ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Shummu »

Salaam!

Ek nayi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai...ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi! :)

Arz kiya hai...

ROMAN VERSION

ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat ki

sunaa raat jab hai inaayaat ki
sitaaroN ne shab bhar munaajaat ki

bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat ki
ke haalat bhi khastaa hai haalaat ki!

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

nahii raas aati hai izzat jise
wahi baat kartaa hai auqaat ki

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii

ye sher-o-sukhan,ye mirii shaa'irii
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

Aap ki aara ki muntazir,
Shumaila
Attachments
ajab_raat_hai_ye.jpg
ajab_raat_hai_ye.jpg (110.79 KiB) Viewed 1244 times
Last edited by Shummu on Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
waqar_masood
-
-
Posts: 134
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 5:52 am
Location: khanewal
Contact:
Contact waqar_masood

Post by waqar_masood »

shummu ji salamzz

neheyaat asaan say alfaaz ko nehayat umdagi say sheroon ki larree main pro ker aap nay nehayat khubsoorat ghazal takhleeq kee hay aur bila shuba qabl e daad hay .. buhut umdaa .. share kernay ka bay had shukria,,

waqar masood
hello
Top
Hashmat Usmani
-
-
Posts: 1173
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:00 pm
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Contact:
Contact Hashmat Usmani

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Hashmat Usmani »

salaam moHtaramah Shumaai'la saaHiba,

aapkii taaza_ba_taaza Ghazal paRhii aur bas maiN angusht_ba_dandaaN rah gayaa aur bas muNh se waah waah be_iKhtiyaar nikal paRaa. Hairaangii is baat kii ki kia koii itnii aasaan zabaan se itnii behtareen bayaan bhi klar saktaa hai. bahot Khoob Shmaai'la saaHiba, bahot Khoob.

aapne lafz-e-"kii" [of] aur lafz-e-"kii" [done] kaa jo ustaadaanah aur jis chaabuk_dastii se kiyaa hai uske liye DheroN mubaarak_baad aur daad qubool farmaaiye.

go ki, Ghazal ka har ek she'r hii ek se ek 'aala_o_'urfa hai, phir bhi maiN mundarija zai'l ash'aar kii nishaan_dehii kar rahaa huuN. bhai, mujhe be_Had pasand aaye aapke yeh ash'aar:

ajab raat hai yeh tilismaat kii
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat kii

bhalaa baat kab thii yeh ik raat kii
k har shab hii nainoN ne barsaat kii

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat kii
k haalat bhii khastaa hai Haalaat kii!

nahii raas aati hai 'izzat jise
vohii baat kartaa hai auqaat kii

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN Khush dekh kar
Khushii to hai yeh chand lamHaat kii

jo qismat ne cheena miraa hum_safar
mitaa diiN lakeereN sabhii haath kii
Image
Top
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:
Contact Abdullah Nazir

Bahut Khoob Waah Waah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


S H U M M U

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi. Saare ashAar khoob heiN aur khaas Taur per ye ashAar:


bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii
=====
Albattah yeh aakhiri sheAr kaa doosra misrA beHr se khaarij hei:
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

Isko yooN kardeejiye:
(yeh roodaad-e-ulfat hei her zaat kii) yaa phir:
[hei roodaad-e-ulfat her ik zaat kii) yaa jaize aap munasib samjheN.

Meri bharpoor daad aur mubarakbaad haazir hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Top
User avatar
Mahtab Qadr
-
-
Posts: 559
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
Contact:
Contact Mahtab Qadr

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Mahtab Qadr »

Shummu wrote:Salaam!

Ek nayi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai...ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi! :)

Arz kiya hai...

URDU VERSION

Image


ROMAN VERSION

ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat ki

sunaa raat jab hai inaayaat ki
sitaaroN ne shab bhar munaajaat ki

bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat ki
ke haalat bhi khastaa hai haalaat ki!

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

nahii raas aati hai izzat jise
wahi baat kartaa hai auqaat ki

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii

ye sher-o-sukhan,ye mirii shaa'irii
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

Aap ki aara ki muntazir,
Shumaila
shummu ji adaab
ghazal bahut khoobsurat aur aik gahri sachaioN ki akkasi kar rahi hai vo sachaiyaN jisay aik shayer ziada samajh sakta hai. bahut khoob.
Top
Raji
-
-
Posts: 211
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 6:58 am
Location: Home Sweet Home
Contact:
Contact Raji

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Raji »

Shummu wrote:Salaam!

Ek nayi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai...ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi! :)

Arz kiya hai...

ROMAN VERSION

ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat ki

sunaa raat jab hai inaayaat ki
sitaaroN ne shab bhar munaajaat ki

bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat ki
ke haalat bhi khastaa hai haalaat ki!

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

nahii raas aati hai izzat jise
wahi baat kartaa hai auqaat ki

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii

ye sher-o-sukhan,ye mirii shaa'irii
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

Azeezi ShumaiLa sis,
aap kee ghazal mujhe nhi bauth khoob maLoom howee.
Yaqeen jaano tamaam ashaar hee pasand aahe aur khaas kar asaatizaa ke mashvaroon per agar tum amaL karo tu kyaa baat ho gi :)

So hamari jaanib se tu daad qubooL keejiye.

aur aahinda bhi hamain yoonhi achi achi ghazLein suNaati raha keejiye

MukhLis

Zahida Raees :Raji:
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Post by Shummu »

waqar_masood wrote:shummu ji salamzz

neheyaat asaan say alfaaz ko nehayat umdagi say sheroon ki larree main pro ker aap nay nehayat khubsoorat ghazal takhleeq kee hay aur bila shuba qabl e daad hay .. buhut umdaa .. share kernay ka bay had shukria,,

waqar masood
W'salaam Waqar sahab!

Ghazal ki itne khoobsurat alfaaz mein pazeraayi farmaane ka dil ki gehraaiyon se shukriya qubool farmaayein :)

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
naheedv
-
-
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 3:53 am
Contact:
Contact naheedv

Post by naheedv »

Shumaila Dear,

main ne aap ki ye ghazal mushaira par bhee aap ki aawaaz meiN sunii aur dusrey forums par bhee paRhii. magar meree kaahili kaho ke maiN chaahate huve bhee apny khayalaat aap tak na pahoNchaa saki, iss ke liye ma'zarat :)

aap ne vaqai ghazal buhat achi likhi hai aur mujhe buhat pasaNd aa'ee. magar aik baat jo main ne note kee hai aap ki ghazal meiN voh husne matla's ki buhtaat hai :) kyaa baat hai aap ki,

ghazal par meree daad aur mubaarak baad qubool ho.

mukhlis
Naheed
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Shummu »

Hashmat Usmani wrote:salaam moHtaramah Shumaai'la saaHiba,

aapkii taaza_ba_taaza Ghazal paRhii aur bas maiN angusht_ba_dandaaN rah gayaa aur bas muNh se waah waah be_iKhtiyaar nikal paRaa. Hairaangii is baat kii ki kia koii itnii aasaan zabaan se itnii behtareen bayaan bhi klar saktaa hai. bahot Khoob Shmaai'la saaHiba, bahot Khoob.

aapne lafz-e-"kii" [of] aur lafz-e-"kii" [done] kaa jo ustaadaanah aur jis chaabuk_dastii se kiyaa hai uske liye DheroN mubaarak_baad aur daad qubool farmaaiye.

go ki, Ghazal ka har ek she'r hii ek se ek 'aala_o_'urfa hai, phir bhi maiN mundarija zai'l ash'aar kii nishaan_dehii kar rahaa huuN. bhai, mujhe be_Had pasand aaye aapke yeh ash'aar:

ajab raat hai yeh tilismaat kii
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat kii

bhalaa baat kab thii yeh ik raat kii
k har shab hii nainoN ne barsaat kii

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat kii
k haalat bhii khastaa hai Haalaat kii!

nahii raas aati hai 'izzat jise
vohii baat kartaa hai auqaat kii

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN Khush dekh kar
Khushii to hai yeh chand lamHaat kii

jo qismat ne cheena miraa hum_safar
mitaa diiN lakeereN sabhii haath kii

W'salaaam Hashmat sahab..aap ne to humein lajawaab hi kar Daala..is qadar taareef...uff kahin main sapna to nahi dekh rahi :shock: wow ghazal se khoobsurat to aap ki taareef hai he he...main to khushi se phoole nahi samaaN rahi...shukriya bahut bahut janaab is qadar hausla afzaii aur pazeraayi farmaane ka.. :D

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
jawaid badauni
-
-
Posts: 810
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
Contact:
Contact jawaid badauni

Post by jawaid badauni »

Shumaila Bibi,

Bbahut haseen ghazal se nawaza hai aap ne. Yaqeenan bahut mehnat ki hogi inn ashAr ko kahne meN. Zindabad bahna.

Doago

Jawaid Badauni
muscat - Oman
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Re: Bahut Khoob Waah Waah

Post by Shummu »

Abdullah Nazir wrote:
S H U M M U

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi. Saare ashAar khoob heiN aur khaas Taur per ye ashAar:


bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii
=====
Albattah yeh aakhiri sheAr kaa doosra misrA beHr se khaarij hei:
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

Isko yooN kardeejiye:
(yeh roodaad-e-ulfat hei her zaat kii) yaa phir:
[hei roodaad-e-ulfat her ik zaat kii) yaa jaize aap munasib samjheN.

Meri bharpoor daad aur mubarakbaad haazir hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Salaam nazir bhai..aap jaise sahib-e-ilm aur kohna mashq shaayar se daad paa ke dheron ser khoon baRh gaya...mujhe kitni khushi ho rahi hai ke bataa nahi sakti...aap ne pasandeedagi ki mohar laga di goyaa meri mehnat vusool hui...aap ne jo tajveez aakhri sher ke hawaale se di hai..us pe bhi maiN ghaur kar rhai hoon..behad shukriya ..ummeed hai aayenda bhi meri rehnumaayi aur hauslaa afzaii farmaate rahenge :)

Talib-e-duaa,
Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Shummu »

Mahtab Qadr wrote: shummu ji adaab

ghazal bahut khoobsurat aur aik gahri sachaioN ki akkasi kar rahi hai vo sachaiyaN jisay aik shayer ziada samajh sakta hai. bahut khoob.
Mahtab sahab ADAAB!

Ghazal ko pasand farmaane ka aur itni khoobsurat daad se nawaazne ka dili shukriya qubool farmaayeiN :)

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
tahira Masood
-
-
Posts: 338
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:54 pm

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by tahira Masood »

Shummu wrote:Salaam!

Ek nayi ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai...ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi! :)

Arz kiya hai...

ROMAN VERSION

ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki
zameeN aasmaaN ne mulaqaat ki

bohat khoob

sunaa raat jab hai inaayaat ki
sitaaroN ne shab bhar munaajaat ki

zabardast!!!!!

bhalaa baat kab thi ye ik raat ki
k har shab hi nainoN ne barsaat ki

Mukarrar zabardast!!!! :)

zaraa intehaa dekh sadmaat ki
ke haalat bhi khastaa hai haalaat ki!

waah waah bohat hi a'Alaa daad k qaabil hai waah :D

faqat baat kii thii musaawaat ki
na thii baat woh ikhtilaafaat ki

kayaa baat ki hai khush ker diyaa. bohat achae

nahii raas aati hai izzat jise
wahi baat kartaa hai auqaat ki

:lol: kayaa baat hai ji khoob bohat meHzuz huee yeh peRh ker

na ho shaad mujh ko yuN khush dekh kar
khushii to hai ye chand lamhaat ki

Allah nah kere keh aisaa ho Allah daaimee khushiyaaN dey.Ameen. magar mazmoon khoob hai

ishaaroN meiN jaane woh kyaa keh gaya
hui mujh pe baarish sawaalaat ki

aaj tau aap hairaan kiya jaa rehi haiN . aik se aik achaa mazmoon intehaaii umdagi se aur rawaani se bayaan kiay jaa rehi haiN. wallah bohat khoob

jo qismat ne cheena miraa humsafar
mitaa diiN lakeereiN sabhiN haath kii

very sad :(

ye sher-o-sukhan,ye mirii shaa'irii
rudaad-e-mohabbat hai har zaat ki!

bohat acha likhaa hai Shummu aap ne. dilee daad aur mubaarikbaad qabuul fermaaeiN.

Aap ki aara ki muntazir,
Shumaila
live and let live

Image
Top
User avatar
Shummu
-
-
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:41 am
Contact:
Contact Shummu

Re: ajab raat hai ye tilismaat ki

Post by Shummu »

Raji wrote:
Azeezi ShumaiLa sis,
aap kee ghazal mujhe bhi bauth khoob maLoom howee.
Yaqeen jaano tamaam ashaar hee pasand aahe aur khaas kar asaatizaa ke mashvaroon per agar tum amaL karo tu kyaa baat ho gi :)

So hamari jaanib se tu daad qubooL keejiye.

aur aahinda bhi hamain yoonhi achi achi ghazLein suNaati raha keejiye

MukhLis

Zahida Raees :Raji:

Dear Raji sis..ek arsa-e-daraaz baad apni kisi ghazal pe aap ka reply dekh kar itni khushi hui ke kya bataoon...bahut bahut shukriya ghazal ko pasand farmaane ka aur daad se nawaazne ka :D

Talib-e-duaa,

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
Top
khurram_shaikh
-
-
Posts: 136
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 5:21 am

Post by khurram_shaikh »

Assalaam alekum,




bahooot khoob bahoot umdeh shumaila sukhan bahoot umdeh kalaam share kiyaa aapnien apnaa DAAD haazir hai dil ki gehraayiyoon se khush rahien aru khooob likhien
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Kalaam-e-Sukhanwar”