riaz ahmed saraa wrote:doosto Haal hi meiN aik taaza ghazl hu'ii hai aap loogooN ki khidmat meiN paish kra rahaa huN aap ki aaraa kaa intizaar rahe taa
ham ne mehtaab ko khursheed uthaa'e dikhaa
jab hathaili pe usay cheraa tikaa'ae daikhaa
ham ne daikhe haiN gale milte hu'ae shaam-o-saHar
jab HaseeN rukh pe usey zulf giraa'ae daikhaa
jis ne ik baar bhi daikhe haiN woh aaNkhaiN- usko
umr bhar HairtaiN aaNkhooN meiN basaa'ae daikhaa
us ke hooNtooN pe jo halkaa saa tabasum THeraa
phool kaliooN ko bhi kashkool baRhaa'ae dikhaa :rose :rose
jis se do bool kahe us ne moHabbat ke riaz
usko sab raNj-o-alam, dard bhulaa'ae daikhaa
riaz
SALA/\/\.
WAH WAH BOHAT ACHI GHAZAL HAY SHARE KARNAY KA SHUKRIYA.
ATTIQ ABBASI
Attiq Abbasi saHib
aadaab
janaab mamnoon huN k aap ne ghazal ko paRha aur ise apni raa'ae se navaaza.
ummeed hai k aaNida bhi Hosala afzaaii farmaate rahaiN ge
Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi lekin uske ashAar apni nazar se dekhkar un per tabsirah karne kii jasaarat karrahaa hooN jis se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.
ham ne mehtaab ko khursheed uthaa'e dikhaa
jab hathaili pe usay cheraa tikaa'ae daikhaa
MaTlaA bahut khoob hei lekin mujhe aapki tashbeeh ghair manoos maloom houi. Aap kii tashbeeh se yeh zaahir hourahaa hei ke aap hatheili ko mehtaab aur chere ko khursheed se tashbeeh de rahe heiN.
ham ne daikhe haiN gale milte hu'ae shaam-o-saHar
jab HaseeN rukh pe usey zulf giraa'ae daikhaa
Bahut hii achcha sheAr hei. Waah waah.
jis ne ik baar bhi daikhe haiN woh aaNkhaiN- usko
umr bhar HairtaiN aaNkhooN meiN basaa'ae daikhaa
pahle misreA meiN jis ne ik baar bhi dekhi heiN hounaa chaahiye kiyooNkeh lafz "ne" ka isteAmal is qaaAide kii paabandi ko laazim qaraar detaa hei agar faa'Ail mufrad hou tou "dekhii" saheeh hei. Waise sheAr achcha hei.
us ke hooNtooN pe jo halkaa saa tabasum THeraa
phool kaliooN ko bhi kashkool baRhaa'ae dikhaa
SheAr bahut achcha hei.
jis se do bool kahe us ne moHabbat ke riaz
usko sab raNj-o-alam, dard bhulaa'ae daikhaa
Aapke maqTeA ke pahle misreA meiN "jis se" kii bajaaye "jis ne" hou tou misraA barabar houjayega
lekin ibaarat ko vaazeh karne ke liye us misreA ko yooN karnaa paRega: "jis ne do boul muHabbat ke kahe dil se Riaz". Is TaraH maqteA kaa mafhoom bhii samajh meiN aajaega. Doosre misreA meiN ranj-o-alam, dard meiN "aur" yaa Harf-e-Atf kii kami meHsoos hourahi hei. isko yooN kardeN to ibaarat vaazeh houjayegi"usko sab ranj o gham o dard bhulaaye dekhaa
Aakhir meiN aapki is bahut hii dilkash ghazal per mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN. Meri dili daad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Motaram janaab Abdullah Nazir saHib
aadaab arz hai
janaab beHad khushi hu'ii k aap ne itne tafseeli tabsare se navaaza
jahaaN tak is baat ka ta'aluq hai
pahle misreA meiN jis ne ik baar bhi dekhi heiN hounaa chaahiye kiyooNkeh lafz "ne" ka isteAmal is qaaAide kii paabandi ko laazim qaraar detaa hei agar faa'Ail mufrad hou tou "dekhii" saheeh hei. Waise sheAr achcha hei.
to ye roman meiN likhne ki wajha se hu'aa jo aap ne farmaaya hai maiN ne bhi ise daikhi hi likhaa hai laikan typing mistake ho ga'ii hai kiunke urdu ko roman meiN likhte hu'ae yuN ho jaata hai
baaqi aap ki daad aur tabasare ke liae aap kaa ehsaan mand huN
aur ummmeed kartaa huln k aaiNda bhi yuNhi rahnumaaii farmate rahaiN ge
