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Ghazal--"bhool gaye"
Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:15 am
by Daanish
hazreen-e-mehfil,
adaab-o-tasleemaat.
bazm meiN ek baar phir haazir hone ki jurrath kar raha huN, ek ghazal ke saath jo Majaz ki zameen meiN hui thhi.
paRHne ki zehmat farmaiye aur apne ta'surat ka izhaar zaroor kijiye.
Ghazal-nazr--e-Majaz
ik aisa t'alluq-e-khaatir tha sab hosh ke saamaaN bhool gaye
bas zulf-e-pareshaN yaad rahi, hum jeb-o-garebaaN bhool gaye
umeed ka toofaN seene meiN aur lamha-e-rukhsat aankhoN meiN
kya sach hai, kya hai fareb-e-nazar, sab ai shab-e-hijraaN bhool gaye
uf tark-e-wafa ka woh lamha, woh gardish-e-dauraaN ka rukna
phir hum par jo kuchh guzri hai, kab ai gham-e-jaanaN bhool gaye?
sarsabz bahaaroN ki yaadeiN, shaadab zamane ki baateiN
yak lakht khizaaN jo aa pahunchi, hum rang-e-gulistaaN bhool gaye
ta'meer-e-nasheman bhi ai dil ik kaavish-e-lahasil hi tau hai
thhi barq-e-ghazab jo sholafishaaN kya 'Daanish'-e-nadaaN bhool gaye?
bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:24 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Daanish SaaHib,
PurkhulooS tasleemaat,
Aapki yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT
ik aisa t'alluq-e-khaatir tha sab hosh ke saamaaN bhool gaye
bas zulf-e-pareshaN yaad rahi, hum jeb-o-garebaaN bhool gaye
Bahut khoob, achcha maTlaA hei.
umeed ka toofaN seene meiN aur lamha-e-rukhsat aankhoN meiN
kya sach hai, kya hai fareb-e-nazar, sab ai shab-e-hijraaN bhool gaye
Pahle miSreA meiN yeh kahaa jaarahaa hei (aek Taraf seene meiN ummeed kaa ToofaaN hei tou doosri Taraf lamHa-e-rukhSat aankhaoN meiN hei yaAni meHboob se rukhSat hourahe heiN. Doosre miSreA meiN shab-e-hijraaN ko mukhaaTib houne se yooN maAloom houtaa hei ke meHboob se mulaaqaat nah housaki. Is TaraH, meri nazar meiN dounoN miSraAoN meiN taZaad paidaa hougayaa hei. Albattah aek Soorat yeh nikal sakti hei ke doosre miSreA ko yooN kardiyaa jaaye. (kyaa sach thaa, kyaa thaa fareb-e-nazar, sab ai shab-e-hijraaN bhool gaye) yaAni jou kuch pahle miSreA meiN bayaan kiyaa gayaa hei wo maaZi kii baat thii lekin is waqt shab-e-hijraaN kaa Aalam jisko mukhaaTib kiyaa jaarahaa hei. Agar maiN ghalaT samajh rahaa hooN tou meri baat ko nazar andaaz kardeejiye.
tark-e-wafa ka woh lamha, woh gardish-e-dauraaN ka rukna
phir hum par jo kuchh guzri hai, kab ai gham-e-jaanaN bhool gaye?
Pahle miSreA ke pahle rukn meiN kami hourahi hei. Iski taSHeeH ke liye aap "tark-e-wafaa" kii bajaaye "nisyaan-e-wafaa" karsakte heiN. MaAnavi liHaaz se sheAr bahut hi achchaa hei. Kyaa kehne, waah waah.
sarsabz bahaaroN ki yaadeiN, shaadab zamane ki baateiN
yak laqt khizaaN jo aa pahunchi, hum rang-e-gulistaaN bhool gaye
Yeh sheAr bhi bahut achcha hei. Roman meiN aap ne "yak lakht" kii bajaye ghalaTi se "yak laqt" likhkhaa hei jisko durust karleejiye.
ta'meer-e-nasheman bhi ai dil ik kaavish-e-lahasil hi tau hai
thhi barq-e-ghazab jo sholafishaaN kya 'Daanish'-e-nadaaN bhool gaye?
Bahut khoob, waah waah, bahut achcha mqTaA hei.
Is kaamyaab takhleeq per maiN aapko dobaara apni daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
nawazish
Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 1:54 pm
by Daanish
Nazir saheb,
aadaab-o-tasleemaat
zarranawazi ke liye bohat bohat shukriya...ghazal tafseel se paRHne aur hosla afzaai-o-rehnumaayi karne ke liye aap ka mamnoon huN...'kya sach hai, kya hai fareb-e-nazar.."beshak qawaid ke aitabar se aap ka kehna durust hai, lekin yeh bhi hai ke hum roz marra ki zabaan meiN koi guzre hu'e waq'ae ki baat is tarah se pesh karte haiN--"khuda jaane kya sach hai, kya ghalat hai..."
ji haaN dar asl 'uf tark-e-wafa' mere 'system'meiN tark-e-wafa ki shakl meiN aaya hai...is wajah se wazn meiN ek rukn ki kami paida ho gayi..lekin aaj pehli martaba is par meri nazar paRHi....aap ka shukrguzaar huN...aap se yahi ummeed hai ke mustaqbil meiN bhi hum jab laghzish-e-paa ka shikaar honge, tau isi tarah se aap hamari rehnumaayi farmayenge...ja-e-ustad khaaliist...aap ke tajaawez sar aankhoN par qubool...
khaaksaar
Daanish