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Tarahi Ghazal : Mushaira #16

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:14 am
by Daanish
dosto
khaaksaar ki adna kaavish pesh-e-khidmat hai.
paRHiye aur apni aara se nawaziye.
Daanish

maasiwa tere koi laaiq-e-tauqeer nahiN
ik tiri zaat hai jis ki koi taskheer nahiN

har nazaare meiN hai fitrat ke tira aks-e-jamaal
"kya mire dil meiN tire husn ki tasveer nahiN?"

kitne afsaane haqeeqat meiN badal jaate haiN
mire khwaaboN ke muqaddar hi meiN tA'beer nahiN

ab tau alfaaz bhi qaboo meiN nahiN rahte haiN
aur takhayyul ke bhi tarkash meiN koi teer nahiN

eik hi teer-e-nazar kar gaya sab ko bismil
chashm-e-khoobaaN kabhi minnatkash-e-shamsheer nahiN

ab woh andaaz-e-junooN bhi na raha ai Daanish
mausam-e-gul hai magar paanv meiN zanjeer nahiN







Waah waah, kyaa hi achchi TaraHi ghazal kahi hei

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:51 pm
by Abdullah Nazir

MuHtarami
Daanish SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut khoob hei jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT

maasiwa tere koi laaiq-e-tauqeer nahiN
ik tiri zaat hai jis ki koi taskheer nahiN


Bahut achchaa maTlaA hei waah waah. Baja farmaayaa aap ne "ik tiri zaa hi jis ki koi taskheer nahiN" yaAni jo mumkin-e-taskheer nahiN yaa qaabil-e-taskheer nahiN. Kyaa kehne.

har nazaare meiN hai fitrat ke tira aks-e-jamaal
"kya mire dil meiN tire husn ki tasveer nahiN?"


Bahut achchi gireh lagaayi hei, waah waah. Fitrat ke her nazaare meiN tiraa Aks-e-jamaal hei. Bahut khoob.

kitne afsaane haqeeqat meiN badal jaate haiN
mire khwaaboN ke muqaddar hi meiN tA'beer nahiN


Bahut achchaa sheAr hei.

ab tau alfaaz bhi qaboo meiN nahiN rahte haiN
aur takhayyul ke bhi tarkash meiN koi teer nahiN
\

Jee bilkul sach kahaa aap ne. BaAz auqaat aisi bhi kaifiyyat Taari houjaati hei. Bahut khoob.

eik hi teer-e-nazar kar gaya sab ko bismil
chashm-e-khoobaaN kabhi minnatkash-e-shamsheer nahiN


Bahut khoob. YooN maAloom houtaa hei doosre miSreA meiN lafz "kabhi" (kisi Soorat meiN bhi) ke maAni de rahaa hei.

ab woh andaaz-e-junooN bhi na raha ai Daanish
mausam-e-gul hai magar paanv meiN zanjeer nahiN


Waah, kyaa kehne. Bahut khoob maqTaA hei.


Aapkaa MukhliS,
Nazir.


Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:13 am
by Daanish
mohtarami Nazir Saheb
aadaab.
ghazal tafseel se paRHkar tabsirah farmane ke liye aap ka sipaasguzaar huN. aap ki tanqeed mere liye islaah ka darja rakhti hai. dar haqeeqat aap ki raye ka besabri se intezaar rahta hai. ghazal ki pazeeraii ke liye aap ka bohat bohat shukriyah.
khaaksaar
Daanish

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:04 am
by haamidbaaqri
mohtaram danish saahib
salaamun alaikum

aapki khoobsoorat ghazal nazar nawaaz huee.

bahut acchee ghazal hai.khaaskar girah.

hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n

khair andesh
haamidbaaqri

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:16 pm
by Daanish
Mohtaram Haamid Saheb

aadaab-o-tasleemaat

hausla afzaai aur ghazal ki pazeeraaiii ke liye aap ka bohat bohat shukriyah.

khaaknasheen
Daanish