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Ghazal - Khushboo se Milo
Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:34 pm
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Pyare Dosto,
Ummeed ke mijaz shagufta honge !
Kuch din pahle aap meri "Chaandni" se mil chuke hain, pasand bhi kiya hai. Ab meri "Khushboo" se bhi mil liziye... Ummeed hai ke pasand aayegi.
Apni pasand aur na-pasand ka khul ke izhar kiziye....
aap ka apna,
Munir Armaan Nasimi
Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 5:07 pm
by muhammad_19k
mohtaram janab munir armaan nasimi SaHeb,
aaj kal to lagaa hai mashq e sukhan zoroN par hai. pehlay chanaNdni, ab khushboo oar phir............
. chaliaye daikhte haiN ke pardaa uthhay ga to kyaa niklay ga
.
ghazal bohat achhchhi hai. aor mujhe bohat bhalil lagi, mubarakbaad oar daad qubool kijiaye. aik to guzarishaat heN.
1. seedhay dil meN ya seedhi dil meN? meN is par doubtful hooN.
2. sher mujhe samajh naheeN aayaa.
3. gul o bulbul ko bulbul o gul kar daine se miSra vazn meN ho jaa-aye ga.
5. agar aap raiza raiza ki jagaa koocha koocha kar deN to sher meN kuch mubaalghaa to paidaa ho jaa aye ga laikin zubaan ke leHaz se bethar ho jaa-aye. khusho ka raizaa raizaa hona kuch zydaa theek naheeN lag rahaa.
in ashaar ye chhoti chhoti tabdeeleeN tajveez karne ke bawajood meN yehi kahooN ga ke ghazal bohat achhchhi hai.
mukhliS,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:25 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
muhammad_19k wrote:mohtaram janab munir armaan nasimi SaHeb,
aaj kal to lagaa hai mashq e sukhan zoroN par hai. pehlay chanaNdni, ab khushboo oar phir............
. chaliaye daikhte haiN ke pardaa uthhay ga to kyaa niklay ga
.
ghazal bohat achhchhi hai. aor mujhe bohat bhalil lagi, mubarakbaad oar daad qubool kijiaye. aik to guzarishaat heN.
1. seedhay dil meN ya seedhi dil meN? meN is par doubtful hooN.
2. sher mujhe samajh naheeN aayaa.
3. gul o bulbul ko bulbul o gul kar daine se miSra vazn meN ho jaa-aye ga.
5. agar aap raiza raiza ki jagaa koocha koocha kar deN to sher meN kuch mubaalghaa to paidaa ho jaa aye ga laikin zubaan ke leHaz se bethar ho jaa-aye. khusho ka raizaa raizaa hona kuch zydaa theek naheeN lag rahaa.
in ashaar ye chhoti chhoti tabdeeleeN tajveez karne ke bawajood meN yehi kahooN ga ke ghazal bohat achhchhi hai.
mukhliS,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
WO MAARA...... EK ACHHCHHI GHAZAL AAKHIR KAH DI MAIN NE....... BEHAD KHUSH HOON KE AAP KO PASAND AAYI.
AAP KE SUGGESTIONS KO NOTE KAR LIYA HAI........ AB RAHI BAAT DOOSRE SHER KI............ TO MAIN NE KYA SOCH KAR KAHA HAI BOL DETA HOON..... AAP FAISLA KAREIN KE..... KAHAN TAK SAHEEH HOON..... THEEK HAI BHAI....
.....har shaam jugnu baag main aata hai.... phoolon se aur khushboo se milne...... magar kuch din se nahin aaya to..... us shaam khushboo khud chal ke uske ghar gayi milne..... yon mohabbat do-tarfa hoyi....... hai na......!!
Aap batayein ke ab mere sher no. 2 main dum hai ya nahin?
aap ka bhai,
Armaan
Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:20 am
by Mayank
armaan bhaaii, praNaam !
taakhiir ke liye maazrat khwaah huu.n. aap kI Ghazal dekhii aur nihaayat masarrat huii ! fil-haal raseed dene aayaa hoo.n, do-ek roz me.n waqt nikaal kar phir haazir hota huu.n. apana khayaal rakhiyegaa...shukriyaa
aap ka apana,
mayank
Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:05 pm
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Shukriya Mayank ji...... main us "do-ek roz" ka 'abhi' se intezaar karoonga...!!
Jai Jagannath !!
Armaan
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 2:19 am
by ummassad
wah wah muneer .arman sahib .
maza aagaiya .bahout khoub .khushboo se damag mahek uttha.
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:10 am
by munir-armaan-nasimi
ummassad wrote:wah wah muneer .arman sahib .
maza aagaiya .bahout khoub .khushboo se damag mahek uttha.
Arrey wah... tabhi to aap itni mahki mahki baatein keh rahe hain...!!
Alla'h kare aap ka daaman bhi khushiyon ki mahak se hamesha mahakta rahe....
Aameen!
Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:10 am
by Mayank
Armaan bhaaii,
PraNaam,
aap kii yeh Ghazal behad achchhi lagii, kuchh alag sii aur haT kar, jo kee aap ke andaaz se mel khaata hai.. mujhe sabhii sher behad pasand aaye hai.n. yuu.n hii likhate rahe.n.
aaj kitanee nikhar gayee khushbuu,
seedhe dil me.n utar gayee khushbuu,
shaam hote hii uD ke gulshan se
pahle jugnuu ke ghar gayee khushbuu
by, the way zaraa bataaiyegaa kii yeh khushbuu kaun hai? yahaa.n nahii.n to private me.n sahee... don't mind bhaaii, just kidding!
yuu.n hii likhate rahe.n
aap ka
mayank
Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 3:06 pm
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Wo Chaandni sa badan, khushbooN ka saaya Hai
Bahut Azeez hai humko Magar Paraaya Hai !!
Aur Mayank ji.. hum kisi paraaye ka Naam le kar
Apnon ki mehfil main Bad-naam nahin karna chaahte; b'coz..
Hum ne Be-intehaa Wafa Kar ke
Be-wafaaoN se intequam Liya
ab aap samjhe....??? nahin samjhe??? to Pvt. main pooch lena.
aap ka bhai,
Armaan