[align=center]
yaran-e-meHfil aadaab!

aap dostooN kee khidmat meN yeh tazah Ghazal baGharaZ^-e-mulaHiZ^aat pesh kar raha hooN. dekh~ kar mashkoor hooN.

( beHr-e-hazaj musaddas meHzoof)
mufaa'ee'lun.....mufaa'ee'lun...fa'oo'lun
1222..1222...122

1,

i,laaj-e-talkhee-e-hijraaN naheeN hai

sharab-e-chashm-e-jaan-e-jaaN naheeN hai,


2,

maiN woh qiSSah tumheeN kaese sunaooN?

keh jis rudaad ka u'nwaaN naheeN hai,


3,

siwaa-e-ik mire khun-e-jigar ke

jahaaN meN kuch~ bh~ee to arzaaN naheeN hai,


4,

faqat^ ik maiN hooN aor meree fuGhaaN hai

yahaaN koee pas-e-zindaaN naheeN hai,


5,

Haqiqt tum bh~ee ab tasleem kar lo

hamare waSl ka imkaaN naheeN hai,


6,

koee aesa naz^ar aata naheeN jao

raheen-e-gardish-e-daoraaN naheeN hai,


7,

Muz^affar tere jaesa dasht-e-Gham meN

koee bh~ee khaar bah damaaN naheeN hai,


Muz^affar AHmad Muz^affar
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Salam Muzaffar Sb,

aik khoobsoorat koshish par Mubarikbaad qabool keejiaye. tamaam hi shaAer achhay haiN. mujhe sub se ziadaa ye walaa shaAer pasanda aayaa,

"Haqiqt tum bh~ee yeh tasleem kar lo
hamare waSl ka imkaaN naheeN hai,"


bohat khoobsoorat sheAer hai. aor bohat ziadaa be saakhtigi hai. haalaaN ke ye kabhi bhi munasib naheen ke kissi bhi shakhs ke mozooA sheAer meiN alfaaz ki tabdeeli tajweez ki ja-aye. laikin phir bhi sirf ikhlaaS meiN ye gunah karne jaa rahaa hooN. agar pehle misRa meiN "yeh" ko ub se tabdeel kar diyaa ja-aye to nayee shakal aap ko kaisi lage gi?

baaqi ghazal meiN rehaneen e girdish e doraaN, dasht e gham oar pas e zindaaN jaise taraakeeb ghazal ko chaand char laga raheeN haiN. Alfaaz ke chanao meiN aap ka zouq bohat khoobsoorat hai.

Allah kare zor e qalam oar ziadaa,

regards,
Muhammad Khawar.

"Haqiqt tum bh~ee ubb tasleem kar lo
hamare waSl ka imkaaN naheeN hai"

Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:[align=center]
yaran-e-meHfil aadaab!

aap dostooN kee khidmat meN yeh tazah Ghazal baGharaZ^-e-mulaHiZ^aat pesh kar raha hooN. dekh~ kar mashkoor hooN.

( beHr-e-hazaj musaddas meHzoof)
mufaa'ee'lun.....mufaa'ee'lun...fa'oo'lun
1222..1222...122

1,

i,laaj-e-talkhee-e-hijraaN naheeN hai

sharab-e-chashm-e-jaan-e-jaaN naheeN hai,


2,

maiN woh qiSSah tumheeN kaese sunaooN?

keh jis rudaad ka u'nwaaN naheeN hai,


3,

siwaa-e-ik mire khun-e-jigar ke

jahaaN meN kuch~ bh~ee to arzaaN naheeN hai,


4,

faqat^ ik maiN hooN aor meree fuGhaaN hai

yahaaN koee pas-e-zindaaN naheeN hai,


5,

Haqiqt tum bh~ee ab tasleem kar lo

hamare waSl ka imkaaN naheeN hai,


6,

koee aesa naz^ar aata naheeN jao

raheen-e-gardish-e-daoraaN naheeN hai,


7,

Muz^affar tere jaesa dasht-e-Gham meN

koee bh~ee khaar bah damaaN naheeN hai,


Muz^affar AHmad Muz^affar
[/color] [/color][/align]

muzaffar bhai

hame.n aapki yeh tahreer pasand aayee.

lehaza hamaari dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaaye.n.

jazakallah

mukhlis
haamidbaaqri

Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:[align=center]
yaran-e-meHfil aadaab!

aap dostooN kee khidmat meN yeh tazah Ghazal baGharaZ^-e-mulaHiZ^aat pesh kar raha hooN. dekh~ kar mashkoor hooN.

( beHr-e-hazaj musaddas meHzoof)
mufaa'ee'lun.....mufaa'ee'lun...fa'oo'lun
1222..1222...122

1,

i,laaj-e-talkhee-e-hijraaN naheeN hai

sharab-e-chashm-e-jaan-e-jaaN naheeN hai,


2,

maiN woh qiSSah tumheeN kaese sunaooN?

keh jis rudaad ka u'nwaaN naheeN hai,


3,

siwaa-e-ik mire khun-e-jigar ke

jahaaN meN kuch~ bh~ee to arzaaN naheeN hai,


4,

faqat^ ik maiN hooN aor meree fuGhaaN hai

yahaaN koee pas-e-zindaaN naheeN hai,


5,

Haqiqt tum bh~ee ab tasleem kar lo

hamare waSl ka imkaaN naheeN hai,


6,

koee aesa naz^ar aata naheeN jao

raheen-e-gardish-e-daoraaN naheeN hai,


7,

Muz^affar tere jaesa dasht-e-Gham meN

koee bh~ee khaar bah damaaN naheeN hai,


Muz^affar AHmad Muz^affar
[/color] [/color][/align]

muHtaramee Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal naz^ar-nawaaz huyee. aap kee shaa,i'raanah pesh-raft bohat achhee hai. ab wazn kee woh KhaamiyaaN naz^ar naheeN aateeN jo pehle gaahe gaahe dikhaayee de jaatee theeN. yeh aap kee meHnat kaa nateejah hai.

do ek baateN muKhtaSara" likh rahaa hooN.dekhne meN to harj naheeN hai?
------------------------------
1,
i,laaj-e-talkhee-e-hijraaN naheeN hai
sharab-e-chashm-e-jananaaN naheeN hai,

mat^la' achhaa hai. yeh Z^aroor kahooN gaa keh :sharaab-e-chashm-e-jaanaanaaN: kee tarkeeb bhalee naheeN lagee. lekin yeh apnee apnee pasand hai! maiN :sharaab-e-chashm: kee jagah :nigaah-e-lut^f: kehtaa!
-------------------------
2,
maiN woh qiSSah tumheeN kaese sunaooN?
keh jis rudaad ka u'nwaaN naheeN hai,

achhaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe. agar bunat ko chust karnaa chaaheN to yooN bhee keh sakte haiN:

tumheN woh qiSSah-e-Gham kyaa sunaaYeN/
keh jis---------------
------------------------
3,
siwaa-e-ik mire khun-e-jigar ke
jahaaN meN kuch~ bh~ee to arzaaN naheeN hai,

Khoob! :kuchh bhee to: kee jagah :aur kuchh: keh kar dekh leN?
---------------------
4,
faqat^ ik maiN hooN aor meree fuGhaaN hai
yahaaN koee pas-e-zindaaN naheeN hai,

bohat Khoob. :yahaaN koyee: kee jagah agar :koyee hamdam: kaheN to kaisaa rahe gaa?
---------------------------
5,
koee aesa naz^ar aata naheeN jao
raheen-e-gardish-e-daoraaN naheeN hai,

:raheen: kee jagah :shikaar: behtar ho gaa kyoN.k :raheen: ke ma'nee meN woh raNg shaamil naheeN hai jo aap ke she'r kaa hai. yooN aap behtar jaante haiN.
-------------------------------
6,
Muz^affar tere jaesa dasht-e-Gham meN
koee bh~ee khaar bah damaaN naheeN hai,

SaHeeH tarkeeb hai :Khaar-ba-daamaaN: nah keh :Khaar-baa-daamaaN:! aap ne :Khaar-bah-daamaaN: likhaa hai jo adaa naheeN ho rahaa hai. so naz^ar-e-caanee Z^arooree huyee. agar kaheeN aap ne aisaa dekhaa hai to bataa deN taa.k sanad kaa i'lm ho jaaYe.
---------------------------
ummeed hai keh is Khat^ se ek aur andaaz-e-fikr saamne aa gayaa ho gaa.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

moHtaram Sarwar A'alam R Sarwar SaHib aadaab!

aap kee i'nayatooN aor muHabbatooN ka zikr aHat^ah-e-teHreer meN naheeN laya ja sakta. aap ne guzashtah DeDh~ baras se jis meHnat-e-shaqah ka cuboot urdu kee maHafil meN diya hai. aor jis lagan aor dard se nae likh~ne walooN kee himmat afzaee aor iSlaH-o-mashwarah ka silsilah shurooa' kar rakh~a hai. yaqina" apnee micaal aap hai. aor ise yaad rakh~a jae ga.

Quote
aap kee Ghazal naz^ar-nawaaz huyee. aap kee shaa,i'raanah pesh-raft bohat achhee hai. ab wazn kee woh KhaamiyaaN naz^ar naheeN aateeN jo pehle gaahe gaahe dikhaayee de jaatee theeN. yeh aap kee meHnat kaa nateejah hai.

yeh sab "shaa,i'raanah pesh-raft" aap kee musalsal meHnat aor lagan kee hee marhoon-e-minnat hai. aap ne jis lagan se t^ulba, kee rehnumaee farmaee hai. aor jis t^araH un kee khat^ir ratooN kee neendeeN barbaad kar ke un ke liye lambe lambe khut^oot^ likh~e aor har mumkin rehnumaee farmaee woh kisee se Dh~akee ch~upee naheeN hai. ham sam t^alibaan-e-adab kee khush bakhtee rahee keh hameeN aap aese mua'tabar ustaad kee sarparastee naSeeb rahee aor hai.

mujh~e yad hai jab moHtarmah ReHanah SaHibah ke rafeeq-e-Hayaat M.S kareem jo mere karam farmaoN meN se haiN aap ka Ghae,banah ta'aruf karte huwe :urduduniya: meN shumuliyat ka mashwarah diya aor maiN baqae,eedagee se is bazm ka mimbar ban geya...... aor yooN aap ke Halqah-e-iradat meN shamil ho geya.

maiN is Haqiqat se inkaar naheeN kar sakta keh maiN ne is se pehle kisee aor ke aage zanu-e-adab teh nah kiye. mujhe fakhr hai. keh aap woh pehle shakhS haiN. jis ka sayah-e-shafqat mere shamil-e-Haal hai. aap se bohot kuch~ seekh~a.........azaaN ba'd janab Abdullah Naz^ir SaHib is silsilah kee dusree kaRee waqa' huwe........aor un kee shafqat bh~ee ta eeN dam mere shamil-e-Haal hai.

khuda aap donooN rehnumaooN ko daraaz-e-u'mr se nawaze!

maiN woh qiSSah tumheeN kaese sunaooN?
keh jis rudaad ka u'nwaaN naheeN hai,
achhaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe. agar bunat ko chust karnaa chaaheN to yooN bhee keh sakte haiN:

tumheN woh qiSSah-e-Gham kyaa sunaaYeN/
keh jis---------------

baRee u'mdah tazweez hai, kiya kehne, maiN ne ise ikhteyaar kar liya hai.

Quote
siwaa-e-ik mire khun-e-jigar ke
jahaaN meN kuch~ bh~ee to arzaaN naheeN hai,

Khoob! :kuchh bhee to: kee jagah :aur kuchh: keh kar dekh leN?
---------------------

yeh mashwarah bh~ee pasand aaya hai maiN ne aap kee hadayat ke mut^abiq miSra' bana diya hai.

Quote
faqat^ ik maiN hooN aor meree fuGhaaN hai
yahaaN koee pas-e-zindaaN naheeN hai,

bohat Khoob. :yahaaN koyee: kee jagah agar :koyee hamdam: kaheN to kaisaa rahe gaa?
---------------------------

jee behtar,

Quote
koee aesa naz^ar aata naheeN jao
raheen-e-gardish-e-daoraaN naheeN hai,

:raheen: kee jagah :shikaar: behtar ho gaa kyoN.k :raheen: ke ma'nee meN woh raNg shaamil naheeN hai jo aap ke she'r kaa hai. yooN aap behtar jaante haiN.
-------------------------------

shikaar bh~ee Th~eek hai lekin mujh~e a'aam bol chaal ka lag raha hai. is liye agar aapka is peh iSraar hai. to ph~ir badal deta hooN.

Quote
Muz^affar tere jaesa dasht-e-Gham meN
koee bh~ee khaar bah damaaN naheeN hai,

SaHeeH tarkeeb hai :Khaar-ba-daamaaN: nah keh :Khaar-baa-daamaaN:! aap ne :Khaar-bah-daamaaN: likhaa hai jo adaa naheeN ho rahaa hai. so naz^ar-e-caanee Z^arooree huyee. agar kaheeN aap ne aisaa dekhaa hai to bataa deN taa.k sanad kaa i'lm ho jaaYe.
---------------------------

1,
maiN ne kafee muddat pehle do aek jagah :khaar bah damaaN: dekh~a th~a is sisilah meN ab sanad muhiyya karne se qaSir hooN.

2,

aap durust farma rahe haiN keh :bah: ada naheeN ho raha lekin maiN marta kiya nah karta so Z^arurat-e-she'er ko meHsoos karte huwe yeh likh~ diya......aor koee butbadil Surat naheeN dikh~aee dee. khaer maiN is kee koee dusree Surat talaash kar rah hooN. aap bh~ee koshish kijiYe!!

aakhir meN aap ka teh-e-dil se mamnoon-o-eHsaan mand hooN keh aap ne asha'aar ko pasand farmaya aor faqeer ka HaoSilah baRh~aya.

zeyadah Hadd-e-adab!

Muz^affar[/b][/color]