• tarHi GHazal dil e deewanah ko sar gushtah e aohaam kiya

Posted: **Mon May 01, 2006 5:24 pm**

khawaateen o Hazraat
assalam alaikum
diye gaye tarhi miSre per apne chand ashAar aap ki nazr kar raha hoon aur ummeed karta hoon keh aap sab apni garanqadr aara se nawaaz kar mujhe mamnoon farmayenge

Ghazal
yuN raqeebon ne mire keenah e dil Aam kiya
mere qatil ko Ata manSab o inAam kiya

dard o takleef meN bhi chup rahe deegar aAzaa
shor har haal men dil ne saHar o shaam kiya

sar kashi dil ki baRhi jaati thi lamHa lamHa
kiya batayeN tumheN kistaraH oose raam kiya

kaamrani mira maqsoom nahi thi, nah mili
kutbah e baKHt ne har gaam pe naakaam kiya

hijr meN chhoR gai saath mira Aql e saleem
"dil e deewanah ko sargushtah e aohaam kiya"

un se paiGHaam e taqarrub ki rahi daad o sitad
meri aaNkhoN ne moHabbat meN baRa kaam kiya

neend, aaraam, sukooN, rahat e dil , hosh o Hawaas
hum ne kiya kiya nah mohabbat meN tire naam kiya

gar moHabbat bhi Ibaadat hai to phir is ke liye
kiyuN Husaini tujhe apnoN hii ne badnaam kiya

Husaini Khandwi

Posted: **Fri May 05, 2006 7:04 pm**

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Khuzema Husaini SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

yuN raqeebon ne mire keenah e dil Aam kiya
mere qatil ko Ata manSab o inAam kiya

achcha maTlaA hei. Khoob.

dard o takleef meN bhi chup rahe deegar aAzaa
shor har haal men dil hi ne subah shaam kiya

Is sheAr ke doosre miSreA meiN lafz Subh ko subah kehnaa ghalaT hei. SubH ko SubHa ke vazn per baandhaa jaasaktaa hei jaise "SubHa houti hei shaam houti hei hei". MiSraA yooN kardeejiye to theek houjaayegaa:
shor her Haal meiN dil ne saHar o shaam kiyaa
SheAr bahut achcha hei. Waah waah.

sar kashi dil ki baRhi jaati thi lamHa lamHa
kiya batayeN tumheN kistaraH oose raam kiya

Achaa sheAr hei. Waah waah.

kaamrani mira maqsoom nahi thi, nah mili
kutbah e baKHt ne har gaam pe naakaam kiya

achchaa sheAr hei, bahut khoob, waah waah.

hijr meN chhoR gai saath mira Aql e saleem
"dil e deewanah ko sargushtah e aohaam kiya"

gireh kaa miSraA bhi bahut achcha hei. Waah waah.

un se paiGHaam e moHabbat ki rahi daad o sitad
meri aaNkhoN ne moHabbat meN baRa kaam kiya

Aapka sheAr bilkul Theek hei lekin meri nazar meiN lafz-e-muHabbat ko dounoN miSraAoN meiN laane ki bajaaye pahle miSreA ko yooN kardeN to behtar hei:
un se paighaam-e-taqarrub ki rahi daad o sitad
SheAr bahut achchaa hei. Waah waah.

neend aaraam osukooN kaif o qarar hosh o Hawaas
hum ne kiya kiya nah mohabbat meN tire naam kiya

Pahlaa miSraA beHr se khaarij hougayaa hei jisko vazn meiN laane ke liye yooN kehsakte heiN:
neend, aaraam, sukooN, raaHat-e-dil, housh o Hawaas
achchaa sheAr hei. Bahut khoob.

gar moHabbat bhi Ibaadat hai to phir is ke liye
kiyuN Husaini tujhe apnoN hii ne badnaam kiya

achcha maqTaA hei. Bahut khoob.

Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

Posted: **Sat May 06, 2006 4:39 pm**

mohtaram nazir saheb
asalam alaikum
men aap ka behud mamnoon hoon jo aap ne meri raahnumaai farmaai
aap ki tajaveez ke mutabiq tabdeeliya kar di hen
bohat bohat shukriyah
Husaini

tarHi GHazal dil e deewanah ko sar gushtah e aohaam kiya

tarHi GHazal dil e deewanah ko sar gushtah e aohaam kiya

Bahut khoob, waah waah