Page 1 of 1
Jurm-e-Dosti
Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 8:04 am
by Steve Almas
Aadab-o-Niaz
Aik taza kalam ke sath hazir hooa hoon, to leejiye Pesh-e-khidmat he. Iss ghazal mein mein ne zindagi ki kuch sachaiuon ko ahata kerney ki koshash ki he. faisla aap per he keh kamyab hooa hoon keh nahein.
Steve Almas
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:13 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
steve almas saHib
aadaab arz hai
aap ki ghazal abhi abhi nazar navaaz hui. mazaameen to ache haiN, magar ghazal ke ash'aar paRh ker ye andaaza ho rahaa hai ke aap ne matle ke misra-e-oola meiN umr ko umer aur she'r no. chaar ke misra-e-caani meiN hijr ko hijer ke vazn per baaNdha hai.
deegar ash'aar ache haiN, daad qubool keejiye
amjad
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 12:06 pm
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Almas SaaHeb:aadaab!
hamaaree Urdu meHfiloN kaa baRaa almiyyah yeh hai keh log rasmee waah-waah kar ke aur chand baNdh`e-Take jumle likh` kar samajh`te haiN keh tabSirah kaa farZ^ adaa kar diyaa. aap Khush-qismat haiN keh Amjad SaaHeb jaise shaa,i'r aap ke kalaam par likh`te haiN. waqt kee kamee kee vajh se woh tafSeel se naheeN likh` sake warnah mere kuch` kehne kee Z^aroorat nah hotee.
aap ke Khayaalaat hameshah hee achh`e hote haiN. albattah bayaan meN kamee hotee hai. waqt, mut^aalia'h aur meHnat ke saath` yeh bh`ee behtar ho jaaYe gee. do ek baateN maiN likh`taa hooN. Ghazal par ek aur naz^ar Daal leN to harjh naheeN hai:
--------------------------------------------
(1) Amjad likh` hee chuke haiN keh SaHeeH alfaaz^ :u'mr: aur :hijr: haiN nah keh :u'mar: aur :jijar: in ko durust kar leN, jaise
hamaaree u'mr guZree hai yeh jurm----------
wafaa ----------
(2) aap :tere: aur :tire: waGhairah meN farq kiyaa kareN. is se wazn SaHeeH ho jaaYe gaa. she'r #2 kaa pehlaa lafz^ :tiree: honaa chaahiYe.
(3) aap ash,a'ar keh kar un kee nacr (prose) banaa kar dekh` liyaa kareN. is se bayaan meN Safaayee aaYe gee aur apnee Ghalat^iyaaN z^aahir ho jaaYeN gee. aap kaa bayaan kaheeN kaheeN ulajh jaataa hai aur kaheeN naa-mukammal bh`ee reh jaataa hai. she'r #2 aur 5 is kaa namoonah haiN.
(4) aap ke ba'Z^ ash,a'ar bohat hee Khoob haiN, jaise #3, 6. aap ne #6 meN :nah: ko :naa: baaNdh`aa hai jo durust naheeN hai. is ko yooN kar sakte haiN:
madaavah kar sake kab woh mire TooTe huwe dil kaa
huyee muddat----------------
daad HaaZ^ir hai.
aap meN shaa,i'ree kee bohat SalaaHiyat hai. likh`te rahiYe aur meHnat jaaree rakh`iYe.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 7:27 am
by Steve Almas
steve almas saHib
aadaab arz hai
aap ki ghazal abhi abhi nazar navaaz hui. mazaameen to ache haiN, magar ghazal ke ash'aar paRh ker ye andaaza ho rahaa hai ke aap ne matle ke misra-e-oola meiN umr ko umer aur she'r no. chaar ke misra-e-caani meiN hijr ko hijer ke vazn per baaNdha hai.
deegar ash'aar ache haiN, daad qubool keejiye
amjad
Amjad Sahib
Bohat aadab 
Aapki ki nishandahi nihait sahi thi, Jinein mein ne phir se theek kerney ke ilava aour bhi chand tabdeelian ki hein, Zaroor dekh lijiye ga.
Daad ke liye bhi shukriya qabool kijiye
Mukhlis
Steve Almas
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 7:40 am
by Steve Almas
mukarramee Almas SaaHeb:aadaab!
hamaaree Urdu meHfiloN kaa baRaa almiyyah yeh hai keh log rasmee waah-waah kar ke aur chand baNdh`e-Take jumle likh` kar samajh`te haiN keh tabSirah kaa farZ^ adaa kar diyaa. aap Khush-qismat haiN keh Amjad SaaHeb jaise shaa,i'r aap ke kalaam par likh`te haiN. waqt kee kamee kee vajh se woh tafSeel se naheeN likh` sake warnah mere kuch` kehne kee Z^aroorat nah hotee.
aap ke Khayaalaat hameshah hee achh`e hote haiN. albattah bayaan meN kamee hotee hai. waqt, mut^aalia'h aur meHnat ke saath` yeh bh`ee behtar ho jaaYe gee. do ek baateN maiN likh`taa hooN. Ghazal par ek aur naz^ar Daal leN to harjh naheeN hai:
--------------------------------------------
(1) Amjad likh` hee chuke haiN keh SaHeeH alfaaz^ :u'mr: aur :hijr: haiN nah keh :u'mar: aur :jijar: in ko durust kar leN, jaise
hamaaree u'mr guZree hai yeh jurm----------
wafaa ----------
(2) aap :tere: aur :tire: waGhairah meN farq kiyaa kareN. is se wazn SaHeeH ho jaaYe gaa. she'r #2 kaa pehlaa lafz^ :tiree: honaa chaahiYe.
(3) aap ash,a'ar keh kar un kee nacr (prose) banaa kar dekh` liyaa kareN. is se bayaan meN Safaayee aaYe gee aur apnee Ghalat^iyaaN z^aahir ho jaaYeN gee. aap kaa bayaan kaheeN kaheeN ulajh jaataa hai aur kaheeN naa-mukammal bh`ee reh jaataa hai. she'r #2 aur 5 is kaa namoonah haiN.
(4) aap ke ba'Z^ ash,a'ar bohat hee Khoob haiN, jaise #3, 6. aap ne #6 meN :nah: ko :naa: baaNdh`aa hai jo durust naheeN hai. is ko yooN kar sakte haiN:
madaavah kar sake kab woh mire TooTe huwe dil kaa
huyee muddat----------------
daad HaaZ^ir hai.
aap meN shaa,i'ree kee bohat SalaaHiyat hai. likh`te rahiYe aur meHnat jaaree rakh`iYe.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Janab Sarwar Saahib
Aadab...
Zahe naseeb, mudat ke ba'ad phir aapki nazar-e-karm hooi, Dekh ker khushi hooi, 
Aapki batai chand aik tabdeelion ke ilava kuch aour bhi rado badal aapko dekhne ko mile ga,
Aapki islah aour daad bhi dil se qabool he
Shukriya
Steve Almas
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 9:58 am
by rahmed25682
Salam Steve Almas sahab ..
aap kee ghazal parhy .. yaqeen maaniye bohat umda khayalat ka aik khoobsurat guldasta maloom huee. Yaqeenan is main kuch islaahaat kee gunjaaish hogy jis kee nishandahi SARWAR sahab ker chukay hain,kion ye kaam aik USTAAD he ba-khoobi ker sakta hay.
ALLAH KARAY ZOR-e-QALAM AUR ZIADA
Khush rahain
Khair Andesh
Raheel Ahmed
Jurm-e-Dosti
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 5:08 pm
by Steve Almas
Salam Steve Almas sahab ..
aap kee ghazal parhy .. yaqeen maaniye bohat umda khayalat ka aik khoobsurat guldasta maloom huee. Yaqeenan is main kuch islaahaat kee gunjaaish hogy jis kee nishandahi SARWAR sahab ker chukay hain,kion ye kaam aik USTAAD he ba-khoobi ker sakta hay.
ALLAH KARAY ZOR-e-QALAM AUR ZIADA
Khush rahain
Khair Andesh
Raheel Ahmed
Raheel Ahmad Ji
Aadab-o-Niaz
Ghazal per aap ki nazar-e-karam hooi, Bohat shukriya
Aap ne baja kaha he, Likhtey waqt ki khamiyan Ustadon ki nazar mein jald aati hein aour yeh hamarey Sarwar saahib ki Shafqat he keh unhon ne waqt nikal ke iss ki nishan dahi ker di. Mein ne un Alfaz ki bandash ke ilava bhi chand aik aour tabdeeliyan ki hein, Umeed he aap ne zaroor dekhe hongi. daad ka bohat bohat shukriya.
apna khayal rakha kijiye, Yaqeenan mulaqat hoti rahe gi...
Mukhlis
Steve Almas
Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:55 am
by Star Mind
Huzoor aaKhir kaar ham bhi aa hi gaye
kaise haiN aap?
janaab , Ghazal to aap ki jaa-jawaab hai ! maashaa Allah bohut hi achche mazaameen aap ne nazm keye haiN !
mujhe aap ki poori Ghazal pasand aayee Khaas tor par woh ash'aar jinheN Sarwar SaaHib ne Qoute farmaayaa !
so daad Haazir hai qabool kejeye !
shukriya
moKhliS : Zia Baloch
Bahut khoob
Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:34 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Steve Almaas Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi khaskar tarmeem shudah Haalat meiN. Bahut hii achche mazaameen heiN aur saare ashAar bahut hii dilkash heiN.
Meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiyhe.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Jurm-e-Dosti
Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 2:52 am
by Steve Almas
Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:00 am
by Steve Almas
MuHtarami
Steve Almaas Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi khaskar tarmeem shudah Haalat meiN. Bahut hii achche mazaameen heiN aur saare ashAar bahut hii dilkash heiN.
Meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiyhe.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Mohtram Nazir Saahib
Aadab
Aapki Hosla afzai aour dili mohabbat ka mamnoon hoon, Ghazal pasand aai jis ke liye bohat shukriya qabool kijye.
Apna khiyal rakhiye ga
Steve Almas
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:44 am
by Steve Almas