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ulfat

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 5:20 pm
by tahira Masood
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aoa

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 5:40 pm
by Dawood_Rizwan
tahira g adab
aap ki ghazal paRhi achi lagi. doo aik chhooTi chhooTii batooN par ghoor farma lain

teesray sher main lafz diwanay ki imla "ya" kay baghair hoo gi

us say aglay sher ka pehlay misray main aap nay " kah" koo doo rukni bandha hay joo beherhal darurst nahi go kah kafi loog aisa kar jatay hain. agar aap is suqam koo door kar lain too ziada munasib bat hoo gi

mukhlis
rizwan

Re: aoa

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:00 pm
by tahira Masood
Dawood_Rizwan wrote:tahira g adab
aap ki ghazal paRhi achi lagi. doo aik chhooTi chhooTii batooN par ghoor farma lain

teesray sher main lafz diwanay ki imla "ya" kay baghair hoo gi

us say aglay sher ka pehlay misray main aap nay " kah" koo doo rukni bandha hay joo beherhal darurst nahi go kah kafi loog aisa kar jatay hain. agar aap is suqam koo door kar lain too ziada munasib bat hoo gi

mukhlis
rizwan
moHteram Dawood ji :rose

salaam

ghazal pasand kerne ka bohat bohat shukeriyah

aur munaaasib tajaaveez dene k liay bhi mamnoon hoN.

khush rehiay.

wasalam

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 9:45 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Tahira saHiba:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ghazal dekh ker khushi hui. ache mazaameen nikaale hain aap ne .
teri ulfat ka yaqeen aata naheeN
daagh jo dil par laga hai jaata naheeN
matla acha hai, magar doosra misra beHr se kharij ho rahaa hai, aap yooN kar lijiye :

daagh jo dil per hai voh jaata nahiN


teri chaahat rach gaii hai rooH meiN
koii bhi tum bin hameN bhata naheeN
khoob kahaa, bas aik aham baat ki taraf tavajjoh dilaana chaahooN ga ke , pehle mein "teri" aur doosre meiN "tum" shutur.gurbah paida kar rahaa hai. ye shaa'iree mein aib samjha jaata hai, is liye aap doosre misre ko yooN kar deN :

bin tire koii hameN bhaata nahiN

raag ulfat ka baRa dil.soz hai
juz deewane ke koii gata naheeN
khoob kahaa, acha she'r hai,
deevaane = divaane

ham to keh dete haiN seedhi baat hi
TeRhii baatoN ka hunar aata naheeN

dekh kar dasht-e-junooN ke daam bhi
paaoN ka shoq-e-safar jaata naheeN
ye dono ashaar bhi pasand aaye, meri jaanib se daad qubool kijiye, aur isi taraH apni ghazal hameN sunaati raheN :)

amjad

Re: aoa

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 10:01 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Dawood_Rizwan wrote:
us say aglay sher ka pehlay misray main aap nay " kah" koo doo rukni bandha hay joo beherhal darurst nahi go kah kafi loog aisa kar jatay hain. agar aap is suqam koo door kar lain too ziada munasib bat hoo gi

mukhlis
rizwan
mohtaram rizwan saHib

salaam arz hai

taahira saHiba ne yooN to she'r edit kar diya hai, magar yahaaN jo "kah" unhoN ne iste'maal kia hai, wo 2 ke vazn per bhi durust hai, ye "kah" kehne se hai, aur is ka vazn aam taur per 2 ke vazn per hi baandha jaata hai.

agar maiN ghalat hooN to mujhe zaroor bataaiye

amjad

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:00 pm
by najma
tahira sahiba
pasand aaee apki kawish.
amjad ki rraey se maiN bhi muttafiq hooN.
daad qubool kijiye
:-)