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ek ghazal

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:49 pm
by Shafeeq
apne zakhmoN ka mehka ke ban
hum ne toRaa Ghuroor-e-chaman

ab kahaaN Qutb ka woh Dakan
jis ki tehzeeb Gang-o-Jaman

phool tau khilke murjhhaa chuke
reh gayi Khar-o-Khas ki chubhhan

hum ne rakkhaa jahaN bhi qadam
bujh gayi raah-e-daar-o-rasan

raas aaya na Gham bhi mujhe
de rahi hai khushi bhi thhakan

chaandni bhi jo chhoole tujhe
tera ho jaaye mailaa badan

huN bazaahir akela magar
zaat meri hai ik anjuman

jo mire sheir mehka gaya
jaane thha kaun woh gulbadan

ho gaya shehr veeraaN Shafeeq
uThh gaya dosti ka chalan


Shafeeq Ahmed

Bahut khoob, waah waah

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 5:40 pm
by Abdullah Nazir

MuHtarami
Shafeeq SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

apne zakhmoN ka mehka ke ban
hum ne toRaa Ghuroor-e-chaman


Bahut achcha maTlaA hei, waah waah.

ab kahaaN Qutb ka woh Dakan
jis ki tehzeeb Gang-o-Jaman


Husn-e-maTlaA bhi khoob hei, waah waah.

phool tau khilke murjhhaa chuke
reh gayi Khar-o-Khas ki chubhhan


Kyaa kehne, waah waah.

hum ne rakkhaa jahaN bhi qadam
bujh gayi raah-e-daar-o-rasan


Is sheAr ke doosre miSreA meiN "bujh gayi" se wo maAni nahiN paidaa hourahe heiN jo "miT gayi" se housakte heiN. Bujh gayi se kuch aisaa izhaar houraha hei keh uski gehmaa gehmi meiN kami aagayi. Baharhaal ye aapki apni fikr ki baat hei.
Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.

raas aaya na Gham bhi mujhe
de rahi hai khushi bhi thhakan


Achcha sheAr hei.

chaandni bhi jo chhoole tujhe
tera ho jaaye mailaa badan


Achcha sheAr hei. Waah waah.

huN bazaahir akela magar
zaat meri hai ik anjuman


Khoob, waah waah.

jo mire sheir mehka gaya
jaane thha kaun woh gulbadan


Bahut khoob, waah waah.

ho gaya shehr veeraaN Shafeeq
uThh gaya dosti ka chalan


Is maqTeA ke pahle miSreA ke vazn hourahaa hei:
Faa'ilun….faa'ilun….faa"ilaan
Jabke poori ghazal Behr-e-mutadaarik musaddas saalim meiN hei. Maulavi AbdulHaq ki kitaab meiN to Mutadaarik musaddas kaa hi zikr nahiN hei. Housaktaa hei ke izaalah ke zaHaaf se aakhiri rukn "faa'ilun"
"faa'ilaan" banaayaa jaasake aur behr ko naam diyaa jaaye (BeHr-e-Mutadaarik musaddas /Muzaal).

Baharhaal maAnavi liHaaz se maqTaA bahut achchaa hei, waah waah.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.