yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

ph`ir mujh`e deedah-e-tar yaad aayaa!
dil jigar tishnah-e-faryaad aayaa! (Ghalib)

makaan kyaa badlaa Mall kee woh sair hee Khwaab-o-Khayaal ho kar reh gayee jis ne jaane kitnee SubHeN taabindah kee th`eeN! lekin yaadoN ko koyee kaise rok saktaa hai? aur yeh bh`ee to hai keh kuch` log aise aise hazaaroN Mall apne dil meN hee rakh`te haiN!

dil ke aa,eeneh meN hai taSweer-e-yaar
jab Zaraa gardan jh`ukaayee, dekh` lee!

so aaj kee Ghazal bh`ee usee Mall kee sair kee sauGhaat hai! farq Sirf yeh hai keh tab maiN Khud sair ko jaataa th`aa aur ab Sirf dil hee :koo-e-malaamat: ko jaayaa kartaa hai!

dil ph`ir t^awaaf-e-koo-e-malaamat ko jaaYe hai
pindaar kaa Sanam-kadah weeraaN kiYe huwe! (Ghalib)

ab aap dekh`iYe keh yeh Ghazal kisee qaabil hai bh`ee yaa naheeN. aap kee raaYe aur ta,accuraat kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah peshagee HaaZ^ir hai!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
-------------------------------------------

Ghazal:

pooch`iYe mire dil se intiz^aar kaa a'alam
be-basee umeedoN kee, yaad-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

dil to ek naadaaN hai, koyee kyaa sune is kee?
koo-e-Gham meN Dh`ooNDe hai yeh qaraar kaa a'alam!

sheeshah-e-anaa meraa, saNg-e-aastaaN teraa
yaad hai mujh`e ab tak apnee haar kaa a'alam!

sab palaT gayee baazee kaargaah-e-hastee kee
aagahee meN pinhaaN th`aa intishaar kaa a'alam!

zaKhm meree qismat th`e, dard bh`ee muqaddar th`aa
aur mujh` peh t^aaree th`aa Khwaab-zaar kaa a'alam!

beKhudee ne naz^roN se woh Hijaab uThaaYe haiN
har t^araf firozaaN hai Husn-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

yaad ke dareechoN se boo-e-yaar aayee hai!
mausam-e-KhizaaN meN hai ik bahaar kaa a'alam!

manzil-e-muHabbat meN kaam aa gayaa "Sarwar"
pooch`te ho kyaa apne jaaN-nicaar kaa a'alam?
=========================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

GAzal bohat zaber dast hay jee

Sarwar Raz wrote: -------------------------------------------[/b]

Ghazal:

pooch`iYe mire dil se intiz^aar kaa a'alam
be-basee umeedoN kee, yaad-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

dil to ek naadaaN hai, koyee kyaa sune is kee?
koo-e-Gham meN Dh`ooNDe hai yeh qaraar kaa a'alam!

sheeshah-e-anaa meraa, saNg-e-aastaaN teraa
yaad hai mujh`e ab tak apnee haar kaa a'alam!

sab palaT gayee baazee kaargaah-e-hastee kee
aagahee meN pinhaaN th`aa intishaar kaa a'alam!

zaKhm meree qismat th`e, dard bh`ee muqaddar th`aa
aur mujh` peh t^aaree th`aa Khwaab-zaar kaa a'alam!

beKhudee ne naz^roN se woh Hijaab uThaaYe haiN
har t^araf firozaaN hai Husn-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

yaad ke dareechoN se boo-e-yaar aayee hai!
mausam-e-KhizaaN meN hai ik bahaar kaa a'alam!

manzil-e-muHabbat meN kaam aa gayaa "Sarwar"
pooch`te ho kyaa apne jaaN-nicaar kaa a'alam?
=========================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

MoHteram Sarwar Shaheb

slaam-e-khuloos

aik nehaayat muarssah ghazal inaayat fermaanay per dilee shukriyah qabuul fermaaiN

wassalam

mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!

Khat^ aur Ghazal kee daad ke liYe mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hooN! shuroo' meN aap ne apne Khat^ meN do nikaat uThaaYe th`e. ab dekh`taa hooN to us meN se aap ne ek HaZaf kar diyaa hai!

chooN.k maiN jawaab likh` hee chukaa th`aa is liYe chand iZ^aafoN ke saath` jooN kaa tooN pesh kar rahaa hooN. aap aur woh eHbaab jo aap kaa pehlaa Khat^ paRh chuke haiN is ko dekh` leN to harj naheeN hai!

aap ke pehle Khat^ meN chand baateN jawaab-t^alab th`eeN. so jawaabaat a'rZ^ kartaa hooN.

(a) aap ne mujh ko :Sarwar Chandpuri: ke Khit^aab se nawaazaa hai! mere waalid marHoom kaa wat^an-e-maaloof Chandpur (Distt. Bijnor, UP) th`aa aur is nisbat se woh Khud ko Raz Chandpuri likh`te th`e. yeh wohee Chandpur hai jo ustaaZ-ul-asaatiZah Qa,im Chandpuri kaa bh`ee wat^an th`aa. maiN ne to Chandpur kee shakl bh`ee naheeN dekh`ee hai! paidaa Jabalpur (MP) meN huwaa, ta'leem Aligarh meN paayee aur maut shaayad America meN aaYe gee! Allah reHm farmaaYe!!

huwe is qadar muhaZZab kabh`ee gh`ar kaa muNh nah dekh`aa
kaTee u'mr hoTeloN meN, mare aspataal jaa kar! (Akbar Alahabadi)

bar-sabeel-e-taZkirah: maiN kabh`ee kisee sanjeedah adabee tanqeed kaa buraa naheeN maantaa hooN bal.k us kaa Khair-maqdam kartaa h ooN. baGhair Khud-iHtisaabee aur eHbaab kee pur-KhulooS tanqeed ke, taraqqee aur falaaH mumkin naheeN hai. woh log kitne naadaan haiN jo Khud ko a'ql-e-kul samajh`te haiN aur Zaraa see tanqeed par chiraaGh-paa ho jaate haiN goyaa un se Ghalat^ee ho hee naheeN saktee hai! nateejata" woh hameshah hee apnee Ghalat^iyoN meN Ghalt^aaN-o-pechaaN u'mr guZaar dete haiN! aap jab chaaheN ta'meeree tanqeed farmaaYeN. mujh` ko Khushee ho gee.

(b) mere miSre' "mausam-e-KhizaaN meN hai ik bahaar kaa a'alam: par aap ne pehle Khat^ meN kahaa th`aa keh Zaatee t^aur se aap "ik" kaa ista'maal pasand naheeN karte haiN. aap kaa yeh nuktah kuch` a'jeeb th`aa aur saath` hee nihaayat kamzor bh`ee! shaayad isee liYe us ko aap ne miTaa diyaa hai. mujh` ko yaqeen hai keh aap ne bh`ee apnee GhazaloN meN :ik: likh`aa ho gaa! agar Zaatee :naa-pasand: hai bh`ee to yeh aap kee Zaat tak hee meHdood honee chaahiYe! aap kee yaa meree pasand/naa-pasand se uSool-e-she'r kaa koyee ta,a'luuq naheeN hai. agar :ik: ko aap :shehr-badar: kar deN ge to apne ek ham-wat^an ke aise ash,a'ar kaa aa kyaa kareN ge?

"ik" mu,a'mmah hai, samajh`ne kaa nah samjh`aane kaa
zindagee kaahe ho hai Khwaab hai deewaaneh kaa (Fani Badauni)

aap ne yeh bh`ee likh`aa th`aa keh aap mere meiSre' ko yooN kehte:

mausam-e-KhizaaN meN bh`ee hai bahaar kaa a'alam

agar aisaa karte to she'r par :z^ulm: karte! bh`alaa kahaaN :ik: kee ma'naviyyat aur kahaaN :bhee hai: kee be-lut^fee? aap :ik: par Ghaur kareN ge to she'r kaa lut^f do-baalaa ho jaaYe gaa! koshish to farmaa,iYe! meree Khaat^ir hee sahee!

(c) :ne naz^roN: ke Hawaaleh se uThaayaa gayaa aap kaa nuktah dilchasp hai. maiN ne jab yeh she'r kahaa th`aa to is miSre' kee kayee shakleN Zehn meN th`eeN. ph`ir Ghaur-o-fikr ke ba'd maZkoorah she'r kee yeh shakl rakh`ee. is silsileh meN do ek baateN ma'rooZ^ee haiN. aap bh`ee sun leN:

(1) :beKhudee ne naz^roN se woh Hijaab uThaaYe haiN:

is miSre' meN :ne naz^roN: meN :noon: ke baahamee ittiSaal se :a'ib-e-tanaafur: paidaa ho gayaa hai. maiN is se baKhoobee waaqif hooN. lekin chooN.k yeh koyee baRaa a'ib naheeN hai is liYe ista'maal meN takalluf naheeN kiyaa. asaatiZah ke yahaaN be-shumaar micaaleN mil jaaYeN gee.

(2) yeh SaHeeH hai keh :ne: kee :ye: dab rahee hai. lekin she'r ke u'moomee lut^f-o-u'mdagee ke pesh-e-naz^ar is ko gawaaraa kiyaa gayaa hai. waise yeh bh`ee koyee baRaa a'ib naheeN hai!

(3) aap ne jo is Sadee kaa sab se mash,hoor aur achh`aa she'r likh`aa hai us meN mujh` ko aisee koyee baat naz^ar naheeN aayee jo aap farmaa rahe haiN keh mere she'r se mushaabeh hai. tashreeH kar deN to mere i'lm meN bh`ee iZ^aafah ho gaa. shukriyah!

(4) yeh dekh` kar bohat Khushee huyee keh aap kee naz^ar pooree Sadee kee shaa,iree par itnee gehree aur jaame' hai keh aap is ma'moolee she'r ko pooree Sadee kee she'ree koshishoN kaa maa-Hasal samajh`te haiN! is she'r meN to koyee bh`ee KhaaS baat naheeN hai! a'qeedeh kee baat aur hai aur shaa,i'ree meN Husn aur cheez hai. maiN aap ke a'qeedeh kaa iHtiraam kartaa hooN lekin us kee bunyaad par adab meN faiSiloN kaa qaa,il naheeN hooN! ziyaadah Hadd-e-adab!

ummeed hai keh meree ma`rooZ^aat Khaat^ir-e-naazuk par giraaN naheeN guZree hoN gee.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!

Khat^ kaa shukriyah. aap ne achh`aa kiyaa jo beHc Khatm kar dee. ab aur kuch` kehne ko reh bh`ee naheeN gayaa hai! ahl-e-naz^ar Khud hee samajh` leN ge!

aap ke Khat^ ke kuch` HiSSoN se maiN :meHz^ooz^: huwaa aur kuch` se :mustafeed:! jaisaa keh aap ko i'lm hai :meHz^ooz^: mushtaq hai :Haz^: se jis kaa u'moomee izhaar muskuraahaT, haNsee yaa chehre-muhre kee kisee aisee hee kaifiyyat se kiyaa jaataa hai. ek zamaanah th`aa jab hamaare buzurg sho,a'raa shaa,i'ree ke Hawaaleh se :meHz^ooz^: hone se gurez karte th`e. un kaa muqid th`aa keh shaa,i'ree :istifaadeh: kee cheez hai :Haz^: kee naheeN!

mujh` ko ek meHfil yaad hai jis meN ek naujawaan kee daad par keh :SaaHeb! is she'r se maiN nihaayat meHz^ooz^ huwaa: ek buzurg ne farmaayaa th`aa ke :miaaN! meHz^ooz^ hee honaa hai to kisee "aur t^raH" kee meHfil meN jaa,iYe:!

aap ne likh`aa hai keh aap ne Imam Husain se muta,a'liq maZkoorah she'r saikRoN jagah likh`aa dekh`aa hai aur is se she'r kee a`zmat par daleel kee hai. jo micaaleN aap ne dee haiN woh sab ek KhaaS t^abqeh se ta,a`lluq rakh`tee haiN. maiN un kee a'qeedat kaa iHtiraam kartaa hooN lekin is se she'r a`zeem caabit naheeN hotaa hai. she'r kee a'zmat kaa i'laaqah uSooloN se waabastah hai nah keh a`qeedah se!

Hindustan meN a'am musalmaanoN kee d'awatoN meN jo peele raNg ke naqsheen dastarKhwaan bich`aaYe jaate haiN un par a'am t^aur se yeh she'r likh`aa hotaa hai:

shukr bajaa aar keh mehmaan-o-too
rozee-e-Khud mee Khurad az Khwaan-e-too!

lekin is u'moomee ista'maal se (aur is kee ta'daad laakh`oN meN hai!) yeh she'r :a'zeem: naheeN ho jaataa hai!

agar aap kaa maZkoorah she'r yooN hotaa to bh`ee kyaa aap is ko "is Sadee kaa sab se Haseen aur a'zeem" she'r kehte?

insaan ko bedaar to ho jane do
har qaum pukare gee "hamaaraa hai MaseeH"!

z^aahir hai keh ek E'esaayee to is she'r ko apne a'qeedeh kee binaa par :a'zeem: keh saktaa hai lekin mujh`e aur aap ko us se ittifaaq karne meN yaqeena" ta,ammul ho gaa!

aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

Sarwar Raz wrote:yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

ph`ir mujh`e deedah-e-tar yaad aayaa!
dil jigar tishnah-e-faryaad aayaa! (Ghalib)

makaan kyaa badlaa Mall kee woh sair hee Khwaab-o-Khayaal ho kar reh gayee jis ne jaane kitnee SubHeN taabindah kee th`eeN! lekin yaadoN ko koyee kaise rok saktaa hai? aur yeh bh`ee to hai keh kuch` log aise aise hazaaroN Mall apne dil meN hee rakh`te haiN!

dil ke aa,eeneh meN hai taSweer-e-yaar
jab Zaraa gardan jh`ukaayee, dekh` lee!

so aaj kee Ghazal bh`ee usee Mall kee sair kee sauGhaat hai! farq Sirf yeh hai keh tab maiN Khud sair ko jaataa th`aa aur ab Sirf dil hee :koo-e-malaamat: ko jaayaa kartaa hai!

dil ph`ir t^awaaf-e-koo-e-malaamat ko jaaYe hai
pindaar kaa Sanam-kadah weeraaN kiYe huwe! (Ghalib)

ab aap dekh`iYe keh yeh Ghazal kisee qaabil hai bh`ee yaa naheeN. aap kee raaYe aur ta,accuraat kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah peshagee HaaZ^ir hai!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
-------------------------------------------

Ghazal:

pooch`iYe mire dil se intiz^aar kaa a'alam
be-basee umeedoN kee, yaad-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

dil to ek naadaaN hai, koyee kyaa sune is kee?
koo-e-Gham meN Dh`ooNDe hai yeh qaraar kaa a'alam!

sheeshah-e-anaa meraa, saNg-e-aastaaN teraa
yaad hai mujh`e ab tak apnee haar kaa a'alam!

sab palaT gayee baazee kaargaah-e-hastee kee
aagahee meN pinhaaN th`aa intishaar kaa a'alam!

zaKhm meree qismat th`e, dard bh`ee muqaddar th`aa
aur mujh` peh t^aaree th`aa Khwaab-zaar kaa a'alam!

beKhudee ne naz^roN se woh Hijaab uThaaYe haiN
har t^araf firozaaN hai Husn-e-yaar kaa a'alam!

yaad ke dareechoN se boo-e-yaar aayee hai!
mausam-e-KhizaaN meN hai ik bahaar kaa a'alam!

manzil-e-muHabbat meN kaam aa gayaa "Sarwar"
pooch`te ho kyaa apne jaaN-nicaar kaa a'alam?
=========================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

raz sahjb apni imla kay lay mazrat khwah hain. hamari na laiqi koo qabool farmaiy.
janb a man kamal ghazal hay .
her sher par dil pukar uTha kah " dil mee kashad kah har ja een ja ast"
allah karay hamari farsi aap par giraN na hoo
aur yar maqta say pehlay ka sher

yaad ke dareechoN se boo-e-yaar aayee hai!
mausam-e-KhizaaN meN hai ik bahaar kaa a'alam!

ham qateel hoo gay.
wah wah wah wah wah
DhayrooN dad is nacheez ki janib say

janaab Poet SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee nawaazish ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Roman kaa imlaa to mashq se behtar ho jaaYe gaa. maiN to aap ke jaZbaat aur un ke iz^haar kee qadr kartaa hooN. i'zzat-afzaayee ke liYe shukrguZaar hooN aur du,a'a-go bh`ee!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"