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Meri tarahee Gazal (Guzarish # 24)
Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 5:38 pm
by jawaid badauni
Dosto! Salam qubool kijiye
Ek bohat mAmuli Gazal pesh.e Khidmat hai. Aajkal zahn kuch qaabu meN nahiN. MaSroofiyaat bhi kuch ziyadah haiN.
Buzurg shayar moHtaram Sarwar Raz SaHab se mera iltemaas hai keh sher # 3 se sher # 6 tak daguzar farmayeN.
Khair andesh
Jawaid Badauni
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Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane"
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN haiN subko yeh Khazaane
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
----------------------------------------------------------
Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi.
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:14 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat, 
Guzarish 24 ke miSreA per aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane" ;/u[
KhoobSoorat gireh ke saath maTlah bahut dilkash hei. Waah waah.
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN subko yeh Khazaane
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
Ghaliban pahle miSreA "meri muHabbat kaa kagan keh rahe heiN aap. Bahut khoob, waah waah.
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
Waah waah, kyaa kehne.
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
ShaanaoN kaa gaiso'awaoN ko sanwaarnaa qaabil-e-ghaur baat hei.
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
Waah waah, bahut khoob.
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
Waah Waah, kyaa kehne. Achchaa maqTaA hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Re: Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi.
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 6:04 am
by jawaid badauni
WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Guzarish 24 ke miSreA per aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
MULAAHIZAAT:
Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane" ;/u[
KhoobSoorat gireh ke saath maTlah bahut dilkash hei. Waah waah.
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN subko yeh Khazaane
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
Ghaliban pahle miSreA "meri muHabbat kaa kagan keh rahe heiN aap. Bahut khoob, waah waah.
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
Waah waah, kyaa kehne.
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
ShaanaoN kaa gaiso'awaoN ko sanwaarnaa qaabil-e-ghaur baat hei.
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
Achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah.
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
Waah waah, bahut khoob.
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
Waah Waah, kyaa kehne. Achchaa maqTaA hei.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Mohtarmee Abdullah Nazir SaaHab
Aadaab
Gazal per aapki aara aur graNqadr tabsarey ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN.
PaaNchveN sher ke Hawaley se Arz kar dooN keh shanah Urdu meN KANGHEE ko kahte haiN aur is e'tbaar se mera sher shayad durust hai. Is zimn meN ab aap kya kahte haiN zaroor baaatiyega takeh main sher men zaroori tabdeeli kar sakooN..
MuKhlis
Jawaid
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:35 am
by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
[align=center]moHtaram Janab Jawaid Badauni SaHib aadaab!
Guzarish 24 ke liYe aap ne baRee khubSurat aor dil fareb Ghazal pesh kee hai. agarcheh aap ne jaldee meN kahee hai lekin kamaal Herat hai keh Ghazal kee khubSuratee aor kashish meN rakhnah nah paRne diYa aor mere qareeN Yahee fankaree aor maHarat hai.
mujh~e Ghazal ke sabh~ee she'er pasand aaeY haiN meree dilee dad aor mubarak bad qubool farmaeeN!
mujh~e ummeed hai keh aap hameshah kee t^araH meHfil ko aabaad rakh~ne meN apnee fit^ree she'eree SalaHiYatooN ka bh~arpoor iz^haar farmate huwe bazm meN tashreef late raheeN geY.
Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane"
bohot khoob! waah!! achch~ee girah lagaee hai!
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN haiN subko yeh Khazaane
bohot achch~a maZ^moon hai! waah! waah!
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
baRa gehra aor zamanah fehmee ka maZ^moon hai! kiYa kehne!
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
kiYa kehne!!
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
bohot khoob!! aap kee waZ^aHat ne uljh~an Hal kar dee hai!!
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
bohot khoob!! aap ne apna maqSad baRe u'mdah perae,Y meN ada kiYa hai waah!!
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
kiYa kehne!! waah!! waah!! Jawaid bh~aee bohot khoob!!
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
kiYa kehne!! baRa dilkash maZ^moon hai!! wahh!! waah!!
mukarrar dad qubool kijiYe!
ijazut chahoon ga.
Wassalam
Muz^affar[/align]
ghazal kaa paanchwaan sheAr bilkul durust hei
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:43 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat, 
Aapkaa kehnaa bilkul durust hei ke aapkaa paanchwaaN sheAr her liHaaz se SaHeeH hei kiunkeh mushT aur kanghi ki TaraH shaanah bhee urdu meiN mustaAmal hei. Yehi baat mere zehn meiN nah aayi thee jiski vajh se maiN ne likhkhaa thaa ke sheAr qaabil-e-ghaur hei.
Aapki vaZaaHut se meri maAloomaat meiN iZaafah houaa jiske liye aapkaa beHad shukrguzaar hooN.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Re: ghazal kaa paanchwaan sheAr bilkul durust hei
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 7:59 pm
by jawaid badauni
WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,
PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,
Aapkaa kehnaa bilkul durust hei ke aapkaa paanchwaaN sheAr her liHaaz se SaHeeH hei kiunkeh mushT aur kanghi ki TaraH shaanah bhee urdu meiN mustaAmal hei. Yehi baat mere zehn meiN nah aayi thee jiski vajh se maiN ne likhkhaa thaa ke sheAr qaabil-e-ghaur hei.
Aapki vaZaaHut se meri maAloomaat meiN iZaafah houaa jiske liye aapkaa beHad shukrguzaar hooN.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Janab Abdulla Nazir SaHab
Aadab
Yeh aap ka baRappan hai warna mujh jaisa mubtadee aur tifl.e maktab bhala aap ke ilm meN kya izafah karega. Haqeeqat yeh hai keh yeh lafz kandhey ke mAnaa meN ziyadah Kanghee ke mAAna meN kum hi istaimal hota hai. Mere ek buzurg ne ek jagah istaimal kiya tha mera bhi dil tha kabhi istaimal karooN.
Ummid hai aaindah bhi aap meree rahnumaai farmate raheNge.
MUkhliS
Jawaid
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 8:06 pm
by jawaid badauni
sara_j wrote:Mohtaram Sarwar sahib ka tabsira doosri mehfil mein aur Nazir sahib ka yehan dekh ker main kashmakash mein par gayi hoon ke kya likhun?
khair mujhe tou hamesha se hi aapka kalaam pasand aya hai aur is baar bhi go ke mujhe maloom hai ke aap kin halaat mein ye jaldbaaz ghazal likhe hain. dil-i-daad qubool keejiye.
SaraH SaHibah
Aadab o tasleemaat
Yeh Gazal maiN ne kisee jaldbaazi meN nahiN kahi hai. HaaN yeh zaroor hai keh maiN tarahee GazaloN per ziyadah waqt surf nahiN karta amuman nazr.e Caani ke baghair hi bhej deta hooN. Yeh meri aadat bun chuki hai.
JahaN tak dou buzurgoN ke taqreeban mutazaaad tabsaroN ka sawaal hai main donoN se bohat Khoosh hota hooN. Abdulla Nazir SaHab ki tAreef meN unka Khuloos shamil rahata hai jis se mujhe apne kalam per sanad bhi mil jaati hai aur meri himmat afazaaai bhi hoti hai.
JahaN tak Sarwar SaHab ke tanqeedee tabsarey ka sawal hai maiN oos se bhi kum Khoosh nahiN hota. MaiN ne Khood unse kah rakhkha hai keh baraye karam meri KhamiyaN mujhe bataya kijiye. Iss se bohat kuch seekhne ko bhi milta hai aur kabhi kabhi ek dilchasp KhaliS adabee baHc ka mauqa bhi HaSil hota hai.
Apko mera kalam pasaNd aata hai yeh mere liye bohat Khooshi ki baat hai. Shukriya
MuKhliS
Jawiad
Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:09 pm
by jawaid badauni
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:[align=center]moHtaram Janab Jawaid Badauni SaHib aadaab!
Guzarish 24 ke liYe aap ne baRee khubSurat aor dil fareb Ghazal pesh kee hai. agarcheh aap ne jaldee meN kahee hai lekin kamaal Herat hai keh Ghazal kee khubSuratee aor kashish meN rakhnah nah paRne diYa aor mere qareeN Yahee fankaree aor maHarat hai.
mujh~e Ghazal ke sabh~ee she'er pasand aaeY haiN meree dilee dad aor mubarak bad qubool farmaeeN!
mujh~e ummeed hai keh aap hameshah kee t^araH meHfil ko aabaad rakh~ne meN apnee fit^ree she'eree SalaHiYatooN ka bh~arpoor iz^haar farmate huwe bazm meN tashreef late raheeN geY.
Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane"
bohot khoob! waah!! achch~ee girah lagaee hai!
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN haiN subko yeh Khazaane
bohot achch~a maZ^moon hai! waah! waah!
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
baRa gehra aor zamanah fehmee ka maZ^moon hai! kiYa kehne!
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
kiYa kehne!!
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
bohot khoob!! aap kee waZ^aHat ne uljh~an Hal kar dee hai!!
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
bohot khoob!! aap ne apna maqSad baRe u'mdah perae,Y meN ada kiYa hai waah!!
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
kiYa kehne!! waah!! waah!! Jawaid bh~aee bohot khoob!!
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
kiYa kehne!! baRa dilkash maZ^moon hai!! wahh!! waah!!
mukarrar dad qubool kijiYe!
ijazut chahoon ga.
Wassalam
Muz^affar[/align]
Azeezi Mozaffar SaaHab,
Aadaab
Bohat khooshee hoti hai aapka tafCeeli aur jamey tabsarah paRhker. Gazal ki pazeeraai himmat afzaaii ka sabab banee. Behund amamnoon hooN.
MaiN ne aap ki Gazal bhi paRh lii hai insha Allah jald hi apni nacheez aara likh ker bhejooNga.
Khoosh raheN!
MuKhliS
Jawaid
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:56 am
by hassan_bashir
mohtaram Jawaid saaHib: Aadab!
janaab hamesha kee tarah aap kee yeh Ghazal bhii usii raftaar se khoob rahi. 
tamaam hii ash'aar saadah lafzoN meiN aChhe kahe gaye haiN aur girah bhii khoob lagaaii hai.
lehaaza miree jaanib se dilee daad aur mubaarak-baad qubool keejiYe. :rose
Hassan
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:48 pm
by jawaid badauni
hassan_bashir wrote:mohtaram Jawaid saaHib: Aadab!
janaab hamesha kee tarah aap kee yeh Ghazal bhii usii raftaar se khoob rahi. tamaam hii ash'aar saadah lafzoN meiN aChhe kahe gaye haiN aur girah bhii khoob lagaaii hai.
lehaaza miree jaanib se dilee daad aur mubaarak-baad qubool keejiYe. :rose
Hassan
Azeezi Hasan SaaHab,
Aadaab
Aapki purKhuloos daad ke liye aapka behud mamnoon hooN.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 9:30 am
by muhammad_19k
Jawed Sb,
yaqeenun aap ki ghazal ke tamam hi shair bohat achhee haiN. iss leeaye har taraf wah wah ki pukaar sunai day rahi hai. mere wah wah toa shaid "Naqar khane meiN tooti ki awaz" se ziada na ho gi.
Mashallah bohat khoobsoorat ghazal hai. Oar ye shair batoar khaas, agar aap ijaazat daiN to apne naam kartaa Hoon. -:)
"Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne"
Allah kare zor e kalam oar ziadaa,
aap ka mukhlis,
muhammad Khawar.
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 4:29 pm
by jawaid badauni
muhammad_19k wrote:Jawed Sb,
yaqeenun aap ki ghazal ke tamam hi shair bohat achhee haiN. iss leeaye har taraf wah wah ki pukaar sunai day rahi hai. mere wah wah toa shaid "Naqar khane meiN tooti ki awaz" se ziada na ho gi.
Mashallah bohat khoobsoorat ghazal hai. Oar ye shair batoar khaas, agar aap ijaazat daiN to apne naam kartaa Hoon. -:)
"Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne"
Allah kare zor e kalam oar ziadaa,
aap ka mukhlis,
muhammad Khawar.
Azeezi Muhammad Khawar Sb,
Tasleemaat
Gazal ki pazeraayee ke liye behud mamnoon hooN.
Aapko bhala kaun kumtar samajhne laga, toba toba. Iss qism ke nafsiyaatee eHsasaat se door rahiye aur sher kahte rahiye. Insha Allah aap ko mujh se bhee ziyadah daad milege.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:00 pm
by muhammad_19k
Sir
aap ki izzat hosla afazai ka shukriya.
wasalam,
Muhammad Khawar.
Re: Meri tarahee Gazal (Guzarish # 24)
Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:42 pm
by haamidbaaqri
jawaid badauni wrote:Dosto! Salam qubool kijiye
Ek bohat mAmuli Gazal pesh.e Khidmat hai. Aajkal zahn kuch qaabu meN nahiN. MaSroofiyaat bhi kuch ziyadah haiN.
Buzurg shayar moHtaram Sarwar Raz SaHab se mera iltemaas hai keh sher # 3 se sher # 6 tak daguzar farmayeN.
Khair andesh
Jawaid Badauni
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chalo ho jaayeN phir se hum divaane
"Tou shayad lauT aayeN din puraane"
Gam-e janaN mataay-e fikr-e dauraaN
kahaN milte haiN haiN subko yeh Khazaane
MoHabbat ka kafan kahta hai mere
Siyasat ne bune haiN taane baane
Chaman ujRa bataata hai yahaN per
Kabhi aabaad thEy kuch aashyane
Jo suljhaadeN Gam-e dauraaN ke gesoo
KahaN se dhooNdh kar laayeN woh shaane
DikheNgee kumsinoN ke ruKh peh KhooshiyaaN
Madaaree aa gaya bunder nachaane
Kahoo unse mujhe kumtar nah samjheN
Keh mujhko bhee banaaya hai Khuda ne
MiyaN :Jawaid: yeh teer-e nazar haiN
KhaTaa karte nahiN apne nishaane
----------------------------------------------------------
biradaram jaiwaid saahib
assalaam o alaikum
kaisay hai.n aap?
ustaadanah kalaam
bahut khoobsoorat ghazal
qayaamat kee rawaangee.
"kaho unsay mujhay kamtar nah samjhe.n
keh mujhko bhi banaaya hai khuda nay"
kya baat hai.
hame.n yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayee.
hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n aapki is munfarid takhleeq per
allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah
aapka apna
haamidbaaqroi