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aik nazm : Adhoori baateN
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:45 pm
by Ibn-e-siddique
adhoori baateN
koii paiemaan-e-mohabbat nahiN baandha tum se
jaane kyuN phir bhi samajhta hooN main khud ko mujrim
tum se hoti theeN jo her roz adhoori baateN
kia zaroori hai ke aaj unko mukammal kar leN ?
......................................
zakhm-e-dil apna dikhaane meiN buraaii kia thi
ishq ki jaut jalaane meiN buraaii kia thi
Haal-e-dil apna sunaane meiN buraaii kia thi
ye bataao ke bataane meiN buraaii kia thi
ho sake gar to savaaloN ka javaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
ahd-e-maazi ki sunaati ho kahaani mujhko
is taraH roz tum ik jabr nayaa karti ho
kal talak dekhna mujh ko na gavaara tha tumheN
aaj milti ho to iqraar-e-vafaa karti ho?
daastaaN jis meiN raqam thi voh kitaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
mujh per hota jo bharosa to mohabbat hoti
dil dukhaaya nahiN hota to mohabbat hoti
khauf dunya ka na hota to mohabbat hoti
tum ne samjhaa mujhe hota to mohabbat hoti
chaman-e-dil meiN khile the jo gulaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
ab mohabbat ki voh saughaat kahaaN se laauN
ye bataao ke voh jazbaat kahaaN se laauN
her ghaRee rehta tha andesha tumheN khone ka
voh ghaRee aur voh lamHaat kahaaN se laauN
koii taa'beer nahiN jin ki voh khwaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
ashk-e-gham aaNkh se ab mere Tapaktaa hi nahiN
dard koii bhi mire dil meiN panaptaa hi nahiN
maqsad-e-zeest kabhi thaa ke tumheN paauN magar
koii aHsaas-e-ziyaaN ab ke khaTaktaa hi nahiN
"be.vafaa" ka miree jaaN mujh ko khitaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
............................
tum se hoti theeN jo her roz adhoori baateN
kia zaroori hai ke aaj unko mukammal kar leN ?
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:17 pm
by Mahtab Qadr
Wah wah nazm ka jawab nahi , mujhe aisa laga ke mai apne mizaj ki shayeri parh raha hoN, bahut khoob jo shayeri dil se nikalti hai vo yaqeenan diloN par asarandaaz hoti hai, nazm ki jazbatiat aur rawaani donoN ne aik haseen imtezaj paida kia hai. shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Bahut khoob waah waah
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 5:24 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Amjad Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, 
Aapki nazm behad pasand aayi. Saare ashAar bahut hii suljhe houe heiN jinko paRhkar aapki shaayeranah mahaarat kaa patah chaltaa hei.
Is dlkash aur dilgudaaz takhleeq per khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:33 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Mahtab Qadr wrote:Wah wah nazm ka jawab nahi , mujhe aisa laga ke mai apne mizaj ki shayeri parh raha hoN, bahut khoob jo shayeri dil se nikalti hai vo yaqeenan diloN par asarandaaz hoti hai, nazm ki jazbatiat aur rawaani donoN ne aik haseen imtezaj paida kia hai. shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Mahtab saHib
salaam arz hai
aap ne itni pazeeraai farmaai, aur nazm ko itna pasand farmaaya, us ke liye maiN dil se aap ka mamnoon hooN
aur ye nazm aap ko apne mizaaj ki lagee, ye jaan ker bhi acha lagaa
umeed hai aainda bhi yooNhi Hosla afzaai farmaate raheN ge
bahot bahot shukria
amjad
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:03 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
sara_j wrote:Amjad saahib,
adaab arz hai.
waah aapki nazm tou bohat pasand aayi, bas wah wah karke paRhti rahi
"be.vafaa" ka miree jaaN mujh ko khitaab ab de do
mere guzre hue saaloN ka Hisaab ab de do
bohat ache!
sara saHiba
salaam arz hai
mujhe bahot khushi hui ke aap ko meri ye kawish pasand aayee :)
aap ki daad-o-sitaaish aur pazeeraai ke liye bahot bahot shukria
amjad
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:36 pm
by Sarwar A. Raz
Amjad SaaHeb: aadaab!
teen haftoN ke ba'd kal hee gh`ar waapas aayaa hooN. aap kee naz^m aaj dekh`ee aur pasand aayee. daad HaaZ^ir hai. jazbaat aur un kaa bayaan dilkash haiN. maashaa-Allah! haaN, agar :ab de do: ko badal kar koyee aur fiqrah kar sakeN to meraa Khayaal hai keh nazm kaa waqaar nikh`ar jaaYe gaa. yeh Sirf meree raaYe hai.
Sarwar A. Raz
Re: Bahut khoob waah waah
Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:39 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami
Amjad Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki nazm behad pasand aayi. Saare ashAar bahut hii suljhe houe heiN jinko paRhkar aapki shaayeranah mahaarat kaa patah chaltaa hei.
Is dlkash aur dilgudaaz takhleeq per khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Mohtaram Abdullah Nazir saHib
salaam arz hai
aap jaise ustaad shaa'ir ko agar meri ye nazm pasand aayee hai to yaqeenan is se baRh ker mere liye khushi ki baat kia hogi.
aap ke in alfaaz aur is pazeeraai ke liye maiN dil se aap ka mamnoon hooN.
agar aap yooNHi Hosla afzaai farmaate raheN ge to yaqeenan mujhe aur mere jaise deegar nau.aamoz shoaraa ko maidaan-e-sukhan meiN aage baRhne ka mauqa mile ga
aap ka bahot bahot shukria
amjad
Re: aik nazm : Adhoori baateN
Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:30 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Hashmat saHib
salaam arz hai
Hashmat Usmani wrote:salaam Amjad Bhaiye,
aapne to muijhe hii kar diyaa...aisii nazm likh kar aapne waqa'ii dil par dastak de dii.
shukria janaab, hamaari is nazm ne aap ko meHzooz kia, ye jaan ker hameN khushi hui :)
ba_Khuda mujhe aapkii yeh nazm paRh kar mujhe Iqbal kaa "shikwa" yaad aa gayaa...maiN ne aapkii poorii nazm usii andaaz meN gungunaaii jis andaaz meN maiN aksar "shikva aur jawaab-e-shikva" gungunaayaa kartaa huN. aapkii nazm ne dil par ek gahra asar chhoRaa hai jisko paRhne ke ba'd taa_der maiN sochtaa rahaa...unhiiN KhayaaloN meN gum ho rahaa...yehii ek achchhi aur kaamiiyaab nazm kii daleel hai ki qaarii ke dil emN utar jaaye aur vo paRhne ke ba'd taa_der sochtaa rahe...ek ek lafz ke baare emN soche...
vaah janaab, ye baat to aur bhi dilchasp hai, aur mere liye baaic-e-masarrat bhi ke aap ne is nazm ko gun.gunaa ker paRhaa, Huzoor kabhi hameN bhi sunaaiye ga ke kis taraH paRha ;)
"shikva , javaab-e-shikva' ki bhi yehi beHr hai, isi liye yaqeenan aap ko usi dhun mein paRhne mein aasaani hui hogi
aapkii nazm meN be_intehaa karb hai...aapne baRe Khoobsoorat andaaz meN nazm ke Khawaas ko barta hai...amjad bhai...aapne mujhe is nazm ke zarii'ye apna mo'taqid banaa liyaa hai...aapkii shaa'irii ka to maiN pahle hii qaa'il thaa. Allah kare aap yuNhii likhte raheN aur ham yuN hii paRhte raheN...ba_Khuda aapne hamaaraa dil jeet liyaa. i am speech-less. sach maaniiye jab maiN ne yeh page khola thaa tio maiN ne aisii koii cheez expect nahiN kii thii magar pahli line hii paRh kar lagaa ki baRe paaye kii nazm hai. aaKhirii band mujhe be_Had pasand aayaa...be_Had...be_Had...
janaab ye aap ka Husn-e-nazar hai jo itni pazeeraai farmaa rahe haiN. varna janaab khaaksaar is qaabil kahaaN ke kisi ko mo'taid banaa sake ;), ye hargiz kasr-e-nafsi nahin hai.
phir bhi aap ne itni daad-o-tehseen se navaaza, is qadar pazeeraai farmaai, aur is adnaa si kaavish ko itna pasand farmaaya, maiN dil se aap ka mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hooN
aap ka bahot bahot shukria :)
amjad
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 7:44 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Sarwar Raz wrote:Amjad SaaHeb: aadaab!
teen haftoN ke ba'd kal hee gh`ar waapas aayaa hooN. aap kee naz^m aaj dekh`ee aur pasand aayee. daad HaaZ^ir hai. jazbaat aur un kaa bayaan dilkash haiN. maashaa-Allah! haaN, agar :ab de do: ko badal kar koyee aur fiqrah kar sakeN to meraa Khayaal hai keh nazm kaa waqaar nikh`ar jaaYe gaa. yeh Sirf meree raaYe hai.
Sarwar A. Raz
Mohtaram sarwar saHib
salaam arz hai
aap ne is nazm ko pasand farmaaya, hameN aur duniya se kia chaahiye :)
aap ki daad mere liye sanad ka darja rakhti hai bahot bahot shukria.
aap ne jo tajveez di hai, maiN us per zaroor ghaur karooN ga inshallah
Amjad