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QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain........FarHan
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:12 pm
by farhan
Arbaab-e-MeHfil
Salaam o RaHmat!!
apni eik ghazal peesh karta hooN.ummid hai ko pasand aayegii.apni aara say nawaziyeaga.
Ghazal
1)na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
2)tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
3)na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
4)hamayN pata hai shab-e- intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
5)jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
6)nigah meiN KHaw tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
7)tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
8)Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
9)yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
10)malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
FarHan Aziiz
Madinah Munawwarah
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:26 pm
by muhammad_19k
Salam Farhan,
umeed hai ke itne muKhtaSir se comments ko hi bohat jane geN.
1)na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
ye sher bilkul saada se laga.
2)tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
khoob.
3)na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
pehmiSra meN aashiqii ki ki oar ki ki kaaf kuch bohat zydaa achaa ta'atacar nahi chhoR rahi. doosra miSraa boaht zabardast hai.
4)hamayN pata hai shab-e- intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
khoob.
5)jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
boha khoob. pehlay miSr ameN alfaaz ki tarteeb kuch ghair fitri lag rahi hai.
6)nigah meiN KHaw tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
khyaal khoob hai. laikin meN izhaar se bohat zydaa mutaacir nahi huwaa.
7)tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
bohat saada sher hai.
8)Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
bohat khoob!
9)yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
bohat khoob!
10)malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
maazirat chaahtaa hooN ye sher mujhe samajh nahi aayaa. yaqeenan mairi kam ilmi hai.
niazmand,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:38 am
by Sarwar A. Raz
mukarram-o-muHtaram Farhan SaaHeb: aadaab!
aap ko Anjuman meN Ghazal-saraa dekhtaa hooN lekin aaj se qabl ba-wujooh likh naheeN sakaa. aap kee Ghazal paRh kar masarrat se do-chaar huwaa. Anjuman kee raunaq roz-bar-oz baRhtee jaa rahee hai aur yeh sab aap jaise dostoN kee meHnat aur muHabbat kaa faiZ^aan hai. shukriyah!
aap kee Ghazal kaa a'am raNg dilkash hai. yeh z^aahir hai keh aap kaafee dinoN se mashq-e-suKhan kar rahe haiN. ek kaamyaab kaawish par meree jaanib se daad qubool keejiYe.
ab agar ijaazat ho to do ek baateN ba-t^aur-e-tabSirah bhee a'rZ^ kartaa chalooN? yeh Khayaalaat Ghazal paRh kar Zehn meN murattab huye haiN. in kee Haiciyat :fikr-ba-aawaaz-e-baland: (=thinking out loud) kee see hai. aur kuchh is se ziyaadah maqSood naheeN hai. ummeed hai keh aap is tabSireh ko achhee naz^roN se dekheN ge. shukriyah!
----------------------------------------
na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
mat^le' kaa doosraa miSra' achhaa hai. albattah :nah jeene marne kaa: ne mazaa kirkiraa kar diyaa. pehle miSre' kee bandish bhee sust hai aur muHaawirah bhee majrooH ho gayaa hai. :nah jeene aur nah marne: kahaa jaataa to baat bantee lekin she'r meN is kee gunjaa,ish naheeN hai. so yooN keh sakte haiN:
Hayaat-o-maut kaa kab ehtimaam karte haiN?
tire baGhair ------------------------
kyaa Khayaal hai aap kaa?
------------------------------
tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
achhaa she'r hai. daad! :tumhaaree hee baateN: ko :tumhaare afsaane: se badal kar dekh lene meN harj naheeN hai!
---------------------------------
na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
Khoob kahaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
-----------------------------
hamayN pata hai shab-e-intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
shay hai kyaa-----------> kyaa shay hai??
doosre miSre' kaa raNg bohat Khoob lagaa.
----------------------------
jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
is she'r meN :shutur-gurbah: kaa naqS hai. :jise: ke saath :karte haiN: naheeN keh sakte. :jise: jee jagah :jinheN: kete to durust hotaa. isee t^araH :a'z^mateN: kee munaasibat se :ho: kee jagah :hoN: kee Z^aroorat hai! she'r kee nacr (prose) kar ke dekh leejiYe to Khaamee Saaf naz^ar aa jaaYe gee.
--------------------------------
nigah meiN KHawb tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
she'r yooN to Theek hai, albattah :kahaaN qiyaam karte haiN:? kee waZ^aaHat naheeN huyee. ek baar phir dekh leN to buraa naheeN!
------------------------------
tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
kaun haiN :yeh log:? yeh she'r apne mafhoom meN bohat mubham hai. bandish aur alfaaz^ kee nashist bhee Ghareeb hai. so naz^ar-e-caanee kar lene meN hee behtaree hai!
------------------------------
Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
yah :Ghazaal-e-deir: kyaa hote haiN? kabhee yeh tarkeeb dekhee naheeN aur ab dekhee to meree samajh meN tarkeeb ke saath she'r kaa mafhoom bhee naheeN aayaa. tashreeH farmaa deN to mehrbaanee ho gee.
---------------------------------------
yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
aap apnee jaan-o-dil ke to kisee Had tak maalik haiN lekin :zamaan-o-makaan: aur :do a'alam: aap kee dastras meN mut^laq naheeN haiN. so in ko aap HuZoor (saws) kee naam kaise kar sakte haiN? yeh she'r aap ko yaqeena" badalnaa ho gaa!
---------------------------------
malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
:qadaH-ba-dast: se shaayad :saaqee-e-Kaucar: ya'ne Rasool-Allah (saws) muraad haiN. aur koyee taaweel meree naaqiS fehm meN naheeN aayee. so aap ne jab :malaa,ikah hee naheeN: kahaa to Khud ko :malaa,ikah: se baland aur behtar kahaa, ya'nee "un kee kyaa bisaat^ hai? :ham bhee: salaam karte haiN!" so yeh baat bhee iSlaaH chaahatee hai! wajh z^aahir hai!
----------------------
ummeed hai keh koyee baat naa-gawaar-e-Khaat^ir naheeN huyee ho gee.
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Re: QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain........FarHa
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:45 pm
by jawaid badauni
farhan wrote:
Arbaab-e-MeHfil
Salaam o RaHmat!!
apni eik ghazal peesh karta hooN.ummid hai ko pasand aayegii.apni aara say nawaziyeaga.
Ghazal
Khusaamadeed Farhan Saahab. aapki Ghazal sir aaNkhoN per. majmooii taur per
nihayat dilkash Ghazal hai. meri daad qubool kijiye. shayad kahiN kahiN miSroN
meN Safaii ki zaroorat hai. waise mera Khalyaal Ghalat bhi ho sakta hai. phir bhi
apni nacheez aara pesh kar raha hooN jis se muttafiq hona aap ke liye lazim nahiN hai.
1)na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
pahla miSra miSraa.e Saanee se kuch kamZor hai. aapne
maKhmal men Taat ka paiwand wali baat suni ha nah? agar
ek miSra ziyadah tez ho jaye tou doosra aur bhi halka lagne
lagta hai. nazr.e Saani kar lijiyega.
2)tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
achcha sher hai lekin kuch nah kuch kami raih gayee hai
kahiN nah kahiN. zara yuun paRh ke dekiyega
shaayd aap yehe baat kahna chaahte they:
tumhare Husn ke qissey tumhare pyar ka zikr
ibaadatoN ki tarah hum yeh kaam karte haiN
3)na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
bawojood iskey keh pahla miSra kuch Safaii chaahta hai
sher lajawab hai. aapke doosrey miSrey ne looT liya. Zindabaad.
4)hamayN pata hai shab-e- intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
Bhaii pahle miSrey meN "kya shai hai" hona chaahiye
magar us se ziyadah zaroori yeh hai keh KYUUNKER
lafz ko KAISE lafz se tabdeel kiya jaye tub maza aayega sheer ka.
5)jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
mere Azeez! jab aap ne doosre misrey men HAIN kaha hai
tou pahle meN JISE nahiN kah sakte JINHEN kahna paRega.
agar pahle miSre ko kuch yuuN kar leN tou sher
ke luTf meN izafah hojayega yeh mera dAwa hai:
jinheN shAoor.e waqaar.e alam hai ai yaaro
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay haiN
6)nigah meiN KHaw tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
aap shayd Khuaab lafz ka imla ghalat likh gaye haiN.
sher Safaai chaahta hai. shayad aap yeh kahna chaahte haiN:
nazar meN khuwaab tire dil meN HasrateN teri
nigaah.o.dil meN yeh donoN qayaam karte haiN
7)tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
yeh sher bhi Safai chaahta hai. nazar.e Saanikar lijiyega.
8)Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
moaaf kijiyega maiN aap ka mauqif kuch Thik se samajh
nahiN saka. sher wazahat chaahta hai.
9)yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
10)malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
nAAtia andaz ke ashAAr umdah haiN. Jazak Allah.
zaman.o.makan aur do Aalam unke naam karne se
yaqeenan aap ki murad yeh hai keh yeh sub kuch
aap unki muwaddat meN tark karne ko tayyar haiN.
Sarkar-e Mursaleen SAWW aap ka nazranaa.e aqeedat
qubool farmayeN aur Allah SWT aap ko jazaa.e Khair
e nawaze (aamin).
Aapka apna,
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat-Oman
FarHan Aziiz
Madinah Munawwarah
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:31 pm
by farhan
Salam Farhan,
umeed hai ke itne muKhtaSir se comments ko hi bohat jane geN.
3)na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
pehmiSra meN aashiqii ki ki oar ki ki kaaf kuch bohat zydaa achaa ta'atacar nahi chhoR rahi. doosra miSraa boaht zabardast hai.
Walaikum Salam Muhammad K. Siddiqui
Janab kaisay mizaaj haiN aap kay? aap nay idhar nigaah-e-karam ki yeh mayray liye bahut baRi baat hai. aap ka muKHliSana tabSarah paRh kar bahut khushi huii.Shukriya.
shair# 3 aap nay likha k "ki ki" takraar achcha ta'atacar nahin chhor rahi. sub say pehlay to yeh ki "qee" kay baad "ki" hai aur AashiQee ki "ya" dabaee jarahi hai. so is miSra ko zara ik baar gunguna kar deekhiyea!!.
5)jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
boha khoob. pehlay miSr ameN alfaaz ki tarteeb kuch ghair fitri lag rahi hai.
jaisa k Janab Sarwar Raz SaHib nay, nisaan-dahi ki hai k is meiN :shutur-gurbah: hai. so is per maiN mazeed gour o fikar karoonga.
6)nigah meiN KHawb tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
khyaal khoob hai. laikin meN izhaar se bohat zydaa mutaacir nahi huwaa.
dosray miSra say maiN khud bhi muTma'in nahin hooN.pehlay miSra meiN, maiN nay ik khaS kaifiyat ka izhaar kiya hai. so mujhay is kay izhaar aur alfaaz ki naSHist dono say muTma'in hooN, albatta dosra misra phir say kehnay ki koushish karoonga.
10)malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
maazirat chaahtaa hooN ye sher mujhe samajh nahi aayaa. yaqeenan mairi kam ilmi hai.
niazmand,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
QadaH ba-dast say muraad :saaqee-e-Kaucar: ya'ne Rasool-Allah (saws) haiN. ummid karta hooN k ab baat waZeh hogayi hogi.
ummid hai aayenda bhi aap say guftagoo raheygii.
Talib-e-dau
Farhan Aziiz
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:35 pm
by farhan
mukarram-o-muHtaram Farhan SaaHeb: aadaab!
aap ko Anjuman meN Ghazal-saraa dekhtaa hooN lekin aaj se qabl ba-wujooh likh naheeN sakaa. aap kee Ghazal paRh kar masarrat se do-chaar huwaa. Anjuman kee raunaq roz-bar-oz baRhtee jaa rahee hai aur yeh sab aap jaise dostoN kee meHnat aur muHabbat kaa faiZ^aan hai. shukriyah!
aap kee Ghazal kaa a'am raNg dilkash hai. yeh z^aahir hai keh aap kaafee dinoN se mashq-e-suKhan kar rahe haiN. ek kaamyaab kaawish par meree jaanib se daad qubool keejiYe.
ab agar ijaazat ho to do ek baateN ba-t^aur-e-tabSirah bhee a'rZ^ kartaa chalooN? yeh Khayaalaat Ghazal paRh kar Zehn meN murattab huye haiN. in kee Haiciyat :fikr-ba-aawaaz-e-baland: (=thinking out loud) kee see hai. aur kuchh is se ziyaadah maqSood naheeN hai. ummeed hai keh aap is tabSireh ko achhee naz^roN se dekheN ge. shukriyah!
Janab-e-MuHtaram Sarwar Raz SaHib......Yahfazahullah.
Anjuman ki raunaq yaQeenan baRti jarahi hai.yeh ik achchi aalamat hai. dua hai k yeh isi TaraH baRti rahye.aur naye naye aHbaab is karwaaN main shareek hooN.
ghazal per daad kay liye maiN aap ka mamnoon hooN.
ghazal per aap ka tabSara mayray liye ik dars ki haiciyat rakhta hai. mayri hi nahin aurooN ki gazlooN per bhi aap ka tabSara baRi tawajjoh aur dil-chispi say paRhta hooN, aur bahut kuch seekhta hooN.
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na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
mat^le' kaa doosraa miSra' achhaa hai. albattah :nah jeene marne kaa: ne mazaa kirkiraa kar diyaa. pehle miSre' kee bandish bhee sust hai aur muHaawirah bhee majrooH ho gayaa hai. :nah jeene aur nah marne: kahaa jaataa to baat bantee lekin she'r meN is kee gunjaa,ish naheeN hai. so yooN keh sakte haiN:
Hayaat-o-maut kaa kab ehtimaam karte haiN?
tire baGhair ------------------------
kyaa Khayaal hai aap kaa?
mujhay aap ki baat say ittefaQ hai ki pehlay miSra main alfaaz ki bandish sust hai. maiN nay koushish k thi ki kisi taraH, :na jeenay aur na marne: ko bandaha jasakaye. lakin gunjaa,ish na thi. aap ka bataya hua misRa achcha hai. maiN ise shukriya kay saath qabool karta hooN. JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRA.
------------------------------
tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
achhaa she'r hai. daad! :tumhaaree hee baateN: ko :tumhaare afsaane: se badal kar dekh lene meN harj naheeN hai!
shukriya.aap ki tajweez khoob hai. lakin gungunatay hue lafz :afsaane: per zubaan atak rahi hai. so maiN :tumharii hi bateeN: theek samjahta hooN.
---------------------------------
na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
Khoob kahaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
shukriya Janab! yeh shair mujhay bahut pasand hai.yeh maray dil kay qareeb hai
-----------------------------
hamayN pata hai shab-e-intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
shay hai kyaa-----------> kyaa shay hai??
doosre miSre' kaa raNg bohat Khoob lagaa.
pehlay maiN nay ::kyaa shay hai??:: hi likha tha. lakin phir vohi baat k gungunatay hue,:shay: ki "ya" aur :hai: ki "ya" say miSra ki rawani mutaccir ho rahi thi, isi liye badal kar :shay kyaa hai??:: kardiya tha.
lakin ab main :kyaa shay hai: ko hi munasib samajnay laga hooN. so qabool hai.Shukriya
----------------------------
jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
is she'r meN :shutur-gurbah: kaa naqS hai. :jise: ke saath :karte haiN: naheeN keh sakte. :jise: jee jagah :jinheN: kete to durust hotaa. isee t^araH :a'z^mateN: kee munaasibat se :ho: kee jagah :hoN: kee Z^aroorat hai! she'r kee nacr (prose) kar ke dekh leejiYe to Khaamee Saaf naz^ar aa jaaYe gee.
uffff.....yeh mujh say chook hogayii.yani SaHeeH miSra youN hoga
::jinheeN hooN dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!::
lakin is miSrA maiN alfaaz ki nashist kuch munasib nahin maloom horahi. maiN iss per mazeed gour o fikr karoonga.
--------------------------------
nigah meiN KHawb tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
she'r yooN to Theek hai, albattah :kahaaN qiyaam karte haiN:? kee waZ^aaHat naheeN huyee. ek baar phir dekh leN to buraa naheeN!
------------------------------
Ji behtar!! waisay kiya yeh baat waZaahat talab hai, jab k kaha gaya hai ki:nigah meiN khawb: aur :dil meiN HasrateeN: qayaam karti haiN.
tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
kaun haiN :yeh log:? yeh she'r apne mafhoom meN bohat mubham hai. bandish aur alfaaz^ kee nashist bhee Ghareeb hai. so naz^ar-e-caanee kar lene meN hee behtaree hai!
Ji behtar!!
------------------------------
Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
yah :Ghazaal-e-deir: kyaa hote haiN? kabhee yeh tarkeeb dekhee naheeN aur ab dekhee to meree samajh meN tarkeeb ke saath she'r kaa mafhoom bhee naheeN aayaa. tashreeH farmaa deN to mehrbaanee ho gee.
feroz-ul-ulGaat maiN ::aahu-e-haram:: kay maAni ::Haram ka rehnay wala hiran:: aur majazan :: mAashooQ:: likhe hue haiN. maiN nay ::aahu-e-haram:: ko Gazaal-e-deir say badal diya. shayed kisi hadd tak is shair ki tashreeH hogai hogi.
Janab Siraj uddin Zafar marHoom farmatay haiN..
::maza to jab hai k Khali rahay na Khalwat-e-shab
Ghazal-e-deir uthay, aahu-e-Haram aaye::
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yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
aap apnee jaan-o-dil ke to kisee Had tak maalik haiN lekin :zamaan-o-makaan: aur :do a'alam: aap kee dastras meN mut^laq naheeN haiN. so in ko aap HuZoor (saws) kee naam kaise kar sakte haiN? yeh she'r aap ko yaqeena" badalnaa ho gaa!
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malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
:qadaH-ba-dast: se shaayad :saaqee-e-Kaucar: ya'ne Rasool-Allah (saws) muraad haiN. aur koyee taaweel meree naaqiS fehm meN naheeN aayee. so aap ne jab :malaa,ikah hee naheeN: kahaa to Khud ko :malaa,ikah: se baland aur behtar kahaa, ya'nee "un kee kyaa bisaat^ hai? :ham bhee: salaam karte haiN!" so yeh baat bhee iSlaaH chaahatee hai! wajh z^aahir hai!
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ummeed hai keh koyee baat naa-gawaar-e-Khaat^ir naheeN huyee ho gee.
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
akhri shair aur maQta kay talluq say main apnay khiyalaat kuch dinooN ba'd arZ karta hooN..
aap ki is himmat afzayii kay liye maiN mamnoon o mutashakkur hooN...
JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRA.
Farhan Aziiz
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:37 pm
by farhan
Khusaamadeed Farhan Saahab. aapki Ghazal sir aaNkhoN per. majmooii taur per
nihayat dilkash Ghazal hai. meri daad qubool kijiye. shayad kahiN kahiN miSroN
meN Safaii ki zaroorat hai. waise mera Khalyaal Ghalat bhi ho sakta hai. phir bhi
apni nacheez aara pesh kar raha hooN jis se muttafiq hona aap ke liye lazim nahiN hai.
Shukriya Janab Juwaid SaHib.
aap ko yahan deekh kar ba-khuda bahut khushii hui.daad kay liye sipas-guazaar hooN.ummid karta hooN k aap ki rehnumayii mujhay aayendah bhi muyassar rahygi.
aap say iltaymaas hai k aap bay-baakana apni raye zahir kareeN yeh mayray liye bahut zaroori hai.shukriya
1)na jeene marnay ka kuch ahtaymaam karty hain.
tire baGair youN hi Subh-o-shaam kartay hain.
pahla miSra miSraa.e Saanee se kuch kamZor hai. aapne
maKhmal men Taat ka paiwand wali baat suni ha nah? agar
ek miSra ziyadah tez ho jaye tou doosra aur bhi halka lagne
lagta hai. nazr.e Saani kar lijiyega.
aap baja farmatay haiN. maiN nay pehlay miSra ko Janab Sarwar Raz SaHib kay tajweez kardah miSra say tabdeel kardiya hai. ab yeh shair youN hai aur bahut behtar bhi hai
::Hayaat-o-maut kaa kab ehtimaam karte haiN?
tire baGair youN hi SubH o Shaam karte haiN!::
2)tumharay Husn kay QiSSay, tumharii hi bateeN.
yeh kar-e-neik hai, aur hum yeh kaam kartay hain.
achcha sher hai lekin kuch nah kuch kami raih gayee hai
kahiN nah kahiN. zara yuun paRh ke dekiyega
shaayd aap yehe baat kahna chaahte they:
tumhare Husn ke qissey tumhare pyar ka zikr
ibaadatoN ki tarah hum yeh kaam karte haiN
aap ki tajweez mAaqool hai, lakin mujhay apna shair pasand hai.aap ki is tajweez per aap ka shukriya ada karta hooN.
3)na jane AashiQee ki hai yeh kounsi manzil.
hum apnay aap say akcer kalaam kartay hain.
bawojood iskey keh pahla miSra kuch Safaii chaahta hai
sher lajawab hai. aapke doosrey miSrey ne looT liya. Zindabaad.
shukriya Janab! yeh shair mujhay bahut pasand hai.yeh maray dil kay qareeb hai
4)hamayN pata hai shab-e- intayzaar shay kya hai?
hamiiN say poochiye kyouN kar tamaam kartay hain.
Bhaii pahle miSrey meN "kya shai hai" hona chaahiye
magar us se ziyadah zaroori yeh hai keh KYUUNKER
lafz ko KAISE lafz se tabdeel kiya jaye tub maza aayega sheer ka.
pehlay maiN nay ::kyaa shay hai??:: hi likha tha. lakin phir vohi baat k gungunatay hue,:shay: ki "ya" aur :hai: ki "ya" say miSra ki rawani mutaccir ho rahi thi, isi liye badal kar :shay kyaa hai??:: kardiya tha. lakin ab main :kyaa shay hai: ko hi munasib samajnay laga hooN. so qabool hai.Shukriya
mayray khiyaal meiN :kyouN kar: lafz :kaisay: kay maAni ada kar raha hai. waisay :kaisae: bhi theek hai.
5)jisay ho dard ki mAaloom AzmateeN yaroo!
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay hain.
mere Azeez! jab aap ne doosre misrey men HAIN kaha hai
tou pahle meN JISE nahiN kah sakte JINHEN kahna paRega.
agar pahle miSre ko kuch yuuN kar leN tou sher
ke luTf meN izafah hojayega yeh mera dAwa hai:
jinheN shAoor.e waqaar.e alam hai ai yaaro
shikasta dil ka vohi aHtraam kartay haiN
aap kay tajweez kardah miSrA meiN rawani kam hai.zubaan :hai: aur :ai: yaroo main ulajh rahi hai. waise maiN iss per mazeed gour o fikr kar raha hooN.
6)nigah meiN KHaw tire, dil meiN HasrateeN tayrii.
mira naSeeb hai! dono qiyaam kartay hain.
aap shayd Khuaab lafz ka imla ghalat likh gaye haiN.
sher Safaai chaahta hai. shayad aap yeh kahna chaahte haiN:
nazar meN khuwaab tire dil meN HasrateN teri
nigaah.o.dil meN yeh donoN qayaam karte haiN
ji janab! aap nay bhi khoob pakRa. yahan mujhay say galati hogi.shukriya. aayenda imla ka khaS khiyaal rakhooNga.
dil ka 2 jaga aur hum mAani alfaaz :nazar: aur :nigah: ka ik shair meiN istaymaal kuch bhala nahin lag raha.yeh mayra khiyaal hai.
waise maiN miSra-e-Cani per ghour kar raha hooN.
7)tire firaaQ meiN jaanaaN!! tire diwaanay ka.
yahi wo looG haiN, jeena haraam kartay haiN.
yeh sher bhi Safai chaahta hai. nazar.e Saanikar lijiyega.
Ji behtar! janab!!
8)Gazaal-e-deir meiN Khoo-e-wafa nahin lakin!
hamiiN haiN voh, jo unheeN zeer-e-daam kartay hain.
moaaf kijiyega maiN aap ka mauqif kuch Thik se samajh
nahiN saka. sher wazahat chaahta hai.
Janab Sarwar Raz SaHib kay jawabi khat meiN iss baat ki wazahat kardi gayi hai.deekh lijeaga.
9)yeh jaan-o-dil, yeh zamaan-o-makaaN, yeh do Aalam.
sabhi kuch apna, MUHAMMAD(PBUH) k naam kartay hain.
10)malayeka hi nahiN unn kay moAtaQid farhan!
QadaH ba-dast ko hum bhi salaam kartay hain.
nAAtia andaz ke ashAAr umdah haiN. Jazak Allah.
zaman.o.makan aur do Aalam unke naam karne se
yaqeenan aap ki murad yeh hai keh yeh sub kuch
aap unki muwaddat meN tark karne ko tayyar haiN.
Sarkar-e Mursaleen SAWW aap ka nazranaa.e aqeedat
qubool farmayeN aur Allah SWT aap ko jazaa.e Khair
e nawaze (aamin).
Aapka apna,
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat-Oman
aap ko nAAtia andaz ke ashAAr umdah lage.JAZAKUMULLAHU KHAIRA.
aap ki dua per maiN teh dil say ameen kehta hooN.
Talib-e-dua
FarHan Aziiz
Madinah Munawwarah