• aik sher

Posted: **Mon Feb 19, 2007 2:43 pm**

AADAB,
AIK SHER PESH-E-KHIDMAT HAI...

ATIQ-UR-REHMAN SAFFY

Posted: **Tue Feb 20, 2007 10:31 am**

Atiq-ur-Rehman Saffy SaHib aadaab!

is khubSurat she'er par meree dilee dad qubool kijiYe!

Wassalam
Muz^affar

Posted: **Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:57 am**

salaam Saffy saHib

she'r ka khayaal bahot umda hai, aur is per meri daad bhi Haazir hai.

magar vazn ka kuch mas'ala lag rahaa hai, agar yooN kar deN to kaisa rahe ga :

ae kaash mo'jizaa ye hamaare hi bas meiN ho
dil jis ko chaahata hai vohi dastaras meiN ho

shukria

amjad

Posted: **Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:13 pm**

sara jee aap bilkul thee kehti hain, per kaash aisa bhi ho jata......

Posted: **Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:17 pm**

Mohtram muzaffer sb, aadab, aap ka bohot bohot shukriya
saffy

Posted: **Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:19 pm**

mohtram amjad sahib, aadab,
sher bilkul wazan mein hai, aap iss kee taqtee kar kay bhi check kar saktay hain, albata jo islah aap nay farmai hai uss say bewazan ho gya hai.
saffy

Posted: **Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:43 am**

Saffy saHib

aadaab arz hai

aap ka she'r vazn meiN na hone se meri muraad ye hai ke ye kisi muravvija beHr meiN nahiN lag rahaa.

lekin jo tajveez maine pesh ki hai use to kam az kam bay.vazn mat kahiye kyuNke voh muravvija beHr meiN hai :

beHr-e-muzaare' akhrab makfoof meHzoob

afaa'eel = maf'oolu___faa'i'laatu__mu.faa'ee'lu__ faa'i'lun

DC = 221__2121__1221__212

taqtee' =

ae kaash = maf_oo_lu

mo'jizah ye = faa_i_laa_tu

hamaare hi = mu_faa_ee_lu

bas meiN ho = faa_i_lun

*************

dil jis ko = maf_oo_lu

chaahata hai = faa_i_laa_tu

vohi dast-= mu_faa_ee_lu

-ras meiN ho = faa_i_lun

vaazeH rahe maine hargiz aap ki islaaH ki koshish nahiN ki, sirf aik tajveez di thi jo yaqeenan vazn meiN hai.

aap apne she'r ki taqtee' pesh kar deN taa'ke mere ilm meiN bhi izaafa ho

shukria

amjad

Posted: **Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:39 pm**

Mohtram Amjad Sahib, Asslam u Alikum,
aap kay aitraaz ka mufassal jawab gif file kay ilawa inpage mein bhi saath attach kar raha hoon,
Mulahiza kejy,
Atiq-ur-Rehman Saffy
Gujrat, pakistan
cell 923008725445

Posted: **Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:10 am**

moHtaram Saffy saHib

salaam arz hai

apne she'r per teHqeeq pesh karne ke liye bahot bahot shukria. yaqeenan is se mere ilm meiN izaafa hua hai.

maine aap ke she'r ko qatai taur per bay.vazn nahiN kahaa tha balke vazn ke "mas'ale" ka zikr kia tha. aap ne vazaaHat farmaa di, is ke liye shukria.

umeed hai is mutaalea se mere saath aap ke ilm meiN bhi izaafa hua hoga kyuNke aap ne mere pesh.karda tajveez ko bay.wazn keh diya tha

, ye dekhiye :

mohtram amjad sahib, aadab,
sher bilkul wazan mein hai, aap iss kee taqtee kar kay bhi check kar saktay hain, albata jo islah aap nay farmai hai uss say bewazan ho gya hai. saffy

meri bhi aise tamaam dostoN se guzaarish hai ke Khudaara baghair mutaalea kiye kisi ki bhi tajveez ko be.wazan na keh diya kareN.

kisi bhi qism ki dil.shikani ke liye maa'zirat 8)

Amjad

Posted: **Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:38 pm**

Mohtram Amjad sahib, Asslam u Alikum
AAP KA BOHOT BOHOT SHUKRIYA.
SAFFY

aik sher

aik sher

thanks

Mohtram Amjad sb, tawaja farmain