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Ghazal: "hisaar-e-zaat se..."
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:23 pm
by irfan abid
aadaab, dosto!
ek haaliya Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur bataaiye ki kaisii lagii.
Ghazal
hisaar-e-zaat se gar ham nikal nahiiN sakte
diye hamaare tafakkur ke jal nahiiN sakte
hai inqilaab-e-zamaanaa kaa Khvaab be.maanii
ham apne aap ko jab tak badal nahiiN sakte
khulii fazaa kii zaruurat jinheN ho vo paude
ghane daraKht ke saaye meN phal nahiiN sakte
unhiiN kii raah meN patthar bichhaaye hai dunyaa
zaraa sii choT jo khaa kar saNbhal nahiiN sakte
Ghubaar-e-raah kaa saa hashr un kaa hotaa hai
jo log chaal zamaane kii chal nahiiN sakte
vo ban ke zahr dil-o-jaaN meN phail jaate haiN
ba.raah-e-chashm jo aaNsuu ubal nahiiN sakte
kayii to dafn hii rahte haiN dil meN, ai :Abid:
ki saare dard to sheroN meN Dhal nahiiN sakte!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Re: Ghazal: "hisaar-e-zaat se..."
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:34 am
by naheedv
irfan abid wrote:aadaab, dosto!
ek haaliya Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur bataaiye ki kaisii lagii.
Ghazal
hisaar-e-zaat se gar ham nikal nahiiN sakte
diye hamaare tafakkur ke jal nahiiN sakte
hai inqilaab-e-zamaanaa kaa Khvaab be.maanii
ham apne aap ko jab tak badal nahiiN sakte
khulii fazaa kii zaruurat jinheN ho vo paude
ghane daraKht ke saaye meN phal nahiiN sakte
unhiiN kii raah meN patthar bichhaaye hai dunyaa
zaraa sii choT jo khaa kar saNbhal nahiiN sakte
Ghubaar-e-raah kaa saa hashr un kaa hotaa hai
jo log chaal zamaane kii chal nahiiN sakte
vo ban ke zahr dil-o-jaaN meN phail jaate haiN
ba.raah-e-chashm jo aaNsuu ubal nahiiN sakte
kayii to dafn hii rahte haiN dil meN, ai :Abid:
ki saare dard to sheroN meN Dhal nahiiN sakte!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
jajaab Irfan saahab,
salaam,
buhat din ke ba'd aap kaa kalaam nazar nawaz huvaa aur hamesha ki tarah aap kee ye taazah ba taazah ghazal bhee buhat umdah rahi. wah, buhat hi haqeeqat pasaNdaanah tafakkur ki micaal paish kee hai aap ne. iss khoobsoorat kaavish par daad paish karti hooN.
aik choTi see baat, jis se aap kaa mutafiq honaa zaroori naheeN hai.
she'r 5 ke pehle miSre meiN "raah kaa saa" thoRaa kaanoN ko chubh rahaa hai. mujhey ye misra' 3,4 baar paRhnaa paRaa sirf samajhne ke liye, ho saktaa hai ye meree naa.ehli ho aur asaatazah ko aisaa na mehsoos ho. khair maiN ne sochaa ke maiN apnaa tajruba bataati chalooN :)
ghazal kaa maqta' buhat khoob hai. waah!
mukhlis
Naheed
Re: Ghazal: "hisaar-e-zaat se..."
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:04 am
by Mahtab Qadr
Irfan Abid sahib salam e masnoon
hisaar-e-zaat se gar ham nikal nahiiN sakte
diye hamaare tafakkur ke jal nahiiN sakte
bahut umda khyal hai
hai inqilaab-e-zamaanaa kaa Khvaab be.maanii
ham apne aap ko jab tak badal nahiiN sakte
bilkul baja farmaya hai, khuda ne aajtak us qaum ki halat nahi badli , naho jisko khyal aap apni halat ke badalne ka.
khulii fazaa kii zaruurat jinheN ho vo paude
ghane daraKht ke saaye meN phal nahiiN sakte
wah anokha khyal hai aur bahut khoob hai.
unhiiN kii raah meN patthar bichhaaye hai dunyaa
zaraa sii choT jo khaa kar saNbhal nahiiN sakte
acha sher hai
Ghubaar-e-raah kaa saa hashr un kaa hotaa hai
jo log chaal zamaane kii chal nahiiN sakte
theek hai
vo ban ke zahr dil-o-jaaN meN phail jaate haiN
ba.raah-e-chashm jo aaNsuu ubal nahiiN sakte
wah wah bahut khoob
kayii to dafn hii rahte haiN dil meN, ai :Abid:
ki saare dard to sheroN meN Dhal nahiiN sakte!
wah bahut umda sher hai aur sahi kaha hai aapne bilkulaisa hi hota hai
shukria
MahtabQadr
Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 7:15 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Irfan SaaHeb: aadaab a'rZ^!
aap kee yeh Ghazal Hasb-e-ma'mool u'mdah hai. kayee Khayaalaat Zehn meN aaYe. sab se oopar daad kaa number th'aa. so HaaZ^ir hai! Ghazal meN aap kaa KhaaS raNg numaayaaN hai. ab ek baat kee ijaazat?
Ghubaar-e-raah kaa saa hashr un kaa hotaa hai
jo log chaal zamaane kii chal nahiiN sakte
is she'r se to yeh caabit huwaa keh jo log zamaaneh ke saath` naheeN chal sakte un kaa Haal Kharaab hotaa hai aur woh SafHah-e-hastee se miT jaate haiN. yeh to a'jeeb see baat hai! Haqeeqat to yeh hai keh vohee log kaam kar gaye jo zamaane se laRe! aap Khud hee socheN ge to ma'loom ho jaaYe gaa keh jo log zamaane se alag chale haiN unhoN ne hee inqilaab bapaa kiYe haiN. ziyaadah Hadd-e-adab!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Bahut khoob waah waah
Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 7:18 am
by Abdullah Nazir
Muhtaram Bhaayi
IRFAN ABID Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazal se bahut luTf andouz houaa. Her sheAr ma'ni aafreeN hei aur waqt-e-Haazir kii Aakkasi karrahaa hei:
Ghazal
hisaar-e-zaat se gar ham nikal nahiiN sakte
diye hamaare tafakkur ke jal nahiiN sakte
hai inqilaab-e-zamaanaa kaa Khvaab be.maanii
ham apne aap ko jab tak badal nahiiN sakte
khulii fazaa kii zaruurat jinheN ho vo paude
ghane daraKht ke saaye meN phal nahiiN sakte
unhiiN kii raah meN patthar bichhaaye hai dunyaa
zaraa sii choT jo khaa kar saNbhal nahiiN sakte
Ghubaar-e-raah kaa saa hashr un kaa hotaa hai
jo log chaal zamaane kii chal nahiiN sakte
vo ban ke zahr dil-o-jaaN meN phail jaate haiN
ba.raah-e-chashm jo aaNsuu ubal nahiiN sakte
kayii to dafn hii rahte haiN dil meN, ai :Abid:
ki saare dard to sheroN meN Dhal nahiiN sakte!)))
Saare ashAaar bahut pasand aaye. Khaksaar kii daad aur mubarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
(((
Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:44 pm
by irfan abid
Naheed sahiba, aadaab!
kaisii haiN aap? bahut dinoN baad niyaaz haasil huaa. aap ne Ghazal pasand farmaayii, to ye mere liye masarrat kaa maqaam huaa. inaayaat kaa shukriya!
paaNchveN sher ke pahle misre kii adaaigii meN aap ko diqqat shaayad is liye pesh aayii ki is meN lafz-e-:kaa: kaa alif gir rahaa hai. aap to jaantii hii haiN ki is kii ijaazat hai, lekin is se ravaanii par farq to baharhaal paRtaa hai. aap kaa Khat dekh kar hii maiN is misre par nazar-e-saanii karne jaa rahaa thaa ki Sarwar Sb kaa Khat bhii nigaah se guzraa. sher kii maujuudah shakl mere taKhayyul ko safaaii se zaahir nahiiN kar sakii. so is sher par mazeed fikr yuuN bhii darkaar hai! :)
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 9:08 am
by Shummu
Wah Wah Wah Irfan sahab...kya kehna...bahut hi umda..har sher apni misaal aap ke...bahut umda ghazal kahi hai aapne hamesha ki tarah..har sher per besaakhta wah nikal raha hai...dheron daad haazir hai is behtareen ghazal pe...ye ash'aar zyaada pasand aaye...
hisaar-e-zaat se gar ham nikal nahiiN sakte
diye hamaare tafakkur ke jal nahiiN sakte
--wah bahut khoob matla!! 8O
khulii fazaa kii zaruurat jinheN ho vo paude
ghane daraKht ke saaye meN phal nahiiN sakte
unhiiN kii raah meN patthar bichhaaye hai dunyaa
zaraa sii choT jo khaa kar saNbhal nahiiN sakte
vo ban ke zahr dil-o-jaaN meN phail jaate haiN
ba.raah-e-chashm jo aaNsuu ubal nahiiN sakte
ye 3 ash'aar bhi bahut khoob lage..!
kayii to dafn hii rahte haiN dil meN, ai :Abid:
ki saare dard to sheroN meN Dhal nahiiN sakte!
Wah..maqta sab se zyaada pasand aaya!!! :)
Shumaila
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 4:24 am
by Hashmat Usmani
salaam 'Abid saaHib,
aapkii Ghazal nazar nawaaz huii magar zara taaKhir se, kiuNki:
huii taaKhiir to kuchh baa'is-e-taaKhiir bhii thaa
ham to aate the magar koii 'onaaN_geer bhii thaa
ab yeh kiuN bataauuN ki Khaar-e-seHat ne daaman pakaR liyaa thaa 
Khair, aapkii Ghazal hamesha kii taraH fikr se bhar-poor hai. aapne kaise kaise aur umda umda Khayaal murattab kiye haiN. aapkii parvaaz-e-taKhaiyul kii rasaaii na jaane kujaa hotii hai...kahiiN bahot oopar, aasmaanoN ke paar. masha Allah!
har ehe'r pasand aayaa ab kiskii nishaan_dehii karuuN, kuchh samajh meN nahiN aataa, is liye sabhii ash'aar ko chuntaa huuN.
Allah kare zor e qalam aur ziyaada!
faqat Khaak_nashiiN,
Hashmat
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:22 am
by irfan abid
mukarramee Mahtab Sb, aadaab arz hai!
aap ne jis tafseel se is adnaa kaavish par nigaah-e-karam farmaayii aur ise apnii giraaN.qadr daad se navaazaa, vo mere liye behad Khushii kaa baais hai. inaayat kaa bahut bahut shukriya!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:25 am
by irfan abid
muhtaram Sarwar Sb, aadaab!
aap kii daad se to hameshaa hii Khushii hotii hai, so is baar bhii huii. bahut bahut shukriya!
sher #5 par aap ke taassuraat paRh kar kayii baateN zahn meN aayiiN. pahle sochaa ki muKhtasar javaab duuN, lekin phir kuchh tafseel zaruurii mahsuus huii. mulaahiza farmaaiye.
aap ke savaal kaa ek javaab to ye hai ki zamaane ke Khilaaf chalne vaale ziyaada.tar afraad be.naam-o-nishaaN miTte haiN. aap ne jin ashKhaas kaa zikr kiyaa hai, un kii taadaad nisbatan bahut kam hai. lihaaza aap kaa aitaraaz durust to hai, lekin is kii haisiyyat sirf vaaqiyah ke ek pahluu jitnii hai, aur is se sher kii munaasibat par farq nahiiN paRtaa.
duusraa javaab ye hai ki jin ash.aar meN shaair qaarii ko kisii naa.munaasib kaam yaa raaste kii jaanib maail kartaa nazar aaye, vo dar-asl shaair kii shikast-o-maayuusii (frustration) kaa aaina hote haiN, us kii himaayat kaa izhaar nahiiN. talaash karne par aise DheroN ash.aar mil jaayeNge. filhaal Nida Fazli kaa ek sher dekhiye:
yahaaN kisii ko koii raastaa nahiiN detaa
mujhe giraa ke agar tum saNbhal sako to chalo
zaahir hai ki koii hoshmand insaan kisii ko Khud ko giraane kii talqeen nahiiN karegaa. dar-haqeeqat ye us nafsaa-nafsii kaa shikva hai jo aaj kii dunyaa meN chaaroN taraf numaayaaN hai.
ab is tafseel ke baad arz kartaa huuN ki mazkuurah baalaa dalaail meN se maiN koii bhii apne difaa.a meN pesh nahiiN karuuNgaa kyoNki mere zahn meN zaraa muKhtalif Khayaal thaa, aur vo ye hai ki jo log zamaane ke saath nahiiN chalte (yaa nahiiN badalte), vo Ghubaar-e-raah kii tarah peechhe paRe rah jaate haiN ( :kaarvaaN guzar gayaa, Ghubaar dekhte rahe: kii tarah). meraa qaul siyaasii, mazhabii yaa samaajii nahiiN, Khaalisatan ma.aashii nauiyat kaa hai, lihaaza aap kaa aitaraaz is par laaguu nahiiN hotaa. lekin aap ke aur deegar ahbaab ke Khutuut se ye bhii zaahir hai ki maiN apnaa mauqif safaaii se bayaan nahiiN kar sakaa.
yahaaN kisii naqqaad kaa ye qaul yaad aa rahaa hai ki jis qadar mafaaheem nikleN, sher utnaa hii achchhaa tasleem kiyaa jaayegaa. lekin meraa maannaa hai ki in mafaaheem meN se kam.az.kam ek shaair kaa iraadii (intended) mafhuum bhii honaa chaahiye, varna sher kaam.yaab nahiiN, Khvaah vo chachaa Ghalib hii kaa kyoN na ho! :) qissa muKhtasar ye ki maiN is sher ko bahtar banaane kii koshish karuuNgaa.
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 7:08 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarramee Irfan SaaHeb:aadaab!
aap kaa Khat^ paRh kar bohat lut^f aayaa. aap ne do jawaab likh`e lekin dar-aSl un meN se koyee ek bh`ee SaHeeH jawaab naheeN th`aa! ph`ir yeh ma'loom huwaa keh she'r kaa it^laaq aaj kal ke ma,a'ashee manz^ar-naameh par maqSood hai aur aap is par aur kaam kareN ge. shukriyah!
is qism ke sawaal-o-jawaab se jahaaN aur cheezeN HaaSil hotee haiN waheeN nayee soch ke dar bh`ee kh`ulte haiN. ab yehee dekh`iYe ke aap ke donoN jawaab ham ko da'vat-e-fikr de rahe haiN!
aap kee mehrbaaniyoN ke liYe dil se mamnoon hooN!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 7:58 pm
by irfan abid
muhtaram Nazir Sb, aadaab!
aap jaise ustaad-e-fan kii daad kisii ke liye bhii faKhr-o-masarrat kaa baais hai, phir mujh nau.mashq ke liye kyoN na ho! inaayat ke liye behad mamnuun huuN. bahut bahut shukriya!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 8:01 pm
by irfan abid
Shumaila sahiba, aadaab arz hai!
aap ne jis qadar faraaKh.dilii se is adnaa koshish ko navaazaa hai, vo aap hii kaa Khaassa hai. maiN is navaazish ke liye behad ahsaan.mand huuN. meraa pur.Khuluus shukriya qubuul keejiye!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 11:37 am
by najma
janab irfan abid sahib
assalam-o-alaikum
aapkii ye ghazal pasand aaee, bohat khoob fikr ki haamil hay.
daad hazir hay
khair andesh
najma
:)
.