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Ek Albeli Ghazal...
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:20 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Dear Friends,
EK Ghazal...jo ek tazruba bhi hai... le kar hazir hoa hoon. Ummed hai ke aap sab ko pasand aayegi... Bhai Abdullah Nazir aur Sara ji, Shummu ji se honest 'Comments' ki sakht jaroorat hai. Ummed hai maayus nahin karenge.
Khuda Hafiz,
aap ka apna
Munir Armaan Nasimi
khayaal achcha hei lekin
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:41 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Munir armaan nasimi SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Albeli ghazal ke unwaan ke teHt aapki kaawish qaabil-e-daad hei. Meri dili daad qubool farmaayiye:
MULAAHIZAAT:
beTiyaaN, tifliyaaN raAnaayiyaaN
surkhiyaan, shokhiyaaN shehnaayhiyaaN
Iskaa vazn hei faa'i'lun, faa'i'lun, mustaf'i'lun
laRkiyaaN, be-zabaaN, majbooriyaaN
hichkiyaaN, siskiyaaN, tanhaayiyaaN
iskaa vazn bhi pahle sheAr ke muTaabiq hei.
khiRkiyaaN, seeRhiyaaN, sargoushiyaaN
ungliyaaN, chiTThiyaaN, rusvaayiyaaN
Yeh bhi mandarja-e-baalaa vazn meiN hei.
imtiHaaN, tarjumaaN, khoobiyaaN
shaadmaaN, kaamraaN sachchaayiyaaN.
Is sheAr ke pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
aasmaaN, bijliyaaN, aandhiyaaN
kashtiyaaN, baadbaaN, purvaa'iyaaN.
iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, faa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun
garmiyaaN, kaarwaaN, udaasiyaN
saayibaaN, nekiyaaN, achchaayiyaaN.
iske pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mufaa'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
armaaN, raayigaaN, betaabiyaaN
dooriyaaN, darmiyaaN, shenaayiyaaN.
Pahle miSreA kaa vazn hei:
feAlun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun
aur doosre miSreA kaa vazn hei:
faa'ilun, faa'ilun, mustaf'ilun.
YooN meHsoos houtaa hei ke aap ne ghazal kehte hi us per nazar-e-caani kiyay baghair hi site per bhejdi. Ummeed ke is ghazal ko aek hi vazn meiN karlenge. Shukriyah.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:35 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Jee Bhai jaan,
Aap bilkul sahi farma rahe hain. Ghazal mukammal hoi aur main ne post kar diya. Bas... ek tazruba karna chaahta tha. Dekhna chaahta tha ke aap logon ko kaisi lagti hai meri ghazala.
Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri islaah farmayi. Aaindah bhi apne karam se nawazte rahenge..is ummed ke saath,
aap ka apna
Munir Armaan Nasimi
Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:46 am
by Shummu
wah andaaz bahut munfarid laga...achchi kosish ki hai..mufassil tabsira to mohtaram Abdullah nazir sahab farmaa hi chuke hain.....ab bas us pe ghaur kijiyega aur apni ghazal ko behtar banaane ki koshish kijiyega..AL THE BEST :)
Adaab,
shumaila
Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:49 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Behad Shukriya Shumaila ji, main ne Nazir saheb ki baat NOTE kar li hai aur unka shukr guzaar bhi hoon ke wohh meri ghazal ke liye itna waqt nikaal paaye... aise mukhlish log aaj kal kahan milte hain?
I am really grateful to 'urdubandhan' for providing me the opportunity.
Regards,
Armaan
Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 4:37 am
by rahmed25682
Salam Armaan sahab ...
wah kia baat hay janab ..ye to waqai ALBELI cheez pesh ki aap ne ..
Daad qubool farmaayeN/
Khush rahaiN
Khair Andesh
Raheel Ahmed
Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:21 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Sara ji,
Armaan nawazi ka behad shukriya. Meri "Ghazalaaaa... aap ko pasand aayi.... jahe-naseeb. Ummed karta hoon ke aage bhi hoshla afzai ki daulat se malamaal karengi.
Regards,
armaan
Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:23 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Dear Raheel Bhai,
Meri "Albeli Ghazal" aap ko behad pasand aayi... khuda ka shukr hai. Aisa karein.. aaj se ye Albeli ... aap ki hoi. Qobool farmayein.
With lotsa luvs,
munir armaan nasimi