa'zeem-e-mohabbat ho rahi hai
gham-e-furqat ka shikva karne vaali
meri maujoodgi meiN so rahi hai :D :D
Jaun Eliya
meri / hai
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:06 am
by Hashmat Usmani
hai
hai bas_ki har ik unke ishaare meN nishaaN aur
karte haiN moHabbat to guzartaa hai gumaaN aur?
Ghaalib
lafze-e-"karte" ya lafz-e-"aur" se agla she'r marHamat farmaaiye, shukria.
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 8:18 pm
by Shummu
Aur Kab Tak Bhool Payein Gey Na Teri Daastaan
Zikr Mera Hi Rahey Ga Tere Afsaaney Kay Baad
Zikr/Baad
Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 8:03 pm
by Ibn-e-siddique
gayaa daur-e-sarmaaya daari gayaa
tamaasha dikha ke madaari gayaa
tamaasha / gayaa
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2005 12:26 pm
by Shummu
tamasha na ban jaaye kahin mohabbat meri
isi liye apne dard ko namoodaar nahi karti
ISI/KARTI
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:51 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
abhi abhi tumheN socha to kuch na yaad aaya
abhi abhi ham ik doosre se bichRe the
A.N.Qasmi
abhi / the
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 7:13 am
by Hashmat Usmani
salaam Saara,
aapke she'r ke dusre misr'e ke pahle ya aaKhrii lafz se she'r mujhe denaa hogaa aur vo alfaaz haiN "abhii" ya "se". ab lafz-e-"SE" se to koii she'r shur'uu hone se rahaa is liye lafz-e-"abhi" se she'r 'arz hai:
abhii
abhii ham qatl_geh ka dekhnaa aasaaN samajhte haiN
nahiiN dekhaa sanaa dar joo-e-KhuuN meN tere tausan ko?
Ghaalib
lafze-e-"nahiiN" ya lafz-e-"ko" se agla she'r marHamat farmaaiye, shukria.