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Mere chand AshAr..aapki nazr...................
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2005 5:07 pm
by jawaid badauni
Janab Abdulla Nazir Sahab/Janab Mahtab Qadr Sahab
Aadab.O.Niyaz....
Ajeeb shashopanj meN giraftaar hooN. Kuch asha'r Urdubandhan ke dostoN ko bhejna chaahta hooN. Samajh meN nahiN aata "NaumashqoN" wale forum meN jaaoN, "KohnamashqoN" ki saf meN shamil ho jaaoN ya "mutakhab shoAra" ke forum meN jane ki jisarat karoN. Usoolan to mujhe NaumashoN kee saf meN hona chahiye magar apne buRhape ka lihaz karte hoe Kohna mashoqoN ka humsafar ban gaya hooN.
Yeh Ghazal "Hulchul.Com" ke ek tarhi Mushaireh ke liye kahi thee jise maiN khood aarasta karta tha. MaiN muqabley ka "Judge" bhi tha iss liye meri ghazal muqable meN shamil nahiN ki jaati thee. Chuninda ashAr mulahiza farmaiye:
Niyazmand,
Jawaid Badauni
G H A Z A L
MISRA-E TARAH :
AISA BHI EK ASHK MIREE CHASHM-E TAR ME(N) HAI
Heere jawaharat na laal.o.guhar meN hai
Jo aab.o.taab ahl-e hunar ke hunar meN hai
Manzil pe hai nigaah qadam rahguzar meN hai
Such poochiye to sara zamaana safar meN hai
Hoti nahiN usee se mulaqat kya kareN
Muddat se jo muqeem hamare hi ghar meN hai
Pervaaz sub ne kee hai bulandi ki samt aaj
Ab dekhna hai kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai
Daulat to mil gayee hai magar chain chhin gayaa
Jitna bhi dard hai woh ameeroN ke ser meN hai
Laal.o.guhar ko fakhhr jawahar ko jis pe naaz
"Aisa bhi ek ashk miree chashm-e tar meN hai"
"Jawaid" koii khiNchke chalaa aaye tere ghar
Aisee kashish kahaN tire deevar.o.dar meN hai
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Re: Mere chand AshAr..aapki nazr...................
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 2:27 am
by Hashmat Usmani
jawaid badauni wrote:Janab Abdulla Nazir Sahab/Janab Mahtab Qadr Sahab
Aadab.O.Niyaz....
Ajeeb shashopanj meN giraftaar hooN. Kuch asha'r Urdubandhan ke dostoN ko bhejna chaahta hooN. Samajh meN nahiN aata "NaumashqoN" wale forum meN jaaoN, "KohnamashqoN" ki saf meN shamil ho jaaoN ya "mutakhab shoAra" ke forum meN jane ki jisarat karoN. Usoolan to mujhe NaumashoN kee saf meN hona chahiye magar apne buRhape ka lihaz karte hoe Kohna mashoqoN ka humsafar ban gaya hooN.
Yeh Ghazal "Hulchul.Com" ke ek tarhi Mushaireh ke liye kahi thee jise maiN khood aarasta karta tha. MaiN muqabley ka "Judge" bhi tha iss liye meri ghazal muqable meN shamil nahiN ki jaati thee. Chuninda ashAr mulahiza farmaiye:
Niyazmand,
Jawaid Badauni
janaab e moHtaram Jawaid Badaayuunii saaHib,
aji qibla agar aap hii kohnna_mashq sho'araa~ kii saf meN jalva afroz nahiiN hoNge to kia mujh jaisa be_bahra saf_kaji karegaa 
:) aap qata''ii apnii umr kii aaR na leN, yeh aapkaa Haq hai. :)
aapkii "Halchal.com" par kaar_kardagii ke baare meN paRH kar Khushii huii ki hamaare beech aap tashreef rakhte haiN aur aapse hameN bahot kuchh seekhne ke mavaaq'e mileNge. shukria.
aapkii Ghazal paRhii aur paRh kar aapko daad o taHseen dene kii Gharaz se Haazir-e-Khidmat huaa, gar qubool uftaad. aapkii Ghazl meN ustaadaanah rang matl'a se hii jhalak paRa. masha Allah aapkii Ghazal zabardast hai. har she'r meN chusti hai, aur bayaan o Khayaal kaa 'urooj hai. subHaan Allah, masha Allah, chashm-e-bad_door, Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada. go ki har she'r hii aalaa aur umda hai, magar merii nazar meN mujhe yeh ash'aar kuchh ziyaada behtar lage.
heere jawaharaat na la'l_o_guhar meN hai
jo aab_o_taab ai'hl-e hunar ke hunar meN hai
manzil pe hai nigaah, qadam rai'h_guzar meN hai
sach puuchhiye to saaraa zamaana safar meN hai
hotii nahiiN usii se mulaaqaat, kia kareN?
muddat se jo muqeem hamaare hi ghar meN hai
parvaaz sub ne kii hai bulandi kii simt aaj
ab dekhna hai! kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai!!
Laal_o_guhar ko faKhr, jawahar ko jis pe naaz
"aisaa bhi ek ashk mire chashm-e tar meN hai"
"Jawaid!" koii khiNch ke chalaa aaye tere ghar
aisii kashish kahaN tire deevar_o_dar meN hai
waah janaab waah! dad aisi kahaN se laauN jo qaabil e suKhan ho. bahot Khoob! marHaba!
faqat Khaadim,
Hashmat
Re: Mere chand AshAr..aapki nazr...................
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 10:13 am
by jawaid badauni
Hashmat Usmani wrote:jawaid badauni wrote:Janab Abdulla Nazir Sahab/Janab Mahtab Qadr Sahab
Aadab.O.Niyaz....
Ajeeb shashopanj meN giraftaar hooN. Kuch asha'r Urdubandhan ke dostoN ko bhejna chaahta hooN. Samajh meN nahiN aata "NaumashqoN" wale forum meN jaaoN, "KohnamashqoN" ki saf meN shamil ho jaaoN ya "mutakhab shoAra" ke forum meN jane ki jisarat karoN. Usoolan to mujhe NaumashoN kee saf meN hona chahiye magar apne buRhape ka lihaz karte hoe Kohna mashoqoN ka humsafar ban gaya hooN.
Yeh Ghazal "Hulchul.Com" ke ek tarhi Mushaireh ke liye kahi thee jise maiN khood aarasta karta tha. MaiN muqabley ka "Judge" bhi tha iss liye meri ghazal muqable meN shamil nahiN ki jaati thee. Chuninda ashAr mulahiza farmaiye:
Niyazmand,
Jawaid Badauni
janaab e moHtaram Jawaid Badaayuunii saaHib,
aji qibla agar aap hii kohnna_mashq sho'araa~ kii saf meN jalva afroz nahiiN hoNge to kia mujh jaisa be_bahra saf_kaji karegaa :) aap qata''ii apnii umr kii aaR na leN, yeh aapkaa Haq hai. :)
aapkii "Halchal.com" par kaar_kardagii ke baare meN paRH kar Khushii huii ki hamaare beech aap tashreef rakhte haiN aur aapse hameN bahot kuchh seekhne ke mavaaq'e mileNge. shukria.
aapkii Ghazal paRhii aur paRh kar aapko daad o taHseen dene kii Gharaz se Haazir-e-Khidmat huaa, gar qubool uftaad. aapkii Ghazl meN ustaadaanah rang matl'a se hii jhalak paRa. masha Allah aapkii Ghazal zabardast hai. har she'r meN chusti hai, aur bayaan o Khayaal kaa 'urooj hai. subHaan Allah, masha Allah, chashm-e-bad_door, Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada. go ki har she'r hii aalaa aur umda hai, magar merii nazar meN mujhe yeh ash'aar kuchh ziyaada behtar lage.
heere jawaharaat na la'l_o_guhar meN hai
jo aab_o_taab ai'hl-e hunar ke hunar meN hai
manzil pe hai nigaah, qadam rai'h_guzar meN hai
sach puuchhiye to saaraa zamaana safar meN hai
hotii nahiiN usii se mulaaqaat, kia kareN?
muddat se jo muqeem hamaare hi ghar meN hai
parvaaz sub ne kii hai bulandi kii simt aaj
ab dekhna hai! kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai!!
Laal_o_guhar ko faKhr, jawahar ko jis pe naaz
"aisaa bhi ek ashk mire chashm-e tar meN hai"
"Jawaid!" koii khiNch ke chalaa aaye tere ghar
aisii kashish kahaN tire deevar_o_dar meN hai
waah janaab waah! dad aisi kahaN se laauN jo qaabil e suKhan ho. bahot Khoob! marHaba!
faqat Khaadim,
Hashmat
Azeezi Hashmat Sahab,
Aap ki daad.o.tahseen meN aaj bhi khuloos-e dil ki mahak maujood hai. Isqadar sada ghazal ki itni pazeerayee bhala aap jaise mukhlis ke alawa kaun karega.Himmat afzaii ke liye aapka marhoon-e minnat hooN.
Allah aapko shaad.O.Aabad rakhkhe.
Aapka Apna,
Jawaid Badauni
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 2:24 pm
by waqar_masood
jawaid sahib kamaal ker deya ... kia khubsoorat ghazal likhi hay janab , parh ker lab tareef kay leye khul gaye ..buhut hi khubsoorat ...
parvaaz sub ne kii hai bulandi kii simt aaj
ab dekhna hai! kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai!!
hotii nahiiN usii se mulaaqaat, kia kareN?
muddat se jo muqeem hamaare hi ghar meN hai
kia umdaa tareen ashaar hein ... buhut buhut daad aap kay leye
kher andesh
waqar masood
Re: Mere chand AshAr..aapki nazr...................
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 3:55 pm
by Shummu
jawaid badauni wrote:
Manzil pe hai nigaah qadam rahguzar meN hai
Such poochiye to sara zamaana safar meN hai
Hoti nahiN usee se mulaqat kya kareN
Muddat se jo muqeem hamare hi ghar meN hai
Pervaaz sub ne kee hai bulandi ki samt aaj
Ab dekhna hai kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai
Wah Wahhhhhhhhhhh behad khoobsurat ash'aar...dheron daad haazir hai Jawaid sahab :)
Shumaila
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:03 pm
by jawaid badauni
waqar_masood wrote:jawaid sahib kamaal ker deya ... kia khubsoorat ghazal likhi hay janab , parh ker lab tareef kay leye khul gaye ..buhut hi khubsoorat ...
parvaaz sub ne kii hai bulandi kii simt aaj
ab dekhna hai! kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai!!
hotii nahiiN usii se mulaaqaat, kia kareN?
muddat se jo muqeem hamaare hi ghar meN hai
kia umdaa tareen ashaar hein ... buhut buhut daad aap kay leye
kher andesh
waqar masood
Bahut bahut shukriya Waqar Sahab. Ghazal aap ko pasaNd aaii yeh mere liye bahut khooshi ki baat hai.
Khair Andesh
Jawaid Badauni
Re: Mere chand AshAr..aapki nazr...................
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:05 pm
by jawaid badauni
Shummu wrote:jawaid badauni wrote:
Manzil pe hai nigaah qadam rahguzar meN hai
Such poochiye to sara zamaana safar meN hai
Hoti nahiN usee se mulaqat kya kareN
Muddat se jo muqeem hamare hi ghar meN hai
Pervaaz sub ne kee hai bulandi ki samt aaj
Ab dekhna hai kitni sakat kis ke par meN hai
Wah Wahhhhhhhhhhh behad khoobsurat ash'aar...dheron daad haazir hai Jawaid sahab :)
Shumaila
Shumaila Bahna, Ghazal aap ko achchi lagi? Shukriya.
khoosh RaheN
Jawaid Badauni