haamidbaaqri wrote:salaamun alaikum
dosto

17 december2005 keliye gulzaare urdu adab(chanpatna,bangalore)ki jaanib se aik tarhi mushaaira hone jaaraha hai.


misra hai "mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"

humaari adna see kaavish pehle hum aapke saath share karna chaahe.nge.

umeed hai pasand farmaaye.nge.

arz kiya hai

anjaam tera haamid,aaghaaz mei.n pinhaa.n hai
yeh baat samajh le jo,woh asl mei.n insaa.n hai

ek dil ke dhadakne se,harkat mei.n hai.n yeh a^aza
is dil ki hukoomat per,yeh aql bhi hairaa.n hai.n

mohtaaj hai bachpan mei.n,mohtaaj budhaape mei.n
paani aur hawa ka bhi,mohtaaj yeh insaa.n hai

kya ^azmate ^aurat hai,^aurat hi nahi.n jaane
bikti hai sare baazaar,galiyo.n mei.n yeh ^uryaa.n hai

aulaad ko paala hai,maa.n baap ne mushkil se
maa.n baap ke qadmo.n per,yeh jaan bhi qurbaa.n hai

quwwat de mere maalik,lad jaaoo.n balaao.n se
"mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"

Sarwar Raz wrote:

haamidbaaqri wrote:salaamun alaikum
dosto

17 december2005 keliye gulzaare urdu adab(chanpatna,bangalore)ki jaanib se aik tarhi mushaaira hone jaaraha hai.


misra hai "mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"

humaari adna see kaavish pehle hum aapke saath share karna chaahe.nge.

umeed hai pasand farmaaye.nge.

arz kiya hai

mukarramee Hamid SaaHeb: aadaab!

aaj pehlee martabah aap se muKhaat^ib hone kee jasaarat kar rahaa hooN. aap kaa kalaam bazm meN dekh`taa rahaa hooN. aap ke site par bh`ee ek baar jaa chukaa hooN. zer-e-naz^ar Ghazal kaa miSra'-e-t^araH bohat u'mdah hai. likh`iYe gaa keh mushaa,i'rah kaisaa rahaa. ab ijaazat deejiYe keh chand baateN a'rZ^ karooN!

anjaam tera haamid,aaghaaz mei.n pinhaa.n hai
yeh baat samajh le jo,woh asl mei.n insaa.n hai

mat^la' bohat achh`aa hai. daad HaaZ^ir hai!

ek dil ke dhadakne se,harkat mei.n hai.n yeh a^aza
is dil ki hukoomat per,yeh aql bhi hairaa.n hai.n

jahaaN tak mujh` ko i'lm hai SaHeeH lafz^ :Harakat: hai, :Harkat: naheeN! waise she'r meN taGhazzul kee kamee naz^ar aayee. ziyaadah Hadd-e-adab!

mohtaaj hai bachpan mei.n,mohtaaj budhaape mei.n
paani aur hawa ka bhi,mohtaaj yeh insaa.n hai

gustaaKhee mu,a'af is she'r meN she'riyat kaa fuqdaan hai. Ghazal meN jo acar aur jaZbaat kee shiddat honee chaahiYe us se yeh mut^laq a'aree naz^ar aayaa. waise meree raaYe Ghalat^ bh`ee ho saktee hai.

mazeed yeh keh :aur: se :hawaa: par intiqaal karte huwe zabaan ko takalluf hotaa hai. ek naz^ar dekh` lene meN harj naheeN hai!

kya ^azmate ^aurat hai,^aurat hi nahi.n jaane
bikti hai sare baazaar,galiyo.n mei.n yeh ^uryaa.n hai

is she'r meN mujh` ko kayee KhaamiyaaN naz^ar aayeeN. ek to :a'z^mat-e-a'urat: tarkeeb mut^laq Ghalat hai. :a'z^mat: Arabee hai aur :a'urat: Urdu/Hindi. is liYe yeh tarkeeb durust naheeN hai. doosre yeh keh :baazaar: kee :rey: adaa,igee aur taqt^ee' meN Ghaa,ib ho gayee hai aur us ko :baazaa: paRhnaa paR rahaa hai. teesre yeh keh maZ^moon mubtaZil hai aur is se parhez mustaHsin hai.

aulaad ko paala hai,maa.n baap ne mushkil se
maa.n baap ke qadmo.n per,yeh jaan bhi qurbaa.n hai

yeh she'r bh`ee Ghazal kaa naheeN hai. yeh mumkin hai keh aap ke Zehn meN Ghazal kaa taSawwur muKhtalif ho!

quwwat de mere maalik,lad jaaoo.n balaao.n se
"mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"

is she'r meN donoN miSre' laKht-laKht haiN. ya'nee in kaa baahimee rabt^ mubham hee naheeN bal.k bohat mubham hai.
ummeed hai keh mere tabSireh ko us ke SaHeeH tanaaz^ur meN dekh`eN ge. maiN ne jo bh`ee likh`aa hai nek-niyyaatee se likh`aa hai aur is se tanqeeS yaa aap kee dil-aazaaree hargiz maqSood naheeN hai. yeh bh`ee mumkin hai keh maiN aap kee Ghazal samajh` hee naheeN sakaa hooN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

sara_j wrote:haamid sahib,

aapki ghazal pasand aayi khaas ker matla.........mohsiara to
17th Dec. ko hai agar aapne kuch tarmeem ki hai apni ghazal mein tou voh bhi zaroor share keejiye humse.... hum chaahte hain ke aap ki ghazal per khoob daad mile.

sara

haamidbaaqri wrote:salaamun alaikum
dosto

17 december2005 keliye gulzaare urdu adab(chanpatna,bangalore)ki jaanib se aik tarhi mushaaira hone jaaraha hai.


misra hai
"mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"
hamaari adna see kaavish pehle hum aapke saath share karna chaahe.nge.

umeed hai pasand farmaaye.nge.

arz kiya hai

anjaam tera haamid,aaghaaz mei.n pinhaa.n hai
yeh baat samajh le jo,woh asl mei.n insaa.n hai

ek dil ke dhadakne se,harkat mei.n hai.n yeh a^aza
is dil ki hukoomat per,yeh aql bhi hairaa.n hai.n

mohtaaj hai bachpan mei.n,mohtaaj budhaape mei.n
paani aur hawa ka bhi,mohtaaj yeh insaa.n hai

kya ^azmate ^aurat hai,^aurat hi nahi.n jaane
bikti hai sare baazaar,galiyo.n mei.n yeh ^uryaa.n hai

aulaad ko paala hai,maa.n baap ne mushkil se
maa.n baap ke qadmo.n per,yeh jaan bhi qurbaa.n hai

quwwat de mere maalik,lad jaaoo.n balaao.n se
"mai.n darde mujassam hoo.n,tu dard ka darmaa.n hai"

nateejaye fikr
haamidbaaqri