aadaab,

ye aik choTi si nazm le kar aa 'ee hooN, umeed hai pasaNd aa'e gee.


buhat shukriya!
Naheed

Naheed: aadaab

aap kee yeh naz^m dekh`ee aur is ke jazbaat se bohat muta,accir huwaa. jaisaa keh aap ko ma'loom hai, aazaad shaai'ree par meree ma'loomaat :naheeN: se bh`ee kam haiN! is Sinf-e-suKhan meN fikr kaa kyaa sawaal hai jab.k aaj tak is ke rumooz se hee pooree t^araH waaqif naheeN ho sakaa! kyaa hee achh`aa ho keh aap yaa koyee aur is mauZ^oo' par raushanee Daale, aazaad naz^m kee takneekee baareekiyoN aur is ke auzaan, tasalsul aur miSro'N kee ham-aahangee ke nikaat bayaan kare taa.k doosre bh`ee is kee jaanib tavajjuh kar sakeN.

yeh sab Sirf is liYe keh rahaa hooN keh maiN puraane maktab kaa paRhaa huwaa shaai'r jab aazaad naz^m paRhtaa hooN to us meN wazn, beHr aur zer-o-bam (rhythm) DhooNDtaa hooN aur akcar apnee be-i'lmee kaa e'tiraaf kar ke reh jaataa hooN. aap ke Khayaalaat aur un kaa izhaar bohat dilkash hai aur kisee Zehnee karb kee a'laamat hai jo ek shaai'rah kee Haiciyyat se aap meHsoos kar rahee haiN. yeh karb agar maiN bh`ee usee shiddat se meHsoos kar sakooN to zahe naSeeb! lekin meree be-i'lmee is meN Haa,il hai!

ab aap yeh kareN keh inheeN jazbaat ko ek muKhtaSar see paaband naz^m yaa qit^e kee shakl meN kaheN! dekh`eN kyaa farq meHsoos hotaa hai.

ek achh`ee jazbaatee naz^m par meree naacheez daad pesh-e-Khidmat hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
=============================
be.yaqeeN shaamoN kee tanhaa'ee meiN ab bhee
be.Sadaa SubhoN kee pehnaa'ee meiN ab bhee
mere aNdar se ko'ee tujh ko
tasalsal se bulaataa hai
magar furqat kee sil haTti naheeN hai
(dhuNd chaTti hi naheeN hai)

apne dil kee be.basi
na ro sakooN, na keh sakooN

muntazar aaNkhoN meiN akcar
ashk chubhne lagtey heiN
inn meiN gulaabi raNg
sajne lagtey heiN
tere liye hum phir
bikharne lagte heiN!!

Sarwar Raz wrote:Naheed: aadaab

aap kee yeh naz^m dekh`ee aur is ke jazbaat se bohat muta,accir huwaa. jaisaa keh aap ko ma'loom hai, aazaad shaai'ree par meree ma'loomaat :naheeN: se bh`ee kam haiN! is Sinf-e-suKhan meN fikr kaa kyaa sawaal hai jab.k aaj tak is ke rumooz se hee pooree t^araH waaqif naheeN ho sakaa! kyaa hee achh`aa ho keh aap yaa koyee aur is mauZ^oo' par raushanee Daale, aazaad naz^m kee takneekee baareekiyoN aur is ke auzaan, tasalsul aur miSro'N kee ham-aahangee ke nikaat bayaan kare taa.k doosre bh`ee is kee jaanib tavajjuh kar sakeN.

yeh sab Sirf is liYe keh rahaa hooN keh maiN puraane maktab kaa paRhaa huwaa shaai'r jab aazaad naz^m paRhtaa hooN to us meN wazn, beHr aur zer-o-bam (rhythm) DhooNDtaa hooN aur akcar apnee be-i'lmee kaa e'tiraaf kar ke reh jaataa hooN. aap ke Khayaalaat aur un kaa izhaar bohat dilkash hai aur kisee Zehnee karb kee a'laamat hai jo ek shaai'rah kee Haiciyyat se aap meHsoos kar rahee haiN. yeh karb agar maiN bh`ee usee shiddat se meHsoos kar sakooN to zahe naSeeb! lekin meree be-i'lmee is meN Haa,il hai!

ab aap yeh kareN keh inheeN jazbaat ko ek muKhtaSar see paaband naz^m yaa qit^e kee shakl meN kaheN! dekh`eN kyaa farq meHsoos hotaa hai.

ek achh`ee jazbaatee naz^m par meree naacheez daad pesh-e-Khidmat hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
=============================

Mohtarmi janaab Sarwar saahab,

aap ki muhabbat ki maiN hamesha hi ehsaan maNd rahi hooN.
maiN jaanti hooN ke aap ke haaN nazm kaa itnaa mavaad naheeN hai aur maiN tau yahi kahooN gee ke aazaad nazm ko maiN khud bhee seekhane ki koshish kar rahi hooN.
jahaaN tak aazaad nazm ke silsile meiN meree ma'loomaat heiN tau voh bhee khaasi mehdood heiN. siwaa'e chaND ehm naqaat ke jin ko maiN follow karne kee koshish karti hooN.
uss meiN aik tau ye ke poorii nazm vazn meiN ho, aur khayaalaat kaa tasalsal mojood ho. ma'ni ke lehaaz se misre' choTe baRe ho sakte heiN magar un kaa vazn bar.qaraar rehnaa chaahiye.
maiN iss qaabil hoti ke maiN iss par koee mazmoon likh sakti tau iss se baRh kar mere liye aur kyaa khushi ki baat hoti, lekin maiN Dawood Rizwan saahab se guzaarish karoON gee ke agar voh aisaa kar sakeN tau kiyoN ke un ki nazm par khaasi dastaras hai.

aap ne iss ke baa.vajood bhee ke aap ko nazm samajh meiN naheeN aa'e, magar aap ne jazbaat ko saraahaa hai tau mere liye ye ai'zaaz ki baat hai, maiN koshish karooN gee ke isey aik paabaNd nazm meiN agar keh sakooN tau.
buhat shukriay!

duaa'oN meiN yaad rakhiye gaa!
mukhlis
Naheed

sara_j wrote:Naheed ji,

salam.

aapki nazm aur usme pesh kiye khayaalat mujhe bhi bohat pasand aaye. daad qubool keekjiye,

aapka majmua kab tak taiyyar hoga? humien intezar hai.

sara

Sara ji,

nazm pasaNd karne kaa buhat buhat shukriya!

Naheed

Hashmat Usmani wrote:salaam moHtaramah Naaheed saaHiba,

aapkii "aazaad" nazm paRhii aur bahot pasand bhii aayii magar kia kahuuN ,ajbooran yehii kahtaa huuN ki maiN bhi aapkii aur moHtaram Sarwar saaHib kii taraH is sinf-e-shaa'irii ke rumooz se qata'ii na_balad huuN. maiN ne bhi hamesha riyaayatii suKhan goyii hii pasand kii hai...maiN ne Khud ko hamesha aazaad shaa'irii se door hii rakkha magar Haal meN chand ek achchhi aazaad nazmeN paRh kar shauq ho rahaa hai ki is sinf meN bhii kuchh ma'loomaat faraaham karuuN aur Khud bhi kabhi tab'a aazmaayii karuuN. be-shak yeh amr ek taveel waqt-talab hai. insha Allah jald hii kuchh mavaad ikaTTha kar ke aap aih'l e zauq ke saamne pesh karuuNga.

ek kaamiyaad nazm ke liye merii taraf se Dher saarii mubaarak_baad aur daad qubool farmaaiye.

faqat naa_cheez,

Hashmat

Mohtaram Hashmat saahab,
aadaab,

deir se jawaab dene ke liye ma'zarat chaahati hooN.

aap ne ye nazm pasaNd farmaa'ee, iss ke liye meraa shukriya qubool kijiye!

aap bhee iss sinf meiN taba'q aazmaa'ee kaa iraadah rakhte heiN, ye jaan kar khushii hu'ee. mujhey aap kee aazaad nazm kaa intezaar rahe gaa.

buhat shukriya
Naheed

Star Mind wrote:Assalam-o-a'laikum,

moHtarama Naheed jee,

aap ki yeh nazm bhi hameN hamesha ki tarah jee jaan se pasand aayee , aur kaise na aati k khayaalat ki wahi di-kashi , alfaaz ka wahi Husn-e-intikhaab, andaaz-e-bayaaN maiN wahi bolta jaado . kaheN to kyaa kaheN? . yaqeen jaaneye hameN aap ka tamaam kalaam bahut pasand hai chaahe woh ghazliyaat hoN yaa nazm hoN! aap ka judaa-gaana andaaz hamesha gehra ta'accur choR jaata hai :D . dheeroN daad qabool kejeye .
moHtarami Sarwar SaaHib, ne jo baateN ki haiN , yaqeena woh bahut aham aur mufeed haiN , is leye inheN Sirf paRh kar ya ghor talab qaraar dey kar , nazar-andaaz na kiyaa jaaye , aap ne Theek kahaa k kesi maahir-e-fan ko in baatoN par tafSeeli guftugo karni chaaheye . magar woh chaine maiN aek kahaawat hai na k "Aek qadam uThe to hazaaroN qadam khud ba-khud uTh jaayeN" is k miSdaaq agar aap in baatoN par raushni DaaleN (jitni bhi information aap ko hai) chaahe moKhtaSar hi kyoN na , magar zaroor raushni Daaleye , taa k guftugoo ka aaghaaz hojaaye. bahut bahut shukriya

mokhliS : Zia Baloch

mohtaram Zia ji,

aap kaa ye tabsarah bhee hameshah ki tarah jaan.daar aur ta'rif se bhar poor thaa. mashaa'Allah aap kaa tabsarah paRh kar dil khush ho jaataa hai, itne haseen alfaaz tau maiN apne kalaam meiN bhee iste'maal naheeN karti, jitne khoobsoorat alfaaz se aap daad dete heiN :)
aur iss khushee aur daad ke liye aap kaa be.had shukriya!

aap kaa husn.e.zauq o nazar hai jo aap ko meraa kalaam pasaNd aataa hai varna maiN iss qaabil kahaaN!

Janaab Sarwar saahab ki baateN nazar aNdaaz karne vaalee bilkul bhee naheeN heiN. maiN ne urdudan.com par janaab Dawood Rizwan saahab se guzaarish kee hai ke agar voh iss kaar.e.khair meiN hissah le kar koee mazmoon paish kar sakeN tau. deikhiye voh kyaa jawaab dete heiN. phir un ke jawaab ke ba'd aglaa qadam uthaate heiN.

nazm pasaNd karne kaa buhat shukriya!

mukhlis
Naheed