Jab kabhi DhoNDhne nikle the khushi ka chehrah

[Raji]

Azeezaan-e-bazm
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

Hasb-e-mamool apni ek tazaa ba tazaa do-ghazla koshish ke saat Hazir-e-khidmat hooN. umeed bhi hai aur yaqeen bhi ke apni besh-qeemat aaraa aur rehnumahii se zaroor navazeN ge.

Wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Dawood_Rizwan]

raji aap ka ya doo ghazla acha laga. khas toor par doosri ghazal ziafa pukhta aur behtar hay. dad qabool farmain.
doo aik batain

1 pehlay hissay main teesra sher kitna wazih ki bajay kitni wazih hoo ga.
2 doosri ghazal main mujay say khushi ki bajay muj koo khushi hoo ga.

aap kooshish kar kay doonoon ghazloon ko aik hi banain. is main doo ghazlay wali bat nahi. kamzoor sher nikal dain. mujay zati toor par aap ki doosri ghazal main ziada takhliqi ansar nazar aaya hay,
aallah karay zoor a bian aur ziada

rizwan

[Raji]

raji aap ka ya doo ghazla acha laga. khas toor par doosri ghazal ziafa pukhta aur behtar hay. dad qabool farmain.
doo aik batain

1 pehlay hissay main teesra sher kitna wazih ki bajay kitni wazih hoo ga.
2 doosri ghazal main mujay say khushi ki bajay muj koo khushi hoo ga.

aap kooshish kar kay doonoon ghazloon ko aik hi banain. is main doo ghazlay wali bat nahi. kamzoor sher nikal dain. mujay zati toor par aap ki doosri ghazal main ziada takhliqi ansar nazar aaya hay,
aallah karay zoor a bian aur ziada

rizwan

moHtaram janab-e-Dawood Rizwan SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

meree koshish par aap kee tavajue ke liye dil kee ghairahiyoN se shukr-guzaar hooN. aap ne jinn do batoN ka tazkira kiyaa hai unn ke leHaz se meN kalaam meN tabdeeli laa chuki hooN.

aap ka mashvara hai ke meiN donooN ghazlooN ko marge kar dooN ke iss meN do ghazlooN vaali koi baat naheiN lekin ek baat jis kee bina par meiN ne ashaar ko do HiSSooN meN toRa hai voh hai inke mukhtalif mazameen.
ek meN "jafa " mujh se hamkalam hai aur doosre meN ghamooN aur Halaat ka qissah bayaan ho raha hai. (azra-e-karam kamzor ashaar ki bhi nishaan-dahi kar deejiye)

aap aur deegar asaatiza-e-karaam se (agar voh iss jaanib tavajah deN tu inayaat ho gii) yeh maloom karna chahatee hoon ke ek hee zameen aur radeef kee alaida ghazleN behtar hotee heN khaaS kar jab unke mazameen ek doosre se mukhtalif hooN yaa phir har Soorat unko ek jaga rakhna ziyada mohacar hai.
aur yeh bhi bata deejiye ke kin Haalaat meN same zameen kee taveel ghazal ko do ghazloN meN toRna chahahiye.

yeh sawalaat ek nau-mashq kee Heciyat se kar rahi hooN taa ke apnii har mumkin confusion clear karvaa sakooN aru aahindaa iss qism kee ghalatiyaN na dohrahoN.

mamnoon-o-talib-e-dua

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Raajii Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

do ghazlah ke mani heiN 2 aisi mushabih ghazleN jin kii aek hii beHr hou, mushabih qaafiye houN aur aek hii radeef hou. Agar shaayer aek ghazal kehne ke ba'd doosri ghazal usi beHr aur zameen meiN kehtaa thaa to dounoN ko aek saath do ghazlah kaa naam detaa thaa.

Ghazal kii taAreef tou yeh hei ke us meiN kam uz kam 5 sheAr houne chaahiyeN. Yeh bhii Aam baat hei ke ghazal kaa her sheAr infiraadi Taur per apne mani rakhtaa hei. Yani aek hi ghazal meiN mumkin hei ke aek sheAr muHabbat per hou, doosra falsafeh per hou, teesra siaasat per hou, chuthaa fiTrat per hou aur isi Tarah. Albattah ghazal-e-musalsal kii shbaahat aek had tak nazm se houti hei (lekin her sheAr apne infiraadi mani rakhtaa hei lekin saare ashAar aek hii mauzooA per houte heiN.).

Aapke is kalaam ko do ghazlah nahiN keh saktee kiyoonke Ghazal (alif) ke ashAar 5 se kam heiN jinko ham aek mukammal ghazal nahiN keh sakte. Agar farz karlen ke is hisseh ke 5 yaa 5 se ziyaadah sheAr heiN tou 2 ghazlah keh sakte heiN kiyoonkeh dounoN hissaoN kii aek hi beHr hei aur zameen bhii.

Do ghazlah ke liye aisi koii sharT nahiN ke aek Taweel ghazal ke 2 hisse kardiye jaayeN.

Is vazaahat ke ba'd maiN aapke ashAar per apnaa tabsirah pesh karne jaarahaa hooN.

Alif:

1-Ham pah hanste houe kehtaa hei jafaa kaa chehrah
Milsakegaa nah kabhi tum ko wafaa kaa chehrah

DounoN misraoN ke qaafiyaoN meiN "afaa" kaa mushtarik hounaa ghazal ko is kaa paabund kartaa hei ke her sheAr ke qaafiye meiN "afaa" shaamil hou. Is qaaAide se inHraaf kii soorateN bhii paayi gaii heiN lekin kamaal haasil karne kii koushish karne waali/waale shaayeraat/ shoAaraa ko chaahiye keh is ieeTaa-e-khafi se bhii ijtinaab kareN jisko kisi ne Aib nahiN kahaa hei.
Manavi liHaaz se sheAr theek hei.

2-Aayienah saamne rakhkho kabhi dekho khud ko
Tum hii pehchan nah paouge tumhaara chehrah

Is sheAr ko yooN behtar banaayaa jaasaktaa hei:
Aayienah saamne rakhkho, zraa dekho khud ko
kabhi pehchaan nah paaouge tum apnaa chehrah

3-Kitni vaazeh hei rafeeqaoN meiN raqaabat dil kii
Tum ujaale meiN sahi dekhlo unkaa chehrah

Achchaa sheAr hei.

4-Ek nazar khud se haTaakar kabhi dekhouge agar
Aik se aik mile zeest se haaraa chehrah

Is sheAr kii ibaarat munaasib nahiN hei. Pahle misreA meiN aap sirf "nazar" isteAmaal karnaa chaahti heiN jiski vajah se lafz "Ek" ziyaadah hougayaa hei jisko Hashwo kehte heiN. Waqtii Hal is misreA kaa yooN housaktaa hei: Tum nazar khud se haTaakar kabhi dekhoge agar
Doosre misreA kii ibaarat badalne ke liye yooN karsakte heiN:
kyaa nah ubhregegaa faqaT zeest se haaraa chehrah


Bey:

a-Jab kabhi Dhoondne nikle thay khushi kaa chehrah
Mujhko miltaa hii rahaa gham ka shanaasaa chehrah

Is maTleA meiN shutargurbah hei. Pahle misreA meiN zameer-e-mustatir hei "ham" aur doosre misteA meiN lafz "mujhko" ishaarah karrahaa hei zameer "maiN" kii Taraf. Iskaa aasaan ilaaj yeh hei ke doosre misreA meiN "mujhko" kii bajaaye "hamko" kardeejiye.

b-Jaane kyaa baat thii ummeed ne dhoukah de kar
Barhaa ham ko dikhaayaa hei hamaaraa chehrah

Waah, bahut achchaa sheAr hei.

c-Chand saalaoN kii masaafat meiN nah jaane kyaa thaa
Dard kii dhoop paRii jal gayaa saaraa chehrah

Is sheAr ko behtar banaane ke liye pahle misreA ko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
chand saalaoN kii masaafat meiN Ajab haal houaa

d-Waqt-e-raftah se koii cheen ke laade mujhko
Meraa masoom saraapaa vohi piyaaraa chehrah

Yeh sheAr bhii bahut achchaa hei.

e-Ham ko maloom hei aasaaN nahiN lekin shayad
Kaash miljaye mujhe apne hii jaisaa chehrah

Is sheAr meiN bhii shutar gurbah hei. Pahle misreA meiN "ham" aur doosre meiN "mujhe". Pahle misreA meiN lafz "shayad" doosre misreA meiN "kaash" kii heiat ko bigaaR rahaa hei. Pahle misreA ko yooN kardeejiye:
mujhko maloom hei aasaan nahiN hei lekin

Ab aakhir meiN, aapke bahut hii achche ashAar kehne per apni daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Raji saaHiba,

ummeed hai ki mizaaj-e-giraamii ba_Khair hoNge.

der se ta'assuraat epsh karne ke liye ma'azarat_Khowaah huuN...aapkii Ghazal nazar_nawaaz huii aur moHtaram Naazir saaHib kii islaaH ke ba'd to aapkii Ghazal aur bhii Haseen ho gaii hai. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal kahne par merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarak_baad qubool farmaaiye.

Hashmat

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e- Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

aap soch naheiN sakte ke iss qadar tafSeeli iSlaaH daikh kar mujhe kitnee khushi hoovee hai.
meiN dil kee ghairahiyoN se aap kee mamnoon hooN ke aap ne waqt nikaal kar meree iss koshish aur mere bohat saare confusions ko clear kiya.

aap kee daad aur pur-khulooS iSlaah aur rehnumahii ke liye dil kee ghairahiyoN se shukriya. inshaAllah aahinda poori koshish rahe gii ke inn ghalatiyoN se ijtinaab bartooN.

ghazal "alif" meN se pahla she'r haTa kar ek ghazal tarteeb de rahi hooN. azra-e-karam nazr-e-caani kar leejiye.

mamnoon-o-talib-e-dua

Zahida Raees :Raji:

-----

Ghazal

1-Jab kabhi Dhoondne nikle thay khushi kaa chehrah
hamko miltaa hii rahaa gham ka shanaasaa chehrah

2-Jaane kyaa baat thii ummeed ne dhoukah de kar
Barhaa ham ko dikhaayaa hei hamaaraa chehrah

3-chand saalaoN kii masaafat meiN Ajab haal houaa
Dard kii dhoop paRii jal gayaa saaraa chehrah

4-Waqt-e-raftah se koii cheen ke laade mujhko
Meraa masoom saraapaa vohi piyaaraa chehrah

5-mujhko maloom hei aasaan nahiN hai lekin
Kaash miljaye mujhe apne hii jaisaa chehrah

6-Kitni vaazeh hei rafeeqaoN meiN raqaabat dil kii
Tum ujaale meiN sahi dekhlo unkaa chehrah

7-Aayienah saamne rakhkho, zraa dekho khud ko
kabhi pehchaan nah paaouge tum apnaa chehrah

8-Tum nazar khud se haTaakar kabhi dekhoge agar
kyaa nah ubhregegaa faqaT zeest se haaraa chehrah

(Zahida Raees :Raji:)

[najma]

raji jaan!
apki kawish pasandaaee.paRhte waqt bhi aapka lehja kaanoN meiN goonjta hay .
daad qubool kijiye aurrrrrrrrrrrrrr
khush rahiyey

[Raji]

Dear Rajii,

salaam.

waah! bohat khoob! bohat khoobsoorat
kalaam paRh ker dil khush hogaya.
sabhi ashaar bohat pasand aaye.

zor e qalam aur ziyada.

Ustad ji ke mashware ke baad mujhe
voh ashaar aur bhi pasand aaye.

dhair saari mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.

mukhlis,

sara

dearest Sara sis,

welcome back on board.
aap kee aamaad aur khat ke liye bohat bohat shukriya ke aap ke iss qadam se ham bohat khush hoove :)

aap kee d'haR saaree mubarakbaad qubool karte hoove shukirya adaa karte heN.

apni dua'oN meN yaad rakhiye

wassalaam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Dawood_Rizwan]

Azeezaan-e-bazm
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

Hasb-e-mamool apni ek tazaa ba tazaa do-ghazla koshish ke saat Hazir-e-khidmat hooN. umeed bhi hai aur yaqeen bhi ke apni besh-qeemat aaraa aur rehnumahii se zaroor navazeN ge.

Wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

raji aap nay joo tabdiliyan ki hain daikh kar dil khush hoo gia hay. buhat kam loogoon ko main nay itni tazi kay sath shairi main irtiqa kartay daikha hay. tamat ashar hi qabil a dad hain mayri buhat si duaeen aur istahsan kay kalmat aap kay lay.

rizwan

[Dawood_Rizwan]

moHtaram janab-e-Dawood Rizwan SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

meree koshish par aap kee tavajue ke liye dil kee ghairahiyoN se shukr-guzaar hooN. aap ne jinn do batoN ka tazkira kiyaa hai unn ke leHaz se meN kalaam meN tabdeeli laa chuki hooN.

aap ka mashvara hai ke meiN donooN ghazlooN ko marge kar dooN ke iss meN do ghazlooN vaali koi baat naheiN lekin ek baat jis kee bina par meiN ne ashaar ko do HiSSooN meN toRa hai voh hai inke mukhtalif mazameen.
ek meN "jafa " mujh se hamkalam hai aur doosre meN ghamooN aur Halaat ka qissah bayaan ho raha hai. (azra-e-karam kamzor ashaar ki bhi nishaan-dahi kar deejiye)

aap aur deegar asaatiza-e-karaam se (agar voh iss jaanib tavajah deN tu inayaat ho gii) yeh maloom karna chahatee hoon ke ek hee zameen aur radeef kee alaida ghazleN behtar hotee heN khaaS kar jab unke mazameen ek doosre se mukhtalif hooN yaa phir har Soorat unko ek jaga rakhna ziyada mohacar hai.
aur yeh bhi bata deejiye ke kin Haalaat meN same zameen kee taveel ghazal ko do ghazloN meN toRna chahahiye.

yeh sawalaat ek nau-mashq kee Heciyat se kar rahi hooN taa ke apnii har mumkin confusion clear karvaa sakooN aru aahindaa iss qism kee ghalatiyaN na dohrahoN.

mamnoon-o-talib-e-dua

Zahida Raees :Raji:

raji sab say pehlay too buhat buhat mazrat kay main nay jawab main buhat takhir ki. is ki waja kuch too mayri susti aur kuch shahdat ki ungli ki infection thi.
wasay too kisi jawab ki zaroorat nahi rahi kah aap nay apni ghazal main tarmeem kar kay khud hi jawab farham kar day hain. agar purani ghazal bhi board par rahti too mawazna karnay main aasani hoo jati. beherhal ghazal par ra,ay too day chuka hoon. kuch bat aap kay sawal par hoo jay.

raji
1 doo ghazla sah ghazla likhnay ka aik too ab riwaj nahi rahay.
2 ghazal kay ashar main har sher mukhtalif kafiyat ka hamil hoo sakta hay. is lay main nay kaha tha kah in koo merge kar dain
3 aik hi zameen main mukhtalif ghazlain bananay ka faisla mukamal toor par shair ka apna hoota hay.
amooman ghazal kay mood koo madd a nazar rkha jata hay.
aik hi mood kay ashar aik ghazal main darj kar day jatay hain. (agar doonoon ghazalin aik hi waqt ya qareeb qareeb kay waqt main hoon) aur doosray mood kay ashar doosri ghazal main.

in main say kuch batain tajarbay say kuch mashwaray say aur apnay wijdan say maloom hooti hain koee laga bandha asool nahi hay.

mujay aap ki doonoo ghazloon ka mood aik hi laga tha bawajood is kay ka joo tafreeq aap nay ki mood par koee asar nahi Dalti. is lay unhain yakja karnay koo kaha tha.

aap nay intihaee darust tariqay par ashar koo ikhTha kia hay. us kay lay mayri janib say dad hazir hay qabool farmain
rizwan

[Raji]

Azeezaan-e-bazm
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

Hasb-e-mamool apni ek tazaa ba tazaa do-ghazla koshish ke saat Hazir-e-khidmat hooN. umeed bhi hai aur yaqeen bhi ke apni besh-qeemat aaraa aur rehnumahii se zaroor navazeN ge.

Wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

raji aap nay joo tabdiliyan ki hain daikh kar dil khush hoo gia hay. buhat kam loogoon ko main nay itni tazi kay sath shairi main irtiqa kartay daikha hay. tamat ashar hi qabil a dad hain mayri buhat si duaeen aur istahsan kay kalmat aap kay lay.

rizwan

Janab-e-Dawood Rizwan SaaHeb:Aadaab-o- Tasleemat,
aap kee aaraa aur pur-khuloos encouragement ke liye dil kee ghairahiyoN se shukr guzaar hooN. ham nau-mashqooN kee taraqii ke peeche aap se sukhanwar aur asaatiza-e-karaam hee kaar farma heN :)

[Raji]

salaam Raji saaHiba,

ummeed hai ki mizaaj-e-giraamii ba_Khair hoNge.

der se ta'assuraat epsh karne ke liye ma'azarat_Khowaah huuN...aapkii Ghazal nazar_nawaaz huii aur moHtaram Naazir saaHib kii islaaH ke ba'd to aapkii Ghazal aur bhii Haseen ho gaii hai. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal kahne par merii jaanib se DheroN mubaarak_baad qubool farmaaiye.

Hashmat

moHtaram janab-e-Hashmat SaaHeb,
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

takheer se jawab daine ke liye bohat ma'zarat. aap kee daad aur mubarakbaad ke liye dil kee ghairahiyoN se mamnooon hooN.

wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Raji]

raji jaan!
apki kawish pasandaaee.paRhte waqt bhi aapka lehja kaanoN meiN goonjta hay .
daad qubool kijiye aurrrrrrrrrrrrrr
khush rahiyey

my dearest Najmaa jee :)

hasb-e-mamool aap ke khat meN aap ka pyaar bhara lehjaa daikh kar dil baagh baagh ho gaya :) aap kee daad aur dua^On ke liye d'har saaree shukriyaa qubool keejiye. aur hamaisha aisee hee rahiye

[jawaid badauni]

Raji SahibaH

Apki Ghaal bahut pasaNd aaii. Meri janib se daad qubool kijiye.

Zindabad.

Khair Andesh
Jawaid

[Raji]

Raji SahibaH

Apki Ghaal bahut pasaNd aaii. Meri janib se daad qubool kijiye.

Zindabad.

Khair Andesh
Jawaid

moHtaram janab-e-Jawaid Badauni SaaHeb

Aadaab-o-tasleemat,

takheer se khat ka jawab daine ke liye bohat ma'azrat khwa hooN. Ghazal kee pasandeedgi aur daad ke liye bohat mamnoon hooN. iss yaqeen ke saath keh aahinda bhi aap apnee aara se navaazte raheNge.

wassalam

Zahida Raees :Raji: