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Re: Ab zindagi mein koi masarrat nahi rahi...Ghazal
Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:14 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
sara_j wrote:Salaam,
aek ghazal aap sab ki nazar.
Ghazal:
1. itne badal gaye ho, muHabbat nahi rahi
ab zindagi meiN koii musarrat nahiN rahi.
2. thukra ke bedili se mujhe tum jo chal diye
tajdeed-e-rabT o ZabT kee Soorat nahiN rahi
3. darya-e-ashk mein sabhi armaan behgaye
dil meiN nicaar karne ko daulat nahi rahi
4. andaaz-e-berukhi ne tire kardiyaa tabaah
khud meri apne dil pe hukumat nahi rahi
5. tasviir teri hei miri nazraoN se door kiyuN
kyaa tujh meiN pahli see wo muravvat nahiN rahi
6. tumko na paa sake ye rahega malaal, per
hamko kabhi kisi se shikaayat nahiN rahi
7. Saara jabeeN kisi kee jo her dam hei pur-shikan
mujhko bhee muskuraane kee Aadat nahiN rahi
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a'zeezah Sara SaaHebah: aadaab!
aap kee Ghazal yahaaN aur UrduDuniya meN naz^ar aayee. Saaf suth`ree Ghazal hai aur wazn-o-beHr meN durust! maZ^aameen bh`ee saadah aur saamne ke haiN aur saadagee-e-bayaan kee wajh se paRhne meN achh`e haiN. majmoo,e'e t^aur se aap kee kaawish kaamyaab hai. ummeed hai keh yeh taraqqee isee t^araH jaaree rahe gee. daad qubool keejiye.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:43 pm
by Star Mind
Sara jabeen SaaHiba, aadaab !
aap ki Ghazal bohut pasand aaii , aur sach to yeh hai k itnii pasand aaii k , is zameen meiN maiN ne bhii kuchh asha'aar keh Daale haiN , Ghazal mukammal hote hii paish karooNga ! fil-Haal aap maqt^a' sun lejiye !
a'rz kiyaa hai k:
roodaad-e-zindagii hai bahut muKhtaSar Zia
laikin use sunaane ki muhlat naheeN rahii 
/b]
meri jaanib se DheroN daad qubool ho !
shukriya
Zia Baloch
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:31 pm
by Anmol
[quote author=anmol link=topic=3741.msg36281#msg36281 date=1165415090]
[quote author=Sara_j link=topic=3741.msg36218#msg36218 date=1165295171]
Salaam,
aek ghazal aap sab ki nazar.
Aray waah,, ghazal to meri farmaayish thi, phir sab ki nazr kaise kar di. Dekho ji ye cheating na karo, itni pyaari ghazal tum mere siwaa kisi ke naam nahiiN kar sakteeN. :D
Ghazal:
1. itne badal gaye ho, muHabbat nahi rahi
ab zindagi meiN koii musarrat nahiN rahi
Dekha Saara...kis qadar jald badal jaate haiN insaaN, jaanaaN. Matla achchha hai, daad qubool karo.
Waise mere Khayaal meiN "masarrat" hota hai. Confirm kar lena.
2. thukra ke bedili se mujhe tum jo chal diye
tajdeed-e-rabT o ZabT kee Soorat nahiN rahi
Ab ke tajdeed-e-wafa ka nahiiN imkaaN, jaanaaN
Yaad kya tujh ko dilaayeN tiraa paimaaN, jaanaaN
Ye she'r bhi Khoob hai.
3. darya-e-ashk mein sabhi armaan behgaye
dil meiN nicaar karne ko daulat nahi rahi
Dil ke armaaN aansu'oN meiN beh gaye
Ham wafaa kar ke bhi tanhaa reh gaye
5. tasviir teri hei miri nazraoN se door kiyuN
kyaa tujh meiN pahli see wo muravvat nahiN rahi
Waise mujhe is she'r ko paRhte hi kuchh yuuN soojha,
Tasveer meri hai tiri nazroN se door kyooN
kya tujh ko mujh se pehli si chaahat nahiiN rahi
asl meiN mujhe tumhaare dono miSroN ke aapas ka rabt samajhne meiN dushwaari ho rahi hai. :???:
6. tumko na paa sake ye rahega malaal, per
hamko kabhi kisi se shikaayat nahiN rahi
She'r achchha laga, lekin end meiN 'per' kuchh KhaTak rahaa hai, aur haaN yooN doosre miSre meiN 'warna' laga dia jaaye to?
how about,
Tum ko na paa sake, yehi ik malaal hai
warna kabhi kisi se shikaayat nahiiN rahi
??
7. Saara jabeeN kisi kee jo her dam hei pur-shikan
mujhko bhee muskuraane kee Aadat nahiN rahi
:D Ye she'r paRhte hue maiN samjhi k tum apna poora naam estemaal kar rahi ho, phir Khair samajh aa gaya k tum kisi aur ki jabeen ki baat kar rahi ho. :) (saara ke baad ! ya , laga do na ) aray bhai doosroN ki parwaah choR do, tum muskuraati raho, hamesha. :)
Waise, pehle miSre meiN 'jo' kuchh set nahiiN lag raha, aik tajveez zehen meiN aati hai,
Saara! jabeen un ki hai har waqt pur'shikan
Kya Khayaal hai?
Maqta bhi achchha hai Saara jabeen. :D Ye ghazal bahut Khoob rahi, meri jaanib se daad ke DheroN phool tumhaare liye... rose: rose: rose: rose: rose: rose: rose: rose: rose:
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:34 am
by Hashmat Usmani
salaam Saara,
tumhaarii Ghazal parhii aur bahot pasand aayii...saada alfaaz meN dil ko chhoo lene waale aHsaasaat aur jazbaat kaa bayaan beHad dil ko bhaayaa. aapkaa andaaz bhalaa lagaa. har she'r umda o aalaa haiN. shukria share karne ke liye.
yeh ash'aat bahot pasand aaye:
1. itne badal gaye ho, muHabbat nahi rahi
ab zindagi meiN koii musarrat nahiN rahi.
2. thukra ke bedili se mujhe tum jo chal diye
tajdeed-e-rabT o ZabT kee Soorat nahiN rahi
3. darya-e-ashk mein sabhi armaan behgaye
dil meiN nicaar karne ko daulat nahi rahi
4. andaaz-e-berukhi ne tire kardiyaa tabaah
khud meri apne dil pe hukumat nahi rahi
5. tasviir teri hei miri nazraoN se door kiyuN
kyaa tujh meiN pahli see wo muravvat nahiN rahi
6. tumko na paa sake ye rahega malaal, per
hamko kabhi kisi se shikaayat nahiN rahi
7. Saara jabeeN kisi kee jo her dam hei pur-shikan
mujhko bhee muskuraane kee Aadat nahiN rahi
ba_Khuda, mujhe saare hii ash'aar pasand aaye...kisii ek ko tarjeeH denaa naa insaafii hogii.
Hashmat
Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:11 pm
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Darya-e-ashk mein sabhi armaan behgaye
Dil meiN nicaar karne ko daulat nahi rahi !!
ye bahut galat baat hai..... main to "sahi-salamat" hoon aur aap keh rahi hain "armaan bah gaye"....!! (joking) Behad pyara sher hai... agar aap ye sher... sirf yahi ek sher mujhe de dein to main apni "tamaam ghazlein" aap ko dene to tayyar hoon...... !! Arrey waah... ye to shairi nahin hoyi... tijarat ho gayi...!!
Puri Ghazal Masha-Allah.... sar se le kar paaon tak.... behad khoobsoorat hai. Daad Qubool Karein.
armaan
Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:55 pm
by sbashwar
Saara sahiba, aapki yeh ghazal dil ko choli. Andaaz-e-bayaan bohat pasand ayaa. Har sheir qabil-e-daad hai.
Mubarakbaad aur daad qubool kijiye.
Shukria
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:20 pm
by tahira Masood
mashallah Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaadah