• aik ghazal

Posted: **Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:32 pm**

aadaab,

kuch arse kee ghair haaziri ke ba'd aik ghazal le kar mehfil meN haazir huyee hooN. umeed hai ke ghazal par aap dost apni baish qeemat raa'e kaa izhaar karne meN bukhl se kaam naheeN leN ge :)

1.
dadr.e.hijr peham dhaRkanoN meN bole
rooH kee shikastah kirchiyoN meN bole
2.
raat din musalsal paaniyoN meN bole
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
3.
sar.ph`iree havaa bhee faaSiloN meN bole
meree be.basee kee HairatoN meN bole
4.
kyaa gulaab.e.taazah, kyaa khumaar.e.qurbat
bas HiSaar.e.vehshat sab rutoN meN bole
5.
saaNs se ulajh kar, rooH meN utar kar
aik dasht.e.khavaahish HasratoN meN bole
6.
dhiyaan se kabhee sun, ghaur se kabhee deikh
uss jamood ko tuu jo ragoN meN bole
7.
phir ulajh rahaa hai faiSaloN kaa resham
phir gumaaN yaqeeN ke raastoN meN bole
8.
zakhm dil ke saare bujh gaYe haiN lekin
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
9.
aaYo phir se hum tum ziNdagee ko DhooNDeN
ziNdagee jo pal pal dhaRkanoN meN bole

(qita')

roahani ye kis kee khiRkiyoN meN bole
kon hai jo har pal aahaToN meN bole

khavaab ug rahe haiN kis ke mere aNdar
kon hai jo saare mosamoN meN bole

kis kee aahaToN se jagmagaa uthee hooN
kis kaa aks mere aayinoN meN bole

kis ke daikhne se ruk rahi haiN saaNseN
kis nazar kee khushboo gesooyoN meN bole

khalvatoN kee komal saa'atoN meN bole
voh samaa'toN meN, aahaToN meN bole

khavaab, raNg, khushboo, noor meN voh Dhal kar
mere dhiyaan ke sab raasitoN meN bole
--------------------------------------

shukriya
Naheed

Posted: **Wed Mar 30, 2005 7:22 am**

Naheed saHiba:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ye ghazal abhi abhi nazar navaaz hui :)

mere nazdeek ye zameen itni zarkheiz nahiN hai, magar aap ne bahot umda ash'aar kahe haiN. aap yaqeenan daad aur mubarak.baad ki mustaHiq haiN

meri jaanib se DheiroN daad qubool kijiye

amjad

Posted: **Wed Mar 30, 2005 11:41 am**

MuHtaramah
Naheed V. Saahibah

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

Mandarja-e-zel sheAir ke pahle misreA meiN lafz dekh kaa Harf "kaaf" girrahaa hei jiskaa ilaaj zaroori hei.

(((6.
dhiyaan se kabhee sun, ghaur se kabhee deikh
uss jamood ko tuu jo ragoN meN bole )))

Agar aap chaaheN tou aapko ikhtiyaar hei ke meri raaye ko rad kardeN.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Posted: **Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:38 am**

Ibn-e-siddique wrote:Naheed saHiba:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ye ghazal abhi abhi nazar navaaz hui :)

mere nazdeek ye zameen itni zarkheiz nahiN hai, magar aap ne bahot umda ash'aar kahe haiN. aap yaqeenan daad aur mubarak.baad ki mustaHiq haiN

meri jaanib se DheiroN daad qubool kijiye

amjad

janaab Amjad ji,

yaad aavaree ke liye bohat shukriya! aur ghazal pasaNd karne kaa az.had shukriya! :)
iss ghazal kee zameen itnee banjar bhee naheeN hai varna meree soch ke phool tau kabhee bhee na khil paate iss zameen meN ke maiN Tehree aik kaam/mehnat chor :)

ghazal kee pasaNdeedagee ke liye mamnoon hooN.

mukhlis
Naheed

Posted: **Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:42 am**

Abdullah Nazir wrote:
MuHtaramah
Naheed V. Saahibah

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

Mandarja-e-zel sheAir ke pahle misreA meiN lafz dekh kaa Harf "kaaf" girrahaa hei jiskaa ilaaj zaroori hei.

(((6.
dhiyaan se kabhee sun, ghaur se kabhee deikh
uss jamood ko tuu jo ragoN meN bole )))

Agar aap chaaheN tou aapko ikhtiyaar hei ke meri raaye ko rad kardeN.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

mohtaram janaab Nazir saahab,
aadaab

aap kee tavajjoh ke liye mamnoon hooN aur hoslah afzaayee ke liye buhat shukriya!

haaN, mujhye iss baat kaa idraak hai ke mandarja baala she'r meN :diekh: kee :kaaf: gir rahi hai, kyaa iss behr meN ye ravaa ho saktaa hai?

buhat shukriya!
Naheed

Posted: **Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:12 pm**

naheedv wrote:aadaab,

kuch arse kee ghair haaziri ke ba'd aik ghazal le kar mehfil meN haazir huyee hooN. umeed hai ke ghazal par aap dost apni baish qeemat raa'e kaa izhaar karne meN bukhl se kaam naheeN leN ge :)

1.
dadr.e.hijr peham dhaRkanoN meN bole
rooH kee shikastah kirchiyoN meN bole
2.
raat din musalsal paaniyoN meN bole
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
3.
sar.ph`iree havaa bhee faaSiloN meN bole
meree be.basee kee HairatoN meN bole
4.
kyaa gulaab.e.taazah, kyaa khumaar.e.qurbat
bas HiSaar.e.vehshat sab rutoN meN bole
5.
saaNs se ulajh kar, rooH meN utar kar
aik dasht.e.khavaahish HasratoN meN bole
6.
dhiyaan se kabhee sun, ghaur se kabhee deikh
uss jamood ko tuu jo ragoN meN bole
7.
phir ulajh rahaa hai faiSaloN kaa resham
phir gumaaN yaqeeN ke raastoN meN bole
8.
zakhm dil ke saare bujh gaYe haiN lekin
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
9.
aaYo phir se hum tum ziNdagee ko DhooNDeN
ziNdagee jo pal pal dhaRkanoN meN bole

(qita')

roahani ye kis kee khiRkiyoN meN bole
kon hai jo har pal aahaToN meN bole

khavaab ug rahe haiN kis ke mere aNdar
kon hai jo saare mosamoN meN bole

kis kee aahaToN se jagmagaa uthee hooN
kis kaa aks mere aayinoN meN bole

kis ke daikhne se ruk rahi haiN saaNseN
kis nazar kee khushboo gesooyoN meN bole

khalvatoN kee komal saa'atoN meN bole
voh samaa'toN meN, aahaToN meN bole

khavaab, raNg, khushboo, noor meN voh Dhal kar
mere dhiyaan ke sab raasitoN meN bole
--------------------------------------

shukriya
Naheed

Mohtarma Naheed saheba aap ki ghazal parh kar buhat lutf aaya sub say pehlay tu ghazal ki zameen hi buhat minfarid hai aur us par ashaa'r ki taaza khayali aur khush bayani. Meri buhat daad qabool kijiyay.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:45 pm**

naheedv wrote:aadaab,

kuch arse kee ghair haaziri ke ba'd aik ghazal le kar mehfil meN haazir huyee hooN. umeed hai ke ghazal par aap dost apni baish qeemat raa'e kaa izhaar karne meN bukhl se kaam naheeN leN ge :)

1.
dadr.e.hijr peham dhaRkanoN meN bole
rooH kee shikastah kirchiyoN meN bole
2.
raat din musalsal paaniyoN meN bole
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
3.
sar.ph`iree havaa bhee faaSiloN meN bole
meree be.basee kee HairatoN meN bole
4.
kyaa gulaab.e.taazah, kyaa khumaar.e.qurbat
bas HiSaar.e.vehshat sab rutoN meN bole
5.
saaNs se ulajh kar, rooH meN utar kar
aik dasht.e.khavaahish HasratoN meN bole
6.
dhiyaan se kabhee sun, ghaur se kabhee deikh
uss jamood ko tuu jo ragoN meN bole
7.
phir ulajh rahaa hai faiSaloN kaa resham
phir gumaaN yaqeeN ke raastoN meN bole
8.
zakhm dil ke saare bujh gaYe haiN lekin
koyee hai jo ab bhee aaNsooyoN meN bole
9.
aaYo phir se hum tum ziNdagee ko DhooNDeN
ziNdagee jo pal pal dhaRkanoN meN bole

(qita')

roahani ye kis kee khiRkiyoN meN bole
kon hai jo har pal aahaToN meN bole

khavaab ug rahe haiN kis ke mere aNdar
kon hai jo saare mosamoN meN bole

kis kee aahaToN se jagmagaa uthee hooN
kis kaa aks mere aayinoN meN bole

kis ke daikhne se ruk rahi haiN saaNseN
kis nazar kee khushboo gesooyoN meN bole

khalvatoN kee komal saa'atoN meN bole
voh samaa'toN meN, aahaToN meN bole

khavaab, raNg, khushboo, noor meN voh Dhal kar
mere dhiyaan ke sab raasitoN meN bole
--------------------------------------

shukriya
Naheed

Naheed ji adaab (bahut khoob bole)
aapki taza ghazal parhi , aapke quwwat e izhaar aur shayeri ka ham to mutarif the hi ab aapki ustadaana shan ke bhi mutarif hona parha. bahut lutf aaya aapki is nigarish ko parhkar, dili mubarakbad aur daad pesh e khidmat hai.
sarfaraz

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:23 pm**

Mohtarma Naheed saheba aap ki ghazal parh kar buhat lutf aaya sub say pehlay tu ghazal ki zameen hi buhat minfarid hai aur us par ashaa'r ki taaza khayali aur khush bayani. Meri buhat daad qabool kijiyay.

janaab Anis saahab, aadaab!

aap kee tavajjoh ke liye mamnoon hooN aur ghazal pasaNd karne kaa be.had shukriya! umeed hai aaindah bhee aap kee himmat afzaayee miltee rahe gee.

mukhlis
Naheed

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:29 pm**

sarfaraz wrote:
Naheed ji adaab (bahut khoob bole)
aapki taza ghazal parhi , aapke quwwat e izhaar aur shayeri ka ham to mutarif the hi ab aapki ustadaana shan ke bhi mutarif hona parha. bahut lutf aaya aapki is nigarish ko parhkar, dili mubarakbad aur daad pesh e khidmat hai.
sarfaraz

janaab Sarfaraz saahab,
salaam!

mujhe khushee huee ke aap ko ghazal pasaNd aayee hai.
janaab shaa'ree ke safar meN abhi tau hum ne pehlaa qadam hee uThaayaa hai aur donoN peroN se chalne meN abhee aik arsah darkaar hai. aise meN jo thoRaa buhat likh letee hooN, paish kar detee hooN, uss meN ustaadaanah kamaal tau kuch bhee naheeN hai :)
ghazal pasaNd karne kaa be had shukriya!

mukhlis
Naheed

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2005 2:27 pm**

Naheed SaaHebah: aadaab!

maashaa-Allah! Ghazal kee zameen aur maZ^aameen dekh` kar dilee masarrat huyee. Ghazal meN jo dard hai us kaa bayaan aap ne dilkashee se kiyaa hai aur mataanat kaa daaman haath` se naheeN jaane diyaa hai. shaabaash! meree daad (jaisee bh`ee hai!) qubool keejiYe. aur Khush rahiYe.

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

Posted: **Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:56 am**

MuHtaramah
Naheed V. Saahibah,

Lafz dekh ke baare meiN aap ne likhkha hei:

aap kee tavajjoh ke liye mamnoon hooN aur hoslah afzaayee ke liye buhat shukriya!

haaN, mujhye iss baat kaa idraak hai ke mandarja baala she'r meN :diekh: kee :kaaf: gir rahi hai, kyaa iss behr meN ye ravaa ho saktaa hai?

buhat shukriya!
Naheed

Ittifaaq se meri nazar is per bahut der se paRii. Is liye Arz karnaa chaahtaa hooN ke is beHr meiN lafz dekh kaa tou javaz hei lekin masa'lah kuch aur hei jiski vazaaHat kiye detaa hooN:

Arooz kaa qaaAidah yeh hei ke agar teen Harf aek saath saakin aajaayeN tou un meiN ke aakhiri saakin Harf ko giraadiyaa jaasaktaa hei. Aapke paas Harf "daikh" meiN aakhiri Harf hei "hey" jisko ham girarahe heiN. Baaqi reh gaye 2 saakin Harf. Aek "ye" aur doosra "kaaf" jin kaa talaffuz adaa hounaa zaroori hei yaa doosre alfaaz meiN girnaa jaayiz nahiN.
Isi iAtibaar se maiN ne kahaa ke Harf "kaaf" girrahaa hei aur yeh nahiN likhkha ke 2 Harf "kaaf aur hey" girrahe heiN.

Is tashreeH ke bad bhii mujhe koii iSraar nahiN ke aap us lafz ko badal deN kiyooNkeh ghazal aapki hei aur aapko ikhtiyaar hei ke jis Haalat meiN chaaheN pesh kareN. Shukriyah.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:27 pm**

sara_j wrote:Wow ! Naheed ji,

salaam.

bohat din baad idhar aana hua , bas samjhiye ke zindgai ki raftaar kuch itni taiz hogayi hai ke bari mushkil se waqt nakaal paati hoon. aur main tou chouta munh bari baat.....yehaan tou saahib-e-ilm sab ne aapki taeed kiye hain lekin mujhe karna hi hai so haazir!

bohat khoobsurat kalaam aur bohat ehsaasat se bharpoor. waah! ye dard ye soz-e-jigar...........bohat khoob!

"saans se ulajh ker rooh mein utar kar
aek dasht-e-khwahish hasraton mein bole"

lajawaab! bohat khoob!

dhair saari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.

sara

Dear Sara ji,

aap ne ghazal kee kubhat khoobsoorat aNdaaz meN ta'reef kar ke mujhe ehsaan maNd kar diyaa hai aur mere paas alfaaz naheeN ke aap kaa shukriya adaa kar sakooN. phir bhee mamnoon hooN ke aap ne ghazal pasaNd kee.

mukhliS
Naheed

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:33 pm**

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramah
Naheed V. Saahibah,

Lafz dekh ke baare meiN aap ne likhkha hei:

aap kee tavajjoh ke liye mamnoon hooN aur hoslah afzaayee ke liye buhat shukriya!

haaN, mujhye iss baat kaa idraak hai ke mandarja baala she'r meN :diekh: kee :kaaf: gir rahi hai, kyaa iss behr meN ye ravaa ho saktaa hai?

buhat shukriya!
Naheed

Ittifaaq se meri nazar is per bahut der se paRii. Is liye Arz karnaa chaahtaa hooN ke is beHr meiN lafz dekh kaa tou javaz hei lekin masa'lah kuch aur hei jiski vazaaHat kiye detaa hooN:

Arooz kaa qaaAidah yeh hei ke agar teen Harf aek saath saakin aajaayeN tou un meiN ke aakhiri saakin Harf ko giraadiyaa jaasaktaa hei. Aapke paas Harf "daikh" meiN aakhiri Harf hei "hey" jisko ham girarahe heiN. Baaqi reh gaye 2 saakin Harf. Aek "ye" aur doosra "kaaf" jin kaa talaffuz adaa hounaa zaroori hei yaa doosre alfaaz meiN girnaa jaayiz nahiN.
Isi iAtibaar se maiN ne kahaa ke Harf "kaaf" girrahaa hei aur yeh nahiN likhkha ke 2 Harf "kaaf aur hey" girrahe heiN.

Is tashreeH ke bad bhii mujhe koii iSraar nahiN ke aap us lafz ko badal deN kiyooNkeh ghazal aapki hei aur aapko ikhtiyaar hei ke jis Haalat meiN chaaheN pesh kareN. Shukriyah.

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Mohtaram janaab Nazir saahab, aadaab,

aap ke tafseeli jawaab kaa be. had shukriya!
aap kee baat meree samajh meN aa ga'ee hai lekin jo mujhey "uljhan" ho rahee hai voh ye hai ke :deikh: kee "hey" :kaaf: ke saath adaa ho rahi hai, aur voh alag se paRhne meN naheeN aatee hai, iss liye maiN isey aik lafz hee gin rahee thee aur isee liye yahi samjhaa ke iss ko giraayaa jaa saktaa hai.

maiN mazeed diekhtee hooN ke agar mujhe iss kee ijaazat mil saktee hai yaa naheeN.

aap ke jawaab kaa aik baar phir shukriy!

mukhlis
Naheed

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:10 pm**

MuHtaramah
Naheed V. Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapka shukriyah jo aap ne likhkhaa hei:

(((aap ke tafseeli jawaab kaa be. had shukriya!
aap kee baat meree samajh meN aa ga'ee hai lekin jo mujhey "uljhan" ho rahee hai voh ye hai ke :deikh: kee "hey" :kaaf: ke saath adaa ho rahi hai, aur voh alag se paRhne meN naheeN aatee hai, iss liye maiN isey aik lafz hee gin rahee thee aur isee liye yahi samjhaa ke iss ko giraayaa jaa saktaa hai.

maiN mazeed diekhtee hooN ke agar mujhe iss kee ijaazat mil saktee hai yaa naheeN. )))

Naheed Saahibah, dekhiye aap ne mujhe mazeed tashreeH karne kii raghbat dilaayhi hei. Is liye maiN Haazir hougayaa hooN.

Ab aap mandarja-e-zel 2 qaaAidaoN per ghaur keejiye:
1) Agar teen Harf saakin houN tou aakhiri harf ko giraayaa jaasaktaa hei . Yeh sach hei ke harf do chashmi hey us se maa qabl ke saath paRhaa jaataa hei jaise kuch meiN =/0. lekin Sauti Taur per dekh meiN agar ham dochashmi ko giraadeN tou hamare baas vazn ke liHaaz se teen harf bach rahe heiN jin meiN 2 saakin bach gaye heiN. Ab mazeed ghaur keejiye.
2) Agar do saakin harf aek saath aayen tou Arooz kaa qaaAidah badal jaataa hei. Wo qaaAidah yeh hei ke doosre saakin ko mutaHarrik kardiyaa jaataa hei. yani macalan dek ko dek+zabar.

Aapki ghazal meiN dek+zabar kii bilkul gunjaayish nahiN hei. Sirf 2 harf adaa hourahe heiN "daal"+"yeh" yani de aur kaaf kii aavaaz bilkul adaa nahiN hou paarahi hei.

In Aroozi usoolaoN se haTkar, agar aapki nazar meiN koii khaas qaaAidah hei tou muTTalaA farmaayiye. Meri maAloomaat meiN izaafah hougaa. Shukriyah.

Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.

aik ghazal

aik ghazal

Bahut Khoob

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Aapki ghazal meiN lafz "dekh" se harf kaaf kaa gir

Re: Aapki ghazal meiN lafz "dekh" se harf kaaf kaa

Shukriyah