• Tarahi ghazal guz#12

Posted: **Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:03 am**

Ahl-e-bazm
aadaab
maiN apni adna si kawish aap ki khidmat maiN pesh kar rahi hoN umeed hai aap apni aaraa se agah kareN ge
wasalaam
zmufti

1. Rishtey bana chukey haiN kayii is nagar main hum
"Rahat watan ki yaad kareN kaya safar main hum"

2. Chehra khushi ka dekhay zamana guzar gaya
Ghut ghut ke jee rahe haiN GhamoN ke Acar main hum

3. Thandak mili kuch aisee mohabbat ki aag meN
Jalte rahe Khooshee se wafa ke sharar men hum

4. Khud ko bhulaye baiThe haiN hum teri yaad meN
Tere hi gham ka dard liye haiN jigar meN hum

5. saathi koi mila na koi hamsafar bana
dhooda kiye yahaN se wahaN duniya bhar main hum

6. yeh raastey hamieN KahaN le jaayieN kiya khabar
jab kho chukey haiN apna pata rahguzar main hum

7. tu zindagi ki raah main Jab se hua hai Gum
Kartey rahey talash tujhey har khabar main hum

8. ik doosrey ke bairi huay bhai bhee jahaN
Rehtay haiN nafratooN se bharey us nagar main hum

9. Hum besabab zamane se kyooNkar gila kareN
jab taaq Ho sakey na kissi bhee hunar main hum

Posted: **Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:11 pm**

MuHtaramah
Zmufti SaaHibah,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut achchi hei jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

1. Rishtey bana chukey haiN kayii is nagar main hum
Rahat watan ki yaad kareN kiyoN safar main hum
Aapka maTlaA jou TaraHi miSreA per gireh lagaakar banaayaa gayaa hei, theek hei. Pahle tou aap ne TaraHi miSreA ko yooN likhkhaa hei ke jis se yeh gumaan houtaa hei ke wo aapka hi miSraA hei. Doosri baat yeh ke aap ne TaraHi miSreA ke lafz "kyaa" ko "kiyuN" se badal diyaa hei.

2. Chehra khushi ka dekhay zamana guzar gaya
Ghut ghut ke jee rahe haiN GhamoN ke Acar main hum
Yeh sheAr achchaa hei aur qaabil-e-daad bhi.

3. Thandak mili kuch aisee mohabbat ki aag meN
Jalte rahe Khooshee se wafa ki sharar men hum

SheAr achchaa hei lekin doosre miSreA meiN lafz "sharar" muzakkar hounaa chaahiye. isko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei (jalte rahe khushi se wafaa ke sharar meiN ham".

4. Khud ko bhulaye baiThe haiN hum teri yaad meN
Teri hi gham ka dard liye haiN jigar meN hum

sheAr achchaa hei. Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "teri" ko "tere" banaaleejiye kiuynkeh lafz "gham" muzakkar hei.

5. saathi koi mila na koi hamsafar bana
dhooNda kiye yahaN se wahaN duniya bhar main hum

SheAr achchaa hei lekin lafz "dunyaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane se uski aavaaz buri TaraH dab rahi hei. BaAz ahl-e-Arooz isko maAyhoob maante heiN is liye is tareeqeh se gurez karnaa behtar hei.

6. yeh raastey hamieN KahaN le jaayieN kiya khabar
keh kho chukey haiN apna pata rahguzar main hum

SheAr Theek hei lekin doosre miSreA meiN lafz "keh" kii jagah "jab" banaaleejiyhe.

7. tu zindagi ki raah main Jab se hua hai Gum
Kartey rahey talash tujhey har khabar main hum

yeh sheAr theek hei.

8. ik doosrey ke bairi huay bhai bhee jahaN
Rehtay haiN nafratooN se bharey us nagar main hum

yeh SheAr bhi achchaa hei.

9. Hum besabab zamane se kyooNkar gila kareN
jo taaq Ho sakey na kissi bhee hunar main hum

accha sheAr hei lekin doosre miSreA meiN lafz "jo" ko "jab" se badal deejiye.

Aakhir meiN dobaarah apni dili daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN ke aapke tamam ashAar beHr meiN heiN aur maAnavi liHaaz se bhii khoob heiN.

Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir,

Posted: **Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:11 am**

Mohtaram Abdullah Nazir saheb
Tasleemat
MaiN aap ki behad mamnoon hoN ke aap ne meri ghazal per raaye di
aap ki tajaweez ke mutabiq ghazal maiN tabdeeliaN kar di haiN
umeed hai aayinda bhee raahnumaai farmaate rahieN ge
shukria
wasalaam
zmufti

Posted: **Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:55 am**

Salam Zarqa jee ..

Mashallah bohat he khoobsurat ghazal kahy aap ne ..

ALLAH karay zor-e-qalam aur ziada ...

Umeed hay k isy tarha apni khoobsurat kaawishoN se humaiN nawazti rahaiN gee.

Khush rahain

Khair Andesh

Raheel Ahmed

Posted: **Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:37 am**

Sara jee
ghazal pasand karney k liye aap ka shukria
regards
zmufti

Posted: **Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:40 am**

Raheel saheb
ghazal pasand karne k liye shukria
aur aap ki dua ka bhee shukria
regards
zmufti

Posted: **Sat Dec 31, 2005 12:52 pm**

2. Chehra khushi ka dekhay zamana guzar gaya
Ghut ghut ke jee rahe haiN GhamoN ke Acar main hum

3. Thandak mili kuch aisee mohabbat ki aag meN
Jalte rahe Khooshee se wafa ke sharar men hum

5. saathi koi mila na koi hamsafar bana
dhooda kiye yahaN se wahaN duniya bhar main hum

wah bahut khoob Zarqa sis!!!!!

ye ashaar bahut achche lage..daad haazir hai

Shumaila

Posted: **Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:30 pm**

Shummu jee
aap ka buhat shukria
asha'ar pasand karney k liye aap ki mamnoon hoN
regards
zmufti

Posted: **Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:40 pm**

waah waah !!

Zarqa ..... Bohat he acha likhtee ho janab !!

Bohat he achee ghazal thee.......yaqeen kero bohat pasand ayee

Posted: **Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:55 pm**

Sorry..............sub say zyda jo ahsaar pasand aye ....woh quote kerna

zmufti wrote: 2. Chehra khushi ka dekhay zamana guzar gaya
Ghut ghut ke jee rahe haiN GhamoN ke Acar main hum

3. Thandak mili kuch aisee mohabbat ki aag meN
Jalte rahe Khooshee se wafa ke sharar men hum

7. tu zindagi ki raah main Jab se hua hai Gum
Kartey rahey talash tujhey har khabar main hum
mageshack.us/img496/4328/rahatwatanki2ij.gif[/img][/URL]

I loved it .......Likhtee raho...

aur khush raho

Raushnee

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:08 pm**

Raushnee jee
MaiN aap ki tah-e-dil se mamnoon hoN keh aap ne meri sada si ghazal ko saraha
sher pasand karney k liye shukria
khush rahiye
zmufti

Tarahi ghazal guz#12

Tarahi ghazal guz#12

bahut khoob

Re: Tarahi ghazal guz#12

Re: Tarahi ghazal guz#12