Mohtaram Janab Javed SaHeb

aap ghazal ke tamaam ashaar mani aafareeni men aaeenay ki taraH Saaf heN. aisi umdaa ghazal par daad qubool kijiaye.

maqta' sab se zydaa pasand aayaa.

aap ne aek sher likhaa hai.

raha na aashna aiboN se apne
woh jis se aaienah dekha nah jaaye

mujhe donoN miSra meN zamanay kyaa farq lag rahaa hai. agar pehlaay miSra meN rahaa istemaal ho rahaa hai to doosa miSra meN meN na jaa-aye 'aadat ko zaahir kar rahaa hai jo must^qbil tak jaa-aye gi jaise ke aap ke baaqi ashaar se bhi zaahir hai. . mairi meHdood 'aqal kehti hai ke pehlay miSra meN rahay (woh naashnaa hi rahay ga ) honaa chahiaye.

agar aap is par mairi rehnumai karna cha-heN to bandaa shukrguzaar hoga.

niazmand,

muhammad_19k wrote: Mohtaram Janab Javed SaHeb

aap ghazal ke tamaam ashaar mani aafareeni men aaeenay ki taraH Saaf heN. aisi umdaa ghazal par daad qubool kijiaye.

maqta' sab se zydaa pasand aayaa.

aap ne aek sher likhaa hai.

raha na aashna aiboN se apne
woh jis se aaienah dekha nah jaaye

mujhe donoN miSra meN zamanay kyaa farq lag rahaa hai. agar pehlaay miSra meN rahaa istemaal ho rahaa hai to doosa miSra meN meN na jaa-aye 'aadat ko zaahir kar rahaa hai jo must^qbil tak jaa-aye gi jaise ke aap ke baaqi ashaar se bhi zaahir hai. . mairi meHdood 'aqal kehti hai ke pehlay miSra meN rahay (woh naashnaa hi rahay ga ) honaa chahiaye.

agar aap is par mairi rehnumai karna cha-heN to bandaa shukrguzaar hoga.

niazmand,

Bohat bohat shukriya Khawar. Mujhe bhi rahey lafz hi ab ziyadah achcha lag raha hai. aap jante haiN main Tarahee ghazaloN per nazr.e Saanee nahiN karta bus kuch sher kahe aur bhej diye Haazri lag gayee aur chaahne waloN ki shikayat se bhi buch gaye. mashwarey ke liye jo munasib bhi lag raha hai aap ka shukriya.

MuKhliS
Jawaid

sara_j wrote:

jawaid badauni wrote:

KhazaN se kuch hara dekha nah jaye
shajar phoola phala dekha nah jaye


wafa.o.jung meN sub kuch hai jaaiiz
yahaN achcha bura dekha nah jaye


kaho tou apni aaNkheN bund kar looN
tumheN jaata huuwa dekha nah jaye...........zabardsat!! bohat haseen shair ... =D>


abhee itna adab baaqi hai mujh meN
buzurgoN ko khaRa dekha na jay


raha na aasha aiboN se apne
woh jis se aaienah dekha nah jaaye


Ilaahee zulm ko nabood kar dey
keh ab daur.e jafa dekha nah jaye


hamare ashk bhaate haiN sabhee ko
kisee se qahqaha dekha nah jaye


huuwee “Jawaid” jab se deed.e janaN
koyee uske siwa dekha nah jaye...........kya kehne!!


Jawaid Badauni

Jawaid bhai salaam,

bohat umda ashaar nikaale hain aap, ghazal bohat pasand aayi.

khaas teesre shair ne tou looT liya.......bohat hi haseen shair hai

dili daad qubool keejiye.

sara

Bohat bohat shukriya Sara SaHibah. Kisee Ghazal meN agar ek sher bhi bohat achcha ho jaye tou maiN samajhta hooN keh meHnat woSool huuwee. waise aap ko mAlum hai main Tarahee GhazaloN meN ziyadah waqt nahiN gaNwata bus kahta hoon aur bhej deta hooN. kabhi kabhi tou nazar.e Saanee bhi nahiN ho paatee. zameen bhi bohat aasaan nahiN hai. kuch bhi ho in mushairoN se mashqe sukhan ka sunaihree mauqa mil jata hai.

Jawaid

moHtaram Javed SaaHib,
aadaab.


aapkii murassa Ghazal paRhi, lutf aagaya. Khaaksaar kii jaanib say bhi daad HaaZir hai gar qabool uftaad.


SAMEER

Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:moHtaram Jawaid Badauni SaaHib tasleemaat!

Ummeed hai kheriyat se hooN geY. hamsaayah chapaal ke rawaN mushae'rah ke liye aap kee Ghazal khuld-e-naz^ar huee. kiya kehneY nihayat moHtaat^ aor anookheY asloob-e-bayaaN kee yeh Ghazal dil ko chu gaee. mujheY ummeed nah thee keh is qadr-e-mushkil radeef meN aesee shahkaar Ghazal mushae'rah kee raonaq aor dilkashee kaa cabab baneY gee. aap ne caabit kar diya hai keh agar shaae'ir meN Haqeeqee jazbah aor fit^ree kamaal kaa anSar kaarfarmaa ho to koee wajah naheeN keh aesee mushkil ZameenooN meN apneY kamaal-e-fikr-o-fan ke ghooReY nah daoRaeY. aap ne baRee maharat aor fit^ree jaohar-e-iz^haar kaa cuboot faraham karteY huweY bilamubaalGhah HaseeN Ghazal kahee hai. jo seedhee dil meN utartee hai. aor khaanah--e-dil meN apnee jagah aap banaatee hai.

mujheY fakhar hai keh hamareY darmiyaan aap aeseY afraad maojood haiN jo apneY Husn-e-bayaaN se meHfilooN ko raonaq bakhshteY haiN. maiN aap kaa teh-e-dil se mamnoon rahaa hooN hor hameshah rahooN gaa. miree dua'aa hai keh Allah aap ke kalam ko maZeed nikhaareY aor is meN maZeed jaazbiyat aor kashish paedah farmaa deY keh jo aap ke ism-e-mubarak ko hameshah zindah-o-jawaid rakheY. :Badaun: shua'ra' kee sarZameen hai. kis kis shaae'i-o-daanishwar kaa naam looN khat^ t^uweel ho jaeY gaa. so aap bhee usee silsilah kee aek kaRee haiN. Allah yeh silsilah taa baa meHshar qaae'm-o-daae'im rakheY. Aameen!


KhazaN se kuch hara dekha nah jaye
shajar phoola phala dekha nah jaye

Waah Waah!

wafa.o.jung meN sub kuch hai jaaiiz
yahaN achcha bura dekha nah jaye

Kiya kehneY Waah! Waah!

kaho tou apni aaNkheN bund kar looN
tumheN jaata huuwa dekha nah jaye

Bohot khoob! Waah!

abhee itna adab baaqi hai mujh meN
buzurgoN ko khaRa dekha na jay

Kiya kehneY waah!

raha na aasha aiboN se apne
woh jis se aaienah dekha nah jaaye

Kiya kehneY Waah Waah! is meN :aashna: meN typo ho gaee hai. :noon: kaa iZ^afah farma deN.


Ilaahee zulm ko nabood kar dey
keh ab daur.e jafa dekha nah jaye

Bohot khoob Waah! Hasb-e-Haal hai.


hamare ashk bhaate haiN sabhee ko
kisee se qahqaha dekha nah jaye

Waah Waah! Kiya kehneY!


huuwee “Jawaid” jab se deed.e janaN
koyee uske siwa dekha nah jaye

Lajawab Waah Waah!

meree jaanib se is kaamyaab koshish par dilee daad qubool farma kar mamnoon farmaeeN.

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

Azeezi Muzaffar SaaHab, aadaab

aap ki daad faKhr.o.masarrat ka baayiS bani. behud mamnoon hooN. Bhaii! maiN aap ki Nasree salaHiyaton ka qaaiil hooN magar Khudara aisa kuch nah likhiyega jis se mujhe sharmindagee hone lage. maiN ek bohat mAmuli wa mubatadee shayar hooN. albatta mujhe shauq zaroor hai shairee ka aur apni tamam zindage maiN ne is shauq ki nazr kardee hai. mera karobaari maidaan is se khasa mukhtalif hai. aap ko ilm hai maiN peshe ke e'tbaar se ek "finance manager" hooN magar shauq apni jagah roTi rozi apni jagah.

miSra waqaii bohat dushwaar tha. maiN yehee samjha tha sher nahiN ho sakenge. magar phir ek sher ho gaya, doosra huuwa, teesra huuwa aur phir jo kuch huuwa aap ke saamne hai. aapse zati murasilat ke dauran mukarrar.o.musalsal Arz kar chuka hoon aasaan miSrey diya kijiye takeH tamam membraan achche se achcha kalam bhej sakeN. Is se shukaa' ki tAAdaad bhi baRh jayegee aur kalam ka meyaar bhji bhi buland hoga.

ziyadah doa,

Jawaid Badauni

m.naeem.sameer wrote:moHtaram Javed SaaHib,
aadaab.


aapkii murassa Ghazal paRhi, lutf aagaya. Khaaksaar kii jaanib say bhi daad HaaZir hai gar qabool uftaad.


SAMEER

moHtarme Sameer SaaHab, tasleemaat

Ghazal ki pazeeraayee ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN. ummid hai aaindah bhi apni giraNqadr aara se nawazte raheNge.

apka muKhliS

Jawaid Badauni