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mere chashm-e-tar kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:15 pm
by Raji
suKhanwaraan-e-meHfil:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,
aajkal she'r goyii ka silsah mujh par kuch ziyadah hee mehrbaan hai isliye taqreeban roz hee kam az kam ek Ghazal kA tukka lag raha hai.
apnee ek taaza koshish pesh-e-Khidmat hai. apnee aaraa aur rehnumayii se zaroor navaaziye gaa.
mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a
Zahida Raees :Raji:
Ghazal:
~~~~~~
1. mere chashm-e-tar kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
chiraagooN se uThtaa duwaaN tum nah samjhe
2. gharonday ko jab aashiyaaN tum nah samjhe
Haqeeqat meN sood-o-ziyaaN tum nah samjhe
3. samajhne meN saaraa jahaaN tum ne samjhaa
magar meree fikr-e-rasaaN tum nah samjhe
4. zameeN kee tehooN meN rahe istaraaH tum
kabhii wusa'at-e-aasmaaN tum nah samjhe
5. tumheN e'itbaar-o-yaqeeN kis taraH deN?
hameN bhi agar raazdaaN tum nah samjhe
6. makeenooN se ghar kaa taSSawur hai meraa
faqat baat yeh, mehrbaaN tum nah samjhe
7. muKhaalif hawahooN ka saaYaa thaa sar peh
jise baKht ka imteHaaN tum nah samjhe
8. naheeN daad-haaYe suKhan kee Zaroorat
jo she'rooN meN dil kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
9. Khabar thee jise be-nishaaN manzilooN kee
use rehbar-e-kaarvaaN tum nah samjhe
10. yeh kyaa qiSSa-e-raftagaaN tum ne chehRaa?
rahii aarzoo darmiyaaN tum nah samjhe
11. bohat pur-takkaluf see rahoon peh :Raaji:
hoovii zindagii raahegaaN tum nah samjhe
(Zahida Raees :Raji: )
Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:50 pm
by Anmol
Adaab Raji Sis,
Waah bohot khoob ghazal kahi hay aap ne. Har sher umda hay. Daad pesh hay.
bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:04 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaa qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
[u[1. mere chashm-e-tar kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
chiraagooN se uThtaa duwaaN tum nah samjhe [/u]
MaTleA kaa khayaal bahut achchaa hei lekin mushabbah aur mushabbah bih meiN tavaazun barqaraar nahiN hei. Kam se kam pahle miSreA ko yooN karnaa chaahiye:
mire dil ki aah o fughaaN tum nah samjhe
2. gharonday ko jab aashiyaaN tum nah samjhe
Haqeeqat meN sood-o-ziyaaN tum nah samjhe
achcha sheAr hei, waah waah.
3. samajhne meN saaraa jahaaN tum ne samjhaa
magar meree fikr-e-rasaaN tum nah samjhe
Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "rasaaN" durust hei magar tarkeeb ghalaT hourahi hei. RasaaN laaHiqe ke Taur per isteAmaal houtaa hei bakhilaaf "rasaa" ke. Jaise "paighaam rasaaN". Is liye doosre miSreA ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
magar meraa dard-e-nihaaN tum nah samjhe
yaa jaise bhi aap munaasib samjheN.
4. zameeN kee tehooN meN rahe istaraaH tum
kabhii wusa'at-e-aasmaaN tum nah samjhe
Pahle miSreA meiN zameeN ki tahaoN meiN se kyaa aapki muraad kyaa koele, soune waghairah ki kaanaoN se hei? Agar nahiN to pahle miSreA ko yooN karnaa paRegaa:
kaTi umr saar jo saTH-e-zameeN per
yaa jaise bhi aap munaasib samjheN.
5. tumheN e'itbaar-o-yaqeeN kis taraH deN?
hameN bhi agar raazdaaN tum nah samjhe
achcha sheAr hei, waah waah. Meri nazar meiN pahle miSreA ki behtari ke liye yooN keh sakte heiN:
tumheN iatibaar-e-wafaa kaise aaye !
yaa jaisaa bhi aap munaasib samjheN.
6. makeenooN se ghar kaa taSSawur hai meraa
faqat baat yeh, mehrbaaN tum nah samjhe
Achcha SheAr hei, waah waah. Pahle miSreA ko ziyaadah vaazeh kiyaa jaaske to behtar hei warnah mafhoom to adaa hurahaa hei.
7. muKhaalif hawahooN ka saaYaa thaa sar peh
jise baKht ka imteHaaN tum nah samjhe
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
8. naheeN daad-haaYe suKhan kee Zaroorat
jo she'rooN meN dil kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
Waah waah, bahut khoob.
9. Khabar thee jise be-nishaaN manzilooN kee
use rehbar-e-kaarvaaN tum nah samjhe
Achcha sheAr hei, waah waah.
10. yeh kyaa qiSSa-e-raftagaaN tum ne chehRaa?
rahii aarzoo darmiyaaN tum nah samjhe
Achcha sheAr hei waah waah, lekin mushkil zaroor hei.
11. bohat pur-takkaluf see rahoon peh :Raaji:
hoovii zindagii raahegaaN tum nah samjhe
MaqTeA meiN :Raaji: aek shaayerah ki Haiciat se hei is liye lafz "samjhe" ko "samjheeN" kehnaa paRegaa jo radeef kaa aek mukhtalif HiSSah houjaayegaa. Dobaarah kehne ki koushish keejiye.
Chalte chalte yeh Arz karnaa chaahtaa hooN ke agar aapko meri kisi baat se ikhtilaaf hou, tou usko nazar andaaz kardeejiye.
[color]brown]
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
[/color]
Re: bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:20 am
by Raji
moHtaram Janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,
maiN apne dil kee gehrahiyoN see aap kee shukrguzaar hooN keh aap ne waqt nikaal kar meree is tukbandee par apnee giraaNqadr aaraa ka izhaar kiyaa.
taKheer se aap ke Khat ka jawab dene kee vajah yeh thee keh maiN abhi un nukaat peh ghaur kar rahii thee keh jinkee babat aap ne waZaHat talab kee thee.
Khush-naSeebii se ek aur meHfil meN moHtaram janab-e-Sarwar A. Raz SaaHeb ne bhi apnee muKhliSaanah aaraa ka izhaar kiyaa thaa jis ne mujhe apne zehn kee girheN kh`olne meN mazeed madad dee hai.
mere liye aap asaatizah kee aaraa bohat mo'atabar aur moHtaram hai is liye unheN apnii kam-fehmii se rad karne ka maiN soch bhi naheeN saktee.
aap aur moHtaram Sarwar SaaHeb kee aaraa kee roushnii meN Ghazal kee jo naYii Soorat maiN ne tarteeb dee hai voh yahaN pesh kar rahii hooN.
miSrooN ke neeche Hashiye se maiN ne Ghazal ke andar un tamaam tarameem ko z^aa,iir kiyaa hai jo mujhe samajh aaYe heN. agar ab bhi kisee baat ko samajhne meN yaa bayaan karne meN meree taraf se koyii kamii reh gayii hai tu azra-e-karam uskee babat meree rehnumaYii Z^aroor keejiye bohat shukrguzaar hooNgii.
mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a
Zahida Raees :Raji:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ghazal:
~~~~~
1. sulagtaa raha dil makaaN, tum nah samjhe
chiRagooN se uTh'taa dh'oo,aaN tum nah samjhe
2. kabhi dil kee dard-e-nehaaN tum nah samjhe
miree chashm-e-tar kee zubaaN tum nah samjhe
3. agar raaHat-e-aashiyaaN tum nah samjhe
Haqeeqat meN sood-o-ziyaaN tum nah samjhe
4. samajhne ko saaraa jahaaN tum ne samjh`aa
magar ik miree :daastaaN: tum nah samjh`e!
5. rahe zaat kee itnee gehraayii meN tum
kabh`ee wusa'at-e-aasmaaN tum nah samjhe
6. kareN e'tibaar-o-yaqeeN tum peh kyoN-kar ?
kabh`ee gar hameN raazdaaN tum nah samjh`e
7. makeeN hee naheeN to makaaN ph`ir kahaaN kaa?
keh bantaa hai kaise makaaN tum nah samjh`e
8. hawaa ke th`apeRooN ne gh`eraa thaa mujho
miree baKht kaa imteHaaN tum nah samjhe
9. mujh`e daad-o-bedaad kee kyaa Z^aroorat?
naheeN daad-o-bedaad kee ab Z^aroorat (doosree Soorat)
mire she'r kee gar zabaaN tum nah samjh`e
10. tumheN kyaa Khabar kaun see rehguzar par
hoovii justujuu, :raa,igaaN: tum nah samjhe (pahlee Soorat)
jalaa KhwahishooN ka :jahaaN: tum nah samjhe (doosree Soorat)
11. koyii Raaz ho tu chipaYe bhi :Raji:
har ik baat thee jab a'ayaaN tum nah samjh`e
(Zahida Raees :Raji: )
Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:08 am
by Raji
sara_j wrote:Dear Raji,
adaab.
ghazal per daad qubool keejiye.
sara
Azeezah Sara SaaHebah:
Ghazal kee pasandeedgi ke liye mamnoon hooN. Khat aur daad ke liye meree taraf se shukriyah qubool keejiye 
wassalam
Zahida Raees :Raji:
Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:54 am
by Raji
Anmol wrote:Adaab Raji Sis,
Waah bohot khoob ghazal kahi hay aap ne. Har sher umda hay. Daad pesh hay.
Azeezah Anmol SaaHebah:
Aadaab,
bohat a'rse ba'ad apnii kisee taKhleeq par aap kee aaraa dekh rahii hooN.
so dekh kar Khushi hoovii.
Ghazal kee pasandeedgi aur daad ke liye bohat mamnoon hooN.
Khush rahiye
muKhliS
Zahida Raees :Raji: