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Ghazal
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 2:30 pm
by Mayank
Urdubandhan ke sabhii dostoN ko Mera salaam.. 'Meer taqi Meer' Saaheb kee zameen par ek Ghazal liKhne kee koShiSh kee hai.. Ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai.. paRhiye aur izhaar-e-Khayaal zaroor farmaaiYe... Ustaad-e-MoHtaram Abdullah Naazir SaHeb se islaaH-o-rehnumaaii kee gujaarish hai ....
ziNdagii yuuN nissar raKhate haiN,
aaShiqoN meiN Shumaar raKhate haiN..
haal-e-dil kee Khabar na ho kis ko,
lab pe ham eKhtiyaar raKhate haiN..
zeyb-o-ziinat se chehre haiN roShan,
Par jigar meiN Ghubaar raKhate haiN..
ThokareN Khaane kee huii aadat,
bewafaa se jo pyaar raKhate haiN..
iNtehaa-e-junuun-e-iShq yeh hai,
waade par aitbaar raKhate haiN.
sirf nafrat naheeN mire dil meiN,
hasrat-e-Khoo-e-yaar raKhate haiN..
ham naheeN karte haiN taGhaaful phir,
aap kyoN dil-e-Khaar raKhate haiN..
haasil-e-ziNdagii naheeN kuchh par,
KhwaahiSheN be-Shumaar rakhate haiN..
soch kar phir na ho khata-e-iShq,
daaman ab daaG-daar raKhaTe haiN..
falsafaa-e-hayaat kyaa hai'Mayank'?
hasrat-o-chaah maar raKhate haiN..
-Manish Bansal 'Mayank'
Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:41 pm
by Star Mind
Mayanak jee, aadaab
janab aap ko Urdu Bandhan maiN Khush aamaadeed kehte haiN ! aap ko yahaaN dekh kar bohut Khushee hoi ! :)
aap ki Ghazal bohut Khoob hai ! aur aap ko mazeed daad is baat kee k aap ne meer jaise shaai'r ki zameen maiN achchi kaasht kaaree kee hai ! ;)
daad Haazir hai
shukriya
Zia Baloch
Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 7:54 am
by Mayank
sara_j wrote:Mayank ji,
adaab arz hei.
sabse pehle aapko urdubandhan per khushamdeed!
phir jald haazir houngi.
sara
Sara jee,
aadaab.. Aap ko deKh kar bohat khushi huii.. ummeed hai jald hee aap se baat hogii... Apna Khayaal raKhiye..
-Mayank
Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:02 am
by Mayank
Star Mind wrote:Mayanak jee, aadaab
janab aap ko Urdu Bandhan maiN Khush aamaadeed kehte haiN ! aap ko yahaaN dekh kar bohut Khushee hoi ! :)
aap ki Ghazal bohut Khoob hai ! aur aap ko mazeed daad is baat kee k aap ne meer jaise shaai'r ki zameen maiN achchi kaasht kaaree kee hai ! ;)
daad Haazir hai
shukriya
Zia Baloch
Zia Bhaaii saahab,
Aadaab,
Aap ne ess chhoti sii koShiSh ko saraaha yeh to aap ka baRappan hai aur hamaare liye bohat baRi baat hai...aap ne sach farmaaya hai meer jaise shaai'r ke zameeN par likhnna itna asaan naheeN, phir bhee hamne yeh gustaakhi kar daali... :) ummed na thaa ke kisii ko pasand aayegii.. phir bhee aap ne pasand kiya aur hausala aur izzat afzaayi kee, ess liye maiN aap ka tah-e-dil se Shukra-guzaar huuN.. Apna Khayaal raKhiYe..
-Mayank
Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:59 am
by Daanish
Mayank ji
Khush amadeed.
aap ki is taKhleeq par aap se tabaadila-e-Khayaal kar chuka huN.
MoHtaram Nazir SaHeb bawaqt-e-fursat agar tabsirah karenge tau shayad muKhtalif pehluoN par roshni Daalenge.
mashq-e-suKhan jaari rakhiye.
muKhlis
Daanish
Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 3:44 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Mayank SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Apni is ghazal ke ashAar per meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
ziNdagii yuuN nissar raKhate haiN,
aaShiqoN meiN Shumaar raKhate haiN..
Jab aapko maAloom hei ke aap Meer kee Zameen meiN ghazal kehrahe heiN tou aapko unke qawaafi se HaTkar koii qaafiyah isteAmaal karnaa hou tou samjhnaa chaahiye ke us lafz ko kisTaraH se isteAmaal kiyaa jaataa hei.
Aapke pahle miSreA meiN lafz "nicaar" hei jo Sifat (adjective) yaa "nicaar hounaa" (feAl-e-laazim = intransitive verb) yaa phir "nicaar karnaa" (transitive verb) kee Soorat meiN isteAmaal karsakte heiN.
Agar ham kaheN "nisaar rakhte heiN" tou yeh muHaavire ke khilaaf hougaa.
Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "shumaar" ism-e-muzakkar yaAni (noun masculine gender hei.). Iskae isteAmaalaat yooN heiN:
Shumaar karna (v.t.), shumaar hounaa yaa shumaar meiN aanaa (v.i). "shumaar rakhnaa" kee aek Soorat meiN gunjaayish housakti hei ke kuch afraad, ashyaa yaa aAdaad kee ginti (accounting) rakhkheN. Is TaraH aapke maTleA ke dounoN qaafiyaoN kee vajh se yeh mauzoon houne ke bavajood kamzour hougayaa hei.
Ziyaadah vaZaaHat ke liye chaliye Meer ke maTleA per ghaur karte heiN:
aarzooyeN hazaar rakhte heiN
tou bhee ham dil ko maar rakhte heiN.
Pahle miSreA meiN hazaar aarzooyeN rakhnaa is maAni ke liHaaz se bilkul durust hei ke dil meiiN hazar yaAni bahut saari aarzooyeN rakhte heiN.
Doosre miSreA meiN dil ko maar rakhnaa muHaavirah hei.
haal-e-dil kee Khabar na ho kis ko,
lab pe ham eKhtiyaar raKhate haiN..
Pahle miSreA meiN aap kahnaa chaahte heiN "kisi ko" aur kehrahe heiN "kis ko" jiski vajh se miSraA maAni ke liHaaz se ghalaT hourahaa hei. Doosre miSreA ko nazar meiN rakhte houe pahle miSreA ko yooN karsakte heiN:
Haal-e-dil se hou koii kiyuN waaqif
zeyb-o-ziinat se chehre haiN roShan,
Par jigar meiN Ghubaar raKhate haiN..
waah waah, bahut khoob.
ThokareN Khaane kee huii aadat,
bewafaa se jo pyaar raKhate haiN..
bahut khoob, waah waah.
iNtehaa-e-junuun-e-iShq yeh hai,
waade par aitbaar raKhate haiN.
Bahut bahut khoob, waah waah.
Pahle miSreA meiN agar "yeh hei" kee bajaye "hei yeh" kahaa jaaye tou behtar hei meri nazar meiN.
sirf nafrat naheeN mire dil meiN,
hasrat-e-Khoo-e-yaar raKhate haiN..
Is sheAr meiN shutr-gurbah hei. Pahle miSreA meiN "mire dil meiN" uske baAd doosre miSreA meiN "rakhte heiN". Iskaa ilaaj karne ke liye aap pahle miSreA ko yooN karsakte heiN:
dil meiN ham apne nafrataoN kee jagah
doosre miSreA meiN "Hasrat-e-deed-e-yaar rakhte heiN" se behtari paidaa houjaayegi.
ham naheeN karte haiN taGhaaful phir,
aap kyoN dil-e-Khaar raKhate haiN..
doosraa MiSraA vazn meiN nahiN hei yaAni beHr se khaarij hourahaa hei aur "dil-e-khaar" yaAni khaar kaa dil koii maAni nahiN de rahaa hei. Is sheAr ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
Ham ko un se nahiN gilah koii
dil meiN wo kiyuN ghubaar rakhte heiN
haasil-e-ziNdagii naheeN kuchh par,
KhwaahiSheN be-Shumaar rakhate haiN..
Bahut khoob, waah waah.
soch kar, phir na ho khata-e-iShq,
daaman ab daaG-daar raKhaTe haiN..
Achcha sheAr hei.
falsafaa-e-hayaat kyaa hai'Mayank'?
hasrat-o-chaah maar raKhate haiN..
Behtar hei ke Is maqTeA ko yooN kardeN:
falsafa yeh hei zindagi ka Mayank
Hasrat-e-dil ko maar rakhte heiN.
Aapka meri aaraa se muttafiq hounaa Zaroori nahiN hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:00 am
by Mayank
Daanish wrote:Mayank ji
Khush amadeed.
aap ki is taKhleeq par aap se tabaadila-e-Khayaal kar chuka huN.
MoHtaram Nazir SaHeb bawaqt-e-fursat agar tabsirah karenge tau shayad muKhtalif pehluoN par roshni Daalenge.
mashq-e-suKhan jaari rakhiye.
muKhlis
Daanish
Danish saahab,
Aadaab!
Sab se pehle maiN aap ka Shukr guzaar huuN jo aap ne mujhe ess forum meiN aane ka neywta diYa jahaaN Ustaad-e-MoHtaram Abdullah Naazir SaHeb jaise Shaks islaah-o-rehnumaa'i karte haiN.. ess forum par aakar behad achchha laga.. bohat he achchhe shaayar haiN yahaaN, aap duubara ess taKhleeq par haazir huye, ess ke liYe tah-e-dil se ShukriYa..
Mayank
Re: Bahut khoob, waah waah
Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:16 am
by Mayank
Ustaad-e-MoHtaram Abdullah Naazir SaHeb,
Aadaab,
aap ka yeH Khat paRh kar be intihaa Khushi huii... Aap jaise ShaKhsiyat ne mere Ghazal par islaah kiya aur aaShaar pasand kiye yeh mere liye faKhr kee baat hai...
ziNdagii yuuN nissar raKhate haiN,
aaShiqoN meiN Shumaar raKhate haiN..
Aap ne ess Sher par jitna khul kar roShni daali hai, ess andaaz se roShni daalne waale net kee duniya meiN bohat kam haiN.. waqaae^ mujhe se Ghalti huii aur aap pur kaShiSh andaaz meiN mujhe mere Ghalti se ru-ba-ru karaaya hai.. Lekin matla puri tarah Khaariz ho gaya hai, aur bina matle ke Ghazal si naheeN lagti, aur matla hee sahii naheeN rahe to Ghazal meiN raunak naheeN hoti, ess liye matla phir se kahna para.. ab matla yuuN raKheN, tou kaisa rahega...?
'bewafaa'oN se pyaar raKhate haiN
phir bhee dil meiN qaraar raKhate haiN'
WEBMASTER wrote:haal-e-dil kee Khabar na ho kis ko,
lab pe ham eKhtiyaar raKhate haiN..
Pahle miSreA meiN aap kahnaa chaahte heiN "kisi ko" aur kehrahe heiN "kis ko" jiski vajh se miSraA maAni ke liHaaz se ghalaT hourahaa hei. Doosre miSreA ko nazar meiN rakhte houe pahle miSreA ko yooN
karsakte heiN: Haal-e-dil se hou koii kiyuN waaqif
waah! waah! . bohat Khoob !
zeyb-o-ziinat se chehre haiN roShan,
Par jigar meiN Ghubaar raKhate haiN..
waah waah, bahut Khoob.
ThokareN Khaane kee huii aadat,
bewafaa se jo pyaar raKhate haiN..
bahut khoob, waah waah.
iNtehaa-e-junuun-e-iShq yeh hai,
waade par aitbaar raKhate haiN.
Bahut bahut khoob, waah waah.
Pahle miSreA meiN agar "yeh hei" kee bajaye "hei yeh" kahaa jaaye tou behtar hei meri nazar meiN.
AaShaar pasand karne ke liYe ShukRiya.. Sujhaab bhee bohat khoob hai...
sirf nafrat naheeN mire dil meiN,
hasrat-e-Khoo-e-yaar raKhate haiN..
Is sheAr meiN shutr-gurbah hei. Pahle miSreA meiN "mire dil meiN" uske baAd doosre miSreA meiN "rakhte heiN". Iskaa ilaaj karne ke liye aap pahle miSreA ko yooN karsakte heiN: dil meiN ham apne nafrataoN kee jagah doosre miSreA meiN "Hasrat-e-deed-e-yaar rakhte heiN" se behtari paidaa houjaayegi.
shutr-gurbah ke baare meiN jaan kaari dene ke liYe main aap ka Shukr guzaar huuN.. Mujeh ess ke jaankaari thee lekin aDhuri jaankaari thee... ab shutr-gurbah kee Ghalti aage se mere GhazaloN meiN shaayad hee nazar aaye... Sher ka duusra misra bhee behtar ho gaya hai.... aur kya pehle misre ko ham ess tarah bhee likh sakte haiN, 'nafrateN hee naheeN faqat dil meiN'
ham naheeN karte haiN taGhaaful phir,
aap kyoN dil-e-Khaar raKhate haiN.. doosraa MiSraA vazn meiN nahiN hei yaAni beHr se khaarij hourahaa hei aur "dil-e-khaar" yaAni khaar kaa dil koii maAni nahiN de rahaa hei. Is sheAr ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
Ham ko un se nahiN gilah koii
dil meiN wo kiyuN ghubaar rakhte heiN
'dil e Khaar' ke baare meiN aap kee raa'ey durust hai... Dil-e-khaar liKhne se mera matlab pura naheeN ho raha hai.. aur aap ne Sher ko Theek kiya hai... wo bhee sahii hai.... kya ham ess Sher ko ess tarh bhee liKh sakte haiN....? 'aap kyuN dil meiN Khaar raKhate haiN'?
haasil-e-ziNdagii naheeN kuchh par,
KhwaahiSheN be-Shumaar rakhate haiN..
Bahut khoob, waah waah.
soch kar, phir na ho khata-e-iShq,
daaman ab daaG-daar raKhaTe haiN..
Achcha sheAr hei.
ShukriYa...
falsafaa-e-hayaat kyaa hai'Mayank'?
hasrat-o-chaah maar raKhate haiN..
Behtar hei ke Is maqTeA ko yooN kardeN:
falsafa yeh hei zindagi ka Mayank
Hasrat-e-dil ko maar rakhte heiN.
Aapka meri aaraa se muttafiq hounaa Zaroori nahiN hei.
Mohtaram Nazir saahaab, aap ne jis Dhang se ess Ghazal meiN mujhe meri GhaltiyaaN bataa'i hai aur Ghazal ko theek kiya hai, uss ke liye kuchh bhee kahna kam hogaa, Aap se guzaariSh hai kee aage bhee yuuN hee mujh par inaayat e karam banaaYe raKheN aur hameSha Ghazal ko sahii karne ke liye bey Shak apni raa'ey dete raheN... Khat meiN kahiiN mujh kam aqal kee koii baat buri lagi ho to maaf keejiYega...
Aap ka mamnuun
Mayank
Ghazal Ab ess tarah huaa ..
bewafaao'N se pyaar raKhate haiN
phir bhee dil meiN qaraar raKhate haiN..
Haal-e-dil se hou koii kiyuN waaqif,
lab pe ham eKhtiyaar raKhate haiN..
zeyb-o-ziinat se chehre haiN roShan,
par jigar meiN Ghubaar raKhate haiN..
iNtehaa-e-junuun-e-iShq hai yeh,
waade par aitbaar raKhate haiN.
nafrateN hee naheeN faqat dil meiN,
hasrat-e-deed-e-yaar raKhate haiN..
ham ko un se nahiiN gilah koii,
dil meiN wo kiyuN Ghubaar raKhate haiN..
haasil-e-ziNdagii naheeN kuchh par,
KhwaahiSheN be-Shumaar rakhate haiN..
soch kar, phir na ho khata-e-iShq,
daaman ab daaG-daar raKhaTe haiN..
falsafa yeh hei zindagii ka Mayank,
Hasrat-e-dil ko maar rakhte haiN..
shukriyah
Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:21 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami
Mayank SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Aaape javaab ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.
"dil meiN ham apne nafrataoN kee jagah"
se meri muraad thee ke dil meiN nafrateN nahiN heiN.
Aapkaa nayaa miSraA hei:
'nafrateN hee naheeN faqat dil meiN'
Is se aapka mafhoom yeh adaa hourahaa hei ke aapke dil meiN nafrateN bhee heiN. Agar aap yehi kahnaa chaahte heiN tou aapka miSraA bilkul durust hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:32 pm
by Mayank
Nazir saahab,
aadaab,
Jee haaN, maiN yehi kahna chaahat huuN,, mera maan.na haiN kee koii bhee insaan kabhii bhee pura sahii naheeN ho sakta. kisii ka dil pura paak naheeN ho sakta, ess tarah mere ess dil meiN bhee nafrat hai, lekin sirf nafrat naheeN haiN.. hasrat-e-deed-e-yaar bhee hai.. Agar aisa kahna gair Shayarana hai, to muaafi ka talabgaar huuN.. :)
Aap ne duubaara aa kar Ghazal par roShani daali, ess ke liye maiN aap ka mamnuun huuN.. ummeed hai hamesha apni raa'ey se navaazate raheNge.. DuaaoN meiN aap ka naam hamesha yaad rahegaa...
aap ka apna,
-Mayank