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Ghazal--"humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna
Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:57 pm
by Shafeeq
dosto
ek ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai.
Ghazal
humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna thha
wagarna faasla dair-o-haram meiN kitna thha
yeh baat poochhiye unke sulagte aanchal se
asar lahu ka miri chashm-e-nam meiN kitna thha
tere khutoot-e-badan ka yeh sab tassaruf hai
wagarna zor hamare qalam meiN kitna thha
yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha
naye ufaq yeh ghazal ke bataa rahe haiN Shafeeq
shaoor-e-fikr-o-nazar dekh hum meiN kitna thha
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 8:27 am
by sbashwar
Mohtaram Shafeeq Sahib
ASAK
Achchi ghazal kehne par hamari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye. Yeh shair humko zyada pasand ayaa:
yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha
Shukria
Salem Bashwar
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:52 pm
by Naveed_Ahmad_Naveed
saaHib.
aap ki ghazal bohat umdaa hai.
khas toor par sh'er no 4 bohat hi pasnd aya.
Allah kare zoor e qalm aur ziyada.
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:35 pm
by Munawwar
Shafeeq Ji,
Waaqaii ghazal ke naye ufaq bataa rahe haiN aap. Yeh woh ufaq hai jise
khursheed nahiN chhu paataa, jahaaN maah nahiiN pahuNchtaa. Bahut
khoob!
Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:47 am
by Shafeeq
Mohtarma Sara Saheba, Mukarramii Salem Bashwar Saheb, Mohtaram Naveed Saheb, Janab Munnawar Saheb
ASAK
ghazal ki pazeerayi ke liye aap hazraat-o-khawateen ka shukrguzaar huN. aap se meri darkhwaast hai ke ijtemayi taur par mera izhaar-e-tashakkur qubool farmayeN.
zarrah_nawazi ke liye shukriya
wassalaam
Shafeeq Ahmed
Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:39 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Shafeeq SaaHib,
PurkhulooS tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna thha
wagarna faasla dair-o-haram meiN kitna thha
Pahle miSreA meiN alfaaz ki tarteeb "khud zauq ham mein" se aapki muraad hei (khud ham meiN zauq). Is TaraH kii ibaarateN asaatizah ke kalaam meiN bhi milti heiN. Iske baavajood meri apni zaati raaye yeh hei ke sheAr kehte waqt is qism ke ibhaam se gurez karnaa behtar hei.
Mafhoom ke iAtibaar se maTlaA bahut hi achchaa hei. waah waah.
yeh baat poochhiye unke sulagte aanchal se
asar lahu ka miri chashm-e-nam meiN kitna thha
Is sheAr meiN aapka mafhoom bahut gehraa hei jisko samajhne meiN Aam qaari ke Alaawa aHbaab-e-sukhan ko bhi diqqat pesh aasakti hei. MaiN tou yehi samajh sakaa (meri chashm-e-nam meiN lahoo aag jaisaa hei jisko pounchte houe meHboob kaa aanchal gawaahi degaa ke wo jal gayaa thaa). Bahut khoob, waah waah.
tere khutoot-e-badan ka yeh sab tassaruf hai
wagarna zor hamare qalam meiN kitna thha
Bahut khoob, waah waah, kyaa kehne. Roman meiN tere ko Harf "ye" ke baghair likhte waqt (tire) likhkhaa keejiye jaise is sheAr meiN.
yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha
Bahut khoob, waah waah, kyaa baat hei ~
naye ufaq yeh ghazal ke bataa rahe haiN Shafeeq
shaoor-e-fikr-o-nazar dekh hum meiN kitna thha
Jee bahut khoob, aapke saath mujhe bhi dekhnaa zaroori hei. MaiN tou muAtarif hooN aapki shaayeraanah SalaaHiyyataoN kaa.
Aakhir meiN Arz kartaa chalooN ke agar apne tabSireh meiN kisi qism kaa tajaavuz karjaauN tou nazar andaaz kardeejiyegaa.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.