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Ghazal: "ai dost! jo tuu ..."

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:24 pm
by irfan abid
aadaab, dosto!

ek haaliya Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apnii raae se navaaziye.

Ghazal

ai dost! jo tuu misl-e-rag-e-jaaN nahiiN hotaa
to hijr tiraa baais-e-hirmaaN nahiiN hotaa

jo raah-e-muhabbat pe chalaa, faKhr-e-jahaaN hai
sholoN se guzarnaa koii aasaaN nahiiN hotaa

sochaa to kayii baar, bhulaa duuN tujhe lekin
ye kaam kisii taur, mirii jaaN! nahiiN hotaa

jal uThte haiN aaNkhoN ke diye yaad se terii
vaise to kabhii ghar meN chiraaGhaaN nahiiN hotaa

ham lutf se tanhaayii ke mahruum hii rahte
qismat meN agar apnii biyaabaaN nahiiN hotaa

be.suud hai tadbeer-e-ilaaj-e-Gham-e-ulfat
is rog kaa, ai dil! koii darmaaN nahiiN hotaa

dekhe haiN bahut aaj kii dunyaa ke tamaashe
ab zahn kisii baat pe hairaaN nahiiN hotaa

har dil meN Khudaa ho ye zaruurii nahiiN :Abid:
har sajda.guzaar asl musalmaaN nahiiN hotaa

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:14 am
by Ibn-e-siddique
Irfan bhai:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ye taaza ba.taaza, nau.ba.nau ghazal hameN be.Had pasand aayee

jo raah-e-muhabbat pe chalaa, faKhr-e-jahaaN hai
sholoN se guzarnaa koii aasaaN nahiiN hotaa

sochaa to kayii baar, bhulaa duuN tujhe lekin
ye kaam kisii taur, mirii jaaN! nahiiN hotaa

jal uThte haiN aaNkhoN ke diye yaad se terii
vaise to kabhii ghar meN chiraaGhaaN nahiiN hotaa


khoob kahaa, in ash'ar per daad qubool kijiye

ham lutf se tanhaayii ke mahruum hii rahte
qismat meN agar apnii biyaabaaN nahiiN hotaa


is she'r ka khayaal bhi bahot acha hai, bas mujhe "lutf se tanhaayii ke" meiN kuch taaqeed nazar aa rahi hai, agar yooN hota to :

tanhaayee ke ham lutf se meHroom hi rehte

ye meri zaati raaye hai jo yaqeenan g halati bhi ho sakti hai, varna aap ka her she'r vaise bhi bahot umda hai. ye she'r bhi bahot pasand aaya:

dekhe haiN bahut aaj kii dunyaa kii tamaashe
ab zahn kisii baat pe hairaaN nahiiN hotaa


bahot khoob, aik umda ghazal per meri jaanib se daad qubool kijiye :)

amjad

Re: Ghazal: "ai dost! jo tuu ..."

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:45 pm
by naheedv
irfan abid wrote:aadaab, dosto!

ek haaliya Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apnii raae se navaaziye.

Ghazal

ai dost! jo tuu misl-e-rag-e-jaaN nahiiN hotaa
to hijr tiraa baais-e-hirmaaN nahiiN hotaa

jo raah-e-muhabbat pe chalaa, faKhr-e-jahaaN hai
sholoN se guzarnaa koii aasaaN nahiiN hotaa

sochaa to kayii baar, bhulaa duuN tujhe lekin
ye kaam kisii taur, mirii jaaN! nahiiN hotaa

jal uThte haiN aaNkhoN ke diye yaad se terii
vaise to kabhii ghar meN chiraaGhaaN nahiiN hotaa

ham lutf se tanhaayii ke mahruum hii rahte
qismat meN agar apnii biyaabaaN nahiiN hotaa

be.suud hai tadbeer-e-ilaaj-e-Gham-e-ulfat
is rog kaa, ai dil! koii darmaaN nahiiN hotaa

dekhe haiN bahut aaj kii dunyaa kii tamaashe
ab zahn kisii baat pe hairaaN nahiiN hotaa

har dil meN Khudaa ho ye zaruurii nahiiN :Abid:
har sajda ba.sar shaKhs musalmaaN nahiiN hotaa

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
janaab Irfan ji, salaams

aap kee ye nayee ghazal aap ke guzashta kalaam se qadre mukhtalif paayaa ke iss meN dunyaa kee be.cabaati kaa zikr tau hai hee magar gham.e.jaanaaN kee aamezish bhee milee. :)

ghazal pasaNd aayee, daad qubool kijiye!

mukhlis
Naheed

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:25 am
by irfan abid
mukarramee Amjad Sb, aadaab!

Ghazal pasand farmaane kaa bahut bahut shukriya! sher #5 par mashvire ke liye bhii mamnuun huuN. vaise is sher meN taaqeed numaayaaN nahiiN hai. :-)

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:34 am
by Hashmat Usmani
salaam Abid saaHib,

ummeed hai ki mizaaj-e-giraamii ba_Khair hoNge.

aapkii Ghazal paRhii aur bahot lutf_andoz huaa. yeh Ghazal aapkii ek nayaa andaaz liye huye hai. bahot Khoob. har ek she'r Khoob hai magar mujhe yeh ash'aar ziyaada pasand aaye, nisbatan:


ai dost! jo tuu misl-e-rag-e-jaaN nahiiN hotaa
to hijr tiraa baais-e-hirmaaN nahiiN hotaa

sochaa to kayii baar, bhulaa duuN tujhe lekin
ye kaam kisii taur, mirii jaaN! nahiiN hotaa

be.suud hai tadbeer-e-ilaaj-e-Gham-e-ulfat
is rog kaa, ai dil! koii darmaaN nahiiN hotaa

dekhe haiN bahut aaj kii dunyaa kii tamaashe
ab zahn kisii baat pe hairaaN nahiiN hotaa

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 11:12 pm
by irfan abid
Naheed sahiba, v'assalaam!

kaisii haiN aap? Ghazal par daad kaa shukriya qubuul keejiye!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 11:15 pm
by irfan abid
Usmani Sb, aadaab arz hai!

kaise mizaaj haiN? aap ne Ghazal pasand farmaayii, ye jaan kar behad masarrat huii. navaazish kaa shukriya!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 11:34 pm
by najma
irfan abid sahib, aadaab!

aap kii Ghazal pasand aayii. daad qubuul farmaaiye!

khair andesh
najma

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 11:33 pm
by irfan abid
Sara sahiba, aadaab!

aap ne Ghazal pasand farmaa kar Khaaksaar ko jo izzat baKhshii hai, us ke liye tah-e-dil se shukriya qubuul keejiye!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 11:34 pm
by irfan abid
najma sahiba, aadaab!

Ghazal pasand farmaane kaa bahut bahut shukriya!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 5:00 am
by Star Mind
moHtarami Irfan Abid SaaHib, aadaab :)

hamesha ki tarah is baar bhi aap ki Ghazal hamaare qalb-o-zehn par chaagayee :) . Ghazal ism-e-bamusamma hai :-)

hamaari jaanib se DheroN daad qabool kejeye :) shukriya

moKhliS : Zai Baloch

Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 4:06 am
by irfan abid
mukarramee Zia Sb, aadaab!

Ghazal kii pasandeedagii ke liye behad mamnuun huuN. merii jaanib se dilii shukriya qubuul farmaaiye!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid: