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ek ghazal...zehmath-e-nazar ke liye
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 5:09 am
by khudrath ali khan
kabhi koi apna hua na thha mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
kabhi dard yoon tho hua na thha mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
na hi humsafar na hi humnawa na hi rahbar na hi rahnuma
mujhe manzilon ka patha na thha mujhe aap kisliye mil gaye
kabhi thhi na apni nigah thur kabhi thhi na apni dhuan sehar
kabhi dil na thha yoon bujha bujha mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
kaheen aarzoo ka guzar na thha kahin zikr-e-khoon jigar na thha
kaheen husrathon ka gila na thha mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
na woh geeth aamad-e-subha ke na woh shor naghma-e-chah ke
kahein aur bhi tho kahenge kya mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
kabhi shaam tho khili khili hui kabhi subha thi tho saji hui
yehi dil jo hai thha kabhi mera mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye
na mazaq-e-yaaran-e-dosthan na malal-e-suhbath-e-ghumzadan
hue sub alag hue sub juda mujhe aap kisliye mil gaye[/img]
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 6:01 am
by muhammad_19k
Janab Qudrat Saheb,
aap k khyaalaat mashallah achhay haiN. Alfaz meN ehsaasat bhi haiN laikin abhi aap ko kuch buniadi usool samajhne ki zaroorat hai taak aap aik SaHeeh oar achchi ghazal keh sakeN. aap ki darj baalaa ghazal ki roshni meN 'arz karooN ga ke
qaafiya aor radeef par ghor kijiaye.
radeef sher ke woh mushtarik alfaaaz hote haiN jo har sher meN ke aakhir meN aate haiN.
aap ki ghazal meN radeef mujhe aaap kis leeaye mil gay
ab is se pehlay waalaa lafz qaafiyaa ho ga. aap ke qaafiyaa jaat jdua, miraa, kya, thaa bujhaa waghaira haiN . aap ne thaa ka bohat zydaa istemaa kyaa hai. aor phir pehlay sher ke dono misroN me thaa qaafiyaa bandh kar aap ne issay radeef ka Hissaa banaa diayaa hai.
waise such baat ye hai ke aap ne bohat mushkil radeef leeaye hai.
is ke b'aad aap ko beHr oar wazn ka khaaS kyaal rakhna ho gaa. meN bhi aap hi ki taraH seekhne ke marHlay meN hooN. iss leeaye beHr oar wazn se nipatene ke leeaye do kaam kartaa hooN.
1. ya to ghazal kehtaa hi us beHr meN hooN jis ka wazn mujhe m'loom ho.
2. ye aik sher likh kar kissi senior se poochtaa hooN ke ye konsi beHr hai oar is ka kyaa wazn hai par phir us par sher kehtaa hooN.
3. meN ab bhi chhoti chhoti beHroaN meN sher kehne ki practice kartaa hooN.
oar jub wazn theek ho jaa-aye ga to phir baat aa-aye gi mafhooM ko qaid karne ki, ussay sajaanay ki, tashbeehat o ist'aarat ki.
meN kis ahle sukhan se dakhaast karooN ga ke woh aap ki ghazal ki beHr par roshani DaalaiN. aaor app ko tajweez karooN ga ke aate jaate rahiaye.
khair andesh,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.