aek kamyaab beHr meiN ghazal Abdullah Nazir.

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramaat o MuHtarameen
aHbaab-e-sukhan,


Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :rose

BeHr-e-Hazaj musaddas kaa zikr Maulvi Abdul-Haq kii kitaab meiN nah paane ke ba'd urdu ke mukhtaiif dawaaween meiN talaash karne per bhii uska vajood nah paakar mujhe bahut taAjjub houaa.

Uska vazn hei:
Mufaa'ee'lun…….mufaa'ee'lun…..mufaa'ee'lun
//0/0/0…………………. //0/0/0………………..//0/0/0
= 1222………………….1222…………………..1222

Is ko paRhne ke ba'd mujhe bahut hii dilkash aahang maloom houaa aur maiN ne souchaa ke kiyuN nah maiN khud is vazn meiN aek ghazal likhkhuN. Jab sheAr kahne lagaa tou Hazaj kii mucamman saalim shakl zehn per ghalib nazar aayi aur bhatakne kaa khauf aakhir tak lagaa rahaa. Gouyaa maiN ne khud ko is imtiHaan meiN Daal diyaa. Shayad yehi sabab hei ke urdu meiN hazaj musaddas ko nazar andaaz kardiyaa gayaa hei.

Jin Hazraat ko ilm hou ke yeh musaddas shakl kisi shayer ne isteAmaal kii hei tou mehrbaani farmaakar us ghazal kii copy shayer ke naam ke saath mujhe PM se yaa Email se bhejne kii zahmat gavaaraa farmaaeN.

Ab maiN apni ghazal pesh kartaa hooN, jiski kaamyaabi yaa naakaami aapke tabSiraoN ke Hawaale hei.

GHAZAL roman meiN

nah kaam aayegi Umr-e-mukhtaSar dekho
zaraa dunyaa ko aankheN khoulkar dekho

kahaa kis ne idhar dekho udhar dekho
miri jaanib ba-chashm-e-chaarah-gar dekho

nah wo aaye na aayaa naamah-bar dekho
hovaa jaataa hei ab waqt-e-saHar dekho

jafaa-joo de gayaa dard-e-jagar dekho
use dekho nah ab uski kamar dekho

rah-e-hasti nahiN hei moAtabar dekho
kahaaN tak saath de zaad-e-safar dekho

Adaawat khel hei baazegaraoN kaa saa
Bhali lagti hei ulfat kii Dagar dekho

Taghaaful hii sahi andaaz-e-jaanaanah
Miraa bhii iZTiraab-e-chashm-e-tar dekho

dilaoN ne TooTkar Haalat bayaaN kardi
duAaa meiN aagayaa khud hii acar dekho

nah poocho ham pah Dhaaye heiN sitam kis ne
bhaTakte kab se heiN ham dar badar dekho

Ajab hei zindagi kaa imtiHaaN :Nazir:
Nah dekhi jaaye hei dunyaa magar dekho.
=======


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[abdulhadiruswa]

Janab Nazir Sahib,

Kya is ghazal ko tarannum se paDha jaasakta hei aur gaayaa jaasakta hei?

khair andesh,
ruswa

[Abdullah Nazir]

Janab
Abdulhaadi Ruswa Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapke sawaal ke liye beHad mamnoon hooN.

Jee haaN is ghazal io tarannum se bhii paRhaa jaasaktaa hei aur gaayaa bhii jaasaktaa hei (mufaa'ee'lun......mufaa'ee'lun.....mufaa'ee'lun) ke vazn per. Is ghazal kii taqseem munsalikah ghazal meiN bayaaN ki gayi hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[abdulhadiruswa]

Janab Nazir Saahib,

Tasleemaat,

Aapki is ghazal ke baare meiN paRhkar maiN kisi nateejeh per nahiN pahonch sakaa. Kyaa aap samajhte heiN ke saare asaatizah is beHr se waaqif nahiN heiN. Aapki taqTeeA bhi mujhe iTmenan-bakhsh nazar nahiN aayi. Behtar hei ke aap aayindah se ilm-e-Arooz meiN dakhl nah deN.

Hamare paas jo bhii asaatizah maujood heiN wo hamaare liye kaafi heiN. Ummeed ke aap aayindah se ashAar ki taqTeeA karne se gurez karenge aur mushaaAire kii forum meiN bhii koii miSraA nah pesh karenge. Shukriyah.

khair andesh,
Ruswa.

[Abdullah Nazir]

Janab
Abdulhaadi Ruswa Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapke telephone ke liye shukriyah.

MaAzirat khwaahi kii koii zaroorat nahiN. Aisaa tou houtaa hii rehtaa hei ke jaldbaazi meiN loag kisi daleel ke baghar ghalaT ko saHeeH aur saHeeH ko ghalaT qaraar dete heiN. MaiN aap se hergiz naaraaz nahiN hooN. Kyaa hii achchaa hougaa ke aap kisi daleel kii bunyaad per is masa'leh ke baare meiN ghaur farmaakar likhkheN.

shukriyah.


Aapkaa Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

kahee roz qabl aap kee is taKhleeq ko paRha thaa aur dil chaha ke usee Lamhe apnee aara likh dooN lekin Hasb-e-mamool net speed aur electricity failuare ne Khwhish ko Hasrat meN badal diya.

yeh ghazal bilashuba ek behtreen takhleeq hai aur daad kee mustahiq bhi. so meree janib se dilee daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.


deegar eHbaab agar is par ser-HaSil tabSarah karte tu ham nau-mashqooN ko bohat kuch seekhne ka mauqa milta.
lekin aaj kal har doosree bazm meN Khamoshee ka raaj hai jo achii baat naheeN.

Khuda kare in meHfilooN kee raunaq baHaal ho jaye aur hamaare seekhne ka amal tez se tez tar ho jaye.

wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Rajii Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki Hauslah afzaayi ke liye beHad shukrguzaar hooN.

Aajkal yehi rivaaj hougayaa hei ke ahbaab-e-sukhan sirf yeh chaahte heiN ke unke kalaam per tabSirah kiyaa jaaye aur doosraoN ko wo nazar andaaz kardete heiN.

Agar unki maSroofiyat is Had tak doosri sites per hei to Allah hii reHm kare.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Sarwar A. Raz]

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

aap ne Zahida Raji ke Khat^ ke jawaab meN jo kuch` likh`aa hai woh ham sab ke liYe ek lamHah-e-fikriyah faraaham kartaa hai! maiN internet par Urdu meHfiloN kee u'moomee Khaamoshee se waaqif bh`ee hooN aur dil-bardaashtah bh`ee! albattah aap ke Khat^ se pooree t^araH muttafiq naheeN hooN. aap ne likh`aa hai keh:

"Aajkal yehi rivaaj hougayaa hei ke ahbaab-e-sukhan sirf yeh chaahte heiN ke unke kalaam per tabSirah kiyaa jaaye aur doosraoN ko wo nazar andaaz kardete heiN."

agar :eHbaab-e-suKhan: meN se kisee ne aap tak maZkoorah baat ba-raah-e-raast naheeN poNhchaayee hai (aur mujh` ko yaqeen hai keh kisee ne aap se is Saaf-goyee se guftgoo naheeN kee ho gee!) to aap kee baat kaa jawaaz mashkook ho jaataa hai. ya'nee yaa to yeh aap kaa Zaatee Khayaal hai yaa ph`ir kisee Ghalat^-fehmee kaa nateejah bh`ee ho saktaa hai. meree naaqiS raaYe meN is Soorat-e-Haal ke kayee asbaab ho sakte haiN:

(1) Internet par sanjeedah tanqeed karne waale dost bohat hee kam ta'daad meN haiN. naYe aur nisbata" kam tajribeh-kaar dost puKhtah-mashq sho,a'raa par likh`te huwe hichkichaate aur Darte haiN. waise mujh`e yaqeen hai keh in meN se taqreeba" sab hee ta'meeree tanqeed aur tabSirah kar sakte haiN aur inheN aisaa karnaa bh`ee chaahiYe. lekin shaayad is meN kuch` waqt lage gaa.

(2) Urdu kee meHfiloN kee ta'daad baraabar baRh rahee hai. yeh ek nihaayat Khush-aa,ind baat hai aur ham ko is Soorat-e-Haal kaa istiqbaal aur taayeed karnee chaahiYe. albattah is kaa acar yeh huwaa hai keh jo gine-chune puKhtah-mashq eHbaab haiN woh in meHfiloN meN taqseem ho gaYe haiN aur un kaa ziyaadah waqt un kee bazm meN hee guZartaa h ai.

macala" aap :Urdu BandhaN: se waabastah haiN, Raj Kumar SaaHeb aur Nabeel Amjad SaaHeb :Mehfil-e-Sukahn: meN sargarm haiN aur maiN :Urdu Duniya: meN ziyaadah maSroof hooN. isee par doosroN ko qiyaas kar leejiYe. ek Irfan Abid SaaHeb aise haiN jo apnee Zaatee maSroofiyaat kee wajh se kaheeN bh`ee ziyaadah naz^ar naheeN aate haiN!

is Soorat meN har ek kaa har bazm meN jaanaa bohat mushkil, bal.k taqreeba" naa-mumkin hai. Khud aap hee kam-o-besh "Urdu Bandhan" meN meHdood ho kar reh gaYe haiN aur kisee doosree meHfil meN nihaayat kam naz^ar aate haiN. agar :ch`oTaa muNh aur baRee baat: nah samjh`ee jaaYe to maiN hee waaHid shaKhS hooN jo :Urdu Bandhan, Urdu Duniya, Mushaira, Mehfil-e-Sukhan, Aligarians, ALUP, ebazm, Urdustan aur Urdu Mehfil: waGhairah sabh`ee meHfiloN meN kam-o-besh paabandee se jaataa hai aur apnee see Khidmat kartaa hai! meraa mauqif hai keh yehee Soorat mustaHsin hai aur is par ham sab ko a'mal karnaa chaahiYe!

(3) zer-e-naz^ar mas,aleh kaa ek pehloo aur hai. aur woh hai ham Urdu waaloN kee :naazuk-mizaajee:! yeh amr sab par z^aahir hai keh ham Khud par tanqeed kam hee bardaasht kar sakte haiN. ham har tabSireh ko apnee Zaat par Hamlah taSawwur karte haiN aur Zaraa Zaraa see baat par jaZbaat meN aa kar chiraaGh-paa ho jaate haiN. ham ne yeh ab tak naheeN seekh`aa hai keh aapas meN iKhtilaaf-e-raaYe ho saktaa hai, aur aisaa honaa ek fit^ree amr hai jis ko saleem-ut-t^aba,e'e se samajh`ne aur faraaKh-dilee se us kaa e jawaab dene kee koshish karnee chaahiYe. maiN is marHaleh se bohat guZar chukaa hooN. yaqeena" aap bh`ee guZre hoN ge. jab tak ham meN woh baat naheeN paidaa hotee hai jis ko maGhrib meN :agree to disagree: kahaa jaataa hai, sanjeedah tanqeed kam kam hee ho gee aur ham ko :rasmee waah-waah: par hee iktifaa karnaa ho gaa.

(4) mazeed bar-aaN yeh baat bh`ee Zehn meN rakh`ne kee hai keh sabh`ee log kaafee maSroof haiN. har ek kee har taKhleeq par har shaKhS Khwaahish ke baa-wujood naheeN likh` saktaa hai. aur ba'Z auqaat woh :doodh` kaa jalaa, ch`aach` ph`ooNk ph`ooN kar peene par bh`ee majboor hotaa hai!:

is teHreer se Sirf apne Khayaalaat kaa iz^haar maqSood hai, kisee beHc kaa shuroo' karnaa manz^oor naheeN hai. waise agar eHbaab is mauZ^oo' par apnee raaYe likh`eN to bohat achh`aa ho gaa. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[zaamin]

mohtaram janaab naazir saahib:

abhii behr ke baare mein itna nahin jaanta lekin try karne per yakinan aap se ittefaaq hai ih yeh bahut hi pechiida behr hai aur abhii in mein tab'a azmaaii karna ham aise taalib-ilmon ke bas ka nahin;lekin app ne jis khoobsoorti se is ko anjaam diyaa hai,voh app ki kuhna-mashqii aur behr pe app ki fauqia't ka alam-bardaar hai;khyaal ki pukhtagi ke saathsaath tarannum bhii barqaraar rakha hai.

janaab sarwar sahib se is baat pr ittefaaq rakhta hoon,ki un aur aap jaise ustaaz shuara ki takhliiq per kuchh likhna ba'az dafaa suuraj ko diyaa dikhane ki manind lagta hai aur chahte hey bhii man gurezaan ho jaata hai.iska matlab hargiz nahin kih ham log aap sab ki tehriiren nahin parhte;varna hamein siikhna kahaan se hai.mere khyaal mein number of hits se app bakoobii andaaza laga sakte hein kih kitne log app ki ghazalon ko parhte hain.

eik sawaal jo mere zehn mein utha hai voh is misre se mansoob hai:

use dekho nah ab uski kamar dekho

is mein kyaa ab+uski ko a+buski parhna laazim hogaa;jasie aap ne ise likha hai aur parhne mein bhii ab uski hi parhaa jaa rahaa hai;per qaaide ke mutaabiq a+buski honaa chaahiye;is semein yeh matlab letaa hoon kih aisaa karna laazim nahin balkih choice hai;kyaa main theek samjha hoon ya kih is constructin ke baare mein mera ilm naaqis hai;aap ki rehnumaai se yeh point clear karne mein mada milegi.

raji saahiba ke biyaan se bhii ittefaaq karta hoon kh agar asaatiza ki ghazal per unke peer group ya'ani kih doosre asaatiza tabsara farmaaayein to ham seekhne waalon ke liye achhi baat hogii.ham to bas tehseen pesh kar sakte hain(likhein a na likhein) so haazir hai

mukhlis

zaamin

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz. :Sarwar: Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Zahidah Rajii Saahibah ke tabSireh ke javaab meiN khaaksaar ne jou kuch likhkhaa hei, uski zaroorat nah pesh aati agar mujhe aek khaas beHr ke baare meiN doust aHbaab kii giraaNqadr raaye maTloob nah houti.

Pahli baar doustaoN kii Adam-iltifaati kaa zikr karke maAtoob qaraar diye jaane kaa mujhe is liye afsous nahiN kiyunkeh maiN apni khaTaa ko tasleem kartaa hooN.

Dar-aSl apni is ghazal kii baabat mujhe taAmeeri yaa ghair taAmeeri tanqeed meiN uljhe baghair Sirf yeh jaannaa maqSood thaa ke aayaa beHr-e-Hazaj musaddas Saalim kii shakl ko kisi aur ustaad yaa ghair ustaad shayer ne isteAmaal kiyaa hei.? BaharHaal aap ne aek bahut hi aham mauZooA cheRaa hei jiskaa taAlluq adabi tabSiraoN kii ifaadiyat se hei.

No.1, 2, 3, aur 4 ke teHt aapki tafSeeli aaraa se maiN poori TaraH se ittifaaq kartaa hooN.

tabaadila-e-khayaal chaahe ittifiaaq-e-raaye per khatm hou yaa ikhtilaaf-e-raaye per, shakhSi ikhtilaaf kii muZarrat rasaani tak nahiN pahonchnaa chaahiye. Her shakhS ko apni raaye pesh karte houe yeh koushish karni chaahiye ke wo mukhtalif qaabil-e-iAtimaad kitaabaoN ke Hawaale se baat kare. Agar aisi kitaabaoN ke zariyeA bhii ikhtilaaf-e-raaye anjaam ko nah pahonch sake tou mas'aleh ko usi muqaam per chouRdenaa chaahiye.

Adabi beHc ko adab kii Hudood se door nahiN hounaa chaahiye. Agar kisi aek fard ne aisi ghalaTi kii bhii tou doosre ko chaahiye ke wo burdbaari se kaam le.

Aap is silsile meiN mujh se bahut ziyaadah tajribah rakhte heiN aur jaante heiN ke urdu kii khidmat kistaraH se anjaam dii jaani chaahiye.

Meri saari baataoN kaa maaHaSal yeh hei ke meri shikaayat khudsitaayi ke liye nhaiN thii balkeh aek sawaal kaa javaab Haasil karne ke liye .

Is per bhii agar mujh se anjaane meiN koii ghalaTi hougaiee hei tou maiN aap sab se muAaafi kaa khwaastgaar hooN.


Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.