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Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 12:53 am
by najma
dunya sahiba!
aap k do kalam pehle bhi paRh chukii hooN.bohat umdah, bohat rawaaN.un ke bar aks ap ki is ghazal ki behr shayad mere liye naee hay.
aur shayad isii liye misr,e samajhnemeiN mujhe hi diqqat aarahii hay,warna aap k itne pukhta kalam dekhne k ba,d apki is ghazal ko maiN kese keh saktii hooN keh auzan meiN farq hay. :grin:
dar asl abhi maiN ne hi is behr meiN tab,a aazmaaee nahii kii.


2- kab tak yeh siyah shab-e-alam (shab-e-alam ye siyaah kab tak?)
aanaa hei mirii seHar tou aa


3- tujhko tou diyaa hei maiN ne dil
tuu bhii kabhi mere ghar tou aa


she,r 3=yahaaN ''to'' ki takraar nazar aarahi hay

such janiye to dunya sahiba!
aap ke itne pukhtah kalam dekhne ke ba,d
kuch yuuN laga kehaap hamara imtihaanle rahii haiN kya? :grin: :grin:

aap k jawab ka intizar rahega kyuuN -k ham waqaeee seekhna chahte haiN.
khair andesh
najma
:grin:

Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 4:56 am
by Star Mind
moHtarama Dunya SaaHiba, aadaab :)

aap se shaayad pehlee baar ham-kalaam hone ki sa'aadat HaaSil horahee hai, aap ka kalaam dekh kar ham aap ki puKhta-mashqi k qaai'l hogaye :)

Ghazal maiN aek DUNYAA aabaad hai :-)

hamaari jaanib se DheroN daad qabool kejeye . bahut bahut shukriya :)

moKhliS : Zai Baloch :)

Re: Aek taazah ghazal baraaye islaaH. Dunya.

Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 7:59 am
by Mahtab Qadr
Dunya Dehlavi sahiba
aadaab
Ghazal khoobsurat hai, magar hameiN mushafi ka sher bhi yaad hai, ke

aye mushafi tum un se mohabbat na ki jio
zalim ghazab ki hoti haiN ye dilli waaliaaaN

:)
Mahtab Qadr
dunya wrote:

DoustoN,

Aek ghazal baraye islaah peshe khidmat hei.
Ummeed ke apni islah se navazenge.

Ghazal:

1- Aiy jaan-e-jahaaN idhar tou aa
chilman meiN sahii nazar tou aa

2- kab tak yeh siyah shab-e-alam
aanaa hei mirii seHar tou aa

3- tujhko tou diyaa hei maiN ne dil
tuu bhii kabhi mere ghar tou aa

4- Sadqe maiN tire jamaal ke
tuu hii hei miraa guhar tou aa

5- :Dunya: ke liye bawaqt-e-shab
jee chaahe tiraa qamar tou aa

Khair andesh,
Dunya