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Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:06 am
by Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
Shorakaa-e-Bazm

adaab

miSra-e-t^araH

a'jab t^urjah tamaashaa hai keh ro kar muskuraate haiN peh Ghazal pesh hai mulaaHiz^aa farmaaeN.

asha'aar kuchh is t^araH hone shuru' hue

"baHar aaee naee sab ahl-e-maHfil gungunaate haiN
shaguftah or HaseeN taHrees se maHfil sajaate haiN"

magar a'deemul furSatee ke sabab us nashist meiN mashq puraa nah ho sakaa or phir kuchh dinoN ke ba'd jab dobarah shuru' kiyaa to kuchh asha'aar yooN huwe jo aap sab kee naz^ar hai.

kalejah hai meraa Gham khaa ke ham GhazleN sunaate haiN
jinheN aHbaab sun kar ashk se daaman bhigaate haiN

sitam kar kar ke woh ilzaam mere sar lagaate haiN
:a'jab t^rfah tamashaa hai keh ro kar muskuraate haiN:

sajaa kar zulf z^aalim ham pah ab bijlee giraate haiN
kamar tak z^ulf kaise aaee hai yeh bhool jaate haiN

karamfarmaN kahaaN ham kuchh ghaTaate haiN baRhaate haiN
wahee ham mann-o-en kahte jo kuchh kahalwaate haiN

muHabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, dil joee, maseeHaee
yahee Saiqal dil-e-insaaN ko aaeenah banaate haiN

faqeeree mieN shahanshaahee kaa unko lut^f aataa hai
jo iHsaaN kar ke khalq-e-naatawaaN par bhool jaate haiN

unheN hee kah rahe haiN log deewaanah na jaane kyuN?
jo deewaanoN ke paaoN meiN ajee beRee lagaate haiN

khabar kyaa ho unheN kiyaa legayaa t^oofaan-e-maHroomee
jo ret-e-maSleHat meiN apnaa apnaa sar chupaate haiN

nah rakhiyo kuchh magar Gham rakhiyo dil meiN dard kuchh rakhiyo
keh :Naiyer: raah-e-ulfat meiN yahee sab kaam aate haiN

Shukriyah

Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
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Re: Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:09 am
by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
moHtaram K, H, Naiyyar SaaHib tasleemaat! :-)

Guzarish#43 ke liye aap ke asha'aar bilashubah aap ke pur aa'temaad lab-o-lehjah aor maoZ^ua'aatee tanawwu' ke aae'nah daar haiN. jis meN shaae'stagee-e-fan ke e'laawah hamhamah bhee hai. aap ne fanee iz^haar-o-ablaaGh ko apne asha'aar meN zindah rakhne kee koshish badastoor jaree rakhte huwe rawaayat kaa daman naheeN chuRaa. jo az khud qaabil-e-daad hai.


kalejah hai meraa Gham khaa ke ham GhazleN sunaate haiN
jinheN aHbaab sun kar ashk se daaman bhigaate haiN

maZ^moon achchaa hai lekin uopar kaa miSra' shutar gurbah kaa shikaar hogeya hai. aek hee miSra' meN :meraa: aor :ham: yeh durust naheeN. yeh Surat dekheeN

"kalejah hai keh Gham khaa kar bhee ham GhazleeN sunaate haiN

dusre miSra' meN :bhigaate: durust lafz^ naheeN. bhighote durust hai. lekin yeh qafiyah ke t^aor par istema'aal naheeN ho saktaa. ise badal kar dekh leeN.


sitam kar kar ke woh ilzaam mere sar lagaate haiN
:a'jab t^rfah tamashaa hai keh ro kar muskuraate haiN

pehlaa miSra' be beHer ho geya hai yeh Surt mulaHiZ^ah keejiye.

"sitam kar kar ke woh ilzaam sar mere lagate haiN"

sajaa kar zulf z^aalim ham pah ab bijlee giraate haiN
kamar tak z^ulf kaise aaee hai yeh bhool jaate haiN

waah!

karamfarmaN kahaaN ham kuchh ghaTaate haiN baRhaate haiN
wahee ham mann-o-en kahte jo kuchh kahalwaate haiN

donooN miSra' wazan meN naheeN aasake. dekh leejiye gaa.

muHabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, dil joee, maseeHaee
yahee Saiqal dil-e-insaaN ko aaeenah banaate haiN

pehlaa miSra'ke liye daad qubool keejiye. dusra miSra' wazan meN naheeN. dekh leejiye gaa.

faqeeree mieN shahanshaahee kaa unko lut^f aataa hai
jo iHsaaN kar ke khalq-e-naatawaaN par bhool jaate haiN

Bohot khoob Waah Waah Waah Kiya kehne lajaab she'er kaha hai dilee daad qubool keejiye Waah! intehaa kar dee hai aap ne.

unheN hee kah rahe haiN log deewaanah na jaane kyuN?
jo deewaanoN ke paaoN meiN ajee beRee lagaate haiN

achchaa kheyaal hai.

khabar kyaa ho unheN kiyaa legayaa t^oofaan-e-maHroomee
jo ret-e-maSleHat meiN apnaa apnaa sar chupaate haiN

Waah Waah!

nah rakhiyo kuchh magar Gham rakhiyo dil meiN dard kuchh rakhiyo
keh :Naiyer: raah-e-ulfat meiN yahee sab kaam aate haiN

Waah kiyaa baat hai.

is Ghazal par meree jaanib se dilee daad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye. mujhe ummeed hai keh aap isee t^arH apnee ra'naaee-e- kalam se mustafeed farmate raheeN ge.

khush raheeN
Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar


Re: Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 10:50 am
by Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
muHtaram Muzaffar Sb

adaab

bahut bahut shukriyah aap kee nawazish kaa. jin asha'aar par aapne tawajjoh farmaaya unke naee shakl yuN huee hai. moaqa' hoto dekhleN.

kalejah hai meraa Gham khaake bhee GhazleN sunaate haiN
jinheN aHbaab sunkar dil hi dil aaNsoo bahaate haiN

karamfarmaN kahaaN ham kuchh ghaTaate haiN baRhaate haiN
wahee ham mann-o-en kahte jo kuchh kahalwaate haiN

is ko yoN kardiyaa hai

meharbaaN ham nah ismeiN baRhaate haiN ghaTaate haiN
wahee kaGhaz pah likhte haiN ishaare jinke paate haiN

muHabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, dil joee, maseeHaee
yahee Saiqal dil-e-insaaN ko aaeenah banaate haiN

ise yun dekh lijye

muhabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, diljoee, maseeHaee
samaa-e-dil inheeN taaroN se Naiyer jhilmilaate hain

ummeed hai mizaajegiraamee bakhair hoNge. amade Ramz^aan kee mubaarak baad bhee qubool farmaeN.

Allah Hafiz^

Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer

Re: Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 2:43 pm
by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer wrote:muHtaram Muzaffar Sb

adaab

bahut bahut shukriyah aap kee nawazish kaa. jin asha'aar par aapne tawajjoh farmaaya unke naee shakl yuN huee hai. moaqa' hoto dekhleN.

kalejah hai meraa Gham khaake bhee GhazleN sunaate haiN
jinheN aHbaab sunkar dil hi dil aaNsoo bahaate haiN

karamfarmaN kahaaN ham kuchh ghaTaate haiN baRhaate haiN
wahee ham mann-o-en kahte jo kuchh kahalwaate haiN

is ko yoN kardiyaa hai

meharbaaN ham nah ismeiN baRhaate haiN ghaTaate haiN
wahee kaGhaz pah likhte haiN ishaare jinke paate haiN

muHabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, dil joee, maseeHaee
yahee Saiqal dil-e-insaaN ko aaeenah banaate haiN

ise yun dekh lijye

muhabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, diljoee, maseeHaee
samaa-e-dil inheeN taaroN se Naiyer jhilmilaate hain

ummeed hai mizaajegiraamee bakhair hoNge. amade Ramz^aan kee mubaarak baad bhee qubool farmaeN.

Allah Hafiz^

Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer

moHtaram K,H, Naiyyar SaaHib tasleemaat!

yaadaawaree ke liye mamnoonhooN. Ghazal kee nae'ee shakl achchee hai. lekin hanooz chand cheezeen qaabil-e-Ghaor reh gaeeN haiN. macalaal" aap farmate haiN.keh


kalejah hai meraa Gham khaake bhee GhazleN sunaate haiN
jinheN aHbaab sunkar dil hi dil aaNsoo bahaate haiN

is meN ya'nee aek miSra'e meN do SeGhe istema'aal kiye gae' haiN ya'nee aek SeeGhah-e-jama' aor dura SeeGhah-e-waaHid. jo durust naheeN. jabkeh miSra' SeeGhah-e-jama' kaa mutaqaaZ^ee hai. aor jo keh radeef se bhee z^aahir hai. ya'nee :haiN: is liye yeh she'er she'er shutargurbah kaa shikaar ho geyaa hai. aor dusre miSra' meN :dil hee dil: ke ba'd :meN: kee kamee shiddat se meHsoos ho rahee hai. agar aap :meN: likh deeN to wazan bigaR jaataa hai. is Surat meN kiyaa jaa saktaa hai.

"kalejah hai keh Gham khaa kar bhee ham GhazleeN sunaate hai
jinheeN eHbaab sun kar khun ke aaNsu bahate haiN
jinheeN eHbaab sun kar beHer-e-Gham meN Doob jaate haiN
jinheeN eHbaab sun kar fart^-e-Gham se GiRGiRaate haiN


karamfarmaN kahaaN ham kuchh ghaTaate haiN baRhaate haiN
wahee ham mann-o-en kahte jo kuchh kahalwaate haiN

is ko yoN kardiyaa hai

meharbaaN ham nah ismeiN baRhaate haiN ghaTaate haiN
wahee kaGhaz pah likhte haiN ishaare jinke paate haiN

ab kuch behtar ho geyaa hai lekin kuch lut^f aor shiddat se khaalee lad raha hai. sawaal pedah hotaa hai keh kesaa kaaGhaz aor kiyaa likhte haiN kiyaa ishare pate haiN yaa aesee ka'ee dusre sawaal aor pehlaa miSra' wazan meN bhee naheeN aasakaa khaer! yeh Surat bhee ho saktee hai.

kitaab-e-u'mr meN ham kab ghaTaaTe yaa baRhaate haiN?
wohee kaaGhaz peh likhte haiN sitam jo aap Dhaate haiN!

yaa

kitaab-e-Zeest meN kab apnee jaanib se baRhate haiN
wohee teHreer karte haiN jo manz^ar dekh paate haiN!

yaa

ham apnee laoH-e-hastee par wohee teHreer karte haiN
jo saaye aaNkh ke parde peh akcar jhilmilaate haiN

yaa

ham apnee laoH-e-hastee par zeyaadah kuch naheeN likhte
=================

muHabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, dil joee, maseeHaee
yahee Saiqal dil-e-insaaN ko aaeenah banaate haiN

ise yun dekh lijye

muhabbat, pyaar, ulfat, uns, diljoee, maseeHaee
samaa-e-dil inheeN taaroN se Naiyer jhilmilaate hain

yahaaN bhee wohee baat aagaeekeh :samaa: WaaHid hai ya'nee aek chez hai jis ke liye qaafiyah aor radeef yooN honaa chahiye thaa. keh :jhilmilaataa hai: jab aap haiN likhte haiN to muraad yeh hotee hai keh haiN se pehle jis baat yaa chez kaa zikr ho raha hai woh SeeGhah-e-jama' hai. aor dusree baat yeh keh taare jhilmilaate haiN :samaa: naheN. khaer! yeh Surat-e-miSra' dekheeN.

"yahee jazbe rah-e-ulfat meN :Naiyyar: kaam aate haiN"

yaa

yeh woh jazbe haiN Naiyyar jo hameshah kaam aate haiN.

yaa

yeh jazbe aadamee ko moa'tabar insaaN banate haiN

Wassalam

Re: Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:29 am
by Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
muHtaram Jb. Muzaffar Sb

adaab

aap kee i'naaytoN kaa bahut bahut shukriyah. aap ne bahut saara waqt mere she'roN kee iSlaaH ke liye diye or qeemte or purkhulooS raae se nawaazaa. Allah aap ko jazaae khair a't^aa farmaae.

ummeed hai mizaaje-egiraamee bakhair hoNge or ramz^aan kareem achhaa guzar rahaa hogaa.

aHqar

Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer

Re: Guzarish #43 ke liye meree koshish

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:05 pm
by munir-armaan-nasimi
Mohtaram Bhai K. H. Naiyer Saaheb,

Mujhe aapki Ghazal to pasand aayi magar yeh sher....

faqeeree mieN shahanshaahee kaa unko lut^f aataa hai
jo iHsaaN kar ke khalq-e-naatawaaN par bhool jaate haiN

Mere dil ko chooo gaya... meri samajh main aapki ghazal ka haasil-e-ghazal sher hai yeh....

Ek behtareen ghazal kehne aur humse share karne ke liye dheron DAAD pesh-e-khidmat hain Qobool farmaayein.

Munir Armaan