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aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:07 pm
by Ibn-e-siddique
assalam-o-alaikum

aik taraHi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai, umeed hai apni aaraa se navaazeN ge :

zeest ke saare maze maine jo paaye ghar se
aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

gham-e-tanhaai ki aavaaz jo aaye ghar se
aisi soorat meiN to Allaah bachaaye ghar se

she'r kehte hue taari tha junooN ka aalam
"kabhi seHra, kabhi darya nazar aaye ghar se"

qissa-e-dard ko tum dil meiN chupaa kar rakhnaa
baat ye ghar ki hai baahar nahiN jaaye ghar se

baap aHsaas-e-judaai se lahoo rotaa hai
rishta jab aata hai beTi ka paraaye ghar se

shikwa-e-zulmat-e-shab kis liye karta hai Nabeel
kaun kehta hai use raat meiN jaaye ghar se

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 12:25 am
by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
moHtaram Biradaram ibn-e-Sadeeqi SaaHib aadaab!

Aap kee Ghazal agarcheh dekh lee thee lekin kheyaal thaa keh deegar daost apnee ma'rooZ^aat pesh farma deeN to maiN bhee kuch a'rZ^ karooN gaa. taa keh sab daostooN kee raY kee raoshanee meN Ghazal ko qareeb se dekhne kaa maoqa' haath aa jae gaa. lekin ab tak daost is par nah likh sake aor mazeed yeh ummeed lagaaeY rakhnaa sa'ee-e-laaHaSil hee ho gee is liye apnee raY pesh kar rahaa hooN.

Ghazal ke sabhee she'er pasand aaY. radeef "ghar se" aasaan naheeN thee lekin aap ne kaamaal hee kar diyaa hai. keh baRee aasanee se she'er nikale haiN. Ghazal besaakhtah pan aor barjastagee kee wajah se bhee shaandaar ho gaee hai.


zeest ke saare maze maine jo paaye ghar se
aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

Waah! Waah!

gham-e-tanhaai ki aavaaz jo aaye ghar se
aisi soorat meiN to Allaah bachaaye ghar se

Kiyaa kehne!

she'r kehte hue taari tha junooN ka aalam
"kabhi seHra, kabhi darya nazar aaye ghar se"

Waah!

qissa-e-dard ko tum dil meiN chupaa kar rakhnaa
baat ye ghar ki hai baahar nahiN jaaye ghar se

Kiyaa kehne! Waah!

baap aHsaas-e-judaai se lahoo rotaa hai
rishta jab aata hai beTi ka paraaye ghar se

Bohot khoob!

shikwa-e-zulmat-e-shab kis liye karta hai Nabeel
kaun kehta hai use raat meiN jaaye ghar se

waah Waah!

is khubSurat koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye!
Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

Re: aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 5:59 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Ibn-e-siddique wrote:assalam-o-alaikum

aik taraHi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai, umeed hai apni aaraa se navaazeN ge :

zeest ke saare maze maine jo paaye ghar se
aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

Kyon Bhai... aisi kya baat ho gayi ke sab ke sab rukhsat ho gaye? aap ne koyi na-rawa solook to nahin kiya na unke saath.....?? Bahut pyara sher hai.

gham-e-tanhaai ki aavaaz jo aaye ghar se
aisi soorat meiN to Allaah bachaaye ghar se

Iska matlab hai... aap ghar main akele aur tanha rehte hain.... wo kya kehte hain khali ghar shaitaan ka... hai na..... ab to Alla'h hi bachaa sakta hai..... ye bhi achcha sher hai....!!

she'r kehte hue taari tha junooN ka aalam
"kabhi seHra, kabhi darya nazar aaye ghar se"

Wah bhai Wah... bahut umda girah lagaya hai aap ne... sher kehte hoye junoon taari tha.... kya baat hai... bahut pyara sher hai.

qissa-e-dard ko tum dil meiN chupaa kar rakhnaa
baat ye ghar ki hai baahar nahiN jaaye ghar se

Magar aap ne to hum sab ko bata diya hai... ghar ki baat ghar se baahar nahin jaana chahiye thi phir ye bhool aap se kaise ho gayi..... misra-e-sani mujhe bahut pyara laga....

baap aHsaas-e-judaai se lahoo rotaa hai
rishta jab aata hai beTi ka paraaye ghar se

YE SHER MERE MATLAB KA HAI.... MUJHE HASIL-E-GHAZAL SHER LAGA... Magar meri choti si samajh main Baap se jiyada Maa apni beti ki judaai main roti hai.... ye mera khayaal hai... Ek Behtareen Sher pe Meri dili DAAD qobool kiziye....!!

shikwa-e-zulmat-e-shab kis liye karta hai Nabeel
kaun kehta hai use raat meiN jaaye ghar se
Bahut khoob Nabeel bhai.... behad pyara maqtaa hai... Alla'h kare zor-e-qalam aur jiyada.

aap ka apna,

Munir Armaan Nasimi

Re: aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 6:22 am
by haamidbaaqri
Ibn-e-siddique wrote:assalam-o-alaikum

aik taraHi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai, umeed hai apni aaraa se navaazeN ge :

zeest ke saare maze maine jo paaye ghar se
aik ik kar ke voh rukhsat hue haaye ghar se

gham-e-tanhaai ki aavaaz jo aaye ghar se
aisi soorat meiN to Allaah bachaaye ghar se

she'r kehte hue taari tha junooN ka aalam
"kabhi seHra, kabhi darya nazar aaye ghar se"

qissa-e-dard ko tum dil meiN chupaa kar rakhnaa
baat ye ghar ki hai baahar nahiN jaaye ghar se

baap aHsaas-e-judaai se lahoo rotaa hai
rishta jab aata hai beTi ka paraaye ghar se

shikwa-e-zulmat-e-shab kis liye karta hai Nabeel
kaun kehta hai use raat meiN jaaye ghar se
Assalaam o alaikum
amjad bhai

is ustaadaanah takhleeq per humnay aapko pehlay bhi daad dee hai.

aaj bhi yahaaN aapko apni dilee daad daynay keliye haazir haugaye haiN.qubool farmaaiye :rose :clap01: .

allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah

mukhlis
haamidbaaqari

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:45 pm
by muhammad_19k
amjad SaHeb,

aap ki ghazal urdubandhan par daikh kar bohat khushi hoee. daad o mubarakbaad qubool kijiaye.

mukhliS,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:51 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
moHtaram Muzaffar saHib

salaam arz hai

taakheer se javaab dene ke liye maa'zirat. aap ne is qadar pazeeraai farmaayee hai ke adnaa ko aa'laa aur zarray ko aaftaab banaa diya.

tamaam ash'aar ko pasand farmaane aur daad-o-sitaaish se navaazne ke liye maiN aap ka mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hooN.

umeed hai isi taraH Hosla afzaai farmaate raheN ge.

aap ka bahot bahot shukriya.

Amjad