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guz#19
Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:54 pm
by zmufti
Ahl-e-bazm
aadaab
mushairey ke liye apni maamooli si ghazal pesh kar rahi hoN aap ki aaraa ka intizaar rahe ga
regards
zmufti
1. Har ghari Aazurdagi achchi nahiN
aur aankhoN maiN Nami achcchi nahiN
2. Be wafa se dosti achchi nahiN
“Apne dil se dushmani achchi nahiN”
3. Be sabab Nauha gari achi nahiN
Is qadar bechargi achchi nahiN
4. Itni be maaya nahiN hasti tirri
Na khuda ki Bandagi achi nahiN
5. kiyoN mirri qismat badalti hi nahiN
Aye falak yeh Kaj ravi achchi nahiN
6. Kyaa mile ga basti basti ghoom kar
Aisi bhee aawaargi achchi nahiN
7. Dil chura kar le gayyi bas ik nazar
Yeh tirri jadoogari achchi nahiN
8. Tujh se meray dil ki hai har ik khushi
bin tirre yeh zindagi achchi nahiN
9. Husn ko mastoor rehne dijye
haaye yeh Bepardagi achchi nahiN
10. kaaNch ke rangeen sapne mat saja
Chor de Sheesha gari achchi nahiN
11. ruk na jaaye soch ka behta safar
Zehn ki aaloodgi achchi nahiN
Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 4:03 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaramah
zmufti SaaHibah,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Guzarish 19 ke miSreA per aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
1. Har ghari Aazurdagi achchi nahiN
Aankh maiN har pal Nami achcchi nahiN
MatlaA bahut achchaa hei lekin pahle miSreA meiN her ghaRi ke baAd doosre miSreA meiN "her pal" ki Zaroorat nahiN. Macalan doosre miSreA meiN yooN kahaa jaasaktaa thaa:
aur aankhaoN meiN nami achchi nahiN
is ke bavajood, waah waah.
2. Be wafa se dosti achchi nahiN
“Apne dil se dushmani achchi nahiN”
Aam Taur per ghazal meiN mukhaaTibaT meHboob se houti hei. YooN lagtaa hei ke aap ne apni gireh meiN khud se khiTaab kiyaa hei. BaharHaal, bahut achchee gireh hei, waah waah.
3. Be sabab Nauha gari achi nahiN
Is qadar bechargi achchi nahiN
Yeh bhee achchaa Husn-e-maTlaA hei, waah waah.
4. Itni be maaya tirri hasti nahiN
Na khuda ki Bandagi achi nahiN
Yeh sheAr achchaa hei, waah waah. Lekin pahle miSreA ko agar yooN kardiyaa jaaye to behtar hei:
itni be-maayah nahiN hasti tiri
Is TaraH se maTleA kee mushaabihat se gurez kiyaa jaasaktaa hei.
5. kiyoN mirri qismat badalti hi nahiN
Aye falak yeh Kaj ravi achchi nahiN
Is sheAr meiN doosraa miSraA mafhoom ke liHaaz se achchaa nahiN hei. Isko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
mehrbaaN yeh kaj ravi achchi nahiN
Is TaraH se "falak" yaAni "khudaa" ko kaj ravi se mansoob karne se gurez karnaa behtar hei.
6. Kyaa mile ga basti basti ghoom kar
Aisi bhee aawaargi achchi nahiN
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
7. Dil chura kar le gayyi bas ik nazar
Yeh tirri jadoogari achchi nahiN
Bahut khoob, waah waah.
8. Tujh se meray dil ki hai har ik khushi
Tu nahiN to zindagi achchi nahiN
Bahut khoob, achchaa sheAr hei. Doosraa miSraA mere miSreA se bahut qareeb hougayaa hei.
9. Husn ko mastoor rehne dijye
haaye yeh Bepardagi achchi nahiN
Mafhoom ke liHaaz se achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
10. kaaNch ke rangeen sapne mat saja
Chor de Sheesha gari achchi nahiN
Achche andaaz kaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
11. ruk na jaaye soch ka behta safar
Zehn ki aaloodgi achchi nahiN
Yeh bhee achche andaaz kaa sheAr hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 5:15 am
by zmufti
Mohtaram Naazir saheb
Tasleemaat
aap ke tabsarey ke liye shukria
mujhe buhat kuch seekhney ka moqa milla
aapki tamaam tar tajaweez se mujhe ittefaq hai
sher no.5 ke baarey maiN arz karna chahti hoN keh mera ishaara "khuda" ki jaanib nahiN balke "sitaaroN ki chaal " ki janib hai
mera khayal thaa keh akcar log kam naseebi ka zimma daar "falak" ya "gardooN" ko ilm-e-najoom ki munacibat se tehraate haiN
apni kam ilmi ke baaec yeh nahiN keh sakti "falak" ko in maanoN maiN istemaal karna jaayez hai ya nahiN
wasalaam
zmufti
shukriyah
Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:03 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaramah
zmufti SaaHibah,
pi]PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Aapke javaab ke liye shurguzaar hooN.
aap ne likhkhaa hei:
sher no.5 ke baarey maiN arz karna chahti hoN keh mera ishaara "khuda" ki jaanib nahiN balke "sitaaroN ki chaal " ki janib hai
mera khayal thaa keh akcar log kam naseebi ka zimma daar "falak" ya "gardooN" ko ilm-e-najoom ki munacibat se tehraate haiN
apni kam ilmi ke baaec yeh nahiN keh sakti "falak" ko in maanoN maiN istemaal karna jaayez hai ya nahiN
Shaayeri meiN bahut saare alfaaz yaa unke aSli maAnaoN meiN isteAmaal houte yaa kinaayah aur tashbeeh ke Taur per. Jaise lafz "Sanam" buT ke maAni meiN isteAmaal houtaa hei yaa kinayeh ke Taur per bamAni "meHboob" ke. Aap ke sheAr se zaahir houtaahe hei ke aap ne "falak" (qismat banaane waale) ke maAni meiN liyaa hei. Yeh meri apni nazar hei jis se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa bilkul Zaroori nahiN hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.[/i]
waah waah
Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:25 am
by haamidbaaqri
salaamun alaikum
mohtaramah zarqa mufti saahebah
bahut khoobsoorat ghazal kahi hai aapne
hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n aur yu.n likhtee.n rahe.n
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
Re: waah waah
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:39 pm
by zmufti
haamidbaaqri wrote:salaamun alaikum
mohtaramah zarqa mufti saahebah
bahut khoobsoorat ghazal kahi hai aapne
hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n aur yu.n likhtee.n rahe.n
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
shukria Hamid saheb
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:40 pm
by zmufti
sara_j wrote:wah zarqa ji!
is khoobsurat kalaam per daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
sara
Shukria Sara jee
khush rahiye
zmufti
Re: guz#19
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 11:41 pm
by Anmol
zmufti wrote:5. kiyoN mirri qismat badalti hi nahiN
Aye falak yeh Kaj ravi achchi nahiN
7. Dil chura kar le gayyi bas ik nazar
Yeh tirri jadoogari achchi nahiN
10. kaaNch ke rangeen sapne mat saja
Chor de Sheesha gari achchi nahiN
11. ruk na jaaye soch ka behta safar
Zehn ki aaloodgi achchi nahiN
Waah
Zarqa Ji,
Bohot khoob. DheroN daad qubool kijiye.
Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:39 am
by zmufti
Anmol jee
meri sada si ghazal ki pazeeraaii ka shukria
khush rahiye
zmufti