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ham par khudsari ka ilzaam hi to hai (barai Islah)
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:35 am
by zmufti
Faiz sahib ki aik ghazal hai
“hum par teri chah ka ilzam hi to hai”
Is zameen main kuch likhnay ki koshish ki hai aap ki aara ka intizaar rahey ga
zmufti
Hum par khudsari ka ilzam hi to hay
Hum hein sarkash yeh dashnam hi to hai
Tujhe papand-e-wafa Karen to kaisay
Hamari har koshish bas nakaam hi to hai
Hum nay kab chaha apni wafa ka sila
Yeh tera intizaar eik inaam hi to hai
Wusaat-e-dil ko barhayein to kislye
Dil mein basa tera ik naam hi to hai
Apney paraye rehtay hain sab hi barham
Ham say khafa gardish-I-ayam hi to hai
Talkh-I-kalam ki lagi Tuhamat ham par
Jo kehta hai Sach Badnaam hi to hai
Kaya nikalna in deewaron se bahar
Is hisaar mein hamein Aaram hi to hai
Shor-e-mehshar hai ya zindagi ka shor
Zindagi hai kaya ik hangam hi to hai
Re: ham par khudsari ka ilzaam hi to hai (barai Islah)
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:02 am
by Mahtab Qadr
zmufti wrote:Faiz sahib ki aik ghazal hai
“hum par teri chah ka ilzam hi to hai”
Is zameen main kuch likhnay ki koshish ki hai aap ki aara ka intizaar rahey ga
zmufti
Hum par khudsari ka ilzam hi to hay
Hum hein sarkash yeh dashnam hi to hai
Tujhe papand-e-wafa Karen to kaisay
Hamari har koshish bas nakaam hi to hai
Hum nay kab chaha apni wafa ka sila
Yeh tera intizaar eik inaam hi to hai
Wusaat-e-dil ko barhayein to kislye
Dil mein basa tera ik naam hi to hai
Apney paraye rehtay hain sab hi barham
Ham say khafa gardish-I-ayam hi to hai
Talkh-I-kalam ki lagi Tuhamat ham par
Jo kehta hai Sach Badnaam hi to hai
Kaya nikalna in deewaron se bahar
Is hisaar mein hamein Aaram hi to hai
Shor-e-mehshar hai ya zindagi ka shor
Zindagi hai kaya ik hangam hi to hai
zmufti ji behad khoobsurat koshish hai, Allah kare zoor e qalam aur ziadaa, isi tarah apni nigarishaat se nawaazti rahiye.
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Aapki kaavish achchi hei
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:53 am
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaramah
zmufti Saahibah
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapke kalaam meiN khayalaat bahut achche heiN lekin shayeri kii bunyaadi zaroorat hei beHr yani ashAar ka vazn jo aapke paas fiTri Taur per maujood nahiN hei. Ba'z loag auzan seekhkar bhii kuch kehne ke qaabil houjaate heiN.
Aapke liye 2 raaste heiN:
1-Shear vazn meiN kehnaa seekheN jiske liye kaafi meHnat darkaar hei.
2-Bajaye shaayeri ke Afsaanah naveesi aur mazmoon nigaari kii Taraf tavajjuh deN jin meiN aap aasani se kamaal haasil karsakti heiN kiyooNkeh aapki fikr ziyaadah tar isi taraf maayil hei.
Baharhaal aapki is ghazal ko maiN ne beHr meiN laane kii koushish kii hei is baat ko nazar meiN rakhte houe keh:
a) aapke mazaameen ko hattal-imakan jaise ke waise rakhkhooN.
b) Aapke ziyaadah se ziyaadah alfaz isteAmal housakeN aur bahut kam tabdeeli hou.
c) Shaaz o naadir bahut ziyaadah tabdeeli laazim hougaii hei.
Ab aapki ghazal ke ashAar maiN ne baghair numbers ke chouRdiye heiN aur islaah shudah ashAar ko 1 se 8 tak numbers lagaadiye heiN.
Hum par khudsari ka ilzam hi to hay
Hum hein sarkash yeh dashnam hi to hai
1-be-vajh khudsarii ka wo ilzaam hii tou hei
ham sarkashi pasand heiN, dushnam hii tou hei
Tujhe papand-e-wafa Karen to kaisay
Hamari har koshish bas nakaam hi to hai
2-Tujh se kareN wafa ka taqaaZaa tou kisTarah
qismat meiN sirf koushish-e-naakaam hii tou hei
Hum nay kab chaha apni wafa ka sila
Yeh tera intizaar eik inaam hi to hai
3-Apni wafaa kaa ham ne silah kab Talab kiyaa
yeh karb-e-intizaar bhii inaam hii tou hei
Wusaat-e-dil ko barhayein to kislye
Dil mein basa tera ik naam hi to hai
4-mujhko talaash-e-wusAat-e-kaun o makaaN nahiN
aiy doust mere dil meiN tiraa naam hii tou hei
Apney paraye rehtay hain sab hi barham
Ham say khafa gardish-I-ayam hi to hai
5-ghairaoN se koii shikwah nah apnaoN se kuch gila
barham mizaaj-e-gardish-e-ayyaam hii tou hei
Talkh-I-kalam ki lagi Tuhamat ham par
Jo kehta hai Sach Badnaam hi to hai
6-jiski zubaaN se door rahii hou munaafiqat
wo sidq-gouii ke liye badnaam hii tou hei
Kaya nikalna in deewaron se bahar
Is hisaar mein hamein Aaram hi to hai
7-Fikr-e-rihaayii hei na hii manzil kii justajoo
kunj-e-qafas meiN bhi hameN aaram hii tou hei
Shor-e-mehshar hai ya zindagi ka shor
Zindagi hai kaya ik hangam hi to hai
8-dunyaa bajuz saraaye nahiN aur koii sha'y
insaaN micaal-e-shmA-e-sar-e-shaam hii tou hei.
===== End.
Ummeed ke yeh islaaH aapko pasand aayegi aur aap mere mashwiraoN per ghaur farmayengii.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 2:09 pm
by najma
zmufti sahib!
bohat khoob khayalaat haiN.janab nazir sahob se maiN bhi muttafiq hooN.
aap zara mehnat se auzan par qaadir ho sakengay.agar esa karleN to bohat khushii hogii.
ham to chahte haiN keh is sinf meiN ziyada se ziyada qalam uThaey jaeiN.ham abhi tifl-e-maktab hi to haiN.
khayal bohat pasand aey.aapki kaawish par daad haazir hay.
qubool kijiye
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:57 pm
by zmufti
Mohtaram Abdullah Nazir sahib,
Tasleemat,
Aap ki Islah ka buhat shukria. Aap ke mushwarey ka bhi buhat shukria. Mein aaj kal auzan kay barey mein aap kay aur sarwar saheb kay mazmeen dekh rahi hoon koshish kar rahi hon keh kuch behtari aa jaye.Taham agar aisa na ho saka to nasar ki taraf tawajah doon gi. Agar bura na manain to Islah kay waqt sirf aik sher ki taqtee kar diya kijye aur bahr ka naam bhi bata diya kijye. (If I am not asking too much?)
dua go
zarqa
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:59 pm
by zmufti
Mahtab Qadar sahib
Aap ka be had shukria
Najma ji
Aap ka bhi behad shukria
dua go
zarqa
Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 5:47 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
zarqa saHiba:
salaam arz hai
aap ki ye kaawish maine abhi abhi dekhi.
janaab-e-nazir saHib ne bahot umda tabsira kia, aur ash'aar ki islaaH bhi farmaaii.
meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai, qubool keejiye
aur isi taraH mashq-e-sukhan jaari rakheN
amjad
Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 7:26 am
by zmufti
Amjad sahib
Aap ka shukria.
Behr
Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:30 pm
by Abdullah Nazir
MuHtaramah
zmufti Saahibah,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapke kalaam kaa maTlaA islaaH ke ba'd maiN ne yooN likhkhaa hei:
1-be-vajh khudsarii ka wo ilzaam hii tou hei
ham sarkashi pasand heiN, dushnam hii tou hei
Iskii beHr kehlaati hei MuZaariA Akhrab Makfoof Maqsoor MeHzoof. Is kaa vazn hei:
Maf'oo'lu.....faa'ilaatu.....mafaa'ee'lu.....faa'i'lun
=/0/0/...../0//0/.....//0/0/....../0//0
=221.......2121.......1221.....212
Aapke mazkoora-e-baalaa sheAr kii taqTeeA yooN hougi:
MisraA a)
be'vajh = maf'oo'llu
khudsari'k=faa'i'laatu
w'ilzaam = mafaa'ee'lu
hi't'hei = faa'i'lun
MisraA b)
ham'sar'k = maf'oo'lu
shi'pasand=faa'i'laa'tu
h'dushnaam=mafaa'ee'lu
hi't'hei = faa'i'lun
======
Arooz ke mubtadi Taalib-e-Ilm ke liye Maulaanaa AbdulHaq kii kitaab
"Qawaa'id-e-Urdu" bahut mufeed hei jis meiN urdu qawaaid ke bhii bahut saare qaaAide bayaan kiye gaye hei. Waise yeh kitaab bahut hii sastii bhii hei.
Ummeed ke aap ko tashaffi bakhsh javaab de sakaa.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:45 am
by zmufti
Mohtaram Nazir sahib
Tasleemat
Aap Kay jawab Kay liye az had mamnoon hon umeed hay ayinda bhi rahnumai farmatey rahen gay
allah hafiz
dua go
zarqa
Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:59 am
by khurram_shaikh
Assalaam o alekum,
Zarqa sahiba ek achchi koooshish hai aapki aapki kavish humien pasand aayi humse share kernien kaa shukriaa daad qabool karien khush rahien
Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:01 pm
by zmufti
Khurram sahib
Aap ka behad shukria
dua go
zarqa