WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramaat o MuHtarameen
Ahbaab-e-sukhan,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aek maAmooli see ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hei. Ummeed ke apni giraaNqadr aaraa se navaazkar shukriyah adaa karne kaa mauqaA denge.

Urdu meiN type karne kaa waqt nahiN milaa. Agar furSat mili tou image file pesh karne kee koushish karungaa.

G H A Z A L:

Sunkar Adoo kee baat wo mujh se khafaa houaa
Phir bhee mire labaoN se nah koii gilaa houaa

Naaguftani hei Haal-e-dil-e-naatawaaN magar
Niklaa hooN ghar se teraa patah poochtaa houaa

Tarz-e-wafaa-e-shauq peh aankheN dikhaaye hei
Kyaa jaane mere dushman-e-jaaN ko yeh kyaa houaa

Sehbaay-e-jaam-e-lab nahiN, chashm-e-karam sahi
Kab se hei tere dar peh musaafir paRaa houaa

Rehtaa hei kiyuN kadoorat-e-khaaTir kaa iHtimaal
Teri gali meiN kiyuN hei yeh khaTkaa lagaa houaa

Hasb-e-uSool baanT chukaa sab amaanateN
Baaqi hei jou bhee paas, hei teraa diyaa houaa

Nazir fasurdah dil hou kiyuN Haal-e-tabaah per
Raah-e-junoon-e-shauq meiN kis kaa bhalaa houaa
=====


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapke giraNqadr tabSireh ke liye beHad shukrguzaar hooN.

Aap ne jin ashAar meiN iltibaas kee Soorat kaa zikr kiyaa hei, is meiN koii shak nahiN ke agar maiN unkaa sarsari jaayizah lene kee koushish karoongaa tou naakaam rahuNgaa kiyuNkeh maiN pahle hee ArZ karchukaa hooN keh yeh aek maAmooli see ghazal hei.

Aap ne likhkhaa hei:

Sunkar Adoo kee baat wo mujh se khafaa houaa
Phir bhee mire labaoN se nah koii gilaa houaa

:laboN peh gilaa aanaa: aur :zabaan se gilaa karnaa: shaayad ziyaadah faSeeH haiN. :laboN se gilaa honaa: dekh`aa naheeN aur Ghair-maanoos saa lagaa. lekin is kaa yeh mat^lab bh`ee naheeN hai keh Ghalat^ hai!
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Tarz-e-wafaa-e-shauq peh aankheN dikhaaye hei
Kyaa jaane mere dushman-e-jaaN ko yeh kyaa houaa

:t^arz-e-wafaa-e-shauq: se aap kee muraad kyaa hai? i'shq kee wafaa kaa t^areeqah? agar aisaa hai to is kaa mat^lab mujh` par waaZ^eH naheeN ho sakaa.
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Sehbaay-e-jaam-e-lab nahiN, chashm-e-karam sahi
Kab se hei tere dar peh musaafir paRaa houaa

pehle miSre' se kisee t^araH :musaafir: kaa ishaarah naheeN miltaa hai. agar us ke dar par a'ashiq paRaa hotaa to ek baat th`ee lekin musaafir?
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yaqeena" yeh meree fehm kaa hee quSoor hai keh ash,a'ar kee gehraayee ko naheeN poNhach paa rahaa hooN. tashreeH kaa shukriyah peshagee HaaZ^ir hai!

1- MaTleA meiN iltibaas kee gunjaayish yuN hei ke agar do miSraAoN kee bajaaye Sirf doosre miSreA ko paRhaa jaaye. Wagarnah doosre meiSreA meiN lafz "adaa" kee maAnaviyyat zaahir hourahi hei. Is ke baavajood maiN aap se muttafiq hooN ke aise ahem lafz kaa miSreA meiN mustatir hounaa iltibaas paidaa karrahaa hei. Meraa maTlab hei doosre miSreA ko yuN samjhaa jaasaktaa hei:
Phir bhee mire labaoN se nah koii gilah (adaa) houaa.
Mazeed yeh ke aap ne jin muHaaviraoN kaa zikr kiyaa wo tou urdu muHaaviraoN kaa aek HiSSah heiN. Jab zikr hee karnaa thaa tou aap lab ke taAalluq se saare muHaavire bayaan karte tou mujh jasie kam-ilm kaa kuch faayidah houjaataa. Jaise lab se lab kaa lagnaa, lab lagaakr muhr lagaanaa, lab lagaakar waraq uThaanaa, (bamaAni moocheN = labeN bahut baRhgaie heiN), lab band houjaanaa = houNTaoN kaa juR jaanaa, lab band hounaa = hounTaoN kaa chipak jaanaa, lab lagaanaa = thook lagaanaa, lab khoulnaa = baat cheet karnaa, lab-e-maAshooq hounaa = teer kaa nishaneh per jaakar sofaar tak dhans jaanaa, lab nah hilaanaa = khaamoush rehnaa, waghairah.

MuHaaviraoN ke Alaawah agar lafz se mafhoom adaa houtaa hei tou usko ham ghalaT nahiN keh sakte. Macalan agar maiN kahuN "aapkaa sar aapkaa hei aur meraa sar meraa apnaa hei". Is meiN koii muHaavirah nahiN lekin baat vaZeH hourahi hei.

Khair jabke is maTleA meiN lafz "adaa" kee kami ko maiN khud bhee meHsoos karrahaa hooN, is meiN mazeed beHc kee Zaroorat nahiN hei.

2- Tarz-e-wafaa-e-shauq peh aankheN dikhaaye hei
Kyaa jaane mere dushman-e-jaaN ko yeh kyaa houaa

aap ne sirf Tarz-e-wafaay-e-shauq kee tarkeeb kaa tarjuma kiyaa hei jo apni jagah bilkul durust hei. Yeh nahiN souchaa ke mukhaaTibat kis se hei. Jee meri muraad meHboob se hei jou meri wafaa-e-shauq ke usloob per barham hei. Aur doosra miSraA mazeed vaZaaHut ke liye mujh naaqis-ul-ilm kee nazar meiN kaafi se ziyaadah hei.

3- Sehbaay-e-jaam-e-lab nahiN, chashm-e-karam sahi
Kab se hei tere dar peh musaafir paRaa houaa

Is sheAr ke baare meiN pahlii baar aapkaa nayaa falsafah paRhne ko mil rahaa hei ke agar doosre miSreA meiN "musaafir" kaa zikr hou tou pahle miSreA meiN uski nisbat se kuch nah kuch vaaZeH baat houni zaroori hei micaal ke Taur per manzil, saaHil, waghairah.

Shaayer khud ko musaafir kehrahaa hei aur pahle miSreA meiN mukhaaTibat mahboob se hei. Kyaa agar koii shakhs yeh kahe "maiN saaHil per tumhaaraa intezaar karrahaa thaa" tou yeh bhee kahaa jaaye ke Toofaan aane waalaa thaa. Mehrbaani farmaakar is baat kee tashreeH keejiye warnah meri rehbari kii bajaaye gumraahi houjaayegi.

MaiN kabhi yeh nahiN keh saktaa ke aapki fehm kaa quSoor hei lekin ifhaam o tafheem ke liye darwaazah khulaa rakhnaa chaahtaa hooN taakeh agar meri ghalaTi hei tou maiN samajhkar uskaa iAtiraaf karooN.

Aakhir meiN yeh Arz karoongaa ke MaTleA ke baare meiN bahut baRi Had tak aapka iAtiraaZ durust hei. Doosre 2 sheAraoN meiN Ibaarat ko paRhne meiN ikhtiSaar se kaam liyaa gayaa hei. Mafhoom samajhne kee bajaaye alfaaz kee ginti kee gayi hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

biraadaram Nazir SaaHeb:aadaab!

mujh` ko ph`ir maayoosee kaa saamnaa karnaa paRaa! Khudaa jaane aap koyee sawaal yaa tanqeed dekh`te hee itne muZ^t^arib kyoN ho jaate haiN? seedh`e-saade sawaalaat kee aisee hee tashreeH karne meN kyaa qabaaHat hai? kabh`ee Ghaur kareN ge to aap ko shaayad eHsaas ho gaa keh aap kee jh`uNjh`laahaT se aap kaa hee maqaam muta,accir hotaa hai. maiN ne teen sawaal kiYe th`e. un kaa yeh Hashr huwaa. agar pooree Ghazal par likh`taa to wallah-o-a'lam aur kyaa hotaa!

Zaraa Ghaur keejiYe aur mumkin ho to sanjeedagee se sochiYe keh aap ne kyaa jawaab diYe haiN:

(1) meraa sawaal :laboN se gilaa honaa: par th`aa so us ko aap ne kam-o-besh tasleem kar liyaa. shukriyah! us ke ba'd aap ne farmaayaa hai keh:

"Mazeed yeh ke aap ne jin muHaaviraoN kaa zikr kiyaa wo tou urdu muHaaviraoN kaa aek HiSSah heiN. Jab zikr hee karnaa thaa tou aap lab ke taAalluq se saare muHaavire bayaan karte tou mujh jasie kam-ilm kaa kuch faayidah houjaataa. Jaise lab se lab kaa lagnaa, lab lagaakr muhr lagaanaa, lab lagaakar waraq uThaanaa, (bamaAni moocheN = labeN bahut baRhgaie heiN), lab band houjaanaa = houNTaoN kaa juR jaanaa, lab band hounaa = hounTaoN kaa chipak jaanaa, lab lagaanaa = thook lagaanaa, lab khoulnaa = baat cheet karnaa, lab-e-maAshooq hounaa = teer kaa nishaneh per jaakar sofaar tak dhans jaanaa, lab nah hilaanaa = khaamoush rehnaa, waghairah."

ya'nee pehle to aap ne apnee "kam-i'lmee" kaa Zikr kiyaa aur ph`ir apnee i'lmiyyat jataane ke liYe bohat se muHaawire bh`ee ginwaa diYe! is kee to koyee Z^aroorat hee naheeN th`ee. nafs-e-beHc se is kaa kyaa ta,a'lluq? maiN to waise bh`ee aap kee i'lmiyyat kaa qaa,il hooN!

mazeed aapne farmaayaa keh: "MuHaaviraoN ke Alaawah agar lafz se mafhoom adaa houtaa hei tou usko ham ghalaT nahiN keh sakte." a'rZ^ yeh hai keh maiN ne aap ko :Ghalat^: kab kahaa jo yeh waZ^aaHat kee jaa rahee hai? maiN ne to Saaf Saaf likh`aa hai keh :is kaa yeh mat^lab naheeN hai keh Ghalat^ hai:!! kam se kam woh baat to mere muNh meN nah DaaleN jis kaa maiN gunaah-gaar naheeN hooN!

(2) Tarz-e-wafaa-e-shauq peh aankheN dikhaaye hei
Kyaa jaane mere dushman-e-jaaN ko yeh kyaa houaa

aap ne farmaayaa: "aap ne sirf Tarz-e-wafaay-e-shauq kee tarkeeb kaa tarjuma kiyaa hei jo apni jagah bilkul durust hei. Yeh nahiN souchaa ke mukhaaTibat kis se hei. Jee meri muraad meHboob se hei jou meri wafaa-e-shauq ke usloob per barham hei. Aur doosra miSraA mazeed vaZaaHut ke liye mujh naaqis-ul-ilm kee nazar meiN kaafi se ziyaadah hei."

is ko :elliptical argument: kehte haiN! maiN ne kab kahaa keh she'r kaa mat^lab waaZ^eH naheeN hai? meraa sawaal :t^arz-e-wafaa-e-shauq: par th`aa keh yeh kyaa cheez hai? :shauq kee wafaa: kyaa hotee hai? aap ne hasb-e-ma'mool Ghair-muta,a'lliq baatoN se baat ko uljh`aa kar Taal dene kee koshish kee. lekin jis tarkeeb par sawaal th`aa woh ph`ir bh`ee muHtaaj-e-tashreeH reh gayee!

(3) Sehbaay-e-jaam-e-lab nahiN, chashm-e-karam sahi
Kab se hei tere dar peh musaafir paRaa houaa

aap farmaate haiN keh : "Is sheAr ke baare meiN pahlii baar aapkaa nayaa falsafah paRhne ko mil rahaa hei ke agar doosre miSreA meiN "musaafir" kaa zikr hou tou pahle miSreA meiN uski nisbat se kuch nah kuch vaaZeH baat houni zaroori hei micaal ke Taur per manzil, saaHil, waghairah.

Shaayer khud ko musaafir kehrahaa hei aur pahle miSreA meiN mukhaaTibat mahboob se hei. Kyaa agar koii shakhs yeh kahe "maiN saaHil per tumhaaraa intezaar karrahaa thaa" tou yeh bhee kahaa jaaye ke Toofaan aane waalaa thaa. Mehrbaani farmaakar is baat kee tashreeH keejiye warnah meri rehbari kii bajaaye gumraahi houjaayegi."

yahaaN bh`ee wohee Ghair-muta,a'lliq daleeleN haiN. maiN ne koyee nayaa :falsafah: naheeN pesh kiyaa hai! yeh aap kee Khush-fehmee aur eejaad-e-bandah hai! maiN ne to seedh`aa sawaal kiyaa hai keh :musaafir: kaa pehle miSre' se kyaa ta,a'lluq? kaisaa musaafir, kahaaN kaa safar? aur aap GhuSSeh meN ph`ir bhaTak gaYe. agar bataa dete keh ":yeh safar, aur aisaa musaafir: jis ke liYe pehlaa miSra' yooN ma'nee-Khez hai" to baat Khatm ho jaatee. lekin shaayad aisee ummeed aap se naheeN rakh`nee chaahiye. afsos!

aaKhir meN aap ne likh`aa hai keh :Mafhoom samajhne kee bajaaye alfaaz kee ginti kee gayi hei.: mujh` par aisaa be-tukaa ilzaam lagaanaa aap ko zeb naheeN detaa! apne i'lm aur maqaam kaa hee paas kar liyaa keejiYe!

aap se iltimaas hai keh nafs-e-maZ^moon tak hee apnee guftgoo ko meHdod rakh`aa kareN. furoo,e'e baatoN se kyaa HaaSil? ummeed hai keh baat Khatm kareN ge. qaa,il aap bh`ale hee nah hoN (iKhtilaaf-e-raaYe to huwaa hee kartaa hai) lekin Ghair-Z^arooree t^awaalat se parhez mustaHsin hai!

ziyaadah Hadd-e-adab!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"