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GHAZAL
Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:16 pm
by Waqar Zaidi
GHAZAL
CHAND NIKLA AUR FALAK PAR ZAU FASHAN HONAY LAGA
DARD YADON KA BARHA AUR BAIKARAN HONAY LAGA
SEHN E GULSHAN SAY SABA CHUPKAY SAY GUZRI THI KABHI
AUR MUJHAY TAIRAY HI AANAY KA GUMAAN HONAY LAGA
HO GAYE BARHAM WOH MUJH SAY ZULF E BARHAM KI TARAH
HAR NAFAS MAIRAY LIYE BAAR E GARAN HONAY LAGA
SHIDDAT E GHAM KA MIRI KUCHH TUJH KO ANDAZA NAHIN
DIL SAY NIKLA ASHK AANKHON SAY AYAAN HONAY LAGA
DAIKH TAIRAY GHAM NAY KIA KIA SHAKL KI HAY IKHTIYAR
AANKH SHOLA, SOCH PATTHAR, DIL DHUAAN HONAY LAGA
AADAMI NAY KAR DIA HAY TANG HALQA ZEEST KA
ZARRA E NA CHEEZ BARH KAR AASMAAN HONAY LAGA
RANG UN KAY CHEHRAY PE AATAY RAHAY JATAY RAHAY
AAKHIR AAKHIR UN KO AHSAS E ZIYAAN HONAY LAGA
AY WAQAR E GHAM YE TAIRI KHUSH NASEEBI HAY KE AB
APNAY GHAM KA UN KI MEHFIL MAIN BAYAAN HONAY LAGA
Re: GHAZAL
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:21 pm
by Shummu
Sab se pehle to tah-e-dil se khushaamadeed urdubandhan meiN....aap ki ghazal paRh ke bahut khushi hui Waqar sahab.....
CHAND NIKLA AUR FALAK PAR ZAU FASHAN HONAY LAGA
DARD YADON KA BARHA AUR BAIKARAN HONAY LAGA
--wahhhhh bahut khoobsurat MATLA!
SEHN E GULSHAN SAY SABA CHUPKAY SAY GUZRI THI KABHI
AUR MUJHAY TAIRAY HI AANAY KA GUMAAN HONAY LAGA
--wahhhhhh ye sher bahut achcha hai!
HO GAYE BARHAM WOH MUJH SAY ZULF E BARHAM KI TARAH
HAR NAFAS MAIRAY LIYE BAAR E GARAN HONAY LAGA
--bahut umda!
SHIDDAT E GHAM KA MIRI KUCHH TUJH KO ANDAZA NAHIN
DIL SAY NIKLA ASHK AANKHON SAY AYAAN HONAY LAGA
--wow....lovely!
DAIKH TAIRAY GHAM NAY KIA KIA SHAKL KI HAY IKHTIYAR
AANKH SHOLA, SOCH PATTHAR, DIL DHUAAN HONAY LAGA
--wah wah wah!!!!!!
AADAMI NAY KAR DIA HAY TANG HALQA ZEEST KA
ZARRA E NA CHEEZ BARH KAR AASMAAN HONAY LAGA
--kya bata hai..bahut khoob!
RANG UN KAY CHEHRAY PE AATAY RAHAY JATAY RAHAY
AAKHI AAKHIR UN KO AHSAS E ZIYAAN HONAY LAGA
--second misra smajah nahi aaya "aakhi" kya hota hai? is it a typo?
AY WAQAR E GHAM YE TAIRI KHUSH NASEEBI HAY KE AB
APNAY GHAM KA UN KI MEHFIL MAIN BAYAAN HONAY LAGA
--wah zabardast MAQTA bhi!
Bahut khoobsurat ghazal kahi hai aapne..jitni taareef kareiN kam hi hai.. ummeed hai aap aate rahenge..auron ke kalaam pe bhi tabsira kiya karenge aur apna bhi kalaam waqfe qwaqfe se post kiya karenge
Shumaila
Babhut achchii ghazal paish kii hei aap ne
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:32 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaram
Waqar Zaidi Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki ghazlaiN paRhkar bahut khushi huvi. Bahut hii achche ashAar kehte heiN aap.
Sab se pahle maiN aap se ye bataadooN ke meri aaraa se aap kaa muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN.
CHAND NIKLA AUR FALAK PAR ZAU FASHAN HONAY LAGA
DARD YADON KA BARHA AUR BAIKARAN HONAY LAGA
Bahut hii achchaa maTlaA hei. Lafz 'Zau-fashaN' nahiN balkeh 'Zau-fishaaN' hei.
SEHN E GULSHAN SAY SABA CHUPKAY SAY GUZRI THI KABHI
AUR MUJHAY TAIRAY HI AANAY KA GUMAAN HONAY LAGA
Pahle misreA se maazi kii Taraf ishaarah hourahaa hei aur kabhi se maazi ba'Aeed kaa.
Doosra misraA is andaaz se kahaa jaarahaa hei ke pahle misreA kii ibaarat ke nateejeh meiN "aur mujhe tere hi aane kaa gumaaN houne lagaa". Zamaane (tense) ke farq see baat poori taraH se ban nahiN paarahi hei. Mumkin hei lafz "kabhi" ke bajaaye "idhar" isteAmaal kareN yaa jaisaa aap munaasib samjheN. Meri tajveez kuch yooN houjayegi:
SeHn-e-gulshan se Saba chupke se guzri thii idhar
aur mujhe tere hii aane kaa gumaaN houne lagaaa
HO GAYE BARHAM WOH MUJH SAY ZULF E BARHAM KI TARAH
HAR NAFAS MAIRAY LIYE BAAR E GARAN HONAY LAGA
Waah waah, kiyaa kehne Waqaar Saahib. Lafz "garaN" nahiN balke giraaN hei.
SHIDDAT E GHAM KA MIRI KUCHH TUJH KO ANDAZA NAHIN
DIL SAY NIKLA ASHK AANKHON SAY AYAAN HONAY LAGA
Yeh sheAr bhii bahut hii khoob hei. Agar pahle misreA ke aakhiri hisseh meiN "kuch tujhko andaazah nahiN" kii bajaye agar yooN kahaa jaataa to behtar thaa (kuch tujh ko andaazah bhii hei !)
Waise her shayer kaa apnaa mizaaj houtaa hei. Is liye aapke misreA meiN tabdeeli kii koii zaroorat nahiN.
DAIKH TAIRAY GHAM NAY KIA KIA SHAKL KI HAY IKHTIYAR
AANKH SHOLA, SOCH PATTHAR, DIL DHUAAN HONAY LAGA
Yeh sheAr bhii laajavaab hei. Alfaz kaa ikhtiyaar her shakhs apne mizaaj se kartaa hei. Agar yeh sheAr meraa houtaa tou doosra misraA maiN kuch yooN kehtaa "Deedah shoAlah, zehn patthar, dil dhuaaN houne lagaa" taakeh poori ibaarat per houne lagaa kaa iTlaaq housake. Aapki ibaarat ghalaT nahiN hei.
AADAMI NAY KAR DIA HAY TANG HALQA ZEEST KA
ZARRA E NA CHEEZ BARH KAR AASMAAN HONAY LAGA
Waah, doosre misreA ko aap ne bahut hii achii taraH nibhaayaa hei. Bahut khoob.
RANG UN KAY CHEHRAY PE AATAY RAHAY JATAY RAHAY
AAKHI AAKHIR UN KO AHSAS E ZIYAAN HONAY LAGA
Yeh sheAr bhii theek hei.
AY WAQAR E GHAM YE TAIRI KHUSH NASEEBI HAY KE AB
APNAY GHAM KA UN KI MEHFIL MAIN BAYAAN HONAY LAGA
Bahut achcha maqTaA hei.
Aapki is khoobsoorat ghazal per khaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.