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ek ghazal
Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:49 pm
by Shafeeq
apne zakhmoN ka mehka ke ban
hum ne toRaa Ghuroor-e-chaman
ab kahaaN Qutb ka woh Dakan
jis ki tehzeeb Gang-o-Jaman
phool tau khilke murjhhaa chuke
reh gayi Khar-o-Khas ki chubhhan
hum ne rakkhaa jahaN bhi qadam
bujh gayi raah-e-daar-o-rasan
raas aaya na Gham bhi mujhe
de rahi hai khushi bhi thhakan
chaandni bhi jo chhoole tujhe
tera ho jaaye mailaa badan
huN bazaahir akela magar
zaat meri hai ik anjuman
jo mire sheir mehka gaya
jaane thha kaun woh gulbadan
ho gaya shehr veeraaN Shafeeq
uThh gaya dosti ka chalan
Shafeeq Ahmed
Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 5:40 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Shafeeq SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
apne zakhmoN ka mehka ke ban
hum ne toRaa Ghuroor-e-chaman
Bahut achcha maTlaA hei, waah waah.
ab kahaaN Qutb ka woh Dakan
jis ki tehzeeb Gang-o-Jaman
Husn-e-maTlaA bhi khoob hei, waah waah.
phool tau khilke murjhhaa chuke
reh gayi Khar-o-Khas ki chubhhan
Kyaa kehne, waah waah.
hum ne rakkhaa jahaN bhi qadam
bujh gayi raah-e-daar-o-rasan
Is sheAr ke doosre miSreA meiN "bujh gayi" se wo maAni nahiN paidaa hourahe heiN jo "miT gayi" se housakte heiN. Bujh gayi se kuch aisaa izhaar houraha hei keh uski gehmaa gehmi meiN kami aagayi. Baharhaal ye aapki apni fikr ki baat hei.
Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
raas aaya na Gham bhi mujhe
de rahi hai khushi bhi thhakan
Achcha sheAr hei.
chaandni bhi jo chhoole tujhe
tera ho jaaye mailaa badan
Achcha sheAr hei. Waah waah.
huN bazaahir akela magar
zaat meri hai ik anjuman
Khoob, waah waah.
jo mire sheir mehka gaya
jaane thha kaun woh gulbadan
Bahut khoob, waah waah.
ho gaya shehr veeraaN Shafeeq
uThh gaya dosti ka chalan
Is maqTeA ke pahle miSreA ke vazn hourahaa hei:
Faa'ilun….faa'ilun….faa"ilaan
Jabke poori ghazal Behr-e-mutadaarik musaddas saalim meiN hei. Maulavi AbdulHaq ki kitaab meiN to Mutadaarik musaddas kaa hi zikr nahiN hei. Housaktaa hei ke izaalah ke zaHaaf se aakhiri rukn "faa'ilun"
"faa'ilaan" banaayaa jaasake aur behr ko naam diyaa jaaye (BeHr-e-Mutadaarik musaddas /Muzaal).
Baharhaal maAnavi liHaaz se maqTaA bahut achchaa hei, waah waah.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.