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ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh Dh`aNg puraanaa SaaHeb!
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:46 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab!
ek muddat ke ba'd HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN. chaNd hee din huYe Hindustan se waapas aayaa hooN. wahaaN kee maSrooriyaat meN shaa,i'ree kaa waqt kam hee miltaa th`aa. ph`ir bh`ee do "sufferee" GhazaleN ho hee gayeeN. in meN se ek aaj pesh kar rahaa hooN. Zaraa takaan door ho aur saaNs seeneh meN samaaYe to tafSeel se niyaaz HaaSil karne HaaZ^ir hooN gaa. ummeed hai keh aap apnee raaYe se nawaazeN ge. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
=====================
GHAZAL:
ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh DhaNg puraanaa SaaHib!
Dh`ooNDiYe aap koyee aur bahaanaa SaaHib!
Khatm aaKhir huwaa hastee kaa fasaanaa SaaHib
aap se seekh`e koyee saath` nibh`aanaa SaaHeb!
bh`ool kar hi sahee, KhwaaboN meN chale aaYeN aap
ho gayaa dekh`e huwe ek zamaanaa SaaHeb!
ham ne haath`oN kee lakeeroN meN tumheN Dh`ooNDaa th`aa
woh bh`ee th`aa i'shq kaa kyaa ek zamaanaa SaaHeb!
kyoN gaYe, kaise gaYe, yeh to hameN yaad naheeN
haaN magar yaad hai woh aap kaa aanaa SaaHeb!
koo-e-naakaamee-o-naumeedee-o-Hasratsanjee
ho gayaa ab to yehee apnaa Th`ikaanaa SaaHeb!
qaSr-e-ummeed, wo Hasrat ke HaseeeN Taj Mahal
haaYe kyaa ho gayaa woh Khwaab suhaanaa SaaHeb?
reHm aa jaaYe hai dushman ko bh`ee ik din lekin
tum ne seekh`aa hai kahaaN dil kaa dukh`aanaa SaaHeb?
aate aate hee to aaYe gaa hameN Sabr HuZ^oor
kh`el aisaa to naheeN dil kaa lagaanaa SaaHeb!
is kee baatoN meN kisee t^aur nah aanaa "Sarwar"
dil to deewaanah hai, kyaa is kaa Th`ikaanaa SaaHeb!
===================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Re: ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh Dh`aNg puraanaa SaaHeb!
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:22 am
by yasir shah
Sarwar Raz wrote:yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab!
ek muddat ke ba'd HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN. chaNd hee din huYe Hindustan se waapas aayaa hooN. wahaaN kee maSrooriyaat meN shaa,i'ree kaa waqt kam hee miltaa th`aa. ph`ir bh`ee do "sufferee" GhazaleN ho hee gayeeN. in meN se ek aaj pesh kar rahaa hooN. Zaraa takaan door ho aur saaNs seeneh meN samaaYe to tafSeel se niyaaz HaaSil karne HaaZ^ir hooN gaa. ummeed hai keh aap apnee raaYe se nawaazeN ge. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
=====================
GHAZAL:
ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh DhaNg puraanaa SaaHib!
Dh`ooNDiYe aap koyee aur bahaanaa SaaHib!
Khatm aaKhir huwaa hastee kaa fasaanaa SaaHib
aap se seekh`e koyee saath` nibh`aanaa SaaHeb!
bh`ool kar sahee, KhwaaboN meN chale aaYeN aap
ho gayaa dekh`e huwe ek zamaanaa SaaHeb!
ham ne haath`oN kee lakeeroN meN tumheN Dh`ooNDaa th`aa
woh bh`ee th`aa i'shq kaa kyaa ek zamaanaa SaaHeb!
kyoN gaYe, kaise gaYe, yeh to hameN yaad naheeN
haaN magar yaad hai woh aap kaa aanaa SaaHeb!
koo-e-naakaamee-o-naumeedee-o-Hasratsanjee
ho gayaa ab to yehee apnaa Th`ikaanaa SaaHeb!
qaSr-e-ummeed, wo Hasrat ke HaseeeN Taj Mahal
haaYe kyaa ho gayaa woh Khwaab suhaanaa SaaHeb?
reHm aa jaaYe hai dushman ko bh`ee ik din lekin
tum ne seekh`aa hai kahaaN dil kaa dukh`aanaa SaaHeb?
aate aate hee to aaYe gaa hameN Sabr HuZ^oor
kh`el aisaa to naheeN dil kaa lagaanaa SaaHeb!
is kee baatoN meN kisee t^aur nah aanaa "Sarwar"
dil to deewaanah hai, kyaa is kaa Th`ikaanaa SaaHeb!
===================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
muHtaram janaab
Sarwar SaaHib!
assalamOa'laikuM
sab se pehle to aap kaa tah-e-dil se kher.maqdam kartaa hooN ,,yaqeen keejiye aap ki kamee baRee shiddat se meHsoos hotee thee aur yeh a'jeeb Husn-e-ittifaaq hay keh meN is bazm meN kaafee a'rSay ba'd HaaZir hu.aa ,, abhee aik Ghazal peh daad dee hi thee keh aap ki Ghazal ba.u'nwaan "ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh Dh`aNg puraanaa SaaHeb!" nazar aa.ee 
--aap ki Ghazal dil kee banjar zameen par barsaat ki maanind barsee ,,aik she'r khuSooSee tor par pasand aayaa :
reHm aa jaaYe hai dushman ko bh`ee ik din lekin
tum ne seekh`aa hai kahaaN dil kaa dukh`aanaa SaaHeb?
yeh she'r aap ki zaat ki tarjumaani kartaa hay
aik Zimnee baat matle' ke Hawaalay se a'rZ karooN gaa keh zaraa sust ho gayaa hay ,,taGhazzul ki kamee bhi meHsoos hotee hay
ch`oRiYe, ch`oRiYe yeh DhaNg puraanaa SaaHib!
Dh`ooNDiYe aap koyee aur bahaanaa SaaHib!
pehle miSre' meN "ChoRiye CHoRiye "ke ba'd foran "yeh" zabaan rawaanee se adaa naheeN kar paatee ,,
aap kaa kyaa khayaal hay ?
khush rahye
du'aago
yasir
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:28 am
by Munawwar
Sarwar saahab,
Khaaksaar kii janaab se pehli dafaa guftagoo ho rahii hai. Janaab kii shaayarii ke deewaanoN meN ham bhii gine jaate haiN
Hairat meN hooN huzoor ke 18 ghantoN ke taveel hawaa'i safar ke baawajood dil-o-dimaagh ghazal saraa the. Ye aapkii "sufferii" ghazal waaqayii baRii khoobsoorat hai. NahiiN jaantaa ke maiN aapko daad nazr karne ke laayaq huN bhii yaa nahiiN, par himmat zaroor karooNga.
Dilii daad qabool kareN.
kyoN gaYe, kaise gaYe, yeh to hameN yaad naheeN
haaN magar yaad hai woh aap kaa aanaa SaaHeb!
qaSr-e-ummeed, wo Hasrat ke HaseeeN Taj Mahal
haaYe kyaa ho gayaa woh Khwaab suhaanaa SaaHeb?
reHm aa jaaYe hai dushman ko bh`ee ik din lekin
tum ne seekh`aa hai kahaaN dil kaa dukh`aanaa SaaHeb?
aate aate hee to aaYe gaa hameN Sabr HuZ^oor
kh`el aisaa to naheeN dil kaa lagaanaa SaaHeb!
YooN to saare ash'aar ek se baRhke ek maaloom paRtey haiN, par yeh chaar mujhe behad pasand aaye.
Aapkaa khaadim,
Bhaswar Dasgupta "Munawwar"
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 5:54 am
by jawaid badauni
Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz SaHab,
Aadaab
Khooshaamdeed. Aapki kamee bohat maHsoos ho rahee thee. Magar ab maiN Khood salanah rooKhsat ki tayyaree meN hooN.
Qadeemi wa riwayatee andaz ki Gazal hai jiske beshtar ashAAr bohat pasaNd aaye. Daad qubool farmaaiyega.
Teesre sher ke miSra-e oolah meN roman meN "hi" lafz type hone se rah gaya hai jis se miSra bewazn ho gaya hai. Baraye karam "edit" karke typo ki yeh Khaame durust kar lijiyega.
Aapka MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 5:58 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Shah SaaHeb: aadaab!
yaad-farmaayee ke liYe mamnoon hooN aur Ghazal kee paZeeraayee ke liYe shukr-guZaar!
Zikr meraa mujh` se behtar hai keh us meHfil meN hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:11 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Munawwar SaaHeb: aadaab!
aap kaa mamnoon hooN keh yaad kiyaa. muKhtaSar jawaab ke liYe ma'Zirat-Khwaah hooN. :suffer: se bohat th`akaa huwaa hooN. do ek din meN ma'mool par aa hee jaa,ooN gaa! Khair, ab mulaaqaat huyee hai to yeh ta,a'lluq qaa,im rehnaa chaahiYe!
aap kee nawaazish aur Ghazal kee paZeeraayee ke liYe dilee shukriyah.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:13 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab
yaad-aawaree aur Ghazal kee daad kaa shukriyah. typo kee nishaan-dehee ke liYe mamnoon hooN.
ummeed hai keh aap kaa :suffer: Theek ho gaa.
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:11 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: SaaHib,
PurkhulooS tasleemaat,
Khudaa ka shukr hei ke aap lambe safar se bakhair o Aafiyat lauT aaye aur apne saath 2 ghazlaoN ki saughat bhi lekar aaye.
Aapki pahli ghazal paRhkar bahut hi luTf aaya. Saare ashAaar bahut hi dilkash heiN. Meri dili daad aur mubarakbad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:27 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarram-e-bandah janaab Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab!
safar se to waapas aa gayaa lekin us :suffer: se abh`ee ch`uTkaarah naheeN milaa hai jo din ko raat aur raat ko din meN tabdeel kar detaa hai! ek zamaanah th`aa keh yeh takleef aisee ziyaadah naheeN hotee th`ee lekin ab?
muZ^maHil ho gaYe qawaa Ghalib
ab a'naaSir meN e'tidaal kahaaN?
Ghazal kee daad kaa tah-e-dil se mamnoon hooN. inshaa-Allah mulaaqaat rahe gee.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:30 pm
by Mahtab Qadr
Mohatram Sarwar Raz Sahib
Aadaab o Tasleem
Aapki is safari ghazal ne behad lutf baksha, andaaz e bayaan ne behad mutassir kia , har sher aap ki qudrat e kalam ka mazhar aur kuhna mashqui ka ma'alin hai. aapki dosri Ghazal ka bhi bechaini se intezar rahega . behad mamnoon haiN hamsab aapki is ghazal ke post karne par.
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:37 pm
by Zainab
mohtaram janaab sarwar saab tasleemaat;
ghazal umdah hai; mujko bohat pasand aayi;daad qubool
farmaaeeye;
talib e dua,
zainab
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:11 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Mahtab SaaHeb: aadaab!
yaad-aawaree ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal aap ko pasand aayee aur aap ne daad se mujh` ko sarfaraaz kiyaa. shurkiyah. ummeed hai keh aap se mulaaqaat hotee rahe gee.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:13 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
a'zeezah Sara SaaHebah:aadaab!
Ghazal kee paZeeraayee aur sitaayish ke liYe shukr-guZaar hooN. aap ne Ghazal dekh`ee aur us par tabSirah kiyaa. yeh meree i'zzat-afzaayee huyee aur maiN is ke liYe mamnoon hooN.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:16 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
muHtarimah Zainab SaaHebah: tasleemaat!
shaayad pehlee martabah aap se guftgoo kaa mauqa' milaa hai. Canada se kaafe dost Urdu kee meHfiloN meN aate haiN. in meN aap kaa iZ^aafah bohat Khush-aayind hai!
meree Ghazal ko pasand karne aur us par daad dene ke liYe maiN aap kaa mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hooN. Khush rahiYe.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:32 am
by Zainab
mukkarrami janab sarwar saab;aadaab;
taakhair ki maufi chahti hoon idhar zara busy rahi; sahi farmaya aapne yeh pehli baar aapse guftagu ka mauqa hai;jee haan canada se bohat se log login kar rahe hain aajkal; yeh bhi acha hi hai;
nayazmand,
zainab